


Bride and Prejudice

by 3431jess



Category: Mulan (1998), Mulan - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ancient China, Arranged Marriage, Disturbing Themes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Implied Sexual Content, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suggestive Themes, Tragic Romance, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:58:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 100,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8909998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3431jess/pseuds/3431jess
Summary: After the mayhem she created in the Matchmaker's house, Mulan married Shang, the man she didn't know.When the war broke off, Mulan disguised herself as a man and took the place of her father.When Shang began to grow fond of the lanky, elusive boy named Ping in his regiment, the boy disappeared after saving him from the Huns.Would he know that Ping was the wife he had left behind?A lot of sexual tension. And you will want to punch Shang at times. Kiss him at times.... Yeah, he could be such a handsome, clueless dork!Note : posted in FF net, and normally updated ahead of time there. (I have to make an edit to post it here).Snippet of the future chapter will be posted on my tumblr: 3431jessica





	1. The Land of Hopes and Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Mulan multi-chapter fiction. I had just watched the first movie (and haven't watched the second one yet). I do apologize if something seems to be out of character.
> 
> Special thanks to  
> WindSongEnchantment (FF, author of Love or Law)  
> and crackersme (AO, author of Triskele) who agreed to drop their opinions and beta-ed this piece. I owed you two tons! Thank you!

This story is dedicated to two grandmothers of mine that have shown me what courage can change and do. They were both brought up as stereotypical Chinese women; deliberately crippled to conform to male ideals of beauty; living and abiding as the underlings of patrilineal society. Both of them obediently wedded the man they didn't know, bore them sons, and lived in never-ending loyalty, servitude, and submission. Arranged marriage was considered a quaint cultural taste that no modern people, especially in the west, could ever fathom.

Despite their oppression, both of my grandmothers became the most aspirational women to many younger women in our family. To the outside world, my grandmother appeared to be a failure, a victim of filial piety and testimony of what women willingly do to satisfy the whims and fancies of men. But underneath their delicate features, dainty hands and fragile appearance laid a true warrior's heart and an iron soul. They were individuals who were capable of restraining their selfish wants and needs, putting their children's welfare and their husband's honor before themselves. Their lives might never have been a fairy-tale or fabled legend; or end happily like a Disney movie; but their sacrifice, ardor, and zeal for life live as a legacy to their descendants to be retold.

* * *

 

"And though she be but little, she is fierce." -Shakespeare

"Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible." - Maya Angelou

"Fearlessness may be a gift but perhaps more precious is the courage acquired through endeavour, courage that comes from cultivating the habit of refusing to let fear dictate one's actions, courage that could be described as 'grace under pressure' – grace which is renewed repeatedly in the face of harsh, unremitting pressure." - Aung San Suu Kyi

* * *

 

The wind blew softly, disturbing the sweeping limbs of the ancient plum tree, creating a magnificent display of soft, pink petals dancing through the air. This was one of those fine spring days, where the air was filled with the sweet scent of blossoms and the pasture was dense with sprouting wildflowers. However, Mulan failed to cultivate any appreciation for the majestic display mother nature had brought her. Under the tree, she sat on the garden bench with deep melancholy wrapping her posture, her eyes stared dejectedly into space.

"Mulan?"

She heard a familiar raspy voice calling. Mulan lifted her face to meet the sympathetic gaze of her grandmother. She averted her gaze back to the ground, fixing her sight on the dust collecting under the sole of her foot while the old lady approached and took a seat next to her.

"I am sorry to disappoint you, Grandma," Mulan said, almost inaudible to her Grandmother's ailing ears. Tears began to form at the corner of her eyes.

Mulan thought that everyone in her family would be furious after the epic apocalypse she created in the Matchmaker's house. But instead, Grandma Fa chuckled softly while generously rubbing Mulan's shoulder, offering her wordless consolation.

"I understand how you feel, Mulan," She said breaking the momentary was nothing in her voice but patience and understanding. "I was once….a young lady too, just like you. Full of dreams...of ideals. Full of life!" A nostalgic smile appeared on her face while her mind settled back into the past,"And just like you, being a girl doesn't always agree with me."

Blinking through the tears that threatened to fall, Mulan looked at her grandmother's kind, lined face.

"You mean, you were… uhm…. ―" Mulan's mouth worked wordlessly to find an appropriate word.

"A little bit... _klutzy_? Yes. In fact, exceptionally klutzy!" The old woman laughed, low and throaty. "My parents had a hard time finding a man who would be willing to marry me."

The bitterness in Mulan's face vanished, leaving only sweetness behind. "Did you… create chaos at the Matchmaker's house too?" She asked gingerly, but she couldn't hide the hint of relief in her voice.

Grandma Fa's smile spread an inch wider,"Not exactly. It was in my father's house when I first met this young man, handsome, dark and tall. And I trip and fell over the door and managed to slam the candle holder on the process. Alas, the candle was lit... it rolled under the table and stopped next to this young man's feet, and then his expensive silk trousers was...-" she laughed. "You should have seen the mortified expression on my parents' faces. I nearly burned the house down! And incinerated my newly appointed fiance alive!" She narrated between her sporadic chuckles."I was so scared and nervous...I nearly wet myself!"

Mulan laughed. "Oh no! Is that the poor guy you ended up marrying?"

"No, not really," Grandma Fa chuckled, shaking her head into the memory. "But this has proven to us that we have to be open to the possibility of the universe when it comes to meeting the right spouses."

Mulan smiled, "Right you are, Grandma."

Seeing her granddaughter's mood lightened, the old lady inquired,"How about you tell me your story, hmm?"

Mulan eloquently accepted her offer.

_Mulan's sudden downfall started when the Matchmaker, an imperious looking lady with an ample bosom, called her name. At first, she was just complaining of Mulan's lapse of grace and then criticizing her waist size because she deemed it was unfavorable for childbearing._

"Nonsense!" Grandma Fa grumbled with a disapproving tone."She was just jealous of your perfect waist size!" Mulan was sure the last bit was an exaggeration, but she couldn't help but laugh at her grandmother's astute, yet disparaging remark.

"Perhaps she thinks her phenomenal waist size would be perfect for bearing sons," Mulan said absently, attempting to be kind despite the situation.

"More like bearing an elephant, I should think," Grandma Fa added another pinch of her sarcasm for good measure. No one insulted her granddaughter and got away with it!

 _When the moment came to recite the final admonition, flicking her fan to mask her uneasiness, Mulan began to quote, 'Fulfill your duties calmly and res..._ pectfully _, reflect before you snack― ' She spluttered,'―act! This shall bring you honor and glory.' She uttered while risking stealing a glance at the smudged inscription on her wrist._

"You mean that black blotch right there?" Grandma Fa interrupted and pointed to the black ink stain on Mulan's wrist. Mulan smothered an urge to cringe. She flashed an innocent smile to cover her discomfort, while her free hand fumbled to straighten her sleeve and cover the evidence of her crime. Grandma Fa smirked, inwardly congratulating her granddaughter for her cunning proclivity.

_The next task seemed to be harmless enough. Pouring tea. What could possibly go wrong? It was something she had done every day of her life but, unfortunately for Mulan; she was unable to focus entirely on the trivial task. The Matchmaker's blackened palm (from despicably grabbing her wrist), had accidentally drawn two black lines on her face. Mulan ended up flooding the table._

_She finally managed to locate the tea cup and fill it successfully. It was at that point that Mulan had wistfully thought the crisis was behind her. Then, her eyes discovered her lucky cricket relaxing blissfully inside the cup. With surprising grace, nearly impossible for a lady her size, the Matchmaker glided smoothly over to take a swig. It was awful coincidence indeed. With her good intention to avoid giving the copiously-bosomed lady an unhealthy protein intake, Mulan attempted to tug the cup away forcefully, but the Matchmaker was equally adamant. The battle of dominance broke off for a split second with an obvious winner, but then the cricket had slipped into the Matchmaker's bra._

"It was the lucky cricket you gave me, Grandma," Mulan glowered. She couldn't conceal the accusatory edge in her voice. Cri Kee snorted indignantly upon hearing this, flicking his eyes to the old lady as if asking for judicial review, but Grandma Fa registered none of it, only laughing loudly at Mulan's expense.

 _Realizing her lapse of grace, Mulan attempted to rectify her blunder. However, she ended up festering the Matchmaker's fleshy butt into flames with her silk fan. Mulan then chased her around the room to douse it. She threw the entire pot of tea in a perfect, wrongly-timed throw that ended up bathing the Matchmaker's face and causing her thick make-up to run into a drippy mess._  
By then Grandma Fa was laughing so hard, she almost fell over before sobering into more ladylike giggles.

"The Matchmaker was right. I may look like a bride, but I will never bring honor to my family." Mulan let a resentful sigh escape her lips. She had thought it wouldn't take a genius to regale a Matchmaker lady, but she obviously had a talent for turning simple tea parties into absolute mayhem.

While Grandma Fa was aware of her granddaughter's catastrophic clumsiness, she still believed Mulan was more than capable of being a perfect wife. "Mulan, just because you are unlucky today, doesn't mean there won't be anyone who wants you as his wife."  
Truthfully, Mulan was wondering whether she would ever be fit to be a wife should anyone want her.

Mulan felt there was a certain prejudice stamped against her. Other girls were a shade or two fairer than she was. Their feet were neatly bound, peeking daintily from the hem of their hanfu. They kept their long hair in intricate buns, painted their nails neatly, and covered their faces with make-up that would enhance their natural beauty.

Mulan, in contrast, had a healthy hint of tan in her complexion. She never shied away from the sun or bothered to hide under the shadow of a parasol. Her feet were nimble and fast, free from the boundage of tradition and restraint. Her straight hair was running slightly longer than shoulder length, which she found a lot more practical and less time consuming than keeping it long.

While other maidens her age busied themselves in perfecting their domestic competence and equipping themselves to reach their womanly potential, Mulan preferred spending her time exploring the dense coppice on the back of her black steed or teamed up with her younger brother to wield their blades against fictitious enemies.

She understood that her father brought her up differently. The retired Imperial Army General and great strategist, Fa Zhou, had decided to give his daughter the same opportunities as his son and equal freedom in her life choices. Mulan was free to pursue the things that she liked; such as riding horse and learning sword fight; the same as her younger brother, Fa Ping. But at her life stage at the moment Mulan didn't know; was she the ugly one, or the lucky one? Maybe she was just too naive of social rules and society's expectations.

"My Dear, you think you are not lucky today because you cannot see the future. Think of this," Grandma Fa explained gently,"if you meet someone you love, months even years from now, wouldn't you be lucky not to get betrothed to the wrong man today?"

For a second Mulan was stunned, intrigued at her Grandmother's wisdom.

Love? Mulan ruminated. How could one love someone he or she hardly knows? Her mind argued with skepticism. But, her sight roamed through the garden archway where she could see her parents. Her father's hand enfolded her mother's affectionately as they spoke. His eyes gleamed with tenderness and passion, wandering occasionally to observe his wife who was still absorbed in talking to him. A warm wave wrapped her heart, hoisting her hope. Perhaps there is such a thing as love…. even in an arranged marriage.

"And I can feel that tomorrow will be your lucky day!" Grandma Fa added throatily, breaking Mulan from her momentary trance. But before she could continue her lecture, a distinct growl came from down below, impolitely interrupting their conversation. Mulan smiled sheepishly.

"Mulan, you haven't eaten since morning!" Grandma Fa rose from her seat. Her deceptively fragile hand tugging Mulan's forearm and dragging her towards the house. Mulan opened her mouth, about to refute the words of allegation, but her stomach protested even louder.

"I think we better feed it before it causes an earthquake." Grandma Fa remarked teasingly.  
This time Mulan nodded and followed her with obedience.

* * *

 

The next morning, with the dew still thick on the grass, Grandma Fa strode to the nearby temple to release Cri-Kee while taking a cauldron of soup for the monks. She serenaded a delightful tune as she walked, when a lady in a formal outfit walking in haste, accidentally barged into her. Both stumbled back from the impact of the collision, and were promptly covered in a soupy mess.

"Oh dear gods, my apology!" The lady hastily offered her hand, aiding Grandma Fa to stand up.

"No, don't worry dear. At least I smell delicious!" Grandma Fa waved her hand dismissively.  
"Shame for the soup though." The lady commented, looking pointedly at the vegetables clumped on the ground.

"And how are you?" Grandma Fa raked her gaze up and down the lady's figure, evaluating the situation. The lady's make-up was now smudged by a mixture of sweat and broth. There were a few slices of carrot and onion trapped in her beautifully styled hair, her silk slippers were coated with grime and ginger, and her fine silk hanfu was beyond recognition. But even in her chaotic appearance, Grandma Fa didn't fail to appreciate her striking features. Her big, dark eyes glinted under the sun, her sharp-hewn face was decorated with fine lines, a perfect balance of age and former beauty. Under her ruqun, the evidence of her tight, feminine figure was still obvious from her elegant posture.

"It will take a few hours, but I can still go home to change." The lady replied, but Grandma Fa could sense exasperation in her voice. After a few minutes questioning her, Grandma Fa gathered the lady ―Mrs. Li, came to visit her sister who lived two villages down the road. She was on her way to her niece's wedding ceremony.

"Would you like to come to my home? I live only a few blocks away. I am sure my daughter-in-law has some spare clothes she could lend you." Grandma Fa proposed.

Mrs. Li contemplated for a moment. It was undeniably a hard offer to resist. After thanking Grandma Fa's benevolence incessantly, Mrs. Li walked alongside her.

* * *

 

Ceaseless conversation and harmless banter echoed from Grandma Fa's quarters. With Mulan and Ping in school, and their parents visiting a relative over the weekend, Grandma Fa had the house to herself.

"Thank you for opening your house for a stranger like me," Li Yue said, politely taking a sip of her tea. "And this ruqun... I shall...-"

"Don't worry about it, my daughter-in-law has plenty. I bet she hardly noticed one of them was missing," Grandma Fa replied, pouring more tea into her own cup. "I believe our fateful meeting is not merely an accident."

"Maybe not," Li Yue smiled.

Minutes into the conversation, it became obvious to Li Yue that the Fa matriarch was a talkative and friendly lady―even indulging a little too much on a piece of scandalous tale. Grandma Fa's mesmerizing eyes twinkled with enthusiasm when she explicated her own life story, including the dramatic escape as she ran away from home to marry her lover. Instead of feeling ashamed and curbing the temptation to spill more salacious story, Grandma Fa fed her with more juicy scandal by saying her son was conceived outside the wedlock―the story that had become so intimately familiar with Li Yue.

"My life with him was this great, big adventure. Our life was, by no means easy. Our village people shunned us, both our parents disowned us....and we have to live the rest of our lives knowing the burden of dishonouring them was our choice and doings. But... we did have each other and we promise to conquer every storm of life together," Grandma Fa said, smiling somberly as she closed her story. 

A glimpse of anger and regret rose in Li Yue's chest, but she chose not to say anything. This was someone else's life, someone else's story who happened to mirrored her own... except that..―

"I should stop talking." Grandma Fa said. She must have noticed the swing of mood in the room. 

Later on, Li Yue found out that Grandma Fa's son was none other than Fa Zhou, an illustrious soldier, and war strategist. She impressed Grandma Fa further with her knowledge of a few battle strategies Fa Zhou created during his time of duty before his injuries forced him to relinquish his position as Army General.

"I am honored to get to know an incredible lady like you, Aunt Fa," she flattered.

"You are quite knowledgeable yourself, Mrs. Li," Grandma Fa responded, "Not many women are well informed about what happens in the world of men, especially in the Army."

"Please, just call me Li Yue," she said with overwhelming sweetness in her voice. "My husband, Li Jiang used to work with your son. That's how I heard about how great he was." Grandma Fa's eyes glimmered with pride as Li Yue lavished a string of spontaneous adulations over Fa Zhou's previous exploits.

Their repartee drifted from their husbands and sons, to the betrothal. Of course, Grandma Fa didn't fail to mention Mulan's phenomenal performance at the Matchmaker's house, not that she considered it to be shameful, in fact quite the opposite.

"I actually have a son who is of a perfect age to marry. However, we haven't found a suitable bride yet," she articulated persuasively. Considering Mulan came from a desirable background of excellent nobility, Li Yue couldn't help but get ahead of herself to offer her son's hand in marriage. 

"He is a Captain working under his father's regiment. A very hardworking and promising young man," she advertised eloquently while her idle hands gracefully located her purse to show a modest portrait of her son.

Li Yue's lips curled in a contented smile when Grandma Fa's eyes widened in astonishment, captivated at the likeness of a handsome young man with perfect posture, sharp facial features and firmly toned muscles.

  
Realizing victory was within her reach; Li Yue went to insinuate further."He is twenty-four years old," she took the liberty to add extra information," and his name is Li Shang."

Lowering her voice to a conspiratory whisper, as if she didn't want anyone to know, "I am sure he would love to come and stay for dinner," she added, closing her offer with an accommodating smile.

By then the spark of interest in Grandma Fa's eyes had turned into a blazing inferno.

  
_I am sure I want him to stay forever._ Grandma Fa replied in her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: In this chapter, I emphasized how Grandma Fa used to be an adventurous, brave and slightly rebellious girl. After seeing the movie, since General Fa Zhou and his wife appeared to be quite placid, I would imagine that Mulan got her assertive trait and spark of creativity from her Grandmother.
> 
> I know in the movie, little was said about Li Shang's mother. In my fic, I portrayed her as a sweet talker, patronizing and sniveling lady who indulge herself in a juicy gossip. I think it would be an interesting mix to have Mulan against a typical snappish, dictatorial mother-in-law in later chapter.


	2. The Promise of Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks to WindSongEnchantment (FF, author of Love or Law) for her beta :-)
> 
> This is a filler chapter, I had to admit it's a little boring. I promise chapter 3 will be a lot more exciting. Meanwhile, enjoy!

Silence is the perfect herald of joy - Shakespeare

* * *

 

Shang reined in his horse alongside his parent's carriage. His eyes trailed to the solitary hill where a modest house, encased within a thick wall, was sitting by the riverside. The land around it flourished with lush grassland, cascading willows, and well-cultivated flower beds; a perfect setting for China's greatest hero to spend the rest of his peaceful retirement.

"I believe that is the Venerable Fa's house, General Li," Shang heard one of the foremen told his father after methodically drawing correlations between the squiggly lines on his map with the actual landmarks in their vision.

The entourage moved closer and stopped completely just outside the archway to the Fa's residence.

"Oh gods, look at that handsome man over there!" Shang's ears accidentally picked up a hushed whisper followed by muffled feminine giggles.

"...and he is in uniform too!" Proclaimed another enthusiastic squeak. Her voice was soon drowned out by the twittering and cackling dissent among them. Shang flicked his sight briefly to them but regretted his action soon after when his eyes were greeted by a number of coquettish ladies flashing their coy smiles at him.

Feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, the young captain hid his true discomfit under his usual stoic mask and stern facade. Shang wasn't known for bashfulness, nor insecurity, but when it came to women the only weapon he could yield when he was faced with this kind of mortal enemy; one he couldn't fight off with his sword; was his unperturbed, "in command" countenance.

He hastily engrossed himself with other thoughts, averting his eyes to focus his attention on the house in front of him. After all, this was what he came here for, to get himself a bride. He wondered what she was like and whether she would be his perfect wife. Shang was very much familiar with the protocol of betrothal, especially after his father lectured him about what was to be expected of their meeting today. He was aware he might not even have a chance to see his bride-to-be until the day of the wedding itself. The thought worried him but even as he masked his apprehension behind steely fortitude, his mother could decipher how anxious the young captain really was. Through the journey, she repetitively reassured him that she and his father had selected nothing but the best woman for him. Although Shang remained skeptical, he just quietly nodded in reply.

* * *

An opulent looking carriage was parked outside the Fa residence. A few of its foremen were chatting idly while feeding their steeds, relaxing after the long journey.

Emerging from the carriage was a stocky, mature looking gentleman dressed in formal robe. He was quickly joined by another, younger, man, slightly taller than him but with equally perfect posture. He looked to have been riding beside the carriage when they first arrived for his fine robes bore the dust of travel, unlike the first man. Behind the two men was a lady, who Grandma Fa immediately recognized.

Dressed in finest hanfu, which was embroidered with colorful thread, Mrs. Li looked like a stately lady, very much unlike the day she met Grandma Fa after her accidental debacle. Even from a distance, Mulan could see the exquisite beauty of her future mother-in-law. She owned a flawless complexion, flattering curves for a woman her age, and an alluring gait as she tottered on her bound feet, careful not to step past the hem of her ruqun. It was no wonder that General Li took a real interest in such an individual with perfect appealing beauty.

Mulan quickly hid herself inside the house. Her presence was unwanted unless someone invited her.

From behind the obscurity of the paper wall, Mulan heard the older gentleman introduce himself to her mother and her grandmother as General Li Jiang, who used to served on the same battalion as her father. Her cognitive mind quickly deduced that the younger man must be Li Shang, her husband to be.

The men sat in Fa Zhou's private business room. From the slight gap between the door and its frame when it was left slightly ajar, Mulan caught a glimpse of her future husband sitting with her father, listening intently to the conversation. He was like Grandma Fa described; tall, dark and handsome. Well, Mulan couldn't exactly take in too many of his features so quickly, worried he would notice her staring at him if she lingered, but it was clear to her who Li Shang inherited his charming appearance from.

While the three men conversed in the private room, busy with the more serious, mundane business of dowry, house and wedding rites; the ladies sat around the dining table, indulging themselves in mindless conversation.

Fa Li, acting as the generous host, regaled her guests with a wonderful spread of food and selection of tea in the dining room. That was when she invited Mulan to make her dramatic entrance.

Mulan tried to glide gracefully. However, one of her feet caught the hem of her formal dress. She ended up stumbling and spilling the tea all over the floor. This was not the kind of dramatic entrance she had been planning… but it was still dramatic nonetheless.

She flushed and fumbled to recover from the ordeal only to find that her constricting outfit impeded her movement to bend low enough to pick up the mess she created. Thankfully, her mother swiftly came to her rescue. After cleaning the stain off her impeccable ruqun, Mulan took a seat next to her mother. Suddenly, the room dropped eerily quiet. Mulan curbed her desire to squirm under the perusal of her future mother in law's piercing stare.

Li Yue inclined her head towards Fa Li, "So, this is the girl that caused the catastrophe in the Matchmaker's house?" At first, Li Yue had thought Grandma Fa was exaggerating her story about the phenomenal mishap Mulan had created during her attempt to obtain a groom. But now, seeing it for herself had her believing every word.

Fa Li couldn't believe Li Yue's audacity, but she remained silent until Grandma Fa opened her mouth ready to deliver her biting reply. Fa Li cleared her throat loudly to bring the old woman back to her senses. She knew exactly what Grandma Fa's insolent mouth was capable of doing.

"You heard right, Sister Yue," Fa Li responded with her long-suffering voice," However...-"

"Mulan is capable of a lot of things other girls cannot do," said an annoyed, raspy voice. Fa Li's eyes widened when she realized her mother-in-law had still gone ahead and sabotaged the conversation despite her warning. Mortally irritated at Li Yue's prejudice, Grandma Fa bluntly administered her sharp retribution."She is excellent with a sword, literate and educated."

By then, it was clear that Shang's mother didn't share the same value and sentiment as the Fa's matriarch.

Solemnly taking a sip from her cup, Li Yue replied, her voice calm and composed,"Playing with swords is not for girls," perhaps Mulan imagined it, but she heard the faintest note of warning in her tone. "And the effect of exposing your skin to the sun is irreversible." She added.

Mulan was shocked when Li Yue suddenly snatched at her hand. Apparently, her mother-in-law-to-be saw nothing wrong with taking unheard of liberties. The woman examined the rather unkempt palm very thoroughly.

"Hmmm…." Li Yue drew a breath while her eyes prowled over Mulan's sun-kissed skin. Judging by the disgusted expression on her face, Mulan knew she strongly disapproved.

"I am sure your son will be able to appreciate a girl with a brain rather than just a perfect figure, sister Yue," Mulan heard her mother offer her opinion modestly. "Besides, we still have time before the wedding to… fix those things."

Li Yue almost snorted in skepticism, but she held her grace. Grandma Fa was close to throwing another pot of soup at her, this time voluntarily. Perhaps she even considered making Mrs. Li an ingredient.

Thankfully, Fa Li caught on to Grandma Fa's burgeoning frustration. To relieve the escalating tension and the prospect of murder, Fa Li wisely asked Grandma Fa to usher Mulan to the kitchen to brew another pot of tea. Consecutively, the male members of the group trickled in to join the two remaining ladies. Grandma Fa was quick to return to the room and, after sending a sharp glare in Li Yue's direction, she took her seat once more. Mulan was equally quick to conceal herself behind the kitchen door, determined to hear every life-altering word. Fa Li averted her gaze to the floor, pretending nothing had happened. Glacial silence fell across the room.

With all the men seemingly oblivious to the ongoing rift, the ladies turned their attention back to the main topic of their meeting. Fa Zhou gestured for General Li to speak.

"The Honorable Fa Zhou and I have come to an agreement to accept the betrothal." General Li announced in a thundering voice that hit the silence like a mighty cannon."And, with the prospect of impending war hanging over China, we must finalize all the wedding preparations immediately." He addressed his audience who listened to him raptly."Is everyone clear?"

Meanwhile, Mulan was concealing herself behind the door, taking note of every word that would alter her future.

His question was answered with a collective nod until Li Yue indicated she had something to say,"As Mulan's future mother-in-law, I would like to add a request. She will have to be trained under my tutelage and constant supervision within the final eight weeks before her marriage." the woman darted her gaze to Mulan with enough scorn to make a grown man cry. Mulan flinched at the treatment.

After digesting Li Yue's request, Grandma Fa's eyes flashed dangerously and Fa Li's breath caught in her throat. By this point, Mulan's head was swimming in raw apprehension as hundreds of voices in her head screamed various scenarios of her condemned life in the hands of her snappish, distrustful and overbearing mother-in-law.

With the aura of contempt rising in the air, even the placid Fa Li felt she needed to stand up for her daughter's rights. "Sister Yue, isn't that a little bit… -"

"Irrational and unnecessary?" Grandma Fa interjected from where she sat. Her voice was dripping with disdain. By now the opposing party was looking truly offended.

Fa Zhou cleared his throat loudly. "Ladies!" His voice of supremacy took control of the situation, successfully halting the disagreement and restoring order.

"Mrs. Li, I appreciate your gracious offer," his voice gradually mollified into more persuasive tones. He softly looked over at his wife and gave her a reassuring nod. "However, since Mulan will be staying with your family after she marries and therefore we will spend less time with her, would it be agreeable for you to stay with us in our humble abode to assist in her learning process instead of shortening our time with her?" With polite diplomacy, Fa Zhou offered a solution. His eyes glanced to General Li, asking for further consent.

Li Yue's forehead creased with a blunt frown of disagreement, but she immediately rectified it, smoothing her features into a more agreeable outlook, upon seeing her husband's subtle look of disapproval in her direction before he refocused his attention on his colleague.

"Honorable Fa Zhou, we accept your wise suggestion." General Li swiftly dipped his head signifying his approval without consulting his wife's opinion further."We are looking forward to having Mulan as a part of the Li family."

* * *

There was no peace in the Fa house even a few weeks before Mrs. Li came to stay with them. Though Fa Zhou tried to reassure his wife and his mother that Mulan was more than capable of meeting her prospective mother-in-law's expectations, it didn't assuage Fa Li's apprehension.

Fa Li directed all of her energy into accommodating Li Yue's presence. She was constantly tidying the house; inspecting minuscule flaws that could potentially displease her important guest; while Mulan tried to find distraction by helping her Grandmother, who was not nearly as spry as she pretended to be.

Mulan tried not to think too much about the upcoming days when Mrs. Li would come, solely to educate her to be the wife she deemed fit for her son. She had a feeling it would not end well. Unfortunately, she found it hard to find anything that could divert her mind off the subject.

Ever since the unwanted betrothal, to Mulan's dismay, she had to stop practising her sword fighting. Also, in line with her future in-laws' mandate, Mulan was forbidden to spend any time in the sun without a covering of some kind and she had to limit her time riding Khan. In preparation to be a bride, she had to watch her figure, constantly bath herself with fanciful fragrances and rub her body down with exotic spices. Her mother began pestering her about her looks and prohibited the cutting of her hair to better enhance her feminine look.

Mulan used to go to school with her younger brother, Fa Ping, even though she had to dress like a man to avoid unwanted attention. Her father had permitted her to explore the world of boundless knowledge which was, at the current time, only available to privileged men. From the start; inspired by her own father's exploits; Mulan was drawn to politics and battle strategy. Unfortunately, this powerful insight had to cease right after her hand was given in marriage to Li Shang. In order not to disappoint his daughter further by depriving her of the things she loved, Fa Zhou summoned a tutor to come and teach her calligraphy and painting.

Mulan wistfully thought her problems would be solved after she got herself a man. She was about to find out just how very wrong she truly was.

* * *

The day of Mrs. Li's arrival finally came. It was strange to think that in a few weeks time, Mulan would be leaving her old life; its comfort and freedom; behind.

Mulan's anxiety built up by the minute, until she caught the silhouette of her parents tending the garden together, working side by side. Her father was always perfectly responsible and composed. He was the voice of wisdom and authority in the house, while her mother balanced his personality with her sensitivity and gentleness. Together they worked seamlessly building their home.

After five long years of marriage, Fa Li had given birth to a daughter. Mulan was a girl with astonishing positive energy, bringing joy into their household with her boundless spirit and her zest for life. But still, Mulan was not the son many Chinese families looked forward to from the strong, beautiful couple.

Grandma Fa thought that the couple's love would wither in the face of adversity and prejudice, but Fa Zhou refused to take another wife and chose to be son-less rather than hurt the love of his life. The trial, instead, paved their relationship and expedited the growth of their love. The gods seemed to reward Fa Zhou's loyalty and steadfast support when Fa Ping, their son, arrived ten years later.

Whether it was a lucky union or a planned coincidence, her parent's successful marriage was solid proof of how a random, unknown match with no potential of compatibility, could be nurtured into true love. This somehow soothed Mulan, reminding her of the possibility of a happy, fruitful marriage, even when one had to marry a stranger.

* * *

From the garden, Fa Li stole a glance at her daughter who was expeditiously dusting the porch of the house. All along, Fa Li had known Mulan was a wild-spirited, idealist girl.

Despite all their combined effort, Fa Li was certain her daughter would never fit into the mold of the perfect bride any traditional men had in their mind. With all honesty, as a mother, she was worried Mulan would never marry for the rest of her life.

Although Mulan's boundless courage was one of the most beautiful things about her - which men in their right mind would try to appreciate a girl born with a zeal of fire in her heart and clouds of fantasy in her mind? Now the universe had bestowed her a match. Instead of feeling liberated and peaceful, Fa Li felt apprehensive that Mulan would never be the perfect wife Shang had hoped for.

* * *

The feeling of strain enveloped the Fa's dwelling as soon as Li Yue made her appearance. Seeing the chance of an antagonistic interaction between Mrs. Li and his mother, Fa Zhou wisely sent the old woman away to avoid any possibility of unnecessary bloodshed.

Mulan wasn't completely clueless when it came to feminine courtesy and respectability. She understood her womanly duty around the house, what she should or should not do. She knew how to cook, clean, diligently keep the house tidy, and attend the family laundry, so they were never short of clean, fresh clothing. But apparently, Fa Li's standard was nowhere near Li Yue's.

In her awareness that she had not much time to spend, Li Yue began preparing Mulan almost immediately. She was determined to mould Mulan into her son's perfect bride. Ever since the first bad impression Mulan had left on her the day she stumbled over her own dress, Li Yue had a fundamental doubt about Mulan's ability to become a proficient, graceful wife - who acted and conducted herself respectfully.

"Stop chewing so loudly! You were not born in a barn."

"Mulan, you are slouching!"

"Don't stare at your husband! However, he can stare at you."

"How many times do I need to remind you to redo your hair before your husband comes home?"

"You call this garment neatly ironed?"

"Oh gods, you smell like the kitchen! Don't expect Shang to cuddle you in bed if you are smelling like his dinner."

"Mulan, you need to know how to hide your tiredness in front of your husband. Here, use some makeup!"

Those lines of reproach became a regular encounter in the Fa's residence. Li Yue's lustrous, yet sharp, yell rebuked Mulan for every minuscule mistake she committed.

Mulan wrestled and struggled with the implacable heap of lessons Li Yue piled on her. Li Yue speculated that Mulan would eventually break down and give up the fight. Perhaps this would ultimately convince her husband, Li Jiang, to call off the prenuptial arrangement, or even make Fa Li realize her daughter would never be fit as anyone's wife.

Since the day of her arrival, Li Yue could see why Mulan behaved like a foolish teenager unaware of social rules and expectation. No one in the Fa household seemed to be able to tame the dark horse of the family. Fa Li was far too gentle, and Fa Zhou spoiled his daughter by giving the girl freedom to pursue her heart desire.

But what Li Yue had falsely conjectured was Mulan's reaction to her brutal teaching regime.

At first, Fa Li disagreed with Li Yue's constant chiding, however, after four weeks under the woman's merciless supervision, the results couldn't be argued with. Mulan began to get a grip on the situation. Instead of surrendering to her failures and crying in defeat, Mulan was persistent and kept up the fight. Li Yue's constant harsh criticism, belittlement, and barbarous admonitions became Mulan's motivation to strive resolutely to succeed. Li Yue was pleased with the results, and silently commended Mulan's unyielding spirit.

* * *

Just when Mulan thought the hard bit of the lesson was behind her, Li Yue had another important task for Mulan to master.

It was exactly one week before her wedding when Li Yue invited Mulan to her quarters.

"Mulan, sit down. I have something to show you," she said commandingly, her hand picked up a scroll from the pile that Mulan recognized as her dowry. Li Yue unraveled the parchment on her bed and with her index finger drew Mulan's attention to the inscription of ink marking its surface."This is a dowry painting, every exemplary Chinese wife must learn this fundamental knowledge prior to their wedding," Li Yue announced tonelessly.

Mulan felt her cheek blushed realizing the indecent content of the scroll. It was depicting an intimate lovemaking position, four of them to be precise. Next to her Li Yue coughed loudly, winning back Mulan's undivided concentration.

It was clear to Mulan that her future mother-in-law didn't just expect her to display ladylike gentility and make her husband feel at home. She also needed to excel in the much less public areas in her married life, such as pleasing him in bed or comforting him after a tiring day at work.

"I believe your mother has never properly educated you on how to please a man…. in bed." She gestured for Mulan to study the parchment."If a girl wishes to be a perfect wife, she needs to hone her bedroom skills and be prepared whenever her husband demands this of her. This is crucial to keep your marriage intact and a vital part in discouraging him from searching for comfort elsewhere."

Mulan couldn't believe she was having this conversation with her future mother-in-law. Retrospectively, Mulan admitted, just like the majority of Chinese parents, her mother was reluctant to share this kind of profane topic and had avoided it completely, now leaving her as a clueless damsel in distress merely a week before her husband required her service.

"I hardly have time to think about men," Mulan answered obstinately. In her critical mind she argued, why couldn't she be a perfect wife by just being who she was? Why couldn't she ask her husband to understand her and accept all of her personality traits and weaknesses, as she would his?

"Now you have to. You will be living with one," Li Yue stated, her expression unperturbed even though she began to feel irritated at Mulan impolite attitude. Li Yue went on to explain the detail of lovemaking procession so that Mulan knew what to expect on her wedding night. While Mulan had come to terms with her own arranged marriage, engaging in intimate rites with a stranger still repulsed her to no end, and she was hoping Shang would be reasonable when it came to this.

"Aren't all the chores I do; the cooking, the cleaning and bearing him sons; enough to suffice to make him happy and enough to abide by the social rules?" Mulan persisted, answering defensively."Why do I still need to strive to please him in bed like a whore?"

This time Li Yue had enough. Her annoyance compounded with every daring word Mulan said to defy her logic, manipulating her into abandoning the course of tradition.

"Mulan, my son is not marrying a maid nor a concubine!" she reprimanded her with a firm voice. Mulan cringed upon hearing her prospectus mother-in-law's blunt, biting reply. "As a wife, you must know your place. It's your primary duty to know how to please him, and that goes far beyond making a hospitable home and running a warm bath!"

Li Yue observed how Mulan's fearless, dazzling, dark eyes enveloped with disappointment. Her courageous posture now slumped in defeat, and the spark in her eyes disappeared upon realizing what kind of life she could expect from this marriage. She would have to trade her freedom for a life of unending servitude with no prospect of acknowledgment, respect, nor rewards. Honestly, Li Yue felt miserable to shatter her innocent dream, to tear her many fantasies of a loving marriage into the grim reality of life bound by rules and obligations.

"But how can I please him if I hardly know him?" This time there was hardly any defiance in Mulan's intonation, only a sincere curiosity, demanding answer and enlightenment from Li Yue as the more experienced party.

The brief spur of frustration which was previously evoked by Mulan's stubbornness abruptly evaporated. Li Yue looked sympathetically into her youthful countenance, relating Mulan's experience with herself in her younger days thus realizing the validity of her inquiry.

"Well…." She said, her voice softening,"All men are the same. The key to their hearts is in their belly and underneath their pants."

Mulan blinked incredulously. That was the most absurd, shallow and unanticipated explanation she had ever heard from a lady as revered as Li Yue, the wife of the esteemed General Li, especially after the sudden detour from their conversation. She was expecting her to say deep proverbs that would silence her rebellious thoughts completely.

"You don't believe me?" Mulan heard Li Yue's deriding reply."Mulan, your failure with the Matchmaker, wasn't because you are not graceful, dainty nor lacking awareness in feminine proclivity."

After spending nearly two months with Mulan, Li Yue was very much aware of Mulan's hardiness and uncompromising spirit."You were unsuccessful because you refused to fit into the mold of a typical woman befitting to marry."

Mulan sunk her head. She knew the woman was right about her. The tradition demanded a wife to be effeminate, obedient and foolish, and Mulan was anything but those. She was tomboyish, independent and stubborn. She always challenged her own boundaries, dared to try new things, and believed no defeat could ever be final. She knew she could force herself to fit the mold if she wanted to. But even when she mastered all ladylike propriety and fooled the world, she still couldn't fool her heart.

However, Mulan was no selfish daughter. She understood she lived in a time and place where she had to conceal her heart and bury her dreams. Besides, she wasn't the idealistic little girl she once was. She used to have her head above the clouds, fantasizing about the things she would achieve when she grew up. By maturing in her choice, despite the intensity of her wants, she accepted her predicament and would adhere to pleasing her family and her country's traditions.

"Mulan, obey me," Li Yue implored. "And I promise you, you will be the perfect wife my son could ever want you to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life. - Shakespeare
> 
> Laughing at your wife's mistakes can shorten your life. - Shakespeare's wife
> 
> To those of you who are interested on Chinese tradition, The dowry painting was actually a file of erotic pictures: about 8-10 pieces of art that showed different ways of having sex. They were very crude and mostly from woodblock printing because there was a large demand for them. Before the wedding, the bride's parents would often buy one or two sets of dowry paintings and put them inside the dowry. The daughter brought the dowry paintings to her husband's house and spread them on the bed on the wedding night. The newly-married couple would have sex according to the paintings.
> 
> The first record about dowry paintings appeared in the Han Dynasty (206 BC - 220 AD), and their material objects could still be found at the time of the founding of the Republic of China (1912 - 1949). Thus, we could see that dowry paintings existed for a very long time in Chinese history. (from: WomanOfChina dot cn )


	3. Life Bounded by Honor

The night before her wedding day, Mulan found herself looking into the reflection of her mother's mirror as Fa Li gently ran a comb through her silky hair. Her lips chanted some poems of blessing as a part of the wedding rites.

A few months ago Mulan's hair was brittle, rampant with split ends, and a lot shorter. Her skin was dark as peasants and her hands were calloused and rough. These past few weeks she had received an exhaustive beauty treatment, and the result definitely showed. Gazing into the mirror's reflective surface, Mulan hardly recognized the beautiful and delicate lady staring back at her.

"Mama?" Mulan saw a quiet smile grace her mother's face in their shared reflection in response to her query.

"How did you learn to love Baba?"

While love bore clear evidence in her parent's marriage, Mulan had never spared any thought on how that came about. Not until her turn was right around the corner. Her daughter's question stopped Fa Li's hand instinctively and her smile was transformed into a thoughtful frown.

"Are you worried you won't like your husband?" It was Mulan's turn to crease her forehead hearing her mother answered her with a question.

Fa Li reached to tuck a stray strand of Mulan's hair behind her ear as she leaned closer,"Time will teach you, Mulan. As your father and I went through the sea of life together, forging through tears and hurdles, plowing across hardship and challenge... friendship and trust were built, and our love began to grow." She answered sagely."It took days of serving, months of dedication, years of molding, learning to understand his character and the things that please him. Love is not about receiving, it is about giving."

Mulan sat quietly, pondering on her mother's wisdom. _It is not about receiving, love is about giving._ She repeated the words in her head.

* * *

Her hair was piled on her head, neatly secured with numerous pins and a massive headdress. She glanced at the luxurious, crimson Kua laid out on the bed, the words of the Matchmaker resonated in her head.

_You may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor!_

Her contemplative musing was interrupted when one dainty finger lingered on her cheek. "A little more face paint," Li Yue gestured to the makeup artist. Mulan stared at her other self, the Fa Mulan that she had known was opinionated, unfettered and full of life. In contrast, the unknown girl in the mirror was dainty, delicate and elegant.

_Will he be disappointed when he knows who I am?_

Unfortunately, no one could answer that question for her; it was for her to find out.

* * *

Their marriage ceremony would be modest and short. With the imminent threat from the Huns looming over China, all the wedding preparations were done in a rush. Despite the strain of time and busyness occupying most of her days, Mulan couldn't completely ignore the unavoidable reality of her unwanted marriage, a marriage that she was obliged to take part in to save her parents honor and fulfill her public duty as a woman.

The day itself came with a note of surreality surrounding it. Fa Zhou held her hand to lead her into the bridal sedan, where the unfamiliar figure of a man waited patiently for her. Mulan deposited herself on the couch opposite her future husband. Soon, their crusader headed to the Li's residence, where Mulan would spend the rest of her marriage life as his wife.

It was Mulan's first time being this close to the man she would soon be married to. She risked a quick, inquisitive glance, just to capture a silhouette of Shang through her crimson veil, sitting with his rod straight posture, his stoic expression betraying nothing. From her limited viewpoint, Mulan could see his dark, muscular frame. Very much fitting the image of the illustrious soldier her father had advertised to her. There was a certain aura of authority radiating from him. Mulan could see why this young man had been ordained as a captain at such a very young age.

After accepting Shang's hand to dismount from her bridal sedan, Mulan set foot in the Li's residence for the very first time.

The Li's residence resided on a quiet road at the outskirts of the city, a favorable distance away to reap the benefits of both the city's close convenience and the privacy of country life. It was spacious, perhaps twice or three times bigger than the Fa house. The splendid structure was supported by red pillars. Its walls were covered in painstakingly painted, extraordinarily detailed carvings alternating with jade marble tiles. The edge of the roof was gilded with silver and gold, gleaming under the perusal of the late summer sun. Servants and guards in full uniform stood readily on either side of the grand, double-door entrance. Fa Li and Mulan's brother, Fa Ping, were at the sedan as soon as it came to a halt to act as their official escorts.

In a large room, Mulan was welcomed by numerous eager faces that had been awaiting their entrance.

All their relatives gathered, waiting for the bride and groom to declare their vow in front of the family altar. Mulan paused then, to meet Shang's gaze ever so briefly through the veil. He gave her a very slight encouraging nod as if sensing her hesitation, though nothing on his face gave away even a hint of emotion. He went on to perform the ritual without bothering to look at her again, and she did the same.

His vows felt empty to her ears, to be answered with equally meaningless promises that fell from her lips.

Mulan maintained her calm and solemn composure throughout the ceremony, even though deep inside she was feeling insecure and uneasy. She might have saved her family's honor and landed a good catch in marrying a handsome captain, but her mind kept trailing off to the list of responsibilities she would now be obliged to do ―from her wifely duty, bearing him sons, to relentless subjugation for the rest of her lifetime. Mulan coaxed herself with the illusion that every woman in China eventually had to marry a complete stranger, and there was no reason why she couldn't do what other girls were capable of doing.

But the sudden reality of her situation touched Mulan's mind when all the married women ushered her into the marital chamber, leaving their male counterparts laughing and drinking downstairs. Even though Li Yue had equipped her with all the necessary bedroom knowledge to please her new husband tonight, the thought of sharing such an intimate moment with a stranger completely paralyzed her. Li Yue helped her to sit daintily on the edge of the bed, arranging her skirts attractively, while her mother left to invite the groom and the men to join them.

* * *

In front of the small audience that huddled around them to share the moment of joy, Shang lifted up her bridal veil to catch his first unrestricted view of his bride. Mulan reluctantly looked at her new husband. Beyond his intricate outfit and hidden underneath his fancy headdress, she could see a handsome soldier, a faint smile and his mysterious eyes gazing at her. His warm hands enclosed around her cold, tense fingertips. Suddenly, she felt her apprehension melt away on the gentleness of his touch. Maybe getting married to a stranger wasn't as frightening as she thought it would be.

Shang wrapped one of his arms around her waist, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead, and the crowd burst into a jubilant cheer. Mulan remained quiet, submissively curling her frame into his. Inadvertently, her eyes caught the sight of her parents, smiling in delight and shedding little tears of joy as the man of their choice gladly embraced their daughter as his wife.

Witnessing Mulan obediently submited herself, being the passive recipient of her husband's affection, Fa Li was hopeful that the match would eventually grow into love.

The guests stayed for an hour or so bantering poems and songs to help ease the tension between the newlyweds. It was close to midnight before General Li invited everyone for another round of drinks downstairs.

With all the guests leaving her, Mulan was left alone briefly with her mother and her mother in law. Fa Li told Mulan to sit down and began removing numerous intricate hair ornaments and straightening her hair, while Li Yue fetched her sleeping robe.

"Mama?" Her mother halted her expeditious hand from removing the pins from her daughter's hair.

"Do you think Shang will ever love me?" Suddenly, Fa Li's face turned rueful. Mulan immediately regretted her question. She should have known that in the context of an arranged marriage, love was the last thing that mattered, but in her churning mind she still couldn't give up the idea that one day their marriage would be based on love, trust and friendship instead of satisfying the biological call for procreation.

Briskly, Li Yue took over and helped Mulan to change into her night robe. "That will depend on you," Li Yue answered firmly. Mulan caught the slight annoyance in her voice. Fa Li backed away quietly because it was disrespectful for her to interrupt Li Yue as the groom's mother.

"Questioning your husband too much could be dangerous and inappropriate. I suggest that you just accept what we women are bound to do and serve your husband with devoted diligence." Her mother-in-law chided sharply, even as she gently patted away Mulan's formal makeup.

Fa Li made her exit soon after, and Mulan caught a note of frustration in her mother's eyes. Mulan hoped she would be able to reassure her mother the next morning, before she returned home with her father and her brother, that everything would be alright.

Li Yue rubbed spices on Mulan's skin, took a few step back to inspect, then meticulously tidied her hair into a simple bun. Meticulously, she reapplied a lighter layer of makeup; bringing out Mulan's eyes with a few subtle lines of kohl and reapplying stain to her lips to enrich the color; freshening her up after the pummeling of the day's activities. Finally satisfied that her son's wife looked nothing less than perfect, Li Yue's lips curled into a smile.

Then, she touched Mulan's chin forcing her to meet her intimidating gaze,"Please don't disappoint your husband tonight. Remember what I've taught you." She warned, however, Mulan didn't detect any malice in her mother-in-law's voice. In fact, she caught a glimpse of bitterness, as if she was sympathizing with her predicament. After Mulan nodded in absolute submission, her mother in law left her to wait for her groom.

* * *

With the time slowly creeping well beyond midnight, Shang retreated into his chamber to find his wife already waiting for him faithfully. She looked tired but seemed to be more than willing to wait for him.

Mulan immediately felt the urge to occupy herself with something, just to avoid an awkward situation with her husband. She poured her attention into tidying up the already tidy pile that was her wedding dress, jewelry, and hair accessories, but couldn't concentrate entirely, because she felt Shang's unnerving gaze scrutinizing her every move, studying her and accessing what kind of wife she really was.

Shang was not in any rush to conversate with his new wife. In comfortable silence, he observed her inquisitively, taking note of her wonderful curves and the quaint profile of her delicate face as she laboriously employed her hands to folding the Kua she wore earlier on.

"So your name is Mulan," she was startled by the deep, baritone voice behind her. Mulan whirled around, sensing that it was impolite for her not to face her husband while he was speaking to her.

"Yes," she answered briefly, unconsciously staring at Shang's features that now looked a lot more relaxed. His raven-black hair that had been tied back neatly, fell down to graze his broad, powerful shoulders. He was clad in a matching, scarlet, sleeping robe, with a deep vee, exposing a large amount of his toned chest underneath. Mulan began to realize how pleasant looking her husband really was. His attractiveness, together with all of his heroic accolades, would render any woman defenseless. Most would waltz willingly into his arms.

Her husband's expression was still unreadable, but his piercing gaze methodically drifted from her face, to her frame, to the hem of her vermillion robes. Remembering that it was completely unacceptable for her to stare so openly at him, Mulan avoided his eyes and held her breath, hoping her husband would say something that would end the uncomfortable silence.

"I heard a great deal about you from my mother," Shang said, Mulan was sure Li Yue only spoke about the negative things that she did, "I heard you are quite…"He paused to select his words,"...an unusual girl."

"I suppose that is one way of putting it. l love to sword fight and am an experienced horse rider," Mulan lowered her voice, trying not to sound like she was bragging about her skills, however, mentally she was brimming with pride over her accomplishments.

Of course, Shang had heard the accounts of her trouble-making adventures, not to mention the mayhem she created at the Matchmakers. Therefore, hearing Mulan accredit her fighting ability, Shang could not repress a mocking scoff, "Sword fight you say?" His voice laced with a mix of disdain and skepticism, shredding her pride down to pieces. Perhaps her father had raised her wrongly for failing to discern her status as a woman but, in her mind, Mulan blindly objected to Shang's baseless prejudice.

"Yes, my father has been teaching me since I was a child, he said it's a good skill to have regardless of one's gender." Mulan tried to reason her radical point of view.

"That's interesting," His reply sounded very vapid and insincere. "You should start learning to use a kitchen knife, which is much more fitting for a girl." He stated in an overbearing voice.

Mulan's heart dropped to the floor. She had been futilely hoping her husband wouldn't be like every other man who couldn't value a girl with a brain and skills to rival a man's. But apparently, her mother-in-law was right. Ultimately, men were only interested in food and sex. Appreciating a woman's independent opinions would never exist in their agenda.

"Do you realize how beautiful you are?" He complimented, gazing intently at the delicate features of her face. Her distinctive, dark eyes embellished with curling eyelashes, stared at him arrestingly. Her arched brows knotted expressively as her mind drifted in thought, and her unusual gracefulness while running her nervous fingers through her straight ebony hair. The soft glow of the candlelight reflected on her fair skin, bathing her silky cream complexion with its golden touch. Her crimson robe rested invitingly on the edge of her shoulder, revealing her bare skin and more than a hint of cleavage, taking his breath away. The robe's rich color flattered against her pale complexion, and neatly accentuated the subtle contours lying underneath. She was, by far, the most bewitching creature he had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on.

"Leave the fighting to men, Mulan." Absently, he ran his finger down her blushing, rosy cheek. Mulan jerked abruptly from the unexpected contact.

"But... my father said women are, in many ways, as capable as men." Mulan refuted in a low, strained voice. Shang could sense behind her bold statement, there was silent desperation, imploring him to accept her for who she was. Some part of him was impressed and applauded her for her courage to defy public bigotry, but Shang couldn't tolerate a housewife that acted like a man.

"Hmmm…. Is that so?" He raised his brows with mocking skepticism."No wonder you failed the matchmaker's test." Mulan looked at her husband in dismay. It hurt her, knowing the man she would share her life with didn't have any faith in her abilities.

Shang watched as a string of defenses formed on her lips. He had heard about Mulan's stubborn willfulness and her determination, although part of him appreciated his wife's fabled dexterity and was amused by her idealist mindset, he still wanted her to conform to the value of a typical aspirational marriage ― that a man and a woman were viewed differently in the eyes of society. As the leader of his household, Shang didn't wish to be labeled as a husband who couldn't educate his wife.

Shang's growing dominance provoked Mulan to challenge him. Reinforcing her courage, Mulan grabbed two wooden swords and passed one of them to Shang as she spoke,"I dare you to show me your sword skills. If you lose, you have to admit that a woman can be a master in this art, as much as any man."

Her fluent articulation and impetuous request startled him. Shang nearly burst out laughing in disbelief at Mulan's audacity, but his mind fell into a speculative stillness noticing his wife was entirely serious about her proposition.

Mulan saw Shang's jaw tighten and his fists clench hearing her insulting demand, but he still solemnly retained his composure. She knew Shang was offended by her contemptuous behavior.

"Fine," he hissed viciously, accepting her offer of confrontation. Shang's rationality rebuked him fiercely. It was their wedding night, and the bedroom was certainly no place for a show of martial arts, let alone a husband and wife's battle for superiority. But his manly arrogance told him otherwise―this strife was necessary to teach his rebellious wife a lesson in submission and make her aware of her position in his domestic establishment.

"And if you lose… you will have to obey me as your husband from now on." Shang declared, breaking the contemplative silence. A thousand warning bells clanged madly in Mulan's head, but she couldn't afford to back down, especially when it was she who challenged him first.

The tension in the room was palpable, but Mulan refused to go down without a fight.

Both of them stood in their defensive stance. Shang was the first to ensue the onslaught. The sound of wood clacking together filled the air. Thankfully the party downstairs was equally loud to mask whatever ruckus they created upstairs.

Mulan watched Shang's fluid movements as he thwarted her attack, executing his form with cool sophistication which stirred something unknown inside her, was that unbridled admiration? Shang was equally captivated upon seeing that her gentle, fragile wrist was capable of delivering dangerous cuts and devastating blows. She was a lot more agile and nimble than he thought she would be. As the fight continued, Mulan's bun came undone in the process. Raven black streams cascaded down her back like a waterfall over her fair skin. Shang was briefly mesmerized at her unique splendor, deeply bewitched by her unconscious gracefulness. He had fought with many great fighters, but he had never been challenged by a woman, let alone his own wife. Noticing that Shang had let his guard down, Mulan leaped forward in a lethal ambush, disarming him and stopping right when the tip of her wooden sword threatened Shang's jugular.

"Do you yield, Captain?" she smirked victoriously. Shang was surprised, but he quickly retaliated by grabbing her wrist and snatching her sword from her unsuspecting hand. In one swift, sure movement, he thrust the sword towards her torso for a fatal blow. Mulan was cornered and rendered helpless. With infuriating force, Shang made a final slashing motion meant to utterly defeat her, only to pull the sash of her robe with the tip of his sword, revealing her almost bare figure underneath. A winning smile spread across his face as he pointed his sword towards his half disrobed wife.

Mulan felt her breath leave her and her hands instinctively clamped down on the edges of her robe, preventing it from leaving her shoulders. She was still regulating her shaky breaths from the exertion when her mind reminded her that her husband had won.

"From now on, I won't condone with any more disrespectful behavior from you." Shang berated haughtily, putting away the swords and flashing a warning look at her. "Women are not made to fight. Understand?" Evaluating her husband's curtly given statement, Mulan felt anxiety claw up her throat.

"I… I am sorry," Her quivering lips shook as she apologized. Her vision of him blurred behind a sudden blanket of tears.

The lines of argument about how much she wished to be his equal died prematurely on her lips. She knew she deserved her husband's verbal castigation for her mutinous actions.

Although Mulan admitted her defeat, witnessing her sorrowful countenance impeded Shang from claiming his victory. He felt a sudden bite of remorse assail him. Shang hated to see her beautiful eyes shrouded with sadness.

"I guess now we are ready to enjoy our wedding night," This time his words were uttered with tenderness.

"But…I am not ready." Her shaky voice was catching him off guard.

"You _aren't_ ready?" Shang nearly exclaimed at her, his eyes narrowed intimidatingly, demanding clarification. His mind was formulating a line of accusation, wondering if this was another way his wife was trying to manipulate him.

"What do you mean you are not ready?" His lips were ready to berate her again for her lack of preparation. He would not let her throw another mindless excuse at him or attempt to sell more feminist propaganda.

"I am not ready to please you." Mulan forced the words from her throat, fearing Shang's angry retribution."I may be able to satisfy you with my body, but not with my heart." Her words pierced his soul like an arrow, decimating all his fury, tearing away all his desire to rule over her.

 _Your heart._ Shang repeated to himself. Did he ever wish to have her give all her dedication and her obedience with the wholeness of her heart? Did he ever wish this woman to do everything for him out of love and not duty? And wouldn't it be perfect if he requited the same sentiment equally? _That would be nice_ ―he thought. But there was hardly any time to cultivate love. Adhering to rites and rules must come first, because that was their duty to their parents and ancestors.

Shang made up his mind.

"You don't have to do anything. Just follow my lead," He said soothingly."And you will be my perfect bride tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A hair combing ceremony (梳頭 [sò tàuh]) is also conducted on the eve of the wedding. After showering with water infused with pomelo or pomegranate leaves, the bride and groom change into a new set of clothing and shoes. Attending female family members bless them aloud as they sit in front of an open window with the visible moon or in front of the mirror.
> 
> The four blessings are:
> 
> 一梳、梳到尾、[yàt sò sò dou méih] (with the first combing, be blessed to be together to the end,) 二梳、百年好合、[yih sò baak nìhn hóu hahp] (with the second combing, be blessed with a hundred years of harmony in marriage,) 三梳、子孫滿堂、[sàam sò jí syùn múhn tòhng] (with the third combing, be blessed with a houseful of children and grandchildren) 四梳、白發齊眉、[sei sò baahk faat chàih mèih] (with the fourth combing, be blessed with longevity)
> 
> A sweet dessert soup containing pink glutinous-rice spherical dumplings called 湯圓 tòng yùhn is served after the hair combing ceremony to wish the couple a complete and sweet marriage.


	4. A Wife's Forbidden Request

_...and you will be my perfect bride tonight._

His words of reassurance echoed in her head. Unfortunately, instead of a calming balm to her soul, his words inflicted horrifying fear. Her heart thundered in her ears. Mulan was hoping a mighty power of divine intervention would emerge from the night like a specter to deliver her from her fate.

Shang reached for her waist, fettering it within his strong arms. Mulan's body tensed as she felt his calloused hand brushing her shoulder, displacing the fabric of her robe to give him an unobstructed view. His warm lips touched on a sensitive spot around her collarbone, then behind her ears; sending shivers racing down her spine. Mulan wrestled with her desire to fidget or break free. She accepted her misfortune, like a calf being led to the slaughter. Feeling her chest tighten and choke her with fear, she closed her eyes, reminding herself of the lessons her mother-in-law taught her, but her mind struggled to find its focus.

Shang carried her to their bed and deposited her gently upon its cold, silky sheets. After a long moment, where he simply stared down at her with enough intensity to make her squirm, he left her to get undressed. Mulan, reciting what was expected of her next, began obediently removing the last piece of fabric that clung to her body even though her hands were shaking with terror and reluctance.

Behind the translucent concealment of the bed's valance, she could see her husband removing layers of his clothes, exposing dense muscular arms and thighs, rippling in perfect harmony with every unconscious movement. Under the perusal of the weak candlelight, his copper skin glowed with a captivating sheen. A couple of scattered battle scars enhanced his masculinity. His glossy hair glinted like silk threads, framing his sharp, bold features. His raven-black eyebrows accentuated his eyes and gave him a stern, serious look. Mulan found herself admiring the majestic display of his toned figure, but swiftly turned her head away in embarrassment when her husband's fingers hooked into the waistband of his pants to remove them.

Shang approached his wife to find her frigid frame facing the other way, her fingers tightly gripping the edge of the sheet that covered her own nakedness. Part of him was disappointed that Mulan didn't show any interest in pleasing him but the other part was feeling intensely guilty about forcing an innocent virgin to share an intimate passion with a man she hardly knew. While Shang understood loveless sex was common among arranged marriage's couples, as a man, he couldn't fathom the dread of sleeping with a stranger and the horror of being violated by a man, not until he witnessed how scared Mulan was.

"Mulan?" he pitched his voice to sound as gentle as possible.

"Yes?" she whispered back, but she didn't turn her head. Mulan shivered, fighting the deeply ingrained inclination to curl up and hide herself from Shang's scrutinizing gaze. His fingers reached out to her cheek, and his rough knuckles brushed it gently, inviting her to look at him. Mulan forced herself to look into his dark, fathomless eyes that were looking at her so softly.

Shang continued to study her countenance, taking note of her gently curved cheekbones, and her soft, thin lips. His stern expression eased when he saw her eyes. They were filled with dreams of chaste romance, that kind of exhilarating, true love that she often read from the sappy novels and soap operas her grandmother indulged in. Instead, she was now faced with the dreadful reality of being enslaved by a man's sordid fantasy.

It hurt him that he had to break his wife's delusion of the loving marriage she had been craving. But what else could he do? He knew he was incapable of offering her the pure, unblemished love she coveted, because he hardly knew her. How could he give his sincere love to a stranger?

Well, he could have waited until she surrendered herself willingly. But Shang vigorously shook that idea from his head; they had to consummate their marriage immediately, whether they liked it or not was hardly relevant when it came to adherence of the rites and abiding the command of cherished traditions.

Shang crawled closer and lay down next to his wife, feeling the bed curve underneath their weight. He paused right then, engulfed in a drowning wave of admiration witnessing his wife's naked splendor. Her flawless, fair skin contrasted nicely with her long, midnight hair. Her tight figure sculpted with gentle curves around her waist and adorned with a pair of exquisite breasts. She may not be the perfect exhibit of ladylike elegance and femininity, but Shang had to admit his wife was astoundingly attractive and exceedingly beautiful. Not to mention her dexterity and sword skill were exhilarating and unique.

But was this love?

No. Obviously not. Maybe attraction. Maybe lust. But definitely not love.

She felt his breath brushing her skin, spilling over her shoulder. His hand was comfortably warm in contrast to hers, but didn't help to alleviate her trepidation. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears as she felt his roving fingers travel on her midriff up to her chest, hungrily exploring his new privilege.

His parted lips brushed against hers gently, before firmly pressing in sensual surrender. The kiss was gentle, fervent and passionate, but it was lacking the element of sincerity and affection. It was the kind of kiss she never anticipated feeling―devoid of emotion, barren of love. It was a kiss that introduced an innocent maiden into the world of carnal passion and forbidden lust, a world that relished a woman as an object of pleasure. While her mind cultivated with panic and her heart shouted in despair, Mulan closed her eyes, denying all awareness of what would soon take place.

Shang placed his weight carefully on her, trapping her between his sculpted chest and the soft bed, imprisoning her hands within his. He sighed in disappointment when he found Mulan shutting her eyes tightly like a frightened child.

"Don't be afraid," Shang coaxed her in a soothing voice. He invited her to release her frigid grip that clawed into the bed.

Emerging from her own dreamlike daze, Mulan opened her eyes to meet his profound gaze.

Shang could see tears rimming the edge of her eyes, eliciting a wordless lamentation for her broken dreams under the curse of duty, bound by honor. But Mulan refused to let her tears to fall. She nodded shakily as a sign of her compliance while her pleading sight begged him for mercy, to do the act swiftly.

She knew she was a fool, for allowing her dreams to become the greatest expectation, a nonsensical hope that her first night with her husband would be filled with love, induced with passion and bathed in happiness.

"I promise I'll be gentle," he whispered again.

Mulan clutched his figure tightly, while her nervous fingers bit through the dense muscle on his back. Her body tingled with every contact of his skin and shuddered with petrifying anticipation as she felt his body press closer to her. Mulan tried to silence her conscience that was currently screaming to forbid this stranger to touch her. She looked again into his dark, hypnotizing eyes, swallowing the knot of terror and fear and seeking futile refuge from the climatic event that was about to alter her status forever.

* * *

Normally Mulan would welcome morning with a joyous tune. Despite her boring chores in the Fa house, Mulan always managed to find some sort of entertainment that would turn a mundane routine into an absolute adventure. Like feeding the chickens, for example―thanks to her grandmother's creativity gene―Mulan had invented a fast and efficient way to spread the seed by tying a holey sack full of corn together with a rod and a dangling bone on her dog's collar.

But today was different, for once, morning came with a definite feeling of dread attached to it. The bright brilliance of sunlight filtered through the slight gap of her bedroom window, and the birds serenaded sweetly, welcoming another beautiful day, but Mulan found none of this blissfulness calming. In fact, she felt that the wonderful sound of nature so completely diverged from her mood, that it only made her feel worse.

Sluggishly opening her eyes, Mulan was greeted by the alien sight of their marital bedroom. Shang must have awoken hours ago―his robe was neatly folded to the side, and his subtle masculine scent no longer filled the room. Going by how bright it was, it must have been well beyond breakfast time.

 _First day as a wife, and I'm already late._ But, Mulan consoled herself with the thought that she did well to survive the havoc and chaotic schedule these last couple of days had brought. Having a little lay in wouldn't do much harm, in fact, it was well deserved.

Slowly, she pulled herself into a stretch and ran her fingers across the smooth surface of the bedsheet. It was then that she saw the crimson stain spread across its silky threads, reminding her that Shang had taken her maidenhood and bestowed upon her a new status, that of a wife.

 _His_ wife.

The word sent a static ache of anxiety over everything, making her world feel unfocused and unreal.

Staring wide-eyed at the red canopy of their bed, Mulan let her mind evoke the vivid recollection of the passion induced moment that led to the stain on the fabric. She remembered those strong arms curling around her, trying to calm her spirit from the inevitable doom. She recalled how she had trembled and squirmed beneath him, and how her breath came in short, fearful gasps―but Shang hadn't seemed to notice her misgivings.

It was natural that she wanted to forget everything that happened that night but, to her chagrin, his searing kisses and the burning sensation of his body lingered with her long after he had gone. It was no doubt in her mind that her husband merely played his cards right to win her willingness to satisfy his call. Every affectionate gesture they shared that night had been a lie, after all.

 _And the marriage bed is supposed to be where a couple joins their souls and enjoys the blinding spell of passion no words can describe,_ she thought ruefully.

But why did his smile seem to resonate so strongly with her? Despite her mutinous act earlier, Shang did everything so gently with her. How could he forgive her after those frenzied moments? Did he draw from personal experience? Or was he just that good at lovemaking?

A loud knock on the door broke Mulan's mindless drivel. Without a word, her mother in law entered with a pot of tea and a fresh robe. Mulan hastily sat up, being sure to keep her blanket covering her bare torso, trying to compose herself and regain her sense of dignity.

A few steps into the chamber the woman stopped, as though something stalled her from coming any farther in. Mulan could feel her scrutinizing gaze roam across her figure. She hastily pulled the blanket higher around her chest to cover absolutely everything.

For a fleeting moment, their eyes met. There was an unexpected radiance of sympathy and remorse that Mulan had never seen from her before. But Li Yue was not going to admit to feeling it. Her features remained indifferent and unemotional while her hands efficiently cleared away the soiled bed sheet. Unceremoniously, she helped Mulan to cover herself with a fresh robe.

"This is to ensure conception," Li Yue announced while nonchalantly pouring the tea and offering Mulan the cup."Expect to _serve_ your husband again tonight," she commanded in the way one might instruct a soldier. Mulan just bit her lip and nodded mutely, accepting her obligation to fulfill her nuptial commitment.

Thankfully, the evil mother-in-law disappeared from the scene in exchange for her gentle, caring mother.

Fa Li didn't fail to notice how disheveled her daughter was―her make-up from the night before was smeared all over her pillow, her bun was nonexistent, the pins having been pulled out by her husband's eager hands, and her hair was all over the place as though a tornado had happened last night, not to mention the dry tears encrusted on her cheeks―Mulan must have been crying in her sleep.

"Mulan," Fa Li voice implored warily,"Are you okay?"

 _Was he rough to you? Did he...hurt you?_ She wanted to say, but the words just choked and pricked her throat.

As though Mulan could hear her thoughts, she knew the meaning behind Fa Li's woeful expression.

"No Mama, don't worry," Mulan looked down into her tea, blinking her eyes furiously to keep tears at bay. "Shang was very gentle with me."

When she found her courage, Mulan met her mother's gaze and forced a weak smile, hoping Fa Li couldn't detect the emotional battle lurking underneath. "You need not be concerned." Mulan finished reassuringly, for she couldn't bear to see her mother heartbroken or worrying incessantly over their loveless exchange.

"Oh, thank goodness. I am relieved," Fa Li replied, almost sounding like she was trying to convince herself.

"Now, shall I help you bathe? I have prepared some warm water. You need a little rejuvenating after such a long day yesterday." Mulan obediently trailed behind her mother to the designated bathroom.

After combing and neatly tying her daughter's hair into a bun, Fa Li put away her robe, but as soon as the garment left her skin, Mulan heard Fa Li's faint gasp.

A few small red marks marked Mulan's pale skin; around her neck, arms and her collarbone―silent proof of the blinding passion and lustful desire that had consumed her husband last night.

"They're just love bites," she heard her mother say, trying to sound unconcerned and casual. Suddenly Mulan felt dirty with the traces of their lovemaking session imprinted all over her body. But her mother's bone-white face caused Mulan to keep whatever unhappy thoughts she had, confined inside her head. The last thing she wanted was for her mother to fret about her well-being in the Li's house.

After Mulan bathed, ate her breakfast and went to the Li family's temple to pay her respects, it was time for her to bid her farewell to her family.

Fa Zhou encased his daughter in his strong, warm hug, Fa Ping gave his sister a parting kiss, while Fa Li and Grandma Fa tried to hold back their tears. Soon, they were on their way home, and Mulan's new life as Shang's wife officially began.

* * *

A few days later, things started to fall into a pattern. Every day, Mulan started her new routine; waking up in the morning to help Li Yue to prepare breakfast for their husbands. From the kitchen, they could hear the distant battle cries from the men who were running through their drills.

Living in the Li's household required a few adjustments for Mulan. The interaction among family members tended to be confined by formal protocol in contrast to the casual and relaxed attitude of the Fa house. There were no written rules, but occupants of the Li house all seemed to be in a consensus to not talk about personal things unnecessarily.

Despite the formality, Li Shang and General Li were close to each other. They hardly spoke about anything deep, but the glint of affection and love between them were visible from the subtle gestures they exchanged. In comparison, the two of them appeared to have respect for Li Yue, but nothing more.

Exactly two weeks after her wedding, General Li and Li Shang had to attend an important strategical meeting in Chang'an, leaving the house under the commanding hand of Li Yue. Mulan prayed to her ancestors that everything remained calm and uneventful during her husband's absence.

Trying to be the exemplary wife and earning that passage rite that would bring honor to her family, Mulan rose early the next day to do a little spring cleaning inside the room that General Li and Shang shared as their office. There was a lot of confidential, sensitive items that General Li couldn't entrust to a stranger to clean the room.

The room was spacious but lacking personification. It seemed like neither Shang nor his father were sentimental people who were into ornamentation, memorabilia or anything along that line. Amidst the barren, minimalist room, something caught Mulan's undivided attention. On General Li's writing bureau were three framed pictures. One was of General Li, perhaps in his late thirties, one of Shang, as a toddler, perched on a seat in his unsmiling posture.

 _He looks cold and grave even as a child_. Mulan noted.

And the last one was a poised, beautiful young woman.

Mulan's inquisitive eyes methodically studied her new found discovery. She certainly could draw some correlation between the General Li's younger self and Shang at the present time, even the child version of Shang appeared distantly like him. But Mulan was positive the woman in the picture wasn't Li Yue although some semblance was visible.

"Ah… you found something interesting I see," proclaimed a hoarse voice behind her, "Don't worry… I won't tell anyone." Mulan could hear the smile in her voice. She turned around to find an old woman, grinning smugly.

She said her name was Mei Lan, one of the longest serving maids in the house and the only one allowed into the General's office. The way the elderly lady smiled, teased and carried herself reminded Mulan a lot of her quirky Grandma Fa.

"As you may have gathered, that was Miss Xia, Madam Yue's sister." Mei Lan revealed, lowering her voice into a secretive whisper. "...and she was Shang's mother." Mulan gasped with unmistakable astonishment at her disclosure.

"What happened to her?" Mulan asked gingerly, voice low and filled with curiosity.

"Oh, she died long ago. Not that General Li has ever forgotten about her." The old woman nonchalantly pulled out a stash of pictures from a desk drawer. It was a picture of the same woman, in various poses, mostly portraying her doing a dance routine. Mulan could imagine how General Li was charmed by the woman's wild beauty, enthralled by her captivating smile and smitten by her flawless elegance.

"She is… very attractive," Mulan remarked with her eyes still fixated on the stash in front of her with unfeigned awe.

"Oh yes...yes. Both sisters were undoubtedly elegant, for sure. But, personality wise, Xia was very different from Yue despite them being siblings. Yue was serious, ambitious and hardworking while Xia was vivacious, full of life and carefree. It is a shame that even so long after her death, General Li can't seem to move on from his loss." Mei Lan remarked.

The additional information reiterated in Mulan's mind, turning the cogs and wheels of her critical thinking. Mei Lan's words fit well with the odd interactions between the Li family that she had witnessed. Perhaps that's why Shang was never as affectionate as one would expect from an only child to his mother.

Suddenly Mulan could sympathize with Li Yue, having to marry a man that had bestowed his heart to someone else. She could only imagine young Yue had to endure prolonged years of repressed jealousy, betrayal, and trauma. It gave her ruthless, sniveling attitude a little plausible context. Not to mention the look of genuine sympathy as she saw Mulan the night after her wedding. If a person understood how it felt to lay in bed with a stranger or to live a life with a man who was incapable of requiting her love, Li Yue would be the person.

The revelation served as a turning point for Mulan. She began to accept her mother-in-law's harsh disparages against her domestic ineptitude, generally being dismissive at her slanderous remarks.

At some point, Mulan realized the imaginary bar of expectation was astronomically high. It would take her more than a lifetime to be the perfect wife Li Yue hoped her to be, but part of her could now understand that Li Yue wasn't the not-so-nice person she initially conjectured. Quite contrary, perhaps her mother-in-law just wanted her to have a better life, being the wife well loved by her husband.

* * *

Two weeks later, an outbreak of typhoid swept through the region. A quarantine order was placed, and citizens were advised to stay at home as much as they could to prevent the disease from spreading. The Li household was no exception. Mulan had to be content spending her days confined behind the walls of her home, reading scrolls and doing embroidery to minimize social contact.

Finally, after a month of absence, both General Li and Li Shang returned home; but the prospect of meeting her husband didn't trigger any excitement in Mulan's chest, especially when she recalled his cold, stern attitude.

That night, Mulan found herself sitting around the table with the Li family in uncomfortable silence. To keep her mind busy, she focused her sight on the generous spread of food on the table as if she were having a staring contest with each dish.

"The Huns are coming, we received the report that they have breached our northern border," General Li declared solemnly, breaking the grave silence.

"There is a letter from the Emperor, requesting every man older than fourteen from each family to join the war. There is no exception," he added, casually sipping his tea.

_Every man over fourteen? Would that mean…. Father needs to go?_

Mulan kept her peace even when she was frantically shouting inside. Everyone, including the servants, gasped collectively―but Li Yue hastily dismissed them. Mulan stole a brief glance at the opposite side of the table to witness Shang suddenly becoming very interested in his tea, his expression was unreadable. The room was eerily quiet, the absence of sound was so prominent it was as though no one was breathing.

"Uhm, forgive me, General Li," Mulan addressed her father-in-law reverently, even though she wasn't sure what she was apologizing for, "My father would not need to go too, would he? He can hardly walk, let alone fight the Huns," she tried to hide the disapproving tone in her voice.

General Li brought his fist to his mouth and coughed into it before flicking his sight briefly to his son and then to his wife. Mulan suddenly regretted candidly asking such a question in front of everyone. She should have bridled her tongue and waited until she was alone with her husband to address this kind of delicate matter. Mulan felt social anxiety creep into her posture under the grilling glare of her parent's in law.

"Mulan, we don't question this kind of thing… especially at the dinner table. War is the business of men," Li Yue sputtered, for once Mulan saw her losing her composure for a fleeting moment, but the woman quickly managed to collect herself and contain her emotion.

"But ―" Mulan was about to argue, adding a palpable tension to the already perilous atmosphere brewing in the air. She had failed again to rein her lips.

Disregarding the barefaced suffering that was written all over Mulan's face, Shang interjected and glared at her, "That's enough Mulan!" he stood up, smacking his fist with such force that its movement rippled through the table clattering the dishes. His shoulders stiffened and eyes filled with prideful rage,"It's an honor for men to be able to defend their country, advocating our traditions and beliefs! I am sure your father will be proud to take his place," he paused to make sure his wife fully understood his words, "...and it's time for you to learn yours!"

Shang's sharp admonishment startled her. She could even hear his knuckles crack ominously to channel his explosive tirade. Mulan barely knew how to react. She felt insufferable pain pierce her chest, like a knife twisting there. Under the table, she gripped the fabric of her ruqun with both hands, twisting it between her fists to channel her frustration.

 _Remember a good wife is a submissive wife. Patience and obedience are their virtue._ She chanted to herself.

The rest of dinner was done in grim silence and, soon after, everyone left the table nonchalantly.

In the confinement of their bedroom, Mulan tried to contain her nerves from the despicable argument during their dinner. She suppressed the desire to question her husband's authority, to challenge her father-in-law's supremacy, and to learn her place and role as a woman and wife in the Li's household. But it was no use, the more she attempted to subdue the voice within her, the louder it got.

Now it was just the two of them, Shang seemed to be slightly more relieved despite Mulan's thorny defensiveness still lingering in his mind.

"Mulan…." he turned to her revealing a phlegmatic look, but Mulan felt his eyes drill a hole into her soul.

"It was very inappropriate to meddle with manly business." Shang went on to lecture her, but this time his voice had mollified into a conversational tone. He fought with himself, managing to conceal the anger simmering in his chest.

"But, Shang… this had something to do with my Father," she insisted, unable to control the trembling edge in her voice."Isn't it right for a daughter to be concerned?" she tried to convince him, justifying her stand.

"Concern can't help you win a war, Mulan. Sacrifice does." Shang still held his peace, but there was biting irony behind his expressionless facade.

"Shang, please, why can't you go to take my father's place. You are his son too…. Aren't you?" It wasn't a question that required an answer, she had given voice to it more to stir guilt within him than anything else, but Shang had anticipated this.

"Mulan, you promised me that you would not defy me as your husband. _This_ behavior will never bring your family the honor they deserve!" he snarled, eyebrows were drawn together, lips pulling back, and his fists clenching in his attempt to not completely lose his temper. Reminding Mulan of her promise to her parents was her husband's best tactical maneuver, it instantly stripped her of her rebellious state of mind and robbed her of her opinionated voice.

"But ―" the word sounded so small and frail. Tears stung her eyes, but Mulan wouldn't let them fall, not in front of this man who had no room for sympathy for her suffering.

"No more "but's" Mulan. You can go ahead and ask your Father. I am fairly certain―a chivalrous man like him will think it is an honor to be able to protect his country, even if it could cost him his life," annoyance radiated from his voice, but Mulan wasn't going to let her father's fate slip through her fingers just like that.

"Shang, it is not that I don't love my country, but sending my father to war would certainly kill him! He can barely walk, let alone run and fight. It would be suicide!" Mulan retaliated, tossing her head of raven black hair with as much false bravado as she could manage in the hope of making up for the quivering that still lingered in her voice. "...and I love him too much to let him voluntarily walk to his death." Sadness and pain marred her words, but her husband was too angry to notice.

"Enough!" the heat of fury built in his eyes as the word flew from his lips. It was the only word he said, but by the withering, hate-filled look he gave her, Mulan knew she had crossed the boundary.

The gravity of the situation and her husband's unwillingness to listen to her plea, crushed her hopeful soul. She felt her husband held a twisted expectation of her being a good wife and a filial daughter. Was taking care of her household, being a subservient wife and being able to fulfill his physical needs become the only measure of her character? Was being infinitely compliant, dutiful and foolish be the only way to bring honor to her family? She was just a girl who had desperately attempted to fit into the mold―but it appeared that she never would be able to, no matter how hard she tried.

Mulan stared emptily out the window of their bedroom, holding back her frustrations by watching the birds freely going about their daily business. How simple her life would be to be as free as those birds, where there was no question of social accountability, marital obligation, and filial duty.

Shang found himself unable to control the sheer volume of ugly words that had built up inside him. But he knew a large part of it was because he couldn't understand his wife. In fact, he _never_ did try to understand her―he was too busy forcefully exerting his authority, exercising his leadership and imposing his principles over her.

Suddenly, Shang regretted chiding his wife in such manner.

His sight found Mulan staring morosely out the window. When their gazes collided, she swiftly cut her eyes to the side, and that's when he realized that beneath the desperation and frustration she was heartbroken.

"Mulan…." he started, feigning empathy, the touch of his hands around her waist interrupted her idle gaze. Although Mulan enjoyed Shang's display of affection, she hardly believed her husband did it out of love.

"Can we just not talk about this?" Shang tried to get the topic off their argument. "I just came home from a tiring week, and all I want is to have a civil time with my wife." He planted a warm kiss on her forehead, "Please?"

Mulan replied to his plea with a joyless smile. She was desperate to push Shang away from her emotionally, because no matter how much he tried to make her believe he felt something for her; it wouldn't change how she felt about him. Mulan was fully aware of the consequences, but unable to stop herself. And it appeared to her….Shang knew this.

"You are certainly made for a purpose mightier than defeating those Huns," Shang declared invitingly. His eyes went around the places they hadn't been invited, and his hands slowly prowled upwards, roaming over the fabric of her clothes. His hot breath brushed her skin, leaving her completely spellbound.

"Besides, soldiers aren't sprouting from the ground just yet. Someone needs to make them…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to WindSongEnchantment who had beta-ed this story! I would love to hear what you think. I've added a little twist of the story before Shang and Mulan headed for the war. Also, let me know your opinion: should I include Mushu in this story? Or you guys feel this piece had to be more realistic, nail-biting kind of adventure instead of comedic?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Blooming in Adversity

"Besides, soldiers aren't sprouting from the ground, someone needs to make them… to raise and nurture them."

Mulan understood what her husband was insinuating, part of her was hoping that Shang would be able to appreciate her existence for more than quelling his sexual needs and answering his manly urges,"But, we just did that a few weeks ago―every day, right before you left for your mission," she argued. However, she quickly regretted her own words, remembering how her mother had often said that even a mighty warrior like her father was still a man with needs, especially after a stressful week and prolonged abstinence.

Shang didn't know whether he should laugh or cry at her naive reply. But a wave of guilt immediately assaulted him when he detected the pain hidden in her usually defiant eyes.

He could have forced her, he had a right to―after all, in Chinese households women were subject to men, she was his supplicant and he was her master. But tonight, he just didn't have the energy or the mood to confront her.  _Why can't she be submissive and obedient as other wives? Why does she have to be so opinionated? And how can I tame such a rebellious woman? How?...HOW?!_ The thought compounded more irritation within him.

Dejected and infuriated, Shang turned to leave. That was when he felt Mulan's hand on his sleeve, bringing him to a halt.

"I.. S-Shang, I am sorry." Shang looked at her, completely puzzled at her sudden change of heart, but Mulan caught the longing and desire in his eyes. It reminded her of what kind of wife she wished to be. Shy and uncertain, Mulan slid her own hands beneath the gap of his shirt in an open invitation. Her parted lips greeted him, dousing his anger and silencing his conscience.

_I shall be a good wife._ She promised wordlessly, watching her advancement kindle the heat of fire in her husband's eyes. There was no more fear; no more hesitation; and hopefully, someday, there would be love.

Mulan let him carry her to their bed and submissively obeyed as her husband removed layers of her clothes. She took the initiation to mimic his movements, indicating that she had learned a thing or two from their previous lovemaking. Her trembling hands clumsily undid his clothes, plucked its knot-buttons and sent her fingers to trace the granite muscles underneath.

Drops of golden candlelight teased her by tracing across his toned muscles, accentuating his god-chiselled chest and dressing his sun-kissed skin in a magnificent halo. His thick arms wrapped in bulging biceps flexed as they imprisoned her.

Mulan thought she would be as frightened as she was in their previous lovemaking encounter. But, to her surprise, her body began answering his call; shuddering with blind pleasure under his searing kisses and fervent touch. She couldn't comprehend her inability to control herself when she was near him. It was as though her body had a mind of its own and suddenly became traitorous. But she also noticed that her husband wasn't in a much different place.

* * *

Her name was Mei Lan, a sage looking lady in her late eighties who had been working for the Li Family since she was fifteen. She was initially hired by General Li's father, a royal dignitary, to aid his two wives, who had ten children between the both of them―all boys, with General Li being the youngest. She had been taking care of General Li since he was in a diaper, through his teen years, watching him grow into the illustrious leader he currently was.

From the outside, Mei Lan was just an average looking lady. However, her warm, bubbly and sweet talking tendency made her personality impossible to hate. She had employed her charming charisma to sniff the truth from the gossip in a household full of contradicting interests, politics and lies. And therefore, she was one of the few that knew the Li's household darkest secrets, including General's Li previous romantic affair.

Once all of his brothers married, although still living in the same compound, Mei Lan became General Li's personal attendant and the household butler. She was laborious, intelligent and resourceful. She meticulously planned the household budget, scheduled the shifts of the other servants and made sure all the General's needs for food and fresh clothing were met. They talked very little to each other, but Mei Lan could decrypt and read the General's mind so well, there was a good chance she understood him better than his mother or his wife.

Shang remembered seeing Mei Lan since his first memory began to form. Due to the nature of his work, General Li often had to leave Shang in the capable hands of various handmaids, and Mei Lan was one of them. At first, Shang thought it was odd that his own mother, Li Yue wasn't interested in him at all, but he was too young to be able to question such things.

When Shang was five, his father moved her from his large family home into a smaller house outside Chang'an. He gave Mei Lan the sole responsibility of taking care of little Shang.

For the longest time, Shang had thought the head servant had been demoted, that she'd been stuck with him as a punishment for some unforgivable blunder. Perhaps she had forgotten to polish his father's sword or served his tea cold or something along those lines.

For the first year they were together, despite the familiarity, Shang hardly talked to Mei Lan. Sometimes, when she dressed him for school or for formal dinner, their eyes would collide briefly before Shang averted his gaze, feeling intimidated and awkward. She had never forced him to open up to her, the servant would keep on talking to him even if Shang never answered or commented on whatever she said.

Shang's insecurity wasn't unreasonable. During his short five years living under the same roof together with the rest of Li clan, all of his cousins, his uncles and aunties were always staring at him with condemnatory, cold and vicious eyes and, to Shang's chagrin, Li Yue did nothing to advocate him either. They treated him as if he were the black sheep of the family, as if his presence was….  _unwanted_. Shang was relieved that his father had decided to leave that despicable place, to live on their own.

One day, when Mei Lan was dressing him for school, their eyes briefly met in the tall mirror. Normally Shang would be the first to tear his eyes away, but Mei Lan said something that impeded his intention.

" _Xiao_  Shang," She said, smiling tenderly at his reflection in the mirror,"You reminded me of your father when he was your age."

That moment Shang froze on his toes, watching a radiant smile break on her face. It was a smile filled with unmistakable affection and sincerity, so unlike many of the "smiles" that had coloured all five years of his short life.

"You know what, Dear. Eyes are the window to one's soul, where people can see your mind and intent." She said with a raspy voice, her gentle fingers tracing the distinctive feature of his sharp jawline,"You have that discipline and loyalty from your father and a benevolent heart like…. your mother. I can see that in you."

From the way the old women structured her sentence, Shang suspected Mei Lan didn't speak of Li Yue when she mentioned his mother.

It was hard not to dig deeper once Shang had bitten the little truth out of his unknown past. Mei Lan was one of the few people who knew that General Li had an affair outside of his marriage with his wife's own sister.

"It was hardly his fault," Shang recalled Mei Lan espoused."Your father already expressed his desire to marry your mother since their romance first bloomed amidst the conflict with the Turks. But the Li family felt that your mother wasn't deserving and respectable enough. She was a poised, incredibly talented dancer who lived a carefree life, caring nothing about public image, nor was she interested in the Li's political agenda. Your grandparents agreed that marrying such a woman would make the Li's a social stigma under public scrutiny." Mei Lan narrated.

Since then, Shang frequently engaged with Li Yue in small talk, which would end after Shang asked her to tell him a little more about his mother. It was not long before Shang deduced that he was an unwanted child born as a result of his father's love affair with a woman he couldn't ever marry. It all made sense―it gave the Li family's alienation and disgust towards him a context.

"Then you were born, Shang. You were one very placid baby when your father brought you home to show me," she said back then, brimming with pride that Shang found rather strange."Unfortunately, even with your birth, your grandparents still wouldn't grant your father permission to marry your mother," the old woman sighed sadly.

"There was a big dispute and disagreement. Your mother's parents felt it was the Li's responsibility to raise you, while your grandparents, refused to take you in until your father was legally married to someone ―public image was very important to them. So, in order to please the conflicting parties and conceal the scandalous affair―Yue, your mother's older sister, who was a fine, educated lady, was then given to your father to wife."

To be frank, even Shang couldn't imagine that his stern, disciplined father had fallen in love with a girl that looked like a feminine nonsense and seemed to be as delicate as a vintage heirloom. But Mei Lan insisted that love was blind, no one could control what kind of woman suited the desire of one's heart. "Love is a bright stain on vision, blotting out reasons. Don't you see how a grave and serious man like your father could be so gentle and affectionate towards you? It's because he loves you. We are shaped and fashioned by who we love… when you grow up you will understand this."

All throughout the narration, Mei Lan was taking extra precaution never to mention Shang's mother's name. She was scrupulous to give her depiction so Shang could know enough to know her and feel the connection, but would not go into the details that could provoke Shang's hatred towards the rest of his family for their ill-treatment.

It was probably for the best that Xia, Shang's biological mother, died not long after giving birth to Shang. Otherwise, Mei Lan could imagine that the young man would pursue the truth and tear his family apart to quench his curiosity of the woman he shared his blood with.

"But don't you be afraid." Mei Lan said again, watching trepidation rising in his innocent eyes when he learned of his mother's unhappy ending.

"Your story might not have a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. You are who you choose to be." Mei Lan's tender eyes gazed at him with sympathy.

After that unplanned encounter with his childhood secret, Shang was determined to prove himself harder than ever. Mei Lan was always there, although always in the background, but she was always present, reminding Shang to stand up straight, to carry himself confidently, to speak up for himself, and to maintain his manner in front of his family and dignitary.

Years rolled by. Inheriting his father's strength and his mother's poise had made Shang an excellent candidate for the Imperial Army. Before long, at the tender age of twenty-three, he was made a Captain, reporting directly to his father as the General. But of course, whatever position Li Shang had earned, inside the gates of his home, he was still the same little boy to Mei Lan.

It was the first morning since Shang and his father returned back from their one month post in Chang'an. A faint knock on the door woke the man. Shang opened his eyes to find his wife was no longer in bed. The scent of something delectable greeted his nostrils, he suspected Mulan was already in the kitchen with his mother preparing breakfast.

Shang hastily dressed himself in his bedroom robe."Please, do come in."

It was Mei Lan, the old woman's deceptively skinny hands carrying a tower of fresh clothes that was almost as tall as she was.

Without any preamble, Mei Lan asked him openly, watching the young captain in front of the mirror as he tried to make himself look a little more presentable before going down for breakfast. "Good morning Young Master Shang. Have a good rest I see," she said cordially. "I saw your new wife. She's very clever and independent for a woman."

The remark evoked a fragment of their heated argument flashing in his mind.  _You have no idea_ , but he merely shrugged.

"I saw she had a wooden sword. Is she a warrior or something?" the old woman added, bombarding the young captain with questions. Shang shook his head and chuckled in response to Mei Lan's astute remarks. He knew, his former nursemaid had a morbid snooping inclination that quite possibly had been ingrained in her blood.

"She isn't." Shang said tentatively, wondering whether or not telling the truth would spark another wave of juicy gossip."It's just… she ―"

"Ah, it's shouldn't matter actually." Mei Lan interrupted him uncaringly. The old lady looked over her shoulder before whispering loudly to him."But I see that she pleased you rather well in bed, just see how late you wake up this morning!" she leered with a mischievous, seductive grin that looked completely out of place on her wrinkly face. Shang's face turned a few shades deeper at her slanderous remark. It was no secret that Mei Lan's audacity in teasing him was almost a daily occurrence―he wondered if he would ever get used to it.

Not knowing how to retaliate, Shang only could only groan into his palms. The old lady laughed and slapped the young man's shoulder like an old friend."Look how bashful you are now! Oh,  _gods_! Shang, never in my life would I expect to see you so dramatically embarrassed over a simple comment. Especially a comment about girls. Get over it young man, she is your  _wife_!"

"She is quite a strong headed girl, very opinionated." Shang finally found his voice, causing the old woman to pause in her giggling fit. "I heard that she failed the matchmaking test. But yes, apart from that, I think Mama Yue trained her well. Although with strict supervision, she managed to cook me my favourite meal last night before we.. ―" Thankfully he managed to stop himself from revealing too much detail about his personal life.

"Before what?" Mei Lan leaned closer, making sure she didn't miss a single word, and Shang just wanted to sink into the wall and die than to continue this conversation.

"Nothing." The young captain blushed, trying to stave off his nursemaid's drilling questions that cornered his faltering resistance. He glanced shyly at the old lady who grinned smugly like a madwoman.

" _Xiao_  Shang, you are so proper. It's adorable!" a broad smile split her face.

"And you still called me 'Xiao.' I am not even small anymore," Shang scoffed, wanting the floorboard to swallow him whole. Thankfully no one else heard this mortifying conversation.

"Shang, you are a man with a tender heart," she patted Shang's hand affectionately while her eyes admired the handsome man he had become."It's just….you have had the slight misfortune of being surrounded by the wrong circumstances, and they crushed that kindness and gentleness out of you. A man doesn't live off rice and sex alone… you need a companion, and….  _love_."

Shang tugged the hilt of his sword nervously, he disliked anyone lecturing him about emotionally sensitive matters, but at least he knew Mei Lan meant well.

Mei Lan closed the door of the closet, while Shang fell silent. "The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved," Mei Lan stood up and walked towards the door,"...and that girl tries to love you, Shang. I hope someday you will learn to requite her gesture."

With that, she exited the room, leaving Shang alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Mulan struggled the whole day not to think or mention anything about their disagreement the day before. But the thought of her father's frail figure marching to war kept flashing in her mind. This morning alone, she had managed to pour Shang's tea into his bowl instead of his cup, spilt his porridge and offered him her slippers instead of his.

She knew Shang had noticed her negligence and carelessness but had decided to let it slide. Mulan was quite certain her husband knew exactly what had distracted her, but perhaps he wasn't keen to confront her and repeat the harsh conversation they had last night.

That night, even after spending hours cooking, dusting, cleaning and fulfilling her wifely duty in bed, Mulan still couldn't fall asleep. Next to her, Shang had long ago gone into slumber, snoring lightly with one of his heavy arms holding her waist. Carefully detaching herself from the warmth of her bed and her husband's clutch, she slipped away and headed to the family reading room.

With the purpose to bore herself to sleep, Mulan searched General Li's office and managed to fish out the thickest, most uninviting looking scrolls that were coated in thick layers of dust. Grappling two thick scrolls with her arms, she threw herself into a comfortable corner of the room, reading to fall asleep.

But instead of finding the content dull and uninteresting, Mulan was deeply captivated by their contents. It was General Li's war handbook titled Thirty-Six Stratagems, which meticulously depicted China's battle strategies and Master Sun's Art of War, written by a war theorist that expounded on the culmination of the epic feud between the Wu and the Chu dynasties.

She must have spent hours reading, drifting in and out of consciousness until someone called her.

"Mulan?"

The familiarity of the voice resonated within her mind and snapped it into full alert. Mulan vaguely remembered what had happened, but she found herself outside the Fa's residence, falling asleep under the blossoming plum tree. Her eyes quickly identified the source of the voice, none other than her Mother, standing by the moon gate.

"Mama… why are you here?" Mulan said, completely bewildered. She wasn't even sure why she questioned her mother's presence in her own home.

An amused smile twitched her mother's lips."Oh, Mulan. Is there anything wrong with a mother wanting to have a little chat with her daughter?"

"No, not at all," Mulan muttered lowly before sobering. Truthfully, Mulan hardly ever had small talks with her mother. Each occasion such time became available to them Fa Li would end up lecturing her, and Mulan was obliged to listen out of respect.

"Tell me about Shang," her mother requested gently after depositing herself next to her daughter.

For a fleeting moment, Mulan's mind flew off on a tangent. "Shang?" she said with a strained, subdued voice. All she recalled were a lot of unhappy thoughts. "Ugh, what… ―what do you want to know about him?" Mulan gulped as her voice cracked a little. Her mind frantically tried to form the right sentence to express her thoughts on her strict, tyrannical husband and phrase it as diplomatically as possible.

"I just want to know how much you have learned about your husband, Mulan," Fa Li tried to mollify her daughter's atypical apprehension.

Mulan sighed dejectedly. There was no point of hiding it when, clearly, her mother could read her like a book. "He is cold and distant, Mama. I feel… I feel that he has no interest in knowing me. You are lucky to have Baba."

Fa Li laughed softly, gathering the perturbed child into her arms. Her fingers fondled her daughter's hair, running her digits between the strands. "Mulan, you think your father was gentle and caring from the start?"

Mulan turned her head to meet her mother's eyes. "Was he… fierce and uncaring?"

Her mother shook her head."Your father was impassive, arrogant and a very serious man when I first met him."

"Really?" Mulan ventured, completely unconvinced."I would never have guessed!"

"He was. Well, put it this way, he was a soldier Mulan. Discipline, hardwork, and perseverance were his food. For the first year of our marriage, I did not dare speak to him. Let alone defy his orders," Fa Li chuckled as her mind drifted into the past.

"And then, what did you do?" Mulan scooted closer.

"Well… I wanted to make our marriage work. So, I learned and strived to please him. I did the things around the house for him willingly, I cooked his favourite food cheerfully, and I… ―"

"And here goes the bed business." Mulan butted in, slightly satirical this time.

"Mulan…. ―!" Fa Li gave her a knowing look.

"Sorry sorry… I am just teasing, Mama."

"It wasn't until years later that I knew your father loved me as much as I did him. Perhaps more," her mother continued, her face radiated with a brightness that could have lit up the entire universe.

"How did you find out?"

"I heard from his captain back then that he shed tears every time he received a letter from me. He also refused to take another wife despite me not giving birth to a son, he was faithful to me even through the ten years we waited until Fa Ping was born," Fa Li said with a smile that seemed permanently tattooed on her lips.

"That's awfully sweet. I think you've changed him," Mulan replied in a slightly disappointed tone. She knew how proud and obstinate her husband was; it was going to take her an entire lifetime to convince him of anything.

Her mother shook her head."No. Mulan. Your father didn't change. He just  _grew_ , turning into the man his family needed him to be," Fa Li consoled her."In due time, Shang will be just the same. Have faith. Have courage. Be patient in showing your affection and dedication. It'll bring honour to you and your family someday."

Fa Li was a long-suffering and caring woman, and Mulan knew she would never be like her mother. Fa Li was a perfect bride, a dream wife, in contrast, Mulan was everything her mother wasn't. What would people say if they knew Shang had a wife who could use a sword better than she could cook? A wife who questioned, challenged and antagonized her husband's every decision?

"I'm afraid, I don't have such courage. I am not you, Mama. You are obedient and submissive… a perfect portrayal of an exemplary wife," Mulan replied in a suppressed voice.

Fa Li smiled. She had predicted that Mulan's unyielding character would often cause friction between her daughter and her equally controlling son-in-law.

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Fa Li exhaled pensively,"You must learn to love him unconditionally." She reached for her daughter's hand, her fingers curling around Mulan's anxious palm, warm and comforting.

"Unconditionally?" Mulan echoed, meeting her mother's eyes.

"Yes, it means you care about his happiness more than your own, no matter how much pain it may bring you," Fa Li imparted her wisdom, "And when you are suffering, remember: the flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."

"I will try, Mama," Mulan promised.

"That's my brave girl," an unrestrained brilliance blossomed across Fa Li's face, "But I hope you'll still visit us from time to time despite your role as a wife. You know your Father misses you terribly."

"Ah, yes. Of course, I will. There can be many prospective grooms, but there will be only one father." Mulan giggled playfully, and leaned on her mother's shoulder, cuddling her arm affectionately. Fa Li began to hum a song from Mulan's childhood, while gently stroking her daughter's hand. Mulan closed her eyes, indulging in the rare moment of peace and tranquillity.

Suddenly a sharp knock was heard.

Mulan's eyes jolted open. She found herself on her bed, clutching the corner of the blanket to cover her clumsily worn robe, while Shang's arm lazily draped over her waist. The scrolls she read last night still sprawling uncaringly on the floor. She must have been sleep-walking or some short, Mulan mused.

Smiling just a fraction to herself through the confusing events of the fading dreamscape, Mulan rubbed her thumb against the jade pendant on her neck, a parting gift from her mother. The room was still dark, illuminated only by the fading light of the solitary candlestick as the night wore on, deep and quiet.

Mulan's eyes accidentally fell to the person she shared her bed with. There was a brief lapse in time as she watched Shang's peaceful features as he slept, staring at him indulgently. With his raven hair spread on his pillow, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted in sleep, he was irresistibly charming. Mulan felt an unwanted fervour creep into her heart, as she fought the urge to push a stray hair back from his handsome face. Even though his presence unsettled her emotions with anxiety, it appeared her body craved more of his masculinity and enjoyed the spell of his sensuous touch.

Registering a sudden disturbance, her husband began to stir, snapping Mulan from her mindless reverie. As soon as his eyes opened, the stern mask he always wore fell into place and a steely stare greeted her. Shang nonchalantly got up from the bed.

Downstairs, a distinct noise of debate could be heard. Mulan jumped from her bed, rushing to get dressed. Unfortunately for Mulan, it took slightly longer for her to look presentable, while Shang just magically slipped into his robes and rushed outside before another calling knock was heard.

Running her fingers through her hair frantically, Mulan tried to decode the vague, grim conversation downstairs. She heard her father and her mother's name mentioned a couple of time with syllables wrapped tightly around alarming utterance. After she was done washing her face and had applied a thin layer of makeup, she went down. From the entrance of the Li's house, her eyes could easily identify the silhouette of Shang, General Li, and Li Yue, conversing with two men she was very familiar with. He was Chun Yi, the Fa's neighbour, with Chun Jing, his son.

It was an unsociable hour of the morning, the mist still hanging low and the sun's golden rays barely touching the virgin sky. But, just by reading everyone's bleak and tense expressions, Mulan knew something had gone terribly wrong.

"Ah, here she is," even General Li seemed to struggle to retain his usual calm, collected composure, "Mulan, these men have some news for you," he stepped back to give Chun Yi the audience's attention.

The man stepped forward slightly. Although no words fell from his lips, from his blanched expression; with his mouth curved down at the corners; and the way he seemed to swallow a sizeable knot in his throat, Mulan knew this couldn't be good news.

"Mulan," Chun Yi began, keenly aware of Mulan's apprehension.

"Your mother is dying…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xiao: means small in Chinese, are a common appellative used by older generation to call little kids. And as far as the plot goes, on the last chapter―a few of you pointed out how ruthless and unforgiving Shang was. This is a stereotypical of Chinese men back in that time, but, as the case for Shang, I decided to give a little background chronicle of his life that 'perhaps' would explain (or forgive him?) for being such a stern, unloving husband that he was.
> 
> As for Fa Li, in the Chinese movie HUA MULAN 2009, Mulan had no mother and no grandmother, which I trade by giving Mulan a worthy lesson by her mother before her departure. (I hope no one hating me for doing this XD)
> 
> 'the flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.' - Emperor, on Mulan (Disney 1998).
> 
> Review, Fave and Follow (Kudos and Bookmarks in Ao3?) are highly appreciated! Thanks again for my wonderful beta, WindSongEnchantment, Sara.


	6. And Please Forgive Me

"What.. ―?" Mulan gasped, her hands reaching to cover her mouth in horror.

"Could you explain, Mister Chun?" Shang politely intervened. His intonation was level and calm as he took hold of Mulan's hands, trying to offer comfort.

"Fa Li is very ill. The whole Fa house has been under strict quarantine. The healer suspects another case of typhoid," the man announced glumly. On closer inspection, Chun Jing had taken Khan, Mulan's faithful steed, with him."We must go now," he said, handing Khan's reins to Mulan.

Mulan was shellshocked, until she heard Shang's voice break the grave-like silence. "I'll go with her."

* * *

Even though there were a lot of voices resonating in her head, the few hours journey to the Fa's house was consumed in tense silence. The last remnants of night slowly receded before the light of the new day while the two of them rode, cutting across the landscape on the back of their horse. As the sight of her house emerged in the distance, Mulan felt fear and apprehension claw it's way up her throat.

It was noon when they arrived. The Fa house was extraordinarily quiet, only the clucking of chickens and the occasional dog barking filled the silence. Under strict quarantine, the Fa were prohibited to appear in public and couldn't entertain any visitor unless truly necessary. Even then, to minimize contact and contain the epidemic, only Fa Zhou was allowed to attend his wife.

"Baba!" Mulan dismounted from her horse and dashed to embrace her father. Behind her, Li Shang discreetly bowed as a way of respectfully greeted his Father-in-law.

"How is Mother? Is she okay? How long has she been ill?" The train of questions just gushed out of Mulan's mouth like a river bursting its dam.

"It's not good Mulan," he admitted, averting his glistening eyes so his daughter wouldn't notice. Fa Zhou sounded entirely unaffected, but the sorrowful look that clung to his features gave him away. "Your Mother has been sick for three weeks and her condition is deteriorating quickly. I...I am sorry―I just asked Chun Yi to fetch you now. I should've… ―"

"Baba, it's okay." Mulan retorted with emphatic softness. She clasped her father's hand fervently and looked him in the eye to reaffirm her words.

"Where is Mama now? Can I see her?"

Fa Zhou glanced towards one of the closed doors before returning his attention back to his daughter. The hurt that was etched in her father's expression was very much palpable.

"Mulan," he began, the syllables was heavy and grievous. "Your Mother has been sleeping most of the time. Even when she is awake, she can barely speak. I….I have contacted quite a few healers and...and they said… ―" The words faded as powerful sobs stole his breath away.

_She doesn't have much time left,_ he wanted to say, but the words tasted more bitter than bile and more painful than a knife. He hastily spun around so Mulan couldn't see the kind of broken man he was becoming at the thought of losing his beloved.

Mulan had never seen her father this desolate before. His usually gallant posture now slumped in despondency, and his eyes were dull yet slightly red with a desperate gleam. Looking at him so distressed and dismayed made her own eyes fill with moisture.

"Baba… what are we going to do?" Mulan was the first to reinitiate the conversation, her question drenched in despair. She didn't want to ask, but she had no other choice.

The room delved into a glacial silence. Fa Zhou stole a glance at his only daughter. Truthfully, his daughter had been through a lot these last couple of months: from marrying a stranger, moving into a house filled with unfamiliar faces, and now… she had to face the bitter reality of losing her mother.

He took another long breath, there was no point in showing her his frustration at his inability to make this life easier for her.

"Nothing, Mulan. All we can do is to wait…. and _pray_ ," Fa Zhou answered, trying to sound calm and composed. But Mulan could hear a note of melancholy that she seldom heard from him. "I am sure everything will turn out fine. We have been through tough times like this before," Fa Zhou continued comfortingly, reaching for Mulan's shoulder and guiding her into the house.

"Now, why don't you get inside and take your belongings and Shang to your old bedroom. You both must be exhausted after such a long journey," Fa Zhou advised. As they walked through the corridor, the only words that echoed in Mulan's head were the last wisdom her mother had imparted to her:

_...And when you are suffering, remember: the flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all._

* * *

"Mulan! Thank goodness you are here!"

Mulan turned around in the direction of the raspy, familiar voice. She had just finished helping Shang transport the last of their belongings into her old room, which had been redecorated and refurbished to fit a small double bed.

"Grandma!" She threw her arms around her grandmother's deceptively frail frame and brought the old woman into an earnest hug. The two of them stayed that way for a long while.

"Where is Shang?" The old woman craned her neck to look behind her, seeking a glimpse of the young captain.

"He is outside, taking care of the horse," Mulan replied. It was then Mulan noticed the dark circles around her grandmother's eyes and the streaks of dried tears on her wrinkled cheeks.

"Grandma, are you okay?" Mulan asked tentatively. The question sounded meaningless, foolish even. Of course, Mulan knew the answer. Despite herself, Grandma Fa offered her a faint smile, but it soon evaporated into a thoughtful frown. "It's not good Mulan, your Mother… ―"

"I know, Grandma," Mulan commented, trying to equate her smile to ease her Grandma's worried features. "How is…. Baba coping with _this_?"

"You know your Father won't show his true feelings in front of others. He suppresses them, so none of us worry," explained Grandma Fa, shaking her head over her son's stubbornness.

"That does sound very much like him, doesn't it?" Mulan remarked, remembering through the length of the Fa's history how her Father had always been the paragon of self-control, discipline, and temperance. He always kept his emotions in check and was level-headed even in the most dreadful of times.

"Indeed. But I think he feels rather guilty as well," the old woman mentioned ruefully.

"Guilty?" Mulan's brows climbed to her hairline.

"About a month ago a letter arrived here. Until today I wasn't sure as to the content; your Father was very secretive about it. I believe your Mother read it―with or without your Father's permission. The next thing I knew, they ended up in a big fight," Grandma Fa explained. Of course, the heated argument wasn't exactly the cause of Fa Li's illness. But now that it was ending this way, Fa Zhou was undeniably blaming himself.

Mulan became thoughtful. Her Father's inclination to keep away some secret or another was not news to her. It wasn't that he was a deceitful, conniving or disloyal man that hid some scandalous affair and was trying to cover his tracks. Normally, her Father didn't furnish all the exposition to his family if he felt doing so would only worry them or because of the confidential nature of the information as requested by Imperial order.

But then again, her parents hardly argued, let alone fought. It must be a serious matter to kindle her mother's anger―Fa Li was always known for her patience, long-suffering and obedience.

"I'll see whether I can speak to him about it, Grandma," Mulan promised.

That night, as her Father was predominantly occupied tending to her ill mother, Mulan took the opportunity to snoop a little, hoping to find evidence of the letter Grandma Fa had mentioned. It wasn't hard at all, after all these years living under the same roof with her Father, Mulan could guess at a few places he was likely to store his important correspondence.

As she went through her Father's drawers, she found an important looking scroll bearing the seal of the Emperor himself. Carefully, Mulan unraveled the parchment, scanning across the bottom of it to see the credentials of the Son of Man.

Mulan felt breathless as her eyes reiterated the line of requests in that letter. The statement seemed to be dictated personally from the Emperor, filled with a note of great urgency. She should have seen this coming―General Li and Shang already discussed the matter before. Nonetheless, reading the exact phrase and not having it delivered by someone else's mouth, gave her a better idea of the rawness of the situation.

The letter stated that the Huns had penetrated China's defensive wall and were moving towards Chang'an in no time. Despite the combined efforts of the Imperial Army and various regional regiments, the Huns remained undeterred and aggressively moving forward. When the country is on the brink of extinction, it's the duty of every able-bodied man to defend their country.

* * *

Shang had decided to remain incognito and distanced himself from intervening with the Fa family situation. He spent most of his time in the confinement of Mulan's old bedroom, reading Fa Zhou's collection of battle strategies or the stash of philosophical quotations and wartime poems. Occasionally, he would spot Grandma Fa in the kitchen, catch a glimpse of Mulan's shy younger brother, Fa Ping, or bump into Ling, the part-time maid that had been employed since Fa Li fell ill.

However, Shang almost never saw Fa Zhou―presumably because he was busy nursing his bedridden wife, except for one night when he spotted the retired strategist embroiled in a deep conversation with their family healer. The apprehension that creased his forehead, the fear and sadness that filled his face would be something that tattooed itself permanently into Shang's mind. He had never imagined that the charismatic and poised Fa Zhou could look so distressed and miserable. Shang was sure that seeing death and facing it with honor was not anything new to a gallant warrior like Fa Zhou, who had been involved in numerous battles, but losing someone you couldn't live without was something entirely different.

Despite his status as a son-in-law, truthfully, Shang didn't feel like he was part of the Fa family at all. Blame it on his stiff-upper-lip and unapproachable attitude, but Shang hardly knew his wife's family, with the exception of Fa Zhou's notable feats which were being chronicled by his Father, and even that was nothing personal; more like a history lesson enunciated by a mentor.

Shang watched quietly, disguising himself as a passive onlooker as the whole ordeal unfolded in front of his eyes. He tried to give the Fa family, especially Mulan, time and space to have her final reunion with her Mother.

In truth, Shang had a desire to offer his consolation, or simply say a word or two to let them know he was devastated about the whole unfortunate situation. But the idea of exchanging sentimental moments and potentially talking about his own emotions put a fear in Shang that he had never even experienced on the battlefield. Conclusively, he deduced it was best to keep a discreet separation between them, until one night he was forced to confront his fear.

Without warning, his wife entered their bedroom, nonchalantly heading towards the mountain of laundry, absorbing herself in re-folding the already neat pile as though not noticing her husband was even there.

"Oh, hi…" Shang greeted Mulan awkwardly, lacking better words to say. His eyes didn't leave the parchment in his hands, pretending to be engrossed with the mundane material that he had already read ten times over. Despite his deliberate act of ignorance, the streaks of drying tears on her cheeks caught and held his attention. He knew he had to say something to try and communicate his sympathy.

"I am… sorry… to hear about your Mother's health, Mulan," he murmured hesitantly. Regardless of his best efforts, the words sounded unconvincing and insincere.

A conflicted morass of emotion darted across her face, but Mulan just sat on the edge of the bed mutely, continuing to feign concentration on dealing with tidying their pile of clothing.

Suddenly, Mei Lan's words resonated in Shang's head: "The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved...and that girl tries to love you. I hope someday you will learn to requite her gesture."

Shang swallowed thickly; being all mushy, sentimental and open really wasn't his forte. All he knew was: as a husband, he was expected to be poised with pride and dignity, obeyed by his wife, revered by his household, respected by his colleagues and feared by his children. But for once, he desired to have a real connection with the woman he would share the rest of his life with; perhaps he could start by truly trying to sympathize with her current predicament. He had never seen Mulan so despondent before, not even when she was forced to let go of her freedom and was separated from her family to marry him.

But Shang was truly out of his depth. He wondered what it was like to have a mother―a real mother, who loved and cherished her children. He couldn't remember much about his own birth mother, and his memory of Li Yue was nothing personal nor memorable. He could only imagine how close-knit the Fa family was, testified by them sharing their sorrow together and helping each other conquer this life's challenges.

_This is your chance._ He told himself firmly _. Say something!_ His brain was racked with nonsensical sounding ideas. Anything that could make her feel better. _Anything!_

"Would you… would you like a cup of...tea? Perhaps, something warm will...help… ―?" he suggested lamely, stumbling over his own words. He was so uncertain that Mulan would even like the idea―it sounded so ridiculous even to his own ears. Truth be told, Shang didn't have a clue how to brew tea. Mulan, Mei Lan and Li Yue had always served him.

However, Mulan flicked her sight up briefly in response to her husband's absurd offer and repaid his efforts with a small, sad smile. Shang could barely see the tears standing behind her usually defiant eyes. At that moment, something unknown, something painful and unpleasant, pierced his heart.

He sighed, desperately preparing himself to perhaps embarrass himself to say this. "Look," he retorted, sounding more convincing. "I can't promise I'll fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't face them alone," he said simply.

The hurt in her eyes gradually ebbed away. That rough, thick voice, heavily accented with affection, eased the wretched thought of the grim prospect of losing someone she held so dear. Mulan dared to lift her face and met Shang's strained, hopeful eyes and the stiff, uncertain half-smile decorating his lips.

And suddenly, she felt… _safe_.

"Thank you, Shang. Tea would be lovely." And the sadness in her smile vanished, leaving only sweetness behind.

* * *

Now that Fa Li was bedridden, Fa Zhou spent the majority of his time attending to her needs―not that his wife had a long list of whims and wants.

Due to the effect of the medication, she was sleeping most of the time, only waking up for dinner and when Fa Zhou cleaned her or changed her robe.

Thus, to occupy himself during the waits, Fa Zhou would sit inside their bedroom by her bedside, watching her peaceful countenance, reading her some of her favorite stories, citing some poems or simply talking to her. It didn't bother him that his wife remained hugely unresponsive to his narration, her presence alone was meaningful enough for him.

"Zhou…"

Hearing his wife's subdued voice, Fa Zhou rushed to her side, putting down the scroll that he had been focusing on. He held her small, weak hands in his, and gave them a light squeeze.

"Li, I am here," he pronounced softly.

He saw her eyes crack open heavily, revealing its dying hue. She gave him a weak smile, feeling one gentle hand running through her hair, his other warm hand affectionately wrapped around hers.

"Oh, yes! Mulan is here. She and Shang arrived in the afternoon," he stated casually while opening the lid of the nearby bowl and letting the warm, delectable aroma float through the air. But Fa Li gestured that she wasn't in the mood to eat. Deep down, Fa Li wished to see her daughter one last time. However, considering her condition, her request would be impossible to fulfill―no one wanted to risk another soul to be wasted away by the despicable disease.

A smile was her word, instigating she was pleased with her daughter's presence.

Fa Zhou's eyes glimmered as he silently studied his dying wife―this was Fa Li, the woman that had changed his life, filled his days with simple happiness, and taught him how to be loved and to love in return. She was the woman that had tamed the most aggressive and ferocious fighter into a gentle pacifist. This was his heroine, the woman who changed the most hardcore warrior in all of China into a loving husband and father.

Both of them remained silent for a while, but their eyes spoke volumes of affection towards each other, replacing the words they couldn't utter. Fa Zhou's heart sank to the floor, his chest tightening upon realizing her time was almost up.

"I'll be a good listening husband today, Li," Fa Zhou tried to lighten the mood."You can lecture me all you like," he said, but despite his best effort, Fa Zhou couldn't withhold a note of poignancy from entering his voice.

She chuckled weakly, visibly struggling to keep her eyes open. She toiled to retain her consciousness as her brain ran to select a few last words she wanted to say.

"Zhou, I am… not going to say much," Her voice turned into a soft, faint whisper in between her struggling breaths. "But I want you to tell me… about _us_."

Fulfilling her last wish, Fa Zhou spoke of their life together from its beginning to its conclusion and everything in between. A smile was on her face at the memory of their wedding night, numerous awkward moments, clueless exchanges between the inexperienced man and his naive wife. Fa Li's smile grew an inch wider when they reminisced of their younger selves, keen to please each other and madly in love.

"You are such a perfect husband," she complimented as her husband concluded his story. "I am sorry... you have to journey through life without me," she said regretfully.

Blinking past the tears that threatened to fall, the man in front of her squeezed her hand and stared at her hopelessly. _Please. Don't say that._ He wanted to beg. Fa Zhou didn't want to accept it, but her vital signs were beginning to fade. But what kind of husband was he if he couldn't console his dying wife and give her a peaceful rest?

"I promise we all will be fine," he assured as though it was going to be an innocuous thing to tackle―even when his voice began to break. Just to think that he had to learn how to act, to move on, to fill the day without her by his side, crushed his heart to pieces. He was so used to her infectious smile, the melodic sound of her rapturous laughter, her voice of wisdom and patience and the glimpses of her rushing around the house to restore order and neatness. Fa Zhou took a few calming breath, mitigating the ongoing furore in his chest from surfacing into a display sorrow on his face.

"I love you. Fa, Li Juan," he whispered, not with the brave voice of a soldier, but with the fragile voice of a husband who was about to lose the love of his life. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me," he said, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead.

A small, faint, satisfied smile beamed on her almost frozen lips, acknowledging his deepest feeling for her.

_Zhou, I love you too.…..and please forgive me._

And pulling her last labored breath from her tortured body, her eyes peacefully drew to a close. The fire left those luminous eyes, they were closed... forever. Tears fell from the soldier's eyes, silently lamenting the loss of a friend, a soulmate. It is indeed hard to say goodbye to someone you know you can't live without.

Behind the closed door, hot torrents of anguished tears coursed down his cheeks, lamenting the departure of his beloved wife in solitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: right, that chapter 6 done! I hope no one hated me for taking out Fa Li this soon in the story. I promise that chapter 7 won't take a month to write, perhaps a week or two. The snippet for next chapter will be posted in my Tumbr: 3431jessica. Thanks again to Sara for the beta.


	7. Regardless of The Love We Bear

It took Fa Zhou a good hour before he was finally ready to face the world outside the room, breaking the most heart-wrenching news to the rest of his family. As soon as he stepped out of his quarters, his mother's empathic gaze greeted him.

"Mother…I just wanted to let you know that.. ―"

Despite having rehearsed the line a few times, the words dissolved into thin air, crumbling together with his strong fortitude and his composure.

Grandma Fa saw the insufferable pain clinging all over her son's features, the same expression of anguish which she herself was very familiar with, that she hadn't felt in years, now anchored within her son's expression. She had lost someone she held dear before, she had tasted her own tears, buried her life under her own grief.

"Zhou… I'm sorry," she said, offering her condolences."It will get easier with time. You just have to be patient, Son," she added sympathetically.

"I know, but how can I… ―" The words faded as his vocal chords cruelly forsook him. Everything felt so distant and unreal, as if it were all an illusion ―a nightmare. How could his wife leave him at the tender age of forty-one? Their daughter was just married, their son was barely a teenager, and speaking of grandchildren ―she hadn't even had a chance to dream about one.

An unspoken exchange of emotion passed between them. But Fa Zhou's stupor was only broken when he felt Grandma Fa brushing away the tears that streamed from his eyes.

"Zhou, if you love someone more than anything, then time only matters to the mind, not to the heart," she said, clasping his hand affectionately. "I know you are grieving. We all are. And I know our life will never be the same without Fa Li. But you must understand, grief can be a burden and but it can also be an anchor. You get used to the weight and how it holds you in place. Your grief is the price of love. Not many people are lucky enough to find it."

"I know, Mother," Fa Zhou finally replied, smiling bitterly before embracing his mother in an earnest hug.

* * *

Two weeks passed after Fa Li's funeral. The normality in the Fa's house had returned to some extent, despite the obvious lack of presence from the lady of the house.

After attending the funeral, which was conducted as a private family affair, Shang excused himself to immediately join his Father on the frontline. Prior to his departure, Shang had generously given his consent for Mulan to stay in the Fa's house until he returned from his duty―a proposition that Fa Zhou (and Mulan) were silently grateful for.

However, even as Mulan temporarily returned to her old life, her Father's presence on the battlefield was stated as necessary and crucial by the Emperor, much to her horror. She was quite certain her late Mother's opposition over her Father's physical inadequacy to join the war had been the source of their raw disagreement prior to her death. But, as a daughter, Mulan couldn't defy her father's wishes, as it was deemed disrespectful for her to do so.

The discussion surrounding Fa Zhou's imminent departure was done in secret, only discussed between Mulan and himself. Even Grandma Fa didn't seem to be aware that her own son had been called to join the war once again. Her Father insisted; no, demanded; that his mother should not be informed until he had already left, fearing the old woman would try to stop him or drive herself to an early grave in her stress and worry―as had seemed to happen with his wife.

Mulan felt her heart become strangled in the dilemma; imagining her father marching off to sacrifice himself, leaving a terse note to her grandmother and her brother. But knowing the chivalrous soldier that her father was, Mulan knew there was nothing to stop him―nothing but death itself.

Through the moongate, Mulan found her father sitting under the plum tree. His eyes stared into the sky, empty and hollow, watching the constellations adorn the night sky with their twinkling light. It had only been two weeks since his wife's death, but a soldier should never worry about his own personal agenda, his country and its citizens always have to come first.

Fa Zhou unsheathed the sword and began polishing it gently. Even from a distance, Mulan could see her father's fingers tremble as he traced the blade of his mighty battle companion.

"Old partner, it has been a while… I am sure you miss me," Mulan heard her father's hoarse voice say, speaking softly to his sword, his words wrapped with a strange combination of pride and sorrow. "It's time to show those Huns the Chinese nobility and strength!" He ended his sentence with a feigned, mirthful chuckle.

Mulan heard him grunt as his worn hands clutched the hilt, struggling to find the strength to carry the weight of its heavy metal edge. Mulan knew her mother was right to be worried, her father was walking to his grave if he went to join the war.

"Baba..." Mulan approached him carefully, carrying a hot pot of tea and his daily medicine."Your drink is ready."

"Thank you, Mulan," he said offhandedly, his eyes still engrossed in scrutinizing the blade in his hands, watching the reflection of the moon glinting on its glossy surface. Fa Zhou took a quick swig from his cup before drinking his medicine.

"I have some money hidden under the bed, it should be enough for Ping's schooling until he turns eighteen, and a little extra for you and your Grandma." Fa Zhou placed his cup next to him before continuing."At least you've found yourself a husband, Mulan. I have one less thing to worry about. Shang is a great warrior, he will return to you from the battle," he went on as he put his sword away. The metal clanked against its scabbard.

"Do not practice martial arts anymore," Fa Zhou appealed, "You are a wife now, and perhaps…. one day, a mother."

 _A mother?_ She couldn't even be a good wife, let alone a mother. Mulan's heart leapt to her throat and words of disagreement formed on her lips, but she could not find the courage to break her father's spirit by disobeying him.

"Someday…." Fa Zhou drawled with a long pensive breath."If you find a new star in the sky. That will be me." His intonation was thick with melancholy. "Your mother was the star of my life, my helpmeet and the place where my troubled soul found refuge. I still remember those restless nights during the war, her letters kept my spirit going and encouraged me to stay positive despite the atrocities that were happening around me."

He cast his eyes towards the sky once more."Perhaps… this is the way the gods want us to be together," a gentle smile graced his lips when he saw a twinkling speck gleaming right above him."She must be lonely up there..."

"But, Baba… ―"

Mulan's antagonistic words died on her lips when Fa Zhou turned around and looked her in the eyes.

"Mulan, you know it is every man's pride to die on the battlefield. I am telling you all of this because you are the strongest in our family, and I know I can rely on you."

"It―it can't be… ―" Mulan asserted, but her voice sounded so small. _I can't lose you._ Her heart screamed in despair. _Not after Mama left us. Fa Ping would be an orphan and Grandma Fa would be…_ ―

A tender touch on her hand stopped her mental protests, together with her eagerness to oppose her father's opinion.

Fa Zhou patted his daughter's hand gently."Remember that I love you, Mulan," he said softly. But, what was meant to console her spirit, instead broke Mulan's heart into pieces.

"But this _must_ be done regardless of the love we bear. Sacrifice is a seal of love, Mulan. A lot of people can easily say 'I love you,' but very few have the chance to prove it's true." He let out an aggrieved sigh.

"Nothing lasts forever, my precious daughter."

They spent the night outside, leafing through the memories of her childhood. The tranquil sound of the brook and the calming serenade of the crickets contradicted Mulan's somber mood. She helplessly sank on her seat, placing her head on her father's lap.

They stayed like that for a long while. Fa Zhou ran his fingers through her hair, stroking her head affectionately, while Mulan tried her best not to weep.

* * *

Mulan couldn't sleep that night. A lot was going on in her mind, tugging her heartstrings and disturbing her conscience. How could she let her old, handicapped father march into war? How could she let her brother become an orphan?

 _No._ Mulan thought resolutely. She couldn't.

But what could she do? She was only a daughter. A wife. A _woman_. A position of very little value in the predominantly male world.

Mulan sighed resignedly as she stood up, tidying her Father's desk that was filled with clutter and all sort of condolences letters that had been left unopened. She thought of tiring herself to the point of sleep.

Inadvertently, a stack of scrolls fell out of a cabinet―Mulan rebuked herself for not opening the cabinet door with more care. As she arranged the scrolls back into their place, her eyes fell onto a tatty-looking, green scroll, with intricate looking gold embellishments around its edge. Despite looking rather frayed and yellowed with age, Mulan could see that, once upon a time, it must have been an important, treasured possession of her Father's. Instantly, she stretched her hand out to satisfy her piqued curiosity.

Employing extra cautiousness, Mulan carefully pulled out the scroll.

It was her father's memoir. The first couple of lines were filled with his familiar strokes, engraved carefully, thoughtfully―pouring out his deepest sentiments and articulating his life chronicles as he began his journey as a young soldier.

Mulan dared not proceed further, knowing it would displease her Father and disrespect him to meddle with the most private of mementos that he desired to keep to himself. But Mulan couldn't help but notice the front page of the scroll, written: _the greatest pleasure in life is to do, accomplish, and to win what people say you can not do._

Suddenly a spark of a brilliant idea surfaced in her mind.

Fa-Li Mulan may be a woman, a daughter and a wife, but didn't mean that she would let people dictate what she could or couldn't do. Society may never value her opinion, nor consider her able to bear arms to defend her people and to fight for the freedom of her country. But people would allow, accept and approve of her doing _all this_ if she were a _man_!

That's it! Her heart gave a traitorous leap at the thought―she would disguise herself as a man, going in her Father's place.

Mulan smiled at the absurdity of the idea, but it wasn't all impossible. Even as a woman, she had the necessary skills, perhaps even better than some men in her village. In disparity with her retired Father, Mulan was still young and agile. If she were given the time, the place and the opportunity to learn and practice, Mulan was sure she would excel.

Marshaling all her courage and determination, she came up with a systematic plan: first to forge all the necessary documents and second to slip away in the night.

Unnoticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally all the boring details are done and dealt with! Next chapter we'll plow through the meat of the story. Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than usual. Thank you for all the fave, follow and reviews (kudos and bookmarks in Ao3), I am humbled that you all loving the story so far. If you happen to ever watch Hua Mulan (2009), this scene of Fa Zhou talking to Mulan would be familiar to you.
> 
> Snippet of the next chapter will be published at my Tumblr account 3431jessica.
> 
> Again, thanks for Sara, the author of Love and Law for the beta. :-)


	8. My Father's Armor

The designated night that Mulan had planned her escape for finally arrived. When everyone had fallen asleep, she went to visit the family temple, asking her ancestors to bless her as she ventured to do something no woman in China had ever done before. Then, she slipped into her brother's bedroom―who had been recruited to be her accomplice in her seamless deception.

"Fa Ping," she called him with a firm whisper.

" _Dajie_ , is it time?" her brother replied. Mulan nodded. "All clear, everyone is asleep."

It was either a good coincidence or a sign of bad luck, but it just so happened that Fa Zhou was away for a few days to visit their distant relative who had fallen victim to a disease similar to what had taken Fa Li. With one less person to worry about, Mulan had to act now to execute her plan seamlessly.

Fa Ping grabbed the solitary candle by the alcove to light their way. Both of them tread carefully, making their way to the storage room.

"Where is the key?" Mulan prompted. Fa Ping grinned as he produced the item in question from the depths of his pocket.

"Excellent," Mulan commended her brother's crafty work. She placed the key into the lock, and with a modest click, the storage room was opened, revealing their father's battle armor.

"Mmm… there is one piece missing," Mulan mumbled under her breath as she retrieved Fa Zhou's armor and sword.

"Ah, that must be it!" Fa Ping extended his arms and stood on tiptoe to reach his Father's helmet. "There you go." He handed it to Mulan, who gave him a smile of gratitude.

At first, she tried to where her father's robe, similar to the one she saw her husband wearing underneath his war armor. It was a little bit too large for her, but thankfully not by much. Compared to Shang's stature, her father was slender and less broad across the shoulder. The extra room worked in Mulan's favor, allowing her to hide her feminine curvature.

There was a strange feeling as she fastened the armor to fit her figure. Mulan had never been involved in a war, and being a soldier had never crossed her mind before―but being the daughter of a famous war strategist, the atrocities of war had become something very intimate and real.

Mulan had first-hand experience witnessing her Father's heroic struggle, which had earned him a few permanent marks that weaved like a tapestry on his skin. She reminisced with a strange feeling of relief, pride, and fear in her chest. She often raptly listened to her Father's stories. In between his narrations, he would point out some of his blemishes―the countless testimonies of what a courageous warrior he had been. Each scar was a sacrifice: something he had chosen to take for the sake of someone else. And through the years, the number of these chivalrous marks increased until one day his luck ran dry, and a debilitating injury had forced the outstanding war strategist to lay his sword to rest.

From her Father's exposition, Mulan had heard of countless friends and enemies rising and dying, learning how war's brutality stole many fathers, sons, and brothers from their loved ones. Despite the epic victories that Fa Zhou had won, strings of accomplishment that he had carved out of life, he had never felt proud of the enemies that he destroyed. It was obvious that the brutality of war had engraved marks on her father's soul as much as it had on his figure.

And if war's cruelty were not enough―anyone who ever looked into the glazed eyes of a soldier dying on the battlefield would consider long and hard before starting a war. How war had made use of the best warriors, like her father, to do the worst to others, was beyond comprehension―but unavoidable.

"How do I look?" Mulan said, turning to face her brother.

Fa Ping paused, scrutinizing his sister's new look. He came closer, helping Mulan to tighten the sash. "There!" A broad smile spread on Fa Ping's lips, as though admiring a rare showcase of an exquisite masterpiece. "Perfect! Just like a proper man," he grinned ecstatically.

The disguise appeared to be very convincing, especially after Mulan tucked her neatly bunned hair into the helmet _._ She could see the gleaming adoration in her young brother's eyes. She caught a glimpse of her figure donned in proper war armor. She looked nothing like her familiar self. _Excellent!_ She thought to herself with pride and contentment. _No one would have guessed._

From now on, this would be her new identity: A man, a son and a soldier.

"Now, hand me the sword," Mulan told him, commandingly. Her brother trotted to the other end of the room to fetch their Father's sword, but his fingers stiffened there and his smile dissolved at the memory of what lay ahead of them, and what an armed conflict may entail.

"Dajie," he called her, voice thick with reluctance."Are you…. Are you sure about this?" he asked, hand trembling as he carried the sword.

Mulan felt her courage dwindling, being buffeted by her brother's melancholic plea. By joining the Army, she was gaining consent to kill… and to be killed. War, really did not conclude who was right, but who was left.

Fleetingly, the glimpse of her father's frail posture and her grandmother's longing look flashed in Mulan's mind. How would they react when they knew she sneaked off to join the Army? Would they be sad? Angry? Disappointed even? She shook her head, resolutely pushing her hesitation aside. This wasn't time for petty emotions, this was time to dare and endure! This was a chance that every man would take to stand for their dignity and proof of the love they had for their country. And there was no love without sacrifice.

"Fa Ping," Mulan sighed."We've talked about this… There are no other options. I can't let Baba go. Consenting to him going is like sending him to his grave!"

"But what about you? What if you are… ―" the young boy couldn't finish his sentence. The thought of losing another person so dear to him crushed his heart in a painful grip.

Mulan wanted to lecture him with the exact same words their father told her yesterday. However, noticing beads of tears balancing on the edges of his eyes, Mulan abandoned her intention. Instead, she reached for her brother and pulled him into a hug.

"I promise I'll be back," Mulan tried to sound firm. Deep down, she knew no one could guarantee that. However, her own affirmation elated her spirit, sending a new wave of courage and determination through her. "Promise me you'll take care of Baba and Grandma in my absence." Her voice dropped along with her eyes, as she loosened up her grip.

"Never let fear decide your fate. I am always proud of you, Fa Ping."

Fa Ping felt his heart break in that instant, but instead, he put his brazen facade on, smiled firmly and nodded to her.

Her brother looked immensely proud, wiping the tears from his innocent eyes, as he watched Mulan mount up on Khan and disappear into the night.

* * *

A bright, beautiful morning cast a magic spell on the landscape, turning the foggy, cold night into a warm, promising day. The path ahead was clear and wide, flecked with dazzling sunlight split into patterns by overhanging trees. Khan neighed ecstatically, barely containing his boundless energy to gallop and cut across the terrain―just as well, given the urgency of her mission.

"Oh calm there, Boy! Just give me a second, and I'll be ready," Mulan rubbed Khan's mane affectionately before she returned to attend to her belongings and rolled her sleeping bag neatly. Another neigh was his answer, and the horse obediently waited. Her hand accidentally brushed the scroll of her father's summon and Fa Ping's birth certificate which she had conscientiously forged to make him old enough to qualify to be a soldier. Her mind fleetingly went back to Fa Ping and everyone she had left behind. In accordance with her plan, Mulan had left a note to her father, pretending that her mother-in-law wanted her presence urgently. Now, she just hoped that Fa Ping could make up some clever excuses to delay their father realizing that his war outfit, sword and summon were gone.

Her train of thought was interrupted by a sudden itch, crawling up her leg. Mulan frantically leaped, hands vigorously scratching and repelling the source of the disturbance. It was only the first night that she oddly spent alone―just her and her horse, cutting through the length of the country, against mother nature and earth's natural elements, and she was already missing her warm, comfortable bed.

 _Here goes nothing!_ Mulan willed herself to move on. Too late for any consideration or second thoughts now.

Every now and then, Mulan's hand move instinctively to her sword, feeling it's cold hilt and hard metal scabbard―from now on, this would be her company, her companion that would help her to defend herself and her life. She remembered her father telling her he never left the weapon behind; even going so far as to cradle it in his sleep and sit it next to him as he ate. He even jokingly told Mulan that his sword was closer to him than his wife in a war, because no man would fancy taking his wife into the toilet when nature called.

War. Mulan mused. She was actually heading for war.

There would be a lot of bloodsheds, plenty of killing and the risk of fatal injuries.

But even with the grim prospect of dying and the wistful fate of never returning home as a possibility, Somehow, Mulan couldn't ignore a strange exhilaration and the swell of excitement over getting into the encampment. Perhaps, one part of her equated this exercise of being a man as complete freedom from her mundane life, endless household chores and a list of nuptial demands, and the other parts was celebrating the fact that she, as a woman, had a chance to defend her country, just like her Father.

Mulan knew she was never going to be an exemplary wife, but could she became an exemplary soldier?

She reminisced, hearing her husband's commanding, borderline tyrannical, voice as he told her what he expected out of an exemplary wife: never defy his requests, nor meet him eye to eye. And then she remembered the training from her strict mother in law, Li Yue, not to make a sound when she chewed, walk slowly with elegance, speak softly and only do so when she was asked.

For once, Mulan would not need those 'ladylike' habit and could assert herself to be dominating like what was expected of a man.

Absently, she stood in front of her very few belongings, wondering what kind of outfit she should wear that would please her… ―

Mulan mentally slapped herself. It appeared, subconsciously, she had truly transformed into this kind of woman―a woman whose life centered around her husband. Mulan picked up her Father's uniform carefully, running her digits on its rough, hard wearing fabrics. She had to leave the thought of being the devoted wife that she was behind for a while, because at this time and place, there was no Fa-Li Mulan.

There was only Fa Ping.

She mounted her horse, and with one firm instruction, Khan galloped into the woods.

* * *

After spending two night sleeping rough on the road, Mulan decided she'd earned enough credit for a night with a ceiling, instead of stars, above her head. She quickly made her pick and went in to ask the receptionist for a room if it was available.

"A room for the night, Sir?" addressed the demure lady with the copious bosom from behind the counter, staring at her invitingly. In a lapse of concentration, Mulan questioned the strange way the lady was leering at her. The young woman must have been around her age, hiding half of her pretty face behind an embroidered silk fan, batting her long eyelashes while her curious eyes sized up Mulan's figure from head to toe, drinking in every detail.

"Ugh, yes… one person… please," Mulan fumbled, thankfully remembering to lower her effeminate voice to sound more masculine. She reminded herself that many women, according to her late mother, had _a thing_ for men in uniform. What was the word again? Fetish? Whatever it was, Mulan was sure she also had been afflicted―chronically, if not worse. Despite Shang's affinity to boss her around, Mulan had to admit―just a fantastical depiction of his toned figure wrapped in his captain's uniform with that crimson cape flapping behind his back―could make her weak at the knees. He was… utterly irresistible!

However, Mulan felt―as Fa Ping, unlike Shang―she was hardly heartthrob material, yet the unknown lady seemed eager to invite her to her chamber rather than offer a room in the hotel. Perhaps she underestimated the power of military armor.

"Unfortunately we only have shared rooms available," said the lady in feigned regret.

"That's ok, I'll take that," Mulan replied. Sharing or not was hardly a concern to her as long as there were no insects, criminals, or drunken men to worry about.

The lady opened her mouth, perhaps to offer another alternative, but Mulan quickly offered a few coins, insinuating that she was too exhausted even to do a little bit of harmless flirting. The lady winked as she slid the key across the counter. Thankfully, that was as far as the fooling went. Mulan wondered how horrified the lady would be if she knew she was a woman.

Scuttling towards her room with her belongings, Mulan politely knocked on the door before going inside.

The distinct smell of sweaty boots and masculine musk invaded her nostrils, and the sight of a messy room welcomed her.

"Ugh!" she gasped lowly. Perhaps this was revenge from that coquettish receptionist for ignoring her advancement, but hell―this was way over the line! What was a man doing in her bedroom?!

The large guy, possibly more than 5 feet tall, had his frame barely squeezed into the space between the top bunk and the ceiling (and Mulan briefly considered her safety in trusting the bed frame could hold such a load for the night. Just think of the mock and ridicule if everyone knew she died in the hotel and not during a battle). The man was topless, but thankfully was laying on his belly with one of his hands dangling down, mouth open, tongue lolling and a loud snore only to be expected to accompany them.

 _She better comes up with a good explanation_ , Mulan fumed. She was so focused on arranging her angry rhetoric that she didn't notice her potential roommate stir and turn his head.

" _Ni hao_ ," said the husky, sleepy voice. Mulan froze where she stood. The guy in front of her dragged his bulky figure sluggishly into a half-sitting position, managing to hit his head on the ceiling in the process and clumsily rubbed his bleary eyes.

" _Ni… ni hao_ ," Mulan responded, not knowing what else to say. After hearing Mulan's voice, the rotund man, suddenly doubting the gender of the person that had appeared completely uninvited, frantically tried to cover himself only to end up falling onto the floor. He let out an undignified yelp followed by a painful groan.

"Sorry… are you―are you okay?" She came closer and offered her hand.

With his alertness intact, the man rubbed his sore bottom, replying with a short, "Thank you," and accepted her hand. "But wait," he said, bewildered. "I don't remember… calling a… ―" he stuttered, mind floating elsewhere―wondering whether he had gotten so drunk to have requested a prostitute undeliberately. He blinked again, studying her features and then her outfit. "Oh wait, you are a soldier. But, how come your voice… ―? I mean, I don't mean to… ―"

Then it hit her, of course, this guy was her roommate! The receptionist didn't make a mistake!

"I can explain," Mulan sighed, placing her bag on the bottom bunk, and removing her helmet, letting her bound hair fall to her shoulders. Her eyes fell on the large battle armor, very similar to hers. Seemed like sharing a bedroom with another man in uniform was the perks that came with her disguise.

Just as she thought her night couldn't get more interesting, the door slammed open, and another man appeared at the door. But instead of a warm welcome, he immediately gasped loudly.

"Mu―...Mulan? What are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Ok, it's time for Mulan to get some friends. I may insert Mushu somewhere in the next chapter, but I am going to do a compromise―I am aware some of you were against me adding him, because he might destroy the 'realism' of the story. So I made an alteration on the nature of his character to accommodate this, so don't worry.
> 
> Dajie: Big sister in Mandarin.
> 
> Ni Hao: Hello in Mandarin.


	9. The Prince From Faraway Places

"I am Chien-Po," the man with the rotund belly introduced himself.

"I am Fa Ping… ―well _supposed_ to be," Mulan replied. "Fa Mulan is my real name."

"I am Ling. _Wait_! You guys know me." The skinny one gazed at his friends in turn. "Mulan and I were neighbors in her village before I moved with my parents."

"Yes, I remember you were bullied a lot," Mulan chuckled teasingly.

"Hey!" Ling protested, pouting at Mulan's betrayal.

"So, how did you meet Chien-Po?"

"Well," Ling rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "Chien-Po and I were mates in… ―"

"Chinese Orchestra," his friend finished for him.

"What? You _played_?" Mulan's brow climbed to her hairline, while her scrawny ex-neighbour blushed from head to toe. For the better part of his life, the guy was famously known for his tall, slender figure and slightly effeminate body language. It often incited profuse bullying and was the source of a lot of mocking.

"I played the gong while Ling played something more dignified―an erhu. The local temple where we lived had a few monks looking for something to do―I guess constant peace and tranquillity could be boring at times," Chien-Po offered as an explanation.

"Anyway, how come you two are here? I mean… weren't all the soldiers supposed to gather a few weeks ago?" Mulan asked.

"I have just…. become engaged, so…. ―" Chien-Po confessed shyly, his chubby cheeks blooming with happiness and pride, which Mulan found rather adorable.

"And I just recovered from typhoid," explained Ling, and that was enough to wipe any trace of a smile off Mulan's face. Her body went stiff as though she had been seized by a sudden paralysis.

"Speaking about that, I'm starving, I haven't eaten anything since noon," Ling continued, not noticing Mulan's reaction and reaching into his sack to pull out a bag of pork buns and dumplings. "Excuse me, recovering boy needs some nourishment," he went on and offered some to Chien-Po, who obviously delighted in the unexpected blessing.

"Mulan―?"

She ignored the portion of pork bun and dumpling that currently danced across her vision. "Are you ok, Mulan?" Ling repeated a touch louder.

After a few futile attempts, Ling's concerned voice broke through her brooding. The man was gesticulating animatedly to catch her attention. If this were done an hour ago, she would have burst into convulsive laughter witnessing him waving pork bun and dumpling around like a fool. Right now, her somber mood prevented her from seeing its comedic value.

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, almost curtly.

"You don't sound honest at all," Ling disagreed, looking at the now-cold dumpling in his palm. Despite feeling tired and famished, Mulan's appetite was destroyed. The bitter nostalgia of her departed mother lingered around her. Finally, after a beat of silence making sure her composure stayed intact, she spoke up. "My mother just passed away. I attended her funeral a few weeks ago," she breathed ruefully.

"Oh, I am sorry." Ling patted her shoulder offering his sympathy. "But… still, it doesn't explain why you are here, dressed in your father's gear."

"My father can no longer fight. Letting him go would be like sending him to his grave. My brother just lost his mother, I can't allow him to lose his father as well," Mulan sighed resignedly; imagining her father, who had no intention of resting with his past heroics, would be devastated and furious once he unravelled her ploy.

The room fell into profound silence. But it was clear, Mulan could sense her friends' ambivalence towards her, a combination of admiration and apprehension.

"I know you always protected me when I was bullied, Mulan. But war is not a game."

Ling's gentle but astute remark was touched a raw nerve. Mulan nearly shouted at him. Thankfully, she managed to withhold her emotions and settled with an exasperated sigh. Ling would never mean to insult her purposefully. Why couldn't she do what she wanted just because she was born with the wrong sex?

"I never said it was a game," she countered wryly, masking her sour expression. Unfortunately, Ling was much more sensitive that she thought he was.

"No, that's not what I meant… Look, you are a woman. If some of the army officers find out who you are, regardless of your excuse, they'll have you executed for misconduct."

The prospect of execution was enough to kill the strange exhilaration and the swell of excitement that filled her chest just days before. Ling was right; she would never be as free as a man. The reality was much more dreadful than she imagined it would be.

"I am aware of that. But I had to try. I can't let my father die... and my husband refused to… ―"

"Wait! You...you are _married_?" Ling nearly lost his grip on the big pork bun on his hand.

" _Ling_!" Mulan reprimanded her friend's unwarranted shock. "Are you expecting me to be a spinster?!"

The lanky man snickered, nudging Chien-Po with his elbow in fun. "You should see how she beat those boys in my village. One word. _Brutal_! I am surprised there is still a man who dared to share a bed with her," he whispered loudly. "Speaking of which… when was your wedding?"

Mulan mentally kicked herself for opening the door to conversation about Shang.

"Couple of months ago, it was a family affair, I'm sorry I couldn't invite you," Mulan tried to give a close-ended answer.

Ling waved his hand, dismissing Mulan's remorseful plea.

"And how about you, Chien-Po, have you got the date fixed yet?" Mulan attempted to switch the topic, thankfully the man in question didn't seem to mind the detour.

Chien-Po rubbed his rotund belly as though it would help him think. "Hopefully after the war."

"What if the war lasts a decade? Would Su wait for you that long?"

"She said so," Chien-Po shrugged. "She would much rather stay single than marry another man."

"I can understand her rationale. There are not many men who cook for their wives," Ling commented, elbowing Chien-Po on his ribs.

"You can cook?" Mulan turned to Chien-Po. It was considered a rare sight for men to step into the kitchen, let alone to cook.

"Uhm….." the guy rubbed his side while trying to consider his reply. His profession as a chef wasn't exactly his favourite topic of conversation. Not because he wasn't proud of what he did, but because any discussion of it invariably seemed to invite a slew of snide remark or thoughtless insinuation about his unhealthy obsession with food. It was naive to hope that Mulan hadn't concluded that from his unusually large stature, although, what was the point of hiding the truth?

"I am a chef," he admitted. To his surprise, Mulan said nothing more than an impressed stare. "So, I've tailored the menu for my wedding myself." Nevermind even when he didn't know when would it happened (or would it ever happen), the feverish anticipation was enough to spur Chien-Po to go overboard and penned down all his most notable recipe and favourite dishes that his wedding guest would savour.

"I bet you look forward to the wedding," Ling butted in. A suggestive smile twitched his lips.

Chien-Po visibly flushed at that. "Hmm…. I look forward to all sort of _things…_ " he retorted shyly.

Mulan rolled her eyes to another dimension. _Men!_

"Would you mind if…. If I ask for some household tips in the future?" Chien-Po turned to Mulan. "I want Su not just be happy, but also comfortable. It won't be easy to leave her childhood home to live in an unfamiliar house with a man."

Mulan thought his gesture was rather sweet. "Of course!"

"Thank you."

"So…" Ling bounced his questioning stare at Mulan. "I need to know this. Who is the _lucky_ guy?" he asked, leaning closer to Mulan and batting his eyes expectantly. Mulan mentally berated Ling's unyielding spirit. Why was he so insistent on finding out, anyway?

"You don't know him. He's not from the village. His father and mine used to serve the Emperor together," she replied, hoping this time Ling would stop pestering her over her husband's identity.

"Oh… bet he must be of… _good_ lineage."

Mulan snickered a little at the qualities Ling attached to her husband's persona. _Yes, perhaps he wanted to marry me and chain me to the stove._

"Isn't your husband aware of what you're doing?" Chien Po raised his concern.

"No."

"What if he finds out?" he asked again.

"He won't," Mulan said confidently. "He is already a trained soldier, part of the elite group. He won't be training with us."

* * *

The next morning, Mulan and her two friends set off for the next stretch of the journey. But before they went any further out of the town, Mulan went to hire a messenger to send her letters.

"One for my mother in law, my father and the last for my husband," she explained, responding to her friends' curious gazes as they settled in for their breakfast stop.

"Such a shame you're married, Mulan… because there is a rumour," Ling began, rubbing both of his hands together expectantly as he whispered. "The son of one of the army's generals is going to train us. I've heard he is a very handsome young man, roughly our age. I think his family name is Li."

The statement was enough to make Mulan's blood freeze, but she dismissed her unreasonable alarm instantly. There were plenty enough men around with the surname Li; surely it could mean _anyone_.

"All army officers are horrible! I hear they're spoiled rotten and only interested in those promiscuous women in the bars," sneered Chien-Po, inhaling his breakfast in one go.

"No, this guy isn't!" Ling disagreed, absently pouring tea for his friends before pouring a cup for himself. "My father was in the same regiment a few years ago, and he wasn't even interested in going to the brothels!"

"Perhaps he doesn't like women," Chien-Po quipped, and Mulan tried to conceal all her emotions and appear as stoic as possible.

"Yes, perhaps," Mulan responded, faking a voice of disinterest.

"I think I know who you're talking about," added Chien-Po. "The one that's often disparagingly called a 'Pretty Boy' due to his dashing good looks and _strong_ physique."

Mulan swallowed a rock that seemed to have lodged itself in her throat….or maybe her heart? She couldn't tell the difference, but somewhere deep in her mind, she agreed to all those qualities, imagining Shang with his magnificent raven mane, captivating eyes, angular jaw and sharp, well-defined brow, he was the perfect depiction of a prince or a knight in shining armour out of fabled legend. Despite her best effort to curb her thoughts away from her husband, the memory of him holding her on their bed, his body curling to surround hers, kept on returning like a plaguing disease.

"Are you suggesting that he might have an appetite for… ―" Mulan's brows scrunched up at her friends' antics, while inwardly she was about to yell at Ling because he was blatantly gossiping about Shang in front of his wife.

The lanky man couldn't restrain his teasing smile as he continued to deliver rice into his mouth. What was better than salacious gossip about their future captain?

"No. Well… I don't think so. I heard he just got married recently and had since become exceptionally ruthless in his training!" clarified Ling. Mulan began to wonder where her friend had received this _'distribution'_ of practically sacrilegious gossip.

"Perhaps his wife annoyed him," Chien-Po mentioned nonchalantly, snickering into his bowl of noodles.

Mulan nearly spat her tea. " _What_?" she exclaimed a notch too loud. The hulking giant cowered and wished he could hide behind the tiny piece of ceramic in his hands.

"Mulan? Are you okay?" Ling's puzzled stare was enough to bring Mulan's mind back into the realm of reality. Hell, she was even assuming this mysterious guy named Li would be the same person as the one that seduced her in bed.

"I… I'm sorry," she fumbled. "I am just… ―"

"We don't mean to insult you. I bet you are _different_ from any other wife, and _that_ is a compliment," Ling interjected, presenting a sincere smile.

How would you know...? said the voice in Mulan's head mournfully. Regardless of her acknowledgement of her loveless marriage, she sincerely hoped her friends' hypothetical scenarios and speculations were far from the truth; that her husband didn't see her as a waspish, unpleasant woman he would have to share the rest of his life with.

"Thanks Ling," Mulan paid a faint smile, only daring to meet her friend's eyes fleetingly. She knew she could fool the world, but she could never fool her heart.

The next day the sight of large makeshift tents emerged on the edge of the horizon. A few war ensign and red banners advertised their presence.

"Here we are," Ling huffed. "There is no turning back now."

"I am actually worried," admitted Chien-Po, fiddling his fingers sheepishly. "I heard, during the war, soldiers are on strict food ration." He grimaced as though even the thought of such drastic measures could cause him physical pain. Ling could only shake his head in response to Chien-Po's dietary dilemma.

"I thought you were going to say you were worried about getting killed," Mulan muttered with nonchalance, but instantly regretted her words when the rotund man's countenance fell into a crestfallen frown.

"No, I mean… surely, a _robust_ guy like you won't fall as easy prey on the battlefield. Perhaps you'll end up with some scars! Big manly scars! My father said they might help you _impress_ a girl," Mulan revised, hoping her previous unapologetic rambling would be written off soon enough.

"That's true!" Ling piped up in excitedly. "Think about Su, the girl worth fighting for," he added, injecting some positive determination."Besides, we may return all lean and muscular! Like that handsome Captain," Ling gestured his hands up and down his thin frame, subsequently bringing his arms up and flexing his non-existent biceps, showcasing the idea of the burly figure he was becoming.

Spurred by the cheerful thought and promising future, Chien-Po grinned brightly. "You are right!" Chien-Po chirped, enthusiasm returning to his stride.

 _Lucky you,_ Mulan watched the two men giggling and exchanging banter with euphoric thrill, imagining the risky wager of their life had paid off. At least both of them had a future waiting at home for them after the war, while she had to return to her life of imprisonment - living under the subjugation of her mother-in-law and husband.

But….what if she returned with visible scars or debilitating injuries like her father? Inadvertently, Li Yue's disgusted face and Shang's infuriated rebuke transpired in her mind. However, what hurt her the most was imagining her father's disappointment. It would kill her if someone unravelled her impersonation and dishonored her family name forever.

 _Perhaps death is a better option._ She brooded.

 _Be optimistic, Mulan. You are not even on the battlefront yet!_ She chided herself. _You can do this, train to be a man and a soldier and bring honor to the Fa and Li family!_ Mulan sighed pensively realizing the risk of the gamble she took. It would be a steep learning curve, but she had purposed in her heart that she wouldn't say anything was impossible before trying it.

"I think I need some tips on how to be a proper man," Mulan said under her breath, halting Ling and Chien-Po chatter.

"You have to deepen your voice," advised Ling, pacing beside her.

"Like this?" Mulan offered a lower falsetto. Ling laughed but nodded approvingly, indicating his satisfaction. "Not too low, you sounded like a man who ate too much Sichuan chicken the day before."

"And don't walk with a gait. No…..no….don't swing your hips," counseled Chien-Po, looking pointedly at Mulan's effeminate movements. "Think about marching, straight legs, straight back. _Ugh_ , that's a bit too much, you look like you have constipation. Just relax a little, loosen your knees. Now, that's right…. Very good," he congratulated and clapped encouragingly.

"Don't forget to spit," Ling added. To accentuate his point, he sucked his breath and spat into the nearby river. "See that?"

Mulan's eyes widened, both from incredulity and repulsion. The imagination of Shang doing just that all over the house wasn't particularly an attractive fantasy to have.

"You need to yawn louder…. Speak with confidence….and _forget_ whatever your mother ever told you about table manners," he said, moving forward and joining the long registration queue. "Just imagine you live in a barn! No rules!"

 _You bet._ Mulan mused sarcastically, remembering her mother in law used to scold her on how she looked like someone who was raised in a barn."Let me rephrase again, if I want to be a real man, I have to expectorate at random occasion, laugh, eat and yawn loudly and punch anyone that overstep my territory?"

"Exactly! I know you are a fast learner!" praised Ling.

"But, what about…. the toilet business?" asked Chien-Po innocently.

"What about it?" Ling eyed him with confusion. The brawny man stood up and demonstrated by pretending to undo his trousers and stood facing a nearby bush.

"Oh, _that_!" Ling rubbed his chin as though thinking hard. Two months ago, Mulan would have fallen into a giggling fit if anyone said she would be embroiled in an in-depth lavatory discussion with two men.

"It's hard to learn how to do that without owning a proper _organ…_ " sighed Ling.

"Not to mention that men in the army bathe together," quipped Chien-Po.

"Do they?" Mulan winced at that.

"Yes, but I take it since you are married, You've seen what naked men look like." Ling countered plainly.

His words evoked unfiltered images of Shang with his signature stern, stoic expression. His chiseled chest was peeking through the slight vee gap of his robe… perhaps with _nothing_ else underneath, and his fingers left an invisible imprint, a floating memory of his touch against her skin.

"That doesn't mean I would like to see other naked men!" Mulan snarled, her cheeks reddening with embarrassment. 

"I'm afraid you don't have much choice," stated Chien-Po.

The three of them talked as they joined the queue. After standing and moving at a pace close to a snail, they arrived in front of a long desk, where a few fully armed soldiers handed over their rudimentary supplies, armament and a bag of bathing equipment.

"Fa Ping?" called the raspy, high-pitched voice that reminded Mulan of the noodle stall owner in her neighborhood.

A judgemental stare greeted her. Chi Fu was his name, a scrawny looking old man with a sinister mustache, crooked teeth and a frown that appeared to be tattooed on his face. She sincerely prayed this man wasn't one of the leaders of the battalion. If Mulan had wished for an awe-inspiring leader or bold looking warrior, this guy was neither of them.

"Yes, that's me, Sir," Mulan firmly stepped forward and presented the forged birth certificate and her father's summons letter.

The man stuck his nose on the conscription, then he lifted his head and observed her closely, trying to draw correlations between Fa Zhou's imposing image and the young man's rather feminine features.

Mulan was right to have a sinking feeling about the man. Chi Fu didn't have an exactly pleasant reputation among the trainees. The air was palpable with dread as the man narrowed his eyes and scoffed incredulously when he appraised Mulan's less-than-stellar figure for a warrior, let alone that she claimed to be the son of the Honorable war strategist, Fa Zhou.

"Has your father ever trained you," he inquired without looking up, his hand busy scribbling something on his notes.

"Sword fighting, Sir," replied Mulan truthfully.

"Has he taken you into any battle before?" prodded the old man.

"No, Sir." Mulan tried to sound firm.

"No wonder," Chi-Fu sneered snidely.

Despite the colorful words that began to form in her head, Mulan tried to remain polite. She didn't want to be expelled from the regiment for misconduct just yet.

"But not to worry, Captain Li will train everyone in this battalion. He'll make a man out of you yet," the scrawny man made a wry chuckle.

"Cap... Captain Li?" she repeated in disbelief. Ok, after Ling's precious intel, she saw the prospect of them serving the same battalion. But having _him_ as the man who trained her? _Never_.

"Yes, Captain Li Shang," Chi-Fu narrowed his eyes. "You know _him_?"

Mulan's heart stopped for a second. She didn't know whether to feel apprehensive or happy at the prospect of meeting Shang―fate be damned; apparently, it was much harder to escape from him than she thought it would be. Thankfully, Mulan didn't have the luxury of meditative contemplation over petty things like that. "Soldier Ping! I can't wait for your answer until the next century!"  A rude, nasally yell broke her reverie.

"Ugh...uhm―" Mulan sobered, regretting that she had spoken her thought aloud. "No, Sir. I don't know him," she replied with a brisk shaking of her head.

The old, crotchety advisor looked unconvinced. "Really? I heard that he is your brother-in-law."

 _Gods,_ Mulan mentally facepalmed herself. How could she forget? Spending time with Ling and Chien-Po had evidently caused Mulan to let her guard down. And this Chi-Fu guy was a lot more perceptive than the average ignorant, foul-smelling soldiers that she had met so far. Mulan had to make sure she edited her cover story logically.

"Yes, but we met very briefly, Sir. My sister's wedding was done in a hurry," she finally said, being careful to tell the truth, or at least as much of the truth as she willing to divulge.

The creases on Chi-Fu's forehead deepened and his lips twisted into a distasteful scowl, but after a beat, he decided not to press the matter further. "Dismissed!" he ordered Mulan grumpily.

Joining Chien-Po and Ling, Mulan strode across the clearing towards a series of dull colored structures.

"Tent number fifteen," Ling read from his scroll. "This is ours," he announced, inviting his friends to join him inside.

The large tent was packed to the rafters with boisterous, sweaty men. Even with her hand covering her nose, she could do little to curb the stench of masculine musk intermingled with the scent of cheap alcohol. Mulan wrinkled her nose, thinking of how she had to share this tent for an unforeseeable amount of the future. The men didn't pay any attention to their arrival. Their concentration was absorbed by a curious spectacle occurring in one corner of the tent.

"I picked that spot first!" came the incensed voice of a man. He was short but stocky. The muscles of his arms rippled as he clenched his fists. In front of him, his opponent was a soldier twice as tall as he was, his muscular form wrapped in a protective shield that was literally shining under the rays of the sun, free from scratch and dents. Mulan could tell the man's armor had never seen the light of a battle yet. But her attention was drawn by a large crest of the emperor resting on the man's shoulder.

" _Shut up_!" the larger man demanded, looked very much affronted. He drove his fist to the table with so much power that the piece of furniture crumbled under his strength. "How dare you challenge me like that?!"

The stocky man's nose flared and his chest heaved, looking just as infuriated. "Just because you are nobility doesn't mean you can treat other people like dirt!" he spat with vehemence. The watching onlookers let out a synchronous gasp at the man's audacity.

"You just arrived today, and I've been here for a week!" he fumed indignantly, finger pointing to the exact point where his bedding was―currently disheveled and soiled with dirt―perhaps a result of the other's man dirty mischief.

Instead of trying to appease both conflicting parties, the crowd gave the men noises of encouragement, fueling them to fight.

"Is this what men normally do?" whispered Mulan, curiously watching the growing tension.

"Pretty much," Ling equated her whisper. "The curse of territorial creatures."

"That handsome man is the bully," Mulan remarked, brows slanted in annoyance, observing the unbalanced battle of dominion.

"Don't you recognize who he is?" came Ling's worried voice.

"No," Mulan mouthed uncaringly, her concentration devoted to the intense exchange in front of her.

"Prince of Wei… he is the Emperor's nephew!" Ling emphasized, hoping to give Mulan some logical explanation to stop whatever plan was currently brimming in her mind. But it was too late. The petite Ping had marched to the battlefront.

"Mu… ―Ping! Wait!" But Ling's frantic warning only fell on deaf ears as Mulan made a beeline into the core of the commotion.

"Is this how a respectable man behaves?" Mulan began, looking at the handsome young man with dark eyes and broad shoulders who currently gripped the much shorter man by his collar.

The prince's eyes collided with hers. For a moment his mouth fell open… and close, his hardened expression evaporated… and transformed into satirical laughter. The prince's reaction elicited a sudden fit of hysterics from his gang, and Mulan began to realize almost the entire encampment had drawn to watch the heated disagreement that threatened to break into a physical brawl.

"Well...well….a _newcomer_ wants to get a spotlight," the prince smiled with an amused expression, abandoning his grasp on his victim's collar. He clearly wasn't expecting a threat coming from someone that looked to be half of his stature.

"Who are you?" The prince scoffed in disdain as he scanned Mulan's petite frame.

"Is that relevant?" Mulan objected, hands flying to her hips showing her aversion. In the back row, Ling and Chien-Po cringed upon witnessing Mulan's hostile, yet unmanly, gesture. It didn't spell out provocation in the dictionary of a soldier who was trying to challenge his opponent, more like a mother scolding her child.

"Of course, if you knew who _I_ am… you would be speaking to me with fear and respect," the Prince said relatively calmly. The room fell silent as though putting the prince on his rightful pedestal, paying him the reverence he demanded.

"I have no respect for people who dare to bully someone smaller than them," Mulan argued.

"Are you with _this_ hopeless loser?" The young prince darted a derogatory glance at Yao and let out a disgusted scoff. "You need another weakling to defend you, how _pathetic_ ," he continued his verbal assault, pacing around Mulan like a predator stalking its prey. A smug smile graced his lips when he realized the watching crowd was beginning to take sides."I shall give you one more chance. Who are you?"

Mulan shot the prince a withering look, before replying firmly. "Fa Ping, my father is retired strategist, working for your uncle." Her answer stirred the crowd and evoked more incoherent murmurs.

" _Oh_ , dropping names are we?"

The growing ruckus eventually invited more interlopers than they intended to, because not long after that a sniveling, nasally shout from Chi-Fu was heard. "What's going on here?"

His query was immediately reciprocated by a collective groan.

"This scumbag stole the prince's spot!" claimed one burly guy with a large scar on his neck, Mulan speculated that he must be one of the prince's lackey.

The scumbag, apparently a guy named Yao, snickered furiously as the gang retreated to give Chi-Fu the central stage. Mulan glared at the prince's accomplice, how could he lie so blatantly in front of so many witnesses? To her surprise, even Yao shut his mouth not daring to verbalize any advocation.

"And this Ping guy was admonishing the prince rudely!" bristled another. Mulan's restrained emotions were unexpectedly riled.

" _What_?!" she raised her voice, incredulous and affronted. "I wasn't rude! I was.. ―"

"You shouted and were disrespectful!" rebuked one of the onlookers.

"That's because he won't listen!" Mulan shot back, refuting his claim in her attempt to defend her and Yao's position, but Chi-Fu took no notice, turning to the prince instead.

"Your Highness?" Chi-Fu addressed, flashing his skeptic glare towards Mulan, as though saying _'Credibility, you have not. Pick your enemy wisely, you fool!'_ before returning to the young nobility _._ "Is this true?" he consulted.

The prince remained mute, but his expression betrayed whatever was crossing through his mind. The prince was certainly pleased with Chi-Fu's unreasonable, mutual disdain against the regiment's latest recruit.

Mulan never thought that soldiers were capable of such vicious slander; far more than the idle gossipers one could find among the bored women in her village.

"Don't worry about it, Chi-Fu," the prince feigned a long-suffering sigh. "I will let it go this once."

"No, that won't do." And with a raise of his finger, the scrawny advisor pointed towards Mulan and Yao. "You two!" commanded Chi-Fu. "Go and clean the horse stalls and then help in the kitchen. No dinner for you two tonight as punishment!"

"You… ―!" Mulan was about to confront the advisor when she felt Ling grasp her forearm tightly, his eyes glinting with fear. It took Mulan considerable willpower to bite back the snide remark that rose to the tip of her tongue.

Satisfied upon delivering his castigation which hopefully disciplined the two rebellious mutts, Chi-Fu stormed out of the tent with much flare and bravado.

"That was close…" Ling breathed in relief. He knew, defying the Prince could well mean his friend was to lose her head even before marching to war. But Mulan seemed to be completely oblivious that the young ruler, despite his wrongdoing and boorishness, was being generous.

"They do say there is wild _man_ inside each of us…." Chien-Po responded in a hushed tone, studying the angry Fa Ping from a reasonable distance. The girl in disguise was still glaring and seething at the horde of hulking men following the prince, grabbing their bottles and tossing their victorious cheers to the sky.

"If only _they_ would stay inside."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update! Thank you for waiting. This is where I introduce another OC, Prince of Wei (name will be fully revealed later), but this man will hold a big portion of the story to reveal some emotional part of Shang that otherwise would remain the voice in his head. He may sound really annoying at first, but I'll hope you all will grow to love him. To those of you who watched Hua Mulan 2009, may recognize that Prince of Wei in my fiction will mimic Wentai a lot, except that I took the personality of Chen Honghui―Mulan's love interest in the new Mulan live action 2018.
> 
> Shang would be back in the next chapter. Thank you for all you review, kudos, follow, favorites! Thank you!


	10. The Secret We All Have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry with the name of OC's, the only one you need to remember is Prince Shao Wei (Prince of Wei), who will stay in the story pretty much until the end.

With mounting annoyance, Mulan followed Yao exiting their tent. She didn't know where the kitchen was, but she couldn't care less, not with the amount of frustration over the brutish aristocrat who had been nothing but a bully and Chi-Fu's blatant unfairness in handling the situation. The world of men had presented its own unique problem that she hadn't foreseen.

Thankfully, Yao, the soldier in front of her seemed to know his way around the encampment like the back of his hand, even though he was steering autonomously because his mind was preoccupied with the same clouded haze that was bothering her mind.

"You shouldn't have done that," Yao said, breaking the silence. "You've picked the wrong enemy. I won't be able to forgive myself if you lose your head because of me."

Mulan opened her mouth, but after quick consideration, she shut it again. This wasn't the right time or place to argue. Even when she didn't see Yao's facial expression, Mulan could feel his visceral feeling of resentment still searing hot from the altercation earlier. She wanted to be clear they were on the same side, so she just dipped her head compliantly.

They entered a tent that looked no different from any of the others, but the amount of vegetables, sacks of grain and scattered pots and woks confirmed they were in the right place.

With an exasperated sigh, Yao flicked a brief glance over his shoulder, signaling her to follow him.

"We are here to help," Yao said shortly, fighting to keep his tone neutral so it wouldn't reflect how vexed he was to end up in the kitchen while his mates probably enjoyed the evening playing mahjong and drinking beer.

The Chef briefly introduced himself as Zhang, a man with hairy arms, thick biceps, a silvery mane and matching beard.

"Great, I can do with a few more hands!" he responded brightly. "Let me see…" He stroked his beard which was plaited into an intricate twist. For a second, Mulan thought he looked more like a Kung Fu master out of her brother's posters than a chef.

"You," he pointed at Yao after appraising his muscular arms. "Yes, you… take those sacks of rice outside where the large pot is. And you…" He flashed a frown after seeing Mulan's slender frame. "Slaughter these chickens for dinner," he commanded, pointing to the cage where a rambunctious clucking sound could be heard.

Mulan wrinkled her nose. An image of blood and gore transpired in her head. So far she had been sheltered and spared from witnessing such horror because her mother or their family maid had done the _dirty_ work. But now, there was no such luxury. She had been demoted to a scullery maid after allegedly defying that arrogant Prince.

"I don't like killing," Mulan said off-handedly. Not that she was questioning the morality of killing innocent creatures for the pure enjoyment of it. She clearly liked eating chicken and didn't have any plan of quitting anytime soon―not until this point.

"Well, no one does," the Chef concurred. "But it is necessary," he added, placing a blade on the table and bobbing his head instigating her to start working. But Mulan felt her limbs completely paralyzed, her mind running in havoc just imagining the queasiness that was sure to follow witnessing the bloody carnage.

"Don't tell me you are afraid of slaughtering chickens when you are supposed to slaughter men out there in a few weeks time," scoffed Zhang as though he could read her mind. Mulan could hear the implied disdain and mock in the way he spoke.

She was about to retaliate, but thinking about it―the Chef did have a point. She wouldn't be much of a soldier on the battlefield if she didn't even have the heart to kill a few chickens.

"I'll give you a tip," the Chef said, clearly understanding Mulan's detestation. "Do not hesitate. It makes them suffer _less_." The advice that was intended to assuage her fears seemed to amplify them.

In desperation, she looked across the room. Yao, although wearing the same thunderous expression, was working laboriously without saying a word. She looked at the chickens that were blissfully pecking a little bit of grain, completely unaware of their impending doom. And here she was, trapped in her own mental limbo, absurdly trying to reconcile her shrinking moral and logical necessity.

Sucking in a sharp breath with a combination of trepidation and helplessness, Mulan commanded her unwilling hand to grab the knife.

This would be her first voluntary kill.

Chef Zhang offered an encouraging smile as they approached the makeshift coop. "Ping, there will always be a first in everything, and I promise you, it'll get easier as time goes by."

Mulan nodded despite her disquiet, marshaling her courage as she wielded the blade. Seemed like she wouldn't be eating chicken for a very long time.

* * *

As the last tendrils of sunlight vanish, and the stars appear all around them, the previously quiet clearing was filled with sounds of a hunger driven mob eagerly fighting their way to fill their empty stomachs. Even after distancing himself at the far end of the field, Shao Wei could still hear the boisterous laughter and incompetent singing disturbing the peaceful silence.

Shao seethed when the nasally voice of one of the soldiers pulled a particularly ribald stunt to his ears. In this kind of situation, he abhorred his own resolve that caused him to be stranded in the least bonafide training camp in the country, leaving all his princely comfort behind.

"And he said to her… do you like sleeping?" He heard one of the recruits, named Jing, suspended dramatically in his narration, lifting his mug and wiping his mouth with his sleeve ungracefully before dropping the punchline. The crowds inched forward expectantly. "Me too. We should do it together sometimes."

A jarring sound of laughter filled the air. Shao could see the narrator's lips curled into a satisfied smirk at the desired reaction.

Shao bristled once again. It wasn't exactly because of the bawdy content of the joke or that he failed to decode the implied meaning of the sordid parody. Back in Chang'an, he and his friends had cracked the same kind of lecherous humor, perhaps even more vulgar than this one considering the absence of Chi-Fu's occasional policing around the vicinity. It was just that the cheerfulness reminded him of the life he had a few months ago, before his father… ― _Ugh_ , he berated himself for thinking about it again. He came here to complete his mission, to jeopardize his father's devious plan and to prove that he was wrong even to dare advocating such a ludicrous proposal.

Another inharmonious rendition with lewd lyrics followed by a peal of laughter deteriorated his foul mood further. But this was precisely the wrong moment to count his misfortunes. Leaving the comfortable life behind the walls of the Forbidden City was his choice―not that he had any alternative after he had openly challenged his father's decision.

He threw his sight far beyond the clearing. His sharp eyes quickly identified a lanky man, grunting and fumbling as he wrestled to lift a heavy cask from the top of the stack to the floor.

 _Fa Ping_ , Shao remembered him―the newest recruit who had been a dolt to meddle with him during his argument with Yao. _What was he thinking?_ Shao felt his temper flare. The way that petite framed warrior squared his chest, effectively taunting him despite his knowledge of his position still vividly permeated his mind. But there was something else that was alluring about Ping. The way he confronted him, his unyielding spirit, his sharp dark eyes and the spark of animosity declared within their hypnotic depths reminded him of _someone_ ―someone he was supposed to _forget_.

Shaking the irrelevant daze out of his head, Shao turned his attention back to reality. From where he sat, he could see the scrawny Ping wrapping his arms around the length of the barrel, pulling a sharp breath as he marshaled his strength, but despite his best effort, the vessel didn't move an inch.

Although bearing the penalty of his mistake, Ping didn't look resentful. He seemed to be trying to do the task to the best of his ability.

Had he misjudged the boy? Shao wondered.

"Oh, poor Ping…" Half inebriated Jing said in feigned pity. "Perhaps you should go home and help your mother lift bowls and wok instead," he added, sinking in his seat enjoying Ping's struggle as a form of entertainment. Ping solemnly disregarded Jing's attempt to ridicule. He was quick to learn that in this kind of setting, weaker men who attracted attention tended to be picked on… _a lot_.

"Ping, do you hear me?" came Jing's incensed voice. He was indignant that Ping had the guts to ignore him.

Finally, someone with genuine compassion stood and helped the poor boy.

"I'll help," announced another man, immediately coming to Ping's rescue.

With minimal to no effort, a rotund man Shao recalled was named Chien-Po hoisted the vessel, and handed it over to Ping. Unfortunately, what could have been a smooth estafet, ended when the heavy load accidentally landed on Ping's toes. The boy let a pain filled shrill, while Chien-Po apologized profusely for his carelessness. The incongruous warble suddenly stopped before being transformed into a mocking guffaw at Ping's expense.

"I think you need the healer to see whether your foot is broken." Chien-Po winced as he rolled the load off of Ping. "My fault," he said, voice thick with regret.

"Hey, you were just trying to help," Ping replied, smiling faintly. Chien-Po extended his arms to take the load, but Ping prevented him.

"I got this," he said firmly before limping away, rolling the cask with him. The discordant voices resumed right after, blending together with the scent of alcohol. Shao glanced towards the far end of the clearing, where the crotchety royal advisor watched the entire exchange unfold. It was clear even Chi-Fu was indulging in the young man's brief time of distress.

The atmosphere returned to normal after Ping retreated to the kitchen to serve dinner. However, as soon as the boy emerged, skilfully balancing a tray with a few wafting bowls, Jing hovered right behind his unsuspecting victim with an air of malice.

"PING!" Jing yelled loudly in Ping's ear. The young man jerked and staggered backward, spilling the contents of his tray all over his comrades.

"Oy!" A man with a large tattoo hollered before pulling the hapless Ping by his collar precariously. He went on to point furiously at his wet lap. "It's only fair if you share the humiliation," he announced, his features contorted with rage. The congregation stifled a loud gasp.

"I… I didn't mean to," Ping confessed. " _Someone_ startled me."

The man scoffed indignantly, neglecting Ping's explanation. He grabbed his beer and threw a generous amount in Ping's direction. His disparaging action incited a wave of laughter.

Shao felt the blood rise to his face, watching the assembly howl and hoot at the unfortunate Ping, who at the moment stood in the middle of a puddle of beer. The boy may have landed on his bad side but that didn't mean he would ignore his suffering altogether.

Meanwhile, Ping's assailant grinned appreciatively for the support, raising his now empty mug and indulging in a surge of satisfaction for his quelled vengeance. Where was Chi-Fu when the situation desperately needed his tyrannical reproach to restore order? Shao studied the Emperor counselor who was sneering quietly, with no intention of getting involved, mediating the tension or asserting his power to advocate the poor Ping.

In a brief wisp of introspection, Shao decided he had enough integrity and humanity to put his antagonism towards Ping aside and come to his aid. Clear with his mission, Shao cut through the clearing and marched over to the group.

Instantaneously, the soldiers mocking laughter sputtered into an uneasy chuckle when Shao squared his shoulders and raised his hand. "Enough now."

And those two words were sufficient to make that hulking culprit, Jing, shrink on his to him, Chi-Fu muttered some unintelligent curse that Shao suspected was never meant to be said aloud. "What a bunch of jabbering idiots."

* * *

You still risking to take a bath in the open air like this?" Ling stated his objection. He had grown weary of Mulan's womanly habit of taking a bath twice a day. Losing a head over body hygiene seemed to be an extortionate price to pay.

"I may act like a man, but I refuse to smell like one," Mulan replied, whistling cheerfully as she took her bathing equipment. Ling rolled his eyes at that.

"Don't worry. I'll be vigilant," she promised.

Regardless of some unexpected hurdles these last couple of days, overall, Mulan was quite content as she was, settling nicely into the routine. She was happy with the more challenging duties and welcomed the novelty of freedom in her role as a man. After a string of unfortunate events, she did not need further complications.

Unfortunately, the universe seemed determined to test her.

It was a quiet night, after a hot day working helping Chef Zhang inside the badly ventilated tent which felt more like a broth scented sauna, a well-deserved bath was next on the menu.

Unfortunately, it was also when the presumptuous prince came strutting out to the exact same spot, sporting his usual silk robe, acting like he owned the place. Which, technically, he kind of did, he was _the_ Prince, _the_ third to the throne after the Emperor himself. But did he have to look so smug and indifferent about it? That night, Mulan was certain the Prince had seen her in the pond's vicinity, but he pretended to be oblivious, nonchalantly stripping himself naked before plunging into the water.

After their odd first encounter―with him being bossy and intentionally pretentious in expressing his opinion―Mulan never wished to make any voluntary acquaintances with the haughty Prince. But now, he seemed to be intentionally resurfacing everywhere she went, even showing her a rare kindness by defending her against the brute―Jing, a few nights before.

Mulan swallowed deeply, watching the Prince's toned back ripple as he swam across the pond. He reminded her of Shang. Mulan immediately slapped herself in an attempt to shove off the inappropriate fantasy, feeling even more flustered than usual around him. She quickly picked another hidden spot behind a large tree, singing some tune to keep her head safely occupied.

After finishing his bath and covering himself with a comfortable night robe, Shao Wei prepared to leave. But his ears were taunted by an effeminate singing from the far end of the pond. He only remembered seeing a glimpse of Fa Ping before he dove into the water. Could that lanky soldier have enough guts to smuggle a woman into camp? Shao nearly burst out laughing at that thought, but there was only one way to find out.

Along the marshy place, Shao saw Ping step into particularly long-standing reeds to create the illusion of privacy as the boy undressed. He let out a blissful sigh―very untypical of a man, as the cool, calming water of the pond wrapped around his figure to his neck. Shao prowled closer and peeked through the reeds into the location where Ping had left his personal possessions. His eyes widened when he saw a strange object laying there.

A chest binding.

 _Is he…_ ― _?_

Shao silenced the uncertain speculation. He was aware of the protocol and the implications if Ping's real identity was revealed.

Suddenly, everyone's mortal enemy entered the pond.

Chi-Fu.

Just about the last man who could handle this kind information with fairness and justice.

"Hi...er, _Sir_." Ping stammered, clearly caught off-guard. Subsequently, Shao lowered himself down behind the dense shrubbery, inching closer to eavesdrop on the exchange.

"I...I didn't know you took a bath at...at this time too," Ping stuttered as he slowly backed away.

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Unfortunately, that sneaky advisor roamed closer.

"Oh… no, no." Ping waved his hand casually. "Of course not!" and deftly camouflaged himself behind a lily pad―that was a wrong move, because not only was his skin not green, it almost implied he was trying to conceal _something_ behind the leaves. If Shao's conjecture was true; that Ping was a woman in disguise―that evil, well-connected counselor would be the first person that insisted on putting the blade to Ping's neck. Abruptly, the bitter nostalgia of a blade trailing across someone's exposed throat transpired in his mind.

Sensing the danger, Shao swiftly thought of a plausible distraction. He glanced to the set of arrows and bow that he habitually carried everywhere, a measure of precaution―as his defense teacher taught him. With impeccable accuracy, he aimed his arrow towards the tree stump closest to the pond, just so it was visible by all the parties to deliver a false warning of impending attack.

"Intruders!" Shao alerted. Run!"

It was not a lie, technically, since _he_ was the intruder, but it made for an effective deterrent. Obviously, the coward Chi-Fu didn't spare any second thoughts for Fa Ping and immediately fled the scene. Ping only emerged when he was sure there was no one around.

And he saw it, even though he was aware that what he was doing was the furthest from honorable thing a man could do, more so for a prince, he had confirmed his suspicion.

Fa Ping was a woman.

Why did he have to know this? He berated himself. He was already embroiled in a far more dangerous deception between the Huns and his father, and now this?

Shao groaned into his palms, feeling unexplainable fatigue swallowing his strength. He plopped himself down by the bank, trying to console his discombobulated mind. It seemed like fate continually challenged him to defy the norms and orders all over again. Ping was truly nobody to him―why he had to go against the rules and risk everything, even his credibility, for a reason not very clear even to him?

Of course, Shao could opt to report his finding, but he was sure Ping had a strong reason to risk her life and masquerade as a man. Why had she disguised herself? What was her agenda? Was she sent by his father to spy on him and to find out his deceitful plan? Shao shuddered at the thought. But why would his father send a woman, more so, one that could hardly fend for herself?

His head ached so much from thinking that he thought it would burst.

* * *

"Chi-Fu," Shao beckoned the royal counselor who sat behind his bureau, a stash of paper mounting in slight disarray across its surface."I need a little assistance from you."

"Always ready at your disposal, Your Highness," Chi-Fu replied politely, abandoning his work.

"Good," Shao forged a smile of gratitude. "What do you know about Fa Ping?"

Chi-Fu's brows drew together in unmistakable perplexity. Why would the Prince be interested of that troublemaker? But Chi-Fu was a lot smarter than to question the Prince's demand. Clearing his throat, he pulled a bunch of scrolls, running through the list before reading them out loud.

"He is Fa Zhou's fourteen years old son, apparently here to take the place of his father." Chi-Fu handed him the copy of Fa Zhou's conscription. Shao studied the scroll but found nothing of a conspicuous trace of oddities.

"Anything wrong, Your Highness?" Chi-Fu prodded as a preemptive measure. Shao shook his head at that.

"Any other family connection you know?" he inquired further, placing the summon letter back into the canister.

"He has one sister, Fa Mulan, who married to the captain of this regiment, Li Shang."

 _Interesting,_ Shao mused. Although the conundrum was far than resolved, Shao's intuition had hypothesized the fact laid in front of him was of great importance.

"Chi-Fu, hand me all Fa Ping's daily schedule to the hourly detail," he commanded.

Chi-Fu bowed obediently. "Yes, Your Honor."

* * *

Mulan's first-week foray into the life of a man ensued with a lot of perilous hurdles. Thankfully her second week was relatively uneventful, mostly because she was consciously trying to distance herself from a certain clique that she felt frequently demeaned her and picked on her weaknesses.

To begin with, most of the men in her regiment were nothing like anything she had imagined―boldly poised soldiers with undefeatable fighting prowess like her father or General Li. In contrast, they looked more like clueless mobs in tin foil rather than warriors in battle armor.

However, after taking more serious consideration, she knew she shouldn't be surprised. The recruit consisted of many people indiscriminately selected regardless of their ability or strength. There were many different facades that she had seen, from an intimidating figure of a muscular man with a wild mane, an arrogant aristocrat, to a small, dirty looking street urchin, that appeared too weak and malnourished to even stand up.

With the absence of their appointed trainer, the male populace spent most of their time gathered in their own little cliques, playing Mahjong, gambling, getting drunk, laughing at dirty jokes or waiting for Chi-Fu's high-pitched tenor to bark some random order at them. She cringed every time she was reminded that if she wanted to be successful in her mission and put on a convincing ploy, she needed to act like one of them.

But her curiosity at the moment was orbiting around the mysterious Prince of Wei. Initially, Mulan speculated that a bunch of imposing men who were often found ganged around the Prince must have been his henchmen. However, as days passed, it was clear the Prince had practically no one you could call a friend. Those who were parading around him merely wanted to get on his good side, wishing in due time that they would reap a benefit of some sort.

According to Mulan's critical observation―The Prince, who everyone addressed as Prince Shao Wei, always distanced himself from the rest. He seemed to prefer to be isolated, detaching himself of any involvement in any social activity and discouraging any form of camaraderie. Mulan saw him every morning, running through his training routine with his sword, showcasing his fluid Kung Fu moves or sitting in silent meditation. Regardless of having arrived in the encampment weeks before, Prince Shao Wei remained an elusive, enigmatic creature to the rest of the regiment….and this in itself piqued Mulan's inquisitive mind - especially after Prince Shao Wei unexpectedly came to her rescue. Perhaps… there was more to him than just the haughty, presumptuous noble that she saw on her first day.

"Thinking about that conceited prince again?" Ling's voice broke her stupor.

"No," Mulan responded blandly, even when her friends clearly knew otherwise.

Ling chuckled. "If you were an actor, I'd say I want my money back. That was hardly a convincing act."

Mulan had the right to despise him after the incident precipitated days before. But something else strummed her heart at the sight of the Prince, sitting, having his lonely meal near a makeshift fire a distance away from them.

"It's odd that a prince would agree to join a regime like ours," Mulan stated between bites.

"You mean because we are…. _pathetic_?" Ling remarked bluntly lacking a more polite word.

"No. Perhaps we are _hopeless…_ no, maybe...ehm― _weak_?" Chien-Po voiced his opinion while stirring the contents of the bowl in his hands. "Pathetic sounds very distasteful."

"Have any of you seen him training in the morning?" Mulan looked at her two friends.

"Yes, his fighting technique is impeccable, executed with grace and precision. His sword skills are some of the best I've seen in centuries," Ling acknowledged.

Chien-Po cackled at that."...And you are not even that _old_."

"C'mon guys. He is _the_ Prince...a royal. Obviously, he has access to the best, most renowned teachers in China to train him," Ling quipped, outlining his logic.

"Yes, I know," Mulan intervened, a little bit impatient that her friends were completely missing the point. "But why did excellent fighter like him join a low-class regime like ours? Why not the elite Imperial Army? Or the exclusive Emperor Crusade? He has the skill to meet their criteria and all the necessary connections to get in."

Chien-Po halted his ravenous chewing, twisting his bushy brows. "Are you implying… that the Prince is here for... _other_ purposes?"

"Oh geez, this is how gossip starts," Ling whined, forging a disgusted frown.

"I thought _gossip_ is your middle name," Mulan teased, recalling Ling's exuberant narration about Shang's harsh-but-handsome persona.

Ling fabricated an irritated scowl but entertained the banter. "But, after hearing his exceptional testimony, you are looking forward to seeing our Captain, _right_?"

Mulan let out a deep sigh and answered in as roundabout a way as she could to mislead her friend's suspicions of her husband's mysterious persona. "What for? I am already married, it's too late to imagine such things."

"Not that I encourage disloyalty, but it's better late than never." Ling pulled an impish smile.

"And how should I explain that to my _estranged_ husband?" Mulan challenged.

"Woah… wait, you don't love him?" Chien-Po gasped, looking perfectly horrified. In his ideal world, romance would be the fundamental basis for any matrimonial coalition, a basic foundation―even in an arranged one.

"Sorry to break your perfect dream. But the reality isn't always as sweet as you wish," Mulan said.

Chien-Po shook his head. "Pardon my melodramatic reaction, but perhaps you could tell us what type of man you are attracted to?"

Mulan just shrugged. "I don't have time to think about men. Every woman must marry regardless of who they fancy."

"Well perhaps he died in the war, and you'll be his widow," piped Ling, beaming brightly. "It is something called a _second_ chance."

"That's a reassuring thought, Ling, thanks," Mulan deadpanned.

He grinned, but his smile dissolved instantaneously. "In all seriousness, even when your interest is solely platonic, I promise I won't say _anything_ to your husband about the Captain." Then he made an animated movement crossing his heart as a pledge of adherence, his face dead serious. It took all of Mulan's self-control not to burst out laughing, imagining Ling's reaction if he knew _the_ captain and _her_ husband they had allegedly plotted to cheat on were actually the same person.

"Why not one of these days, you try to strike up a conversation with the Prince and ask why he's stranded here?" Chien-Po suggested, steering back to the original topic.

"Why me?" Mulan asked.

"The Prince certainly has his eyes on you. He wouldn't have noticed Jing was picking on you if he had not been observing you," Chien-Po explained his perspective.

One accidental stumbling into the same team of seven (that's among hundreds) doing the morning exercise was an easy coincidence for her to accept. But a second and third time? How had he even found out her exact daily routine to the meticulous detail that he knew the exact timing when she normally took a bath? Plain creepy! Mulan suspected Chi-Fu was responsible for sending this man straight into her lap...metaphorically speaking, of course. Perhaps the scrawny advisor suspected who she really was and sent the Prince to secretly spy on her?

Truthfully, despite her curiosity of the Prince's motive, Mulan knew, the more she interacted with individuals outside her usual two confidants, the greater her chances of accidentally showing signs that she wasn't truly a man were.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Mulan sucked in air and exhaled slowly, she had a bad premonition about all this.

"Well, among the three of us, you are the one most eloquent with words," Chien-Po argued. "Besides, he looks lonely. A friend will do him good." They glanced towards the clearing, finding the Prince still sat there in solace, gazing an empty stare towards the sky. Mulan considered her options.

"Which begs another question," Ling interjected. "Why has Prince Shao Wei been watching you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for such a great response to this fic! I can't wait to reveal the main plot to you. Some of you have voiced concern about the existence of Mushu. I have decided to bring him in, BUT there'll be a compromise - which in my opinion - will not alter the realism of this story.
> 
> Ok, Li Shang's fans… I hear you. He'll be back in the next chapter. (snippet will be posted in my Tumblr 3431jessica)


	11. Father's Intuition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter...yet. Apologize for my late update, and this chapter is still halfway through beta.
> 
> And I shall bring Mushu on the next chapter (hopefully). As I mentioned earlier, I've made a compromise so that his character is not going to disturb the realism of the story.

That evening, as usual, Shao sat in his usual spot, eating his lonely meal. Normally, he would welcome solitude―a much-preferred option rather than sitting with the bunch of noisy idiots across the clearing. But today, his appetite was cruelly murdered minutes ago when he found a secret message left for him inside his tent.

He stared morosely into the fire; the letter was still embedded his mind.

 _Shao, we need to talk. The situation got out of hand. They knew our plan. Meet me, the northern border of Wei, by the river before sundown. Fate be damned, if someone apprehends us and kills us both, this shall be our honorable death_ ― _ALS_

The letter was written in a careful cursive, in Mongolian Cyrillic. Shao groaned into his palm, shaking his head. How could he make the right choice when there wasn't one?

 _Darn it! How could they know our plan? Has Father been spying on me?_ He thought. He grabbed the bottle next to him in haste, tipping the content ardently down his throat and enjoying the sudden burning sensation that momentarily overrode his anxiety.

His inner tirade was interrupted by a soft, almost effeminate voice.

"Hi," said the soft query from his back. Shao knew there was only one man… well, woman, with that falsely masculine undertone embedded in her voice.

"Drinking _alone_?" Ping merely stated what was obvious.

Putting his bottle aside, Shao glanced up briefly, before rolling his eyes and returning to his drink, enjoying the way it burned on its way down.

"May I join?" she asked again.

He sniggered softly, which indicated he wasn't in a mood to have a _friendly_ conversation―If Ping ever thought he was friendly.

_May the gods have mercy on this girl's future husband. Not only is she socially impaired, but also stubbornly persistent too._

Shao Wei didn't reply. He just flicked his eyes dangerously towards the lanky man…. Well, _girl_.

Ping shot him a reluctant smile that he supposed was meant to be a sympathetic greeting, but at the moment, it inappropriately stirred unwanted bitterness. Shao couldn't even discern why he replied to her friendliness with an arrogant scoff.

"What do you want?" Shao averted his face to hide his surprise at his own vehement recrimination.

"Er…" Ping was visibly buffeted by the accusation but seemed to tolerate his insolent treatment, only pulling in a sharp breath and exhaling it slowly. "Nothing. I see you eating or drinking alone every night, I thought I may… ―"

With an arched brow, Shao merely responded with a rather curt, "I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity!" she exclaimed but quickly realized the sharpness of her voice. "Have you always been… a _jerk_ like this?"

Shao couldn't resist laughing at the words she used. "Jerk?" he repeated. "Do you know that you could lose your head calling me _that_."

"I know."

"Then what is it?" he demanded, inching closer until he could feel Ping's warm breath spilling onto his skin. "What do you want?"

"Does everyone who approaches you must have _'wants'_?" she reprobated, equally sharp.

"Yes, sort of." Shao sniggered, shaking his head in amusement from the combination of her astute remark and the unmistakable disdain gleaming in her eyes. He supposed he deserved such a look. "Now," he said in a serious voice. "...state your business before I lose my patience and order Chi-Fu to have you hang from that tree."

Ping' risen eyebrows now drew down into a frustrated scowl. "Look, listen…" she said, trying to sound patient even when the heat inside her head was visibly rising. "I see you train every morning. I am sure you are a great fighter, much more experienced than any of us."

Shao scoffed at her impertinence. "Sweet talk doesn't normally work with me."

"So I figure," she deadpanned. "Look, if you think I am one of those sycophants men who wanted to gain your favor, then your are dead wrong, Mister!"

"...and your point is?" Shao snapped.

"Have you heard the proverbs, strength in unity?" she prompted, moving to sit across from him.

Shao knew where Ping would drive her argument. One of his mentors in Chang'an, an accomplished general, had told him how a battalion bound by the ties of comradeship and trust fought much harder than one bound by professionalism―in which each soldier merely fought for themselves and not for the common victory.

Without so much a glance, he answered in uncaring and almost bored tone, "So what? I am not part of _the team_."

True to Mulan's prediction, the aloof Prince expressed no intention to get involved with the battalion. She smiled triumphantly, the Prince had bitten the bait. _Here comes the bomb._

"Then why did you come here? We are here to train to fight together, to function as a single entity against the common enemy, to be part of _a team_?!"

Shao seethed at that, rising to his feet. "I have a mission, and it's none of your business. You are just one incompetent village idiot who is unable to fend for yourself," he rebuked. " _You_ are a liability to your team." _Gosh, Shao, you don't have to be that mean to the girl, do you?_

"What?" Her scandalized expression elicited a chuckle out of him."Okay… okay...Listen," Shao paced back and forth, pretending to be friendly by throwing a friendly smile. "Everyone here… has their own secret," he proclaimed, smirking pointedly at her direction. "Let just say I have an excellent intuition that enables me to spy into everyone's life," he bragged. "Including _yours_."

Mulan's heart hit her ribcage hard at that. It was a bizarre turn for the conversation―Did the Prince know her secret?

Shao flicked a quick glance over the speechless Ping and caught something―a muscle twinge, a change of demeanor that had not gone completely unnoticed. He grinned mentally. _I got you, Ping._

"If I were you, I'd leave now," he said candidly. "Before I reveal what I exactly have learned about you…. _Fa Ping._ "

* * *

 

The next morning, a few warriors from Chang'an arrived in the encampment.

Mulan tried to hide behind her aphetic mask when she saw a familiar black stallion prance its way into the courtyard, causing a cloud of dust to rise in their midst.

With one swift, sure movement, the man dismounted, thudding footfalls advertising his presence. Without further command, the rest of the recruits assembled in a neat line-up.

Mulan stole a glance when she was sure the man wasn't looking, filling the gaps in her memory with his chiseled face, stoic facade and stern expression that had begun to dissolve into distant memory.

"Greetings soldiers. I am Captain Li Shang. I am here to train you to be the best warriors in China." His words were laced with conviction, and his charismatic face was filled with concentration as he swept his gaze across his latest recruits. Shang may be one of the youngest captains in the Imperial army; having raised speedily through the ranks; an experienced soldier, and a great warrior, but apart from that, he had no background in transforming a brawling mob into an efficient fighting force.

Mulan prayed that Shang wouldn't recognize her. She was banking on the fact that her feminine face was devoid of makeup and her skin darkened from the prolonged exposure to the sun.

Shang paced in front of them, assessing his latest trainees that, at the moment, looked far from satisfying. His sight fell on a particular lanky young soldier, Shang cleared his own throat when he realized he had been staring at the young lad a moment too long.

"You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. Anyone who acts otherwise...will answer to me."

Mulan's heart was trying to punch through her ribcage when their eyes collided. She couldn't deny that the attraction had always been there. At first, it was all superficial; his muscular body, handsome features and his prowess in fighting… not to mention his broad shoulders and perfectly executed man bun. But that was nothing more than the adolescent crush of a young, naive and inexperienced girl. She was just eighteen when they married. Obviously, the physical connection that they shared, despite not being based on love, had fueled her feelings into taking root, manifesting and growing into something deeper, something beyond physical attraction and lustful adoration. Something meaningful and lasting. Even when Mulan never openly admitted it with her own lips, her feeling towards him had morphed into something that had intricately become part of her very being…. had she grown to deeply care for him? She didn't want to believe that.

"You are dismissed!"

Mulan quickly tore her gaze away, fixing her sight on the dusty ground. Why would she even think about him? She reprimanded, completely annoyed with herself. She had promised to think of herself as a man, a son and a soldier! But thinking about Shang was something she could not escape, it was as natural as breathing to her. However, it was foolish to brood about something so comparatively meaningless as love and attraction when they were facing the threat of massacre and death.

* * *

 

"That young man," Shang heard Chi Fu's raspy voice as he shot a disapproving glare towards one of their youngest recruits. "He has caused unbelievable havoc since day one. I swear I have never seen anything like it. He might drive me into an early grave," he retorted sourly. "At first, I thought the Huns had sent the kid as a way to sabotage our army from the inside."

"I see," Shang responded phlegmatically, even when the enthusiastic voice in his head was hoping that the clueless looking young man would kill Chi Fu sooner rather than later. "He is still Fa Zhou's successor, I am sure the boy inherited some of his father's strength of mind, tenacity and ingenious thinking."

"Or perhaps simply deception and stubbornness," mocked Chi-Fu.

"I am sure I can deal with him."

"I want to see you try," Chi-Fu scoffed with undisguised skepticism and mockery. "I am sure that soon enough you will be asking your ancestors just what you have done in your previous life to deserve leading this regiment."

Even before Shang emerged from the tent, he registered a tap on the screen. "Captain Li Shang! Honorable Chi-Fu!" The man outside said in a quick, anxiety-ridden whisper.

"Yes?" Shang responded, feeling a terrible foreboding about this.

"It's the Prince of Wei… " the man heaved, wiping his sweaty brow with the back of his hand.

"Someone tried to poison him!"

* * *

 

After consulting with the physician, Shang concluded it was a confined case of food poisoning. After some quick detective work, all evidence led him to one culprit―chef's assistant, Fa Ping.

"He mistook the pig's food for bean bun paste," clarified Chef Zhang, looking somewhat amused rather than devastated. "Not only that, he nearly burnt down our makeshift kitchen in the process."

The Chef's entertained smirk somehow erased Shang's initial suspicion that the boy might be an arsonist or an assassin. Somewhere beneath that entertained/disparaging smile currently plastered across Chef Zhang's features suggested that Fa Ping regularly performed such accidental stunts.

The boy tried not to flinch under Shang's grilling glare.

So this must be the infamous Fa Zhou's son and his brother-in-law. Shang realized feeling his curiosity suddenly stir. The boy was nothing like he had been expecting, not that Shang had a great impression of him from the handful of times they had met. But skinny, with no Adam's apple and a teenager―over whom Chi-Fu was now fussing-was certainly not it. The boy had a petite frame, non-existent muscles, narrow shoulders and feminine eyebrows whose ends had a definite singed look to them. He didn't look much like Fa Zhou. He looked like... well, a bit like a catastrophically clumsy lunatic.

The next morning the training ensued. As circulating rumor had suggested, Shang's training regime proved to be brutal and exhausting, though effective in the grand scheme of things; showing an efficient leader hid behind the harsh exterior.

"Keep your hands on your sword and your heart to your country!" Shang proclaimed. Then he approached a tall wooden mast, dragging two metal weights with him.

" _This_ represents discipline, and _this_ represents strength," he appended as he selected a recruit and attached a metal weight to each hand. Yao, the unfortunate volunteer, could hardly stand with them and the ruthless captain was expecting him to climb with them.

"By the end of this training, each of you has to be able to retrieve the arrow," came Shang’s commanding voice, goading the soldiers into the challenge. "Consider it to be my seal of approval and a sign of graduation into the Imperial army."

Mulan had always had a short-attention-span problem. Her father had addressed this a few times when he caught her yawning while he droned on about certain battle techniques. But right now, her focus-ineptitude problem seemed to miraculously cease the moment Shang abandoned his shirt.

Mulan stole several glances when her husband wasn't looking. Shang was bare-chested, pacing about the courtyard glaring with a predatory stare that had her weak at the knees, for an entirely different reason.

She watched as Yao began to climb. The task was proving to be harder than it looked. With no firm grip available, Yao futilely fought the gravitational force that pulled him down. In his desperation, the guy even attempted to bite the mast to gain footing.

That evening, Shang sat despondently on the far end of the encampment, seeking to clear his mind after another fruitless day of training. He saw the post where he had planted his arrow mutely mocking him. He sighed heavily. From where he sat, Shang saw Chien-Po and a few guys his size trading punches and kicks. They were like oversized boys playing with dangerous weapons rather than efficient warriors with real fighting skills. Chi-Fu's objection over his father's promotion echoed in his head. _"He is too young to be a Captain."_

No, no… he admonished himself. The Emperor’s Advisor's sharp tongue was the last thing he needed, but it was like an inescapable force. What if Chi-Fu was right? What if he was too young and inexperienced to lead a regiment? What if he was right about his hopeless trainees―that no matter how hard he trained them, they would remain a bunch of goons with mediocre fighting instinct?

Shang was here for other purposes too, but his first line of duty was to transform these men into a lethal war weapon.

"Before the battle of the fist come the battle of the mind." The wise voice of his father resonated in his memory, and Shang immediately felt comforted.

_I have to have more faith in my men, and... in myself._

* * *

 

"Your soup is here, Your Honor."

"Just put it on the table. Who made it this time?" Shao asked.

"Myself, Your Grace," the man supplied. "I've already pre-tasted it to make sure there are no _unpleasant_ surprises."

 _You bet._ Shao bristled, pushing his body up from the bed that currently felt like a dead weight. Dismissing Chef Zhang, he propped himself against the wall.

Before falling despicably ill, the last few weeks of training were a mundane business for him, mainly because he had known, even mastered, whatever Li Shang was teaching the rest of the recruits. Now he was weak, bedridden, physically incapacitated to perform any strenuous physical activity, he had no choice but to fill his time with nothing but reading and thinking.

 _All because of that idiot Fa Ping_ , Shao thought ruefully. That harmless, delicate looking, soldier in disguise. The revelation that there was a girl infiltrating the camp kept plaguing him and filling his mind with atrocious scenarios of why she was here.

At first, he suspected that Fa Ping must have attempted a vendetta on him because of the bath time travesty a fortnight ago. She must have deciphered that he _knew_ her secret, hence voluntarily decided to eliminate him to keep his mouth shut. But after seeing her clumsy attempt to catch a fish where she ended up catching Yao's toe instead, her tactical cheat in planting the tomato on the arrow before actually firing it, her catastrophic canon aiming ability that had turned Chi-Fu's tent to dust―her blunder of mistaking pig feed for bean bun paste wasn't that far fetched.

 _Perhaps she is just plain stupid._ Shao ran a palm down over his face. He wished he had never discovered the information about Fa Ping being a woman, but it was something that he couldn't un-see.

 _If that girl in disguise isn't Fa Ping, then… who is she?_ Shao wondered, cogs and wheel turning over in his mind.

From his peripheral vision, he saw her. He took a mental note when the girl gawked openly the moment Captain Li abandoned his robe. She was turning bright red and looking positively abashed when the Captain touched her hand to correct her stance. It was no news that Captain Li was a handsome man. It was kind of natural for any girl to be irrepressibly flustered around him. Perhaps, if Shao was a woman, he would find Shang equally irresistible, especially knowing that he was _married_ . Which spelled out _experienced-in-bed_. He nearly burst out laughing at his own ridiculous thoughts.

Suddenly, a revelation dawned upon him. His eyes darted towards a bunch of recruits who were still grunting and groaning under Shang's ruthless training regime. From his vantage point, Ping was there, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Despite her struggle to follow Shang's order, there was an undeniable longing look in her eyes, as though… she _knew_ him.

Yes, she _knew_ him.

* * *

 

As soon as their business was done, the throng of Imperial Army soldiers left the camp. Mulan watched them as they were hoisted on to their war horses, with sashes and crests decorating their military uniforms, marching gallantly while holding their banner and ensigns. Mulan wondered if _they_ would be that imposing by the end of their training. But, at the moment, she wasn't worried about training…

"You summoned me, Captain?" Beyond his calm, collected voice, Shang could see the recruit's tense shoulders and chagrined expression lurking underneath. Was he even breathing?

Mulan cringed mentally, preparing for impact. What she had learned in the past week of her husband’s inhumane training was that he would not thrift mercy for punishment. While she had no idea why Shang may have invited her presence, she was certain her demise was near.

"At ease," he commanded.

Shang saw his brother-in-law’s poised stature relax slightly, and a relieved sigh expelled lightly from his lips.

"Yes, Fa Ping. I wish to discuss _something_ privately with you," Shang said tonelessly, visage grave and serious.

Ping looked apprehensive again until Shang reassured him. "Don't worry. You are not in any kind of trouble." The lines around his eyes eased when he saw how much the boy reminded him of his wife but then returned when he began to speak.

"I heard you are Fa Zhou's son. You must have remembered me. I am Li Shang, your brother in law." He paused, giving some time to assess his memory of the boy that he had met briefly on his wedding day and during Fa Li's illness.

Apprehensive that Shang would blow her cover, Mulan began to showcase all the display of masculinity that she had rehearsed with Ling and Chien-Po.

"Oh, of course, I remember you, Captain." Ping jutted his chest out, flashing what was supposed to be a cavalier smile before expectorating to his side. Shang's eyes widened, he didn't know whether he should laugh, cry or rebuke the young man for vulgarly spitting inside his makeshift office, burlesquing what he supposed was a display of masculinity. _Boy, Chi-Fu was right. This boy is… odd._

Mulan immediately realized that the Captain was less than convinced with her false bravado of manliness. Clearing her throat, she feigned a low, husky voice. "And you were saying?" Tentatively, she shifted her weight from one foot to another, finding his very close, penetrating gaze very unnerving. "Captain?"

"Ah yes," Shang immediately sobered. "I had received a report from Chi-Fu about your… _difficulty_ in blending with the residents here, especially the Prince of Wei," Li Shang disclosed sternly.

Mulan knew which incident Chi-Fu had reported her for, not to mention she had accidentally caused that spoilt-royal-brat to miss his training because of severe food poisoning.

"I will accept any punishment, Captain. But I refuse to apologize for the altercation with the Prince of Wei on my first day. I had not done any wrong for advocating what is right."

This time, there was no masculine exaggeration nor feigned haughtiness, only a genuine conviction and confidence in his bearing as he drove those words home. Shang allowed himself to nod in acquiescence. He was aware of Chi-Fu's visceral inclination to entertain the influential people even when it meant embracing unfairness, corruption, and nepotism. So far there was hardly anyone inferior who dared to defy his command. Ping was the first, and Shang applauded him for that.

"Ok, points taken," Shang nodded. "However, aren't you a little too young to join the army? I remember your sister told me you are about eight years younger than her. That makes you… eleven?"

"She must have mentioned it wrong, Captain. I am fourteen this year. I am aware that the summon was for my father. However, he is disabled and still grieving over the untimely departure of my mother. I am sure you are aware of this, Captain."

Shang squinted his eyes and rubbed his chin as he appraised Mulan's figure from head to toe. Mulan's mind swam with panic as hundreds of voices practically screamed at her in her head. "I have a few childhood friends here who can confirm my age," she asserted further.

"There is no need to," Shang waved his hand.

Perhaps the saying “blood is thicker than water” was true, Ping was like Mulan's bespoke twin. He didn't just share an astonishing degree of likeness to his wife, but the boy’s defiance and unyielding personality matched her to a T as well.

"However, inside this tent, I am your brother-in-law, so if you encounter any difficulties, please do not hesitate to come to me."

Mulan wanted a moment longer listening to his rich baritone voice that seemed to echo in her head. Alas, their meeting was cut off by a polite cough from outside the tent. _Chi Fu, a man with a well-established reputation as the most intrusive interloper as well as the destroyer of a critically romantic moment_ , Mulan berated mentally.

"I'm afraid I have other matters to attend to," Shang said, closing the meeting.

"Of course, Captain."

Mulan stood up and prepared to leave, only to stop at the sensation of sudden warmth as a hand pressed into her lower back. She quickly turned and was face to face with an earnest expression and dark brown eyes that she almost never saw of him. That was almost more startling. Shang offered a soft smile.

"I won't give up on you, Ping. So, don't give up on me."

His words stung her heart, although Mulan knew Shang didn't mean the words quite the way she thought of them, it didn't make the reality harder to accept. Mulan shrugged him off, feeling overwhelmed by their proximity. She knew, if she stared at those kind eyes one second too long, she would've burst into sobs.

The dose of fresh air outside the tent seemed to clear Mulan’s clouded mind. Once she had a firm hold on her emotions, she quickly replied.

"Captain, I appreciate your concern. I will try my best and do you proud."

"If you want extra training, I will be by the lake after sundown."

Mulan, once again, was left dumbfounded. It wasn't as though the training every day was not tiring and strenuous enough for both of them, but she'd be lying if the thought of having extra time alone with Shang wasn't appealing. But this was why she wanted to distance herself from the captain during the course of her training! It didn't take long for her to find herself completely at his mercy, yet again. Mulan had hoped that her physical transformation to a man in disguise would mean she would finally be free of the mental baggage that consumed her. She could deal with this at home, back where she played the role of subservient wife. Yet, here she was, feeling as though she were falling all over again. She needed to stop this nonsense, it was so unfitting in the nuance of war and death.

"Thank you Captain, but I think at the moment I can do nicely on my own," Mulan replied, bowing her head down and forcing the words out her mouth. Mulan dared not show her face as it would probably betray whatever confusing emotion that was currently tugging at her heart.

Shang rewarded her with the kindest smile she ever saw from him, and she was a new bride once again, feeling him embracing her with his strong, protective arms.  
Darn it.Mulan cursed herself as she dusted her hands off on her trousers as he gave her leave to join her friends.

* * *

If Mulan thought she could deceive her own father, a famous war strategist, long enough to eventually allow her to complete her training, then she was wrong.

Two weeks after her ploy to leave her home without suspicion, Fa Zhou was preparing to fulfill his duty and represent his household on the frontline. He tidied the Emperor’s conscription and went about retrieving his armor from the storage cabinet―it was then he discovered that the key was missing.

After spending many hours digging through the mess in the desk drawers and other places he knew he might have put it, his young son, Ping came forward and timidly admitted he had the key. Fa Zhou nearly had a cardiac arrest when he discovered his armor and sword were both gone. At first Fa Ping went on to say someone claiming to be an old colleague of his, had _borrowed_ them forcefully while he was out. It took Fa Zhou another two weeks of research trying to locate the bogus vigilante before he realized that it was a decoy, a distraction that caused him to waste more of his time.

Then, his next finding confirmed his suspicion. After inspecting his summon letter, despite the impeccable strokes and the same emblem imprinted on the letterhead, he noticed the wax sealant bore a slightly crooked insignia. Other than that, he applauded the forged work that could even have riddled him into believing it was the original summons out of the Emperor's office.

And he knew just who, in his household, was capable of creating such a masterpiece. Sometimes, he wondered whether his decision to let Mulan pursue higher education and martial arts had actually been a wise decision after all.

After putting his eleven-year-old boy on the line of interrogation, Ping admitted, his sister had crafted the plan so that he didn't have to go to war. Fa Zhou swore he should've been more well-acclimated to his daughter's conspiracies, especially one that involved her rather gullible, naive little brother. Perhaps age and prolonged absence from war had turned his brain soft.

But now, Mulan had been with the regiment for more than a month…

He asked the walls around him. "Oh ancestors, what have I done wrong to raise her."

He had been indulgent in his own way to Mulan, and his mother had encouraged that. He had paved the way for her to become the woman she was today; a woman who actively sought independence, questioned her place in Society, challenged for fairness and would not hesitate to verbalize her opinions. Mulan's life would've been very different had she been born a man. But right now, as a woman, she had repeatedly created a scene and unwanted controversy.

But isn't that what people say? That the world is always filled with mysteries―conundrums of life, that eventually would teach them a lesson in due time? _Failure and opposition_ are _what makes us stronger._ He remembered imparting those exact words to Mulan when she fell on her first horse ride. But, how could he honestly expect his daughter, an inexperienced young woman, to pull off the deception she had undertaken for the duration of a war? What if her real identity was discovered? What if her body was left on a battlefield, what would people say? A woman impersonating a soldier was a grave offense, and death would never erase that stigma.

"Stop borrowing trouble from the future, foolish old man," he rebuked himself and set to practicing his rusty martial art form to distract his mind. He grabbed his old bo staff.

Outside the window, the land looked deceptively tranquil under the light of the silver moon above. A thin mist had rolled up from the valley but had begun to dissipate as the night deepened. He remembered how he spent another moonlit night after an exhausting day―in the arms of his beloved, and his sight lingered on the sentimental memorabilia sitting in the alcove of his room. The picture of his wife smiled serenely back from the parchment, post amid a burst of soft lilac and pink background and dressed in a vivid yellow qipao, her favorite color. And a fond conversation surfaced to his memory.

_It was a lovely autumn day and their little family together with Grandma Fa had just returned home from the temple. Mulan turned five that day, and their family had given their homage at the nearby temple. Grandma Fa was still at the family shrine, praying to their ancestor for her granddaughter's prosperous life and future full of blessings ahead._

_Fa Li sat under the plum tree, watching her daughter exuberantly play about the courtyard. Mulan pranced into her favorite training spot, kicking her shoes from her soles, straight away before picking up the wooden sword and making all sorts of dramatic battle cries against some invisible enemy._

" _I can't believe she is five and she..._ ― _"_

" _...can hold her sword better than her chopsticks?" Fa Zhou supplied, depositing himself beside her._

" _That has me worried," she exasperated. "What kind of man would want to marry her?"_

_Her unmistakably worried expression made the entire scene funnier than it already was._

" _Fa Li…." He shook his head, biting his lips to curb the rising laughter. "Mulan is just five. Don't you think it's a little early to think about the right suitor?"_

_That got her smiling."You are right," she said, snaking her arm around his and leaning on his broad shoulder. "Funny though, I have a feeling she will marry well."_

_That sparked his urged to tease."Even better than you?"_

_He heard her forging a fake noise of annoyance. "I don't know what you are talking about."_

_In between their dialogue, another small voice was heard._

" _Now! Say you forfeit or I chop off your head!" Mulan declared in a pretentious, booming tone. She stood, wielding her sword menacingly at one of the apple trees. Fa Zhou recognized his old robe among the branches, and a faint trace of chalk on the bark made it looked like a wounded man._

" _Oh please spare me, General Fa Mulan!" Mulan announced again with a squeaky, fearful voice._

" _Good! Now you better eat your green vegetables so you can grow to be as strong as me! HIYA!"_

_In that moment he couldn't control himself and burst out laughing. Fa Li slapped his shoulder lightly to remind him that his boisterous laugh had invited Mulan's attention. After the awkward episode of Mulan asking, "What's so funny, Baba?" and him trying to give her a vague answer without lying or hurting his daughter's warrior pride, Mulan returned to weave another fictitious tale of glory against the army of fruit trees._

" _She is just like you, Zhou. Same stubborn look in her eyes, same fiery spirit," his wife said fondly. He feigned an eye-rolling deadpan at the mention of the word 'stubborn.'_

" _And I say this as a compliment," she amended, nudging him a little with her elbow, completely amused to watch a smile threaten to break his stern mask._

" _I think your definition of compliment needs a little revisit," he countered, still donning a mirthless face despite the rising desire to laugh._

_A feminine giggle escaped her lips. "No, I mean it. You are the best man I ever married. Not that I ever married anyone else."_

" _Not even that handsome bachelor that your mother said had delicious abs? What was his name again, Hong-Wei? Hong-Hei?"_

" _No…" She laughed harder before returning her attention to their daughter, who was still deeply embroiled in her own fantasy. "I managed to convince my parents I don't need a husband with nice abs."_

_"I need to thank you for that," he said, smiling warmly. They both sat like that in silence, breathing together, feeling each other's hands while watching their daughter in the distance. Yes, Mulan was the personification of their love, proof that their ancestors were well-pleased with their union, if only she was a boy…_

" _Thank you for refusing to take another wife who would give you a son," Fa Li suddenly said, breaking the silence._

_He laced his fingers with hers, letting the warmth filter through his heart._

" _Thank you for giving me a daughter, Fa Li-Juan. Somehow, I know… I can feel right here," he said, putting their entwined hands atop of his heart. "That she will make us prouder than any sons could."_

_His wife smiled warmly at that._

" _However, I do worry about… about our family, our future…," he added after a pause._

_Fa Li disentangled her hands from his, looking apprehensive. "What do you mean?"_

" _I am constantly involved in battles. Facing death and uncertainty is my daily meal. What if, one day I…_ ― _"_

_A touch of her soft lips on his halted his words._

" _Don't let fear stop you from living, Zhou. I know how much you love what you do," she explicated. "And you are very good at it. Not to mention that this country and its people have benefited from your skill and bravery."_

 _He looked at her, and at that point he knew, he was an extremely lucky man. Her dedication had transcended their loveless beginning. Her devotion and patience had covered so many flaws and bridged so much brokenness. Her love surged beyond his expectation. She had created for him a place he could call home_ ― _a sanctuary, a place where his soul found solace._

" _Do you know why I fell in love with you?" he smirked at her. He could see his wife turning pink to the tips of her ears and swiftly averted her sight back to their daughter who was just winning another imaginary battle._

" _You always know the right string to pull, the right words to say at the right time. And that's how you've made a passageway through my iron heart."_

His heart mellowed at once. Fa Li-Juan. Her smile was like a warm wave lapping and wrapping around his tired soul. Her voice had soothed his aches and pains from war. But she was no longer here, her memory was.

"Fa Li, help me to keep our daughter safe."

After a moment of retrospection, Fa Zhou stood up in front of the altar. Anger would do little to repair whatever blunder his son had unknowingly embroiled himself in.

"Ping…," he breathed. The young boy emerged from behind the door, wringing his hands and biting his lips nervously.

"Why don't you find a messenger to send my message to Master Shen, the ironsmith. Please tell him to procure new armor and a sword for me as quickly as he can. I'll pick it up on my way to Chang'an in about two weeks time."

With a reticent nod, the young boy departed with a regretful glance in his direction. But he stopped at the threshold of the door.

"Baba…" he said, sucking in a breath before meeting his father's eyes. "I hope you understand. It's not like Mulan is a rebellious delinquent. She had her reasons. And believe me, she was scared to death to do this."

Some long dormant empathy stirred deep within in him. Fa Zhou smiled, wrapping his arms around his son slowly. "I know, Son."

Two weeks went by quickly, and Fa Zhou's departure was at hand. By the moon gate of their property, he bid farewell to his son and mother. Surprisingly, their exchange was a lot easier than he thought it would be. There were hardly any tears, perhaps because everyone was more concerned about Mulan's situation than thinking of the war itself.

"I'll go to her encampment and pass a message to Shang," he said. "I promise you that I will do everything to keep her safe," he appended as he mounted his white steed.

A year ago, Fa Zhou might have been downright angry at Mulan's reckless resolution. But his wife's death, having touched the fabric of the veil…he had finally come to the understanding that there was so much more out there than just duty and survival. The death of a loved one could make even the most renowned hero humble and willing to accept the thoughtful sacrifice of others.

His train of thought was interrupted by a call.

"Venerable Fa Zhou, your servant at your service," claimed the messenger.

Fa Zhou smiled, pulling a few coins out and handing them to the man. "Thank you. I need you to send a message discreetly to Li Shang, the Captain of the regiment in Shandong. Please tell him to meet me in three days time outside his encampment, right after sundown. The meeting must be held in absolute privacy."

"Yes, Your Venerable."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Thank you for the amazing responses. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. What do you think Fa Zhou will say when he meets Shang? Will he tell him Mulan had disguised herself? Or would he stay quiet?
> 
> As for Shao Wei, he is a complex individual to understand. He was arrogant and sarcastic, but he wasn't an evil man. The main story will circle around the conspiracy among the royals and their relationship with the Huns. I hope you'll have fun guessing who the bad guy.


	12. Desperate situation, desperate measure

"Now the real training begins!" Shang proclaimed from the top of his lungs. The recruits visibly stiffened at his words.

"Let's start with warm up. Run the lap to the edge of the forest and back― _ten_  times," he emphasized. There was an incongruous groan from the crowd, but no one dared to verbalize their protest.

"Today we will learn how to use a bow," Shang told them, gesturing towards a series of white circles on the trees he had prepared before the exercise. "The bow may be a weapon that appears trivial and easy to master, but it will reveal what kind of fighter you are."

"It will teach you to control your strength. It will help you to focus. It will train you to concentrate," Shang eloquently explained the lyrical philosophy behind the art. "To master archery requires discipline, precision, and devotion―which can only be achieved by relentless training."

He abandoned his robe, revealing his athletic figure. Mulan couldn't resist the urge to gawk.

"Observe!" he commanded. Picking up his bow, he prepared his stance and notched an arrow in one fluid movement; before notching two others as well.

She watched intently as Shang stepped up to three fruits precisely balanced on a tilted board. He stamped on the end of the contraption, sending his three targets into the air. Concurrently, he shot the three arrows towards the airborne fruits, spearing each one of them right at the center, pinning them against the circled targets on the tree. Shang's impeccable performance was applauded by a collective gasp of awe with a hint of envy.

"Start with one target, " he instructed, pointing towards the direction of a stash of bow and quivers for his trainees to try. For the benefit of the trainees, Shang repeated the demonstration and firing another perfectly executed thrust. The three arrows sang through the air before meeting their targets, again, flawless and accurate. Shang made it sound easy. Heck, he even made it  _look_  easy.

The trainees picked their weapon and loaded it with ammunition, ready to strike.

"Now,  _focus_!" came Shang's patronizing command. "...And let your  _intuition_  guide you."

Mulan followed his instruction and let her best warrior instinct guide her. Unfortunately, the only intuition she had right now was to eat. It well past the noon time.

Despite her best attempt, Mulan was still unable to hit the target circle (heck, she even missed the tree!)―let alone hit both the fruit and the target circle with a single aim. After countless disappointing tries, Mulan began to grow worried about failing the exercise and being sent home.

Her  _desperate_  situation led to  _desperate_  measures.

She speared the fruit on the tip of her arrow before firing, making it looked like she, at least, managed to hit the fruit, even when she was certain of missing the targets. She was so pleased with her cunning idea that she didn't feel a critical presence looming.

" _Ahem_!" a displeased throaty sound alerted her attention. Looking over her shoulder, she met Shang's rebuking glare. Mulan winced as she avoided his eyes.

"It's not me you're cheating, it's yourself," came Shang's acid retort. Mulan wished the earth below her would split and swallow her whole. "It's your life that is at stake when you can't defend yourself," he pointed out, and Mulan curled in remorse―she knew Shang was right.

"I...I'm sorry, Captain."

"Sorry won't make you hit the target, Ping," Shang chided sharply, his expression hardening. Mulan felt sudden chills traveling her spine. The expression and the voice brought back bitter nostalgia of their first quarrel.

"I guess hand-eye-coordination isn't my thing," Mulan said quietly.

He pursed his lips, and Mulan braced herself for another blunt word of rebuke. But his admonishment never came. Instead, he touched her arm to move her hand upward.

"I've heard you dueled with your sister and you beat her a couple of times. I am sure there is nothing wrong with your hand-eye-coordination. Besides, it was your stance that was messing you up," he explained, hooking the toe of his shoe on the front of her ankle and tugging it backward. "First thing, stagger your feet." His voice was still stern, but there was a gentle nuance to it. He carefully placed his hands on her hips, and Mulan's heart jumped to her throat before throbbing violently. "And square your hips."

Mulan swallowed hard. "Like this?"

Shang nodded.

He was so close to her that she could feel his breath on her neck. Mulan took a deep breath to calm herself, but her pulse continued to quicken as Shang held her hand in his, helping her to pull the string.

"Concentrate on your target, and then release the bow."

But how could she concentrate when Shang's bare chest was pressing against her back? Mulan felt her breath hitch with a mixture of apprehension and excitement. She released the arrow only to miss the target…. _again_. Shang visibly resisted an urge to groan, Mulan stiffened at his disappointed frown.

Thankfully someone came to her rescue and broke the tension. Chi-Fu, entirely oblivious of the impasse, marched towards them―ignoring Shang's half frustrated, half dismayed countenance. Mulan had never been happier to see the bony counselor.

"Captain Li!" Chi-Fu beckoned Shang away from Mulan. She could see Shang's dejected sigh when the perpetual thorn in his side flashed his usual smug, toothy grin. "The Prince wants to see you."

"Keep on practicing, Ping," Shang instructed, half scathingly.

Mulan expelled a loud, heavy breath as she watched Shang's disappearing figure together with the babbling old man next to him.

* * *

"Your Honor, Captain Li Shang's here. May I come in?"

It was three days after the incident, Shao Wei felt he was finally resurrected from the dead. Thanks to Fa Ping and her apocalyptic bean bun―the Prince had completely missed the entire Imperial Army visitation.

"Please, do sit, Captain Li." Shao gestured towards the empty seat inside his tent. "Thank you for volunteering in doing this, even though I still feel your father's worry is a bit unwarranted," he said evenly. "I am a big boy. I can take care of myself."

While Shang couldn't deny the first sentence, he wasn't at all convinced with the second. Especially after seeing the state of Shao's tent. Robes, shoes, and underwear… sprawled across the floor. Atop of his bureau, a stack of scrolls piled haphazardly. A few bowls and alcohol bottles littered the far corner of his bed. And from where he sat, he could see diverse flora and fauna had begun inhabiting them as their permanent home.

"Please, just call me Shang, Your Honor," Shang requested politely, resisting letting his eyes excavate through the Prince's bachelor sanctuary.

"Nice to meet you,  _Shang_." Shao grinned and sunk comfortably into his seat. "I understand you will be my escort during the course of war."

Shang's eyes rested on Shao's battle armor that was perched against his makeshift bed. Assessing from how shiny and undefiled it was, Shang concluded that the young noble hadn't seen much of the battlefront.

"Indeed Your Honor. Your safety is my father's priority and the epitome of my responsibility," Shang replied sensibly, keeping his tone as respectful as possible "...and the fact that you refused to..―"

"Li Shang, people are dying in war, there is no running away from it―whether you are with an elite regime or a crappy one―it makes no difference. Anyway, you are more than welcome to perch your tent across from mine―if it will make you feel better."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

"...And please, just  _Shao Wei_ ," he said, wringing his hands. "This is war―you and I are just men―we are equal," he said, pouring a bit of strong drink and offering it to Shang. Shang received it out of respect, even when he thought it was preposterous to get drunk before the sun was even halfway across the sky.

"If we are going to be joined at the hip, I would much rather we forget about palace etiquette," he admitted, tipping his cup and letting the alcohol burn down his throat. "Speaking formally tends to choke me."

Shang mimicked his action. "Right,  _Shao Wei_." He  lifted her glass and Shao Wei let the ceramic touch in a silent salute.

Shao smiled as Shang tested his name. Then they both drank deeply.

"I take it you'll be tailing me everywhere from now on."

"Yes, Your―...Shao Wei," Shang immediately revised. "But if my intrusion begins to feel like an invasion of personal space, please alert me. I shall withdraw."

"Don't worry, if you start to put a permanent dent on my mat," he said, looking pointedly at where Shang was seated. "I won't hesitate to kick you out," he said in jest.

"I understand," Shang nodded compliantly.

Considering Shao Wei had spent five years under General Li's tutelage, Shang knew very little about the young Prince of Wei. Shang's knowledge was limited to rumor across the Imperial Army's circle, which the Prince had joined immediately after completing his training. And just like many other privileged bachelors, Shao Wei was well-known to be a party animal, seasoned playboy, and an opportunist gambler. However, encased inside his debonair, suave persona, Shao Wei was a character full of mystery. For example, Shang had no idea why Shao Wei relinquished his position in the prestigious Imperial Army and requested to join a low-ranked regiment and to bear himself under an anonymous title.

The two engaged in a light repartee, introducing their circle of friends and relatives. It was then Shao Wei revealed some minor details of his  _mission_.

"I hope you are good with holding secrets," Shao said enigmatically. "Because there is one―in fact, two  _sacred_  places of rendezvous that I don't want you to breathe a word about to others." His tone was detached and sterile. It was impossible for Shang to deduce anything.

"First, is my exclusive toilet spot―where I have a moment alone with my conscience," he revealed. "The second one is the vegetable stall in the village nearby."

Shang had a question, but he held it back, feeling it wasn't his place to prod around someone else's private life.

_Why the vegetable stall?_

_Maybe the Prince has an unexplainable fetish for cucumbers?_

He immediately banished his inappropriate thoughts.

"As you wish, my prince."

Shao grinned. "Then, you are dismissed."

* * *

"Your soup."

A bowl made it onto Mulan's tray. She slowly tipped the contents into her mouth, mimicking the ravenous chewing from the male residence around her. Her ears tuned into the hustle and bustle, hearing snippets of conversation and smelling a whiff of someone's foul-smelling musk. Good grief, she had no idea when she would ever get used to this. She forced herself not to gag.

It was the usual dinner havoc around the encampment. As usual Mulan, Ling, and Chien-Po had tucked themselves into the table in the far corner of the clearing. Mulan watched as the crowd of recruits drifted from the table like shifts.

It was then someone entered her field of vision. Seated just opposite of her on the far end of the table was the Prince of Wei, who for once for some unknown reason, had agreed to join the rest of the troop for dinner. Perhaps her pep-talk with him a couple of nights ago did strike a nerve, or perhaps Shang lectured him on the importance of team bonding.

Mulan pried furtively, lowering her bowl to get a better view. Shang and the Prince of Wei were listening to Chi-Fu talk while waiting for their dinner to be served.

Mulan noticed the Prince's impressive built and physical contrast was stark among them. He sat a few inches taller than most of the men at the table. Next to him and visibly following him like a shadow was her charming husband, Shang, who tried his best to hide his bored expression at Chi-Fu's monologue. The creases in his brows deepened every time Chi-Fu said " _what would the Emperor do without me_ " line. Nevertheless, Shang still remained inexplicably attractive. His robes barely concealed the taut muscles underneath―the evidence of years of training―and gleaming light from the hearth exposed the uneven blemishes on his naked arm―his battle scar. Briefly, Mulan entertained the thought of how much more handsome he would be without the frown on his face.

Shang thanked the Chef as he was handed his portion. Meanwhile, the enigmatic aristocrat pretended to look interested in the bland liquid inside his bowl, but his eyes traveled in her direction with poorly hidden interest. No pun intended.

_What is he thinking about?_

"Well done with the soup tonight," praised Ling from behind her, snapping her out of her thoughts. "This is what I call improvement," he added to the commendation.

Mulan stood up, collecting the dirty bowls and stacking them up on her tray. Unfortunately, she was concentrating so much on balancing them she failed to notice Chien-Po's leg in her way. Thankfully, her reflexes counterbalanced her misstep, and no bowls ended up on the floor.

"Oops, sorry," mouthed Chien-Po as he retracted his leg.

"Hey, no worry," Mulan said, rubbing the soup's spillage on her robe. This time no man dared to comment or ridicule her epic clumsiness. "Chef Zhang is off today. So, I asked Chien-Po to teach me a simple soup dish."

"Ah, this is nothing," Chien-Po dismissed humbly. "You did most of it by yourself."

"It's criminal how easily cooking comes for you," Mulan said absently.

Chien-Po put his bowl back on the table, grinning. "Well, I am a man with a hungry belly and a vision. It couldn't work any other way."

Then, Chien-Po narrated his ongoing chef's training raptly. Both Mulan and Ling listen amusedly on how Chien-Po seemed to find undercooked bean bun and bone left in a fish apocalyptic in nature. He even made his voice dwindle to a dark crescendo when he said his teacher found a piece of burnt garlic in his stir fry.

"He would have died of shock to hear you mistook the pig's pallet for bean bun filling," Ling teased Mulan.

"...But, perhaps this should happen more often," he supplied before lowering his voice. "Even the victim of your food poisoning seems to be a little  _keen_  on your cooking since he joins us tonight." He cocked his head subtly towards the Prince.

"I doubt that's the case," Mulan replied. "Perhaps Captain Li threatened to decapitate him if he remained a social recluse."

"True, our Captain can be unbelievably creative when it comes to punishment," Ling muttered, recollecting that last week the entire battalion was asked to pick up the rice grains from the ground after Mulan mistakenly hit someone, which led to a chain of outrageous punching frenzy.

Her eyes drifted to the pun in question again. To be perfectly honest, the Prince was equally fascinating to her. He was full of secrets and mysteries, and gods knew how much she loved mysteries. Well, solving them. His handsome face was wearing a polite mask with a princely smile that looked so fake even Chi-Fu could have known. His dark, haunting eyes occasionally darted to her direction as he listened to some war veteran that had joined their dinner party that night droning (or bragging?) on and on about their first victory.

But suddenly her self-awareness alerted her to an intrusion. She cut her glance to the side and briefly caught Yao who seemed to share her focus on the same object of interest―but for an entirely different reason. It was something she couldn't exactly decode, but it wasn't an intrigued or appraising stare. It was more like a scheming glare with an unhealthy hint of antipathy. Yao quickly donned an inscrutable face and pretended to nod to the guy next to him curtly to top up his tea.

Mulan bounced her sight to the Prince again.

It had been a few days since the Prince suffered from food poisoning after she had mistaken the ingredients. Since then, Chef Zhang seemed to keep her away from the kitchen and Shang had kept her more occupied with training to avoid messing up with another dangerous experimental endeavor.

There were reasons why the Prince's existence provoked her curiosity. First, she had heard, from circulating rumors, that her own father and General Li had commended the Prince's fighting prowess and regarded his swords skill as the best in the region. According to Chi-Fu, General Li even dubbed the Prince of Wei as one of the most well-equipped royalty to bear arms. Mulan knew, from experience, that both men from her household were hard to impress.

And after one solid month of observing him from afar, Mulan concluded that the Prince was not here just to do business with Chi-Fu nor to be trained by Shang. He avoided the Emperor Councillor and spent his days training or meditating alone.

Reading him was not easy, but she concluded that he had  _other_  reasons for being here―a reason he was very clearly keeping to himself and a reason she wanted to know because whatever this man was, he could be dangerous.

Mulan entertained various ideas in her head. She could try to extrapolate it from someone else who may know the Prince back in Chang'an. She inconspicuously looked around, seeing who was where. Chi-Fu was sitting alone with a quill in his one hand, and the other absently creating a monotonous drumming sound.

_Ok, here goes nothing._

"Sir? May I speak with you?" Mulan asked politely.

The man in question glanced up to identify where the question came from. When he recognized the source was Fa Ping, he fixed the young man with his trademark austere glare.

"Yes?" Chi-Fu sounded less than willing.

"Writing an important letter I see," Mulan said as a way of pleasantries.

"This is none of your business, Soldier," the man seethed. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," Mulan replied. "I just...I was just wondering what kind of  _important_  job an  _important_  man like you would do all night," she said, sugar-coating her words with a smile.

Chi-Fu processed that, and one particularly cavalier smirk pulled across his lips. "Yes, as you can see… I am here to give the Emperor a personally tailored report of the recruits' training progress."

"Ah, I am sure you are one of the most valuable assets in the Imperial Court," Mulan went on, bolstering Chi-Fu's swollen pride. She needed to tactfully extract the information without causing much suspicion.

"So you knew the Prince of Wei before he…―?"

"Of course," Chi-Fu hollered enthusiastically when he saw the opportunity to share the story of his shining political career. "He invited me regularly for tea!" and he grinned smugly at her, and Mulan mentally cringed at the uneven, crooked exhibit inside his mouth. He definitely could do with a visit to the dentist.

"I even know his favorite food, his favorite tea… and -oh-," Chi-Fu continued to blabber. "...He loved to play Mahjong with beautiful ladies in the court and..―"

"Isn't the royalty supposed to be joining the Imperial Army?" Mulan interjected, she wasn't interested in the details of the Prince's private life. "What exactly is he doing here?"

Everyone knew this. Shao Wei was exempted to join the training, and it was quite clear the reason why. He was far more qualified than the entire regiment combined. But, if he wasn't here to train or to be trained, then….why was he here at all?

Right after the question left her mouth, Mulan detected Chi-Fu's mood instantaneously swing to its polar opposite―and the inhospitable frown returned to his face.

"I don't know," he shrugged uncaringly, folding his scroll and tidying up his quill.

Despite the councilor's frequent spiteful attitude, somehow, Mulan could sense an unexplainable trepidation beneath his mask, especially the way he fiddled with his fingers; it suggested he was nervous.

"But… what if he knew some secret? Like enemy's plans or some crucial location? Or other strategic political information?"

"And that's exactly why we shouldn't know!" came Chi-Fu's incensed reply, Mulan jerked back in surprise. The man managed to compose himself when he realized a few recruits had flicked their heads to tune into the debate.

"Look," the old man gritted his teeth, indicating his thinning patience. "The aristocrats, the Emperor, and the Generals are the ones who decide the when and what we do. We are just the vessel of their wishes, the device in their hands. Whatever they will use us for―it is irrelevant to us."

_Why is it irrelevant? Won't we perform better as a team if we're all like-minded and share the same goal?_

She wanted to argue but decided to repress her combative desire and clamp her mouth shut.

"It's dangerous to know too many things, Fa Ping. You are still  _young_  and  _foolish_ ," Chi-Fu remarked bluntly. "And for the love of the ancestors!―even when you and your antics annoy me like hell―I would hate to see your father mourn just because you poked your head around the wrong hole."

Mulan frowned, not understanding what he meant. "Forgive me, Sir. I don't mean to imply any disrespect," Mulan said, feeling as though perhaps she'd done more damage than she had good, considering the old man's scowl was still frozen on his face.

Before she could ask him though, the Emperor Councillor left, abandoning her with a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Although their adversarial nature, this time, Chi-Fu's warning tone sounded more sincere and he never was. In fact, there was an undertone of fearfulness as he left.

If the Prince was not a dangerous person, why would Chi-Fu warn her off him?

* * *

"Captain, someone is looking for you. He is waiting by the northern entrance," relayed one of the recruits who were on patrol that day. "He told me to give this to you," the man reported, passing over a cloth parchment.

Shang deftly opened the message, a familiar signature and family emblem imprinted on its surface. He waved his hand, dismissing the man before marching out of his tent to the main entrance of the encampment. Approximately two weeks ago Shang had received a messenger who had informed him of Fa Zhou's forthcoming arrival.

He strode towards the point of rendezvous, wondering what kind of important matter had brought his father-in-law all the way here to discuss it with him.

At first glance, he saw the veteran stood without his battle armor. Fa Zhou was wrapped in his woolen robe because temperatures had gotten unseasonably cool as autumn approached. But on closer inspection, Shang spotted Fa Zhou's armory stored neatly in a sack around his horse.

The man led without any introduction or formalities as he addressed, "Li Shang."

"Father Zhou," Shang reciprocated in likewise manner. "Is there something you wish to discuss with me?"

"Only a family matter," Fa Zhou replied vaguely. "I heard the news from Chang'an. Congratulation on your promotion, Shang," he balled his fist and pressed it against his palm in a congratulatory way.

"Thank you, Father Zhou," Shang replied humbly, mimicking the action.

They went on to exchange a few pleasantries before Fa Zhou inserted. "I come here to send a letter to Fa Ping."

From under his satchel, he produced a scroll and a small linen sack. "Nothing urgent inside," Fa Zhou supplied. "Just a little paraphernalia I want him to have," he said. "Also, I've been meaning to pass  _this_  on to you, Li Shang."

The man produced a necklace from inside his sack. It was a simple stone locket strung onto a braided leather. The stone's surface was dulled with age, but Shang could see a ' _yang'_  symbol engraved neatly on its surface. While on the opposite side, there was a fading depiction of a red dragon with a little drum on his hand, painted meticulously with exceptional attention to detail. It struck Shang as oddly peculiar for the dragon to hold an instrument, but he didn't want to break the atmosphere by asking silly, random questions.

"This is our family heirloom. My mother passed this down to me and my late wife, Fa Li. Now, it's yours. I've given the other half to Mulan." Fa Zhou's hand wrapped his warmly as he passed the token.

"A happy marriage is about three things: Memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes and a promise to never give up on each other." His voice was thick with melancholy. "Every soldier needs a place of rest, a place to call  _home_. And I hope you will find those in Mulan, Li Shang….just like I found  _mine_."

Shang was no novice in angst-ridden drama considering Li Yue's obsession with romantic poetry. But hearing the words said somberly by a soldier who had weathered through war and faced numerous deaths―it gave  _love_  a new perspective.

"Thank you," Li Shang smiled gratefully and looped the necklace around his neck, tucking it carefully inside his armor. And while its monetary worth might have been minimal, Shang knew he was holding a great treasure.

Fa Zhou invited him to sit under the trees as they chatted lightly about various training techniques and quoting some of the best battle strategies. It was when he mentioned the word ' _progress_ ' Fa Zhou brought up the subject of his son.

"How's Fa Ping's training going? And how are you acclimating to teaching your recruits?"

"Ping is... _fine_. He is making progress... slowly," Shang inserted the words carefully. "And teaching has been going...well, though..." Shang struggled to select the right words to describe the grueling weeks spent just trying to motivate his disinterested trainees.

Truthfully, after a few weeks of hardcore drilling, Shang did not expect many of his recruits to succeed. Not that he gave these bunch of clueless men the sort of bewitched trials that forced them to fail. He wanted every single one of them to be the country's finest soldier. But in his years of relentless training, he had never seen a bunch of men as hopeless as these. With every trial and failure, he had grown more and more resigned to making generalizations and assumptions about certain types of men who would make it to being a well-seasoned warrior and efficient fighter on the battlefield―unfortunately, most men in his regiment didn't fall into this category.

There must've been something on his face that spelled out desperation because he felt Fa Zhou's sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"Li Shang. There is no bravery without fear. There is no success without failure," he said wisely. Shang nodded in agreement as he let Fa Zhou's judicious words sink in.

"Do you think Fa Ping will be fit for battle?"

Shang was frozen on his spot. For weeks he had been trying to answer the same question. To be perfectly honest, he could see nothing of the famous Fa Zhou in him. Shang felt an ultimate chagrin on the old general's behalf that such a great man had the misfortune of having such a son. Fa Ping couldn't seem to do the most menial task correctly. He was graced with the hand-eye-coordination of a drunken horse and phenomenal clumsiness that could cause catastrophic devastation in monstrous scale. Off the top of his head, he could mention a few times, such as when yesterday, he distributed a bunch of bamboo staffs for weapon practice. Shang discovered that Ping was absolutely terrible at remaining stationary when he suddenly decided to go on sweeping frenzy and nearly decapitated dozens of men around him because a bug accidentally crawled into his robe.

"I think he  _eventually_  will," Shang replied unconvincingly. A silent voice in his head didn't elaborate that 'eventually' could be a year, or a decade...or a millennium.

For a son of a famous war veteran, Fa Ping had surprisingly delicate features, smooth hands with infuriatingly womanish mannerisms with a soft and timid cast that belonged nowhere near a battlefield.  _'Pretty'_  would have been a better word to describe him. The boy was impossible to teach! Shang could see that Ping was trying hard, but the boy clearly had no talent whatsoever for soldiering and would be a liability to the rest of the troop if Shang allowed him to remain….worse, he might even be killed at war.

The war veteran stood mutely. Shang blamed himself for not being a better actor―he could sense Fa Zhou's skepticism radiating from his posture.

"I'll train him harder," Shang promised. "Just give him a couple more weeks."

Fa Zhou was silent for a while, trying to reconcile the complicated matter that was ramming in his head, a tug-of-war between his logic and his heart. With a loud huff, he articulated his resolve. "I trust your judgment that you know when to send him home."

"Of course," Shang replied quickly.

"Very well," Fa Zhou smiled complacently. But, within seconds his expression inexplicably hardened. "Shang, please keep my visit and this conversation as a secret between both of us. No one, not even Fa Ping, should know that I was here."

When the context of the situation was understood, both men bade their farewell and parted in their respective way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't put in Mushu in here as I promised. The chapter get uncontrollably long and I end up had to split it into two. Nonetheless, hope you enjoy and please leave me a fave/kudos/reviews, many thanks!


	13. The Royal Game

To Mulan's dismay, the next day of training passed with no improvement whatsoever.

It was the day when the whole regiment went to explore the untamed thicket of the surrounding woodland as a part of their survival training. The journey itself was quite pleasant, but what awaited them wasn't. First, the recruits had to stand in the freezing cold current, attempting to bucket themselves a fish each.

_Trivial enough._

But then Mulan realized that they were supposed to catch the slimy creature barehanded―let's just to say this was another test of precision, alertness, and speed.

And the only thing she managed to catch was Yao's foot (accidentally sending Yao underwater and nearly drowning him). Mulan embarrassedly put his foot down, profusely apologizing but only managed to get another unamused glare from him.

Only after giving a portion of her dinner to him for the entire week was her debt written off.

They walked back to the encampment for what they had thought would be a 'well-deserved-rest.' But of course, there was no such thing. Shang had taken a longer way to return to get to one particular part of the river where there was no bridge to traverse―instead, it was a series of flimsy looking poles sticking out from the water.

"I know you all want to go home," Shang said, a hint of an evil smirk tugging on his lips. "Anyone who falls into the river will have to repeat the exercise," he commanded. "This task will train you to combine balance, speed, and agility."

Mulan couldn't believe this cold-blooded instructor was none other than her husband. If he unraveled her inconceivable disguise, he would Kung-Fu chop her in half!

This time around, Mulan reaped the benefit of being the smallest in stature. Her lightweight and small feet meant she could comfortably keep her footing and conquer the obstacle with little effort.

It was Chien-Po who became the group's bottleneck. The corpulent man struggled not to lose his balance. As a consequence, he hesitated a lot and forestalled the rest of the recruits behind him. And that wasn't the only bad news. Chien-Po didn't know how to swim! Mulan heard his panicked yelp as he fell into the water with his limbs flailing frantically for help. Thankfully, Shang was swift to come to his rescue. It took Chien-Po a good dozen tries of crossing and falling before he got to the other side of the river without touching the water.

By the time the whole drill was over, it was already dark. They were all exhausted, bruised and hungry as their slavedriver Captain only allowed them to consume the fish that they caught for lunch and nothing else.

When the sight of their makeshift tents came into view, the recruits foolishly thought the day was over.

"Who said you were all dismissed?" His stern voice halted the men in their sluggish tracks."One final exercise before we call it a day."

Shang's announcement was reciprocated by a collective groan which he cut off sharply.

"You think I did this on purpose?" Shang bristled. The men stiffened as their aggravated Captain's fist balled in fury. " _War_  knows no rest, men!  _War_  knows no second chance!" he snapped. "The objective of war is not just to die for your country, but to live for it!"

The murmur of discontent immediately transformed to a sigh of contriteness as Shang delivered his speech.

Sensing his men had mentally bought into the deal, Shang wasted no time in explaining the next obstacle course. "We have to remain as vigilant during the night as we are during the day. Statistics reveal that a lot of instant victories were claimed during an unexpected ambush in the night," he said, anointing his arrows with oil before setting them ablaze. "As a soldier, your instinct may tell you to stay and fight, but as a sane person I would suggest you run."

The crowds were soon dispersed, and chaos erupted as their Captain entered a hunting frenzy mode, aiming his arrows very close to any hapless recruits.

Mulan managed to duck just in time as one burning arrow passed above her head. If her father knew that her husband nearly barbecued her alive, there would be a long, unpleasant lecture in order.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Chi-Fu, standing amusedly watching the entire regiment roaring in panic, occasionally looking down at his parchment to take some notes.

"You must learn that running away can be a beneficial skill too," Shang told Chien-Po. It was obvious that speed and agility would never be his forte. He whimpered as the Captain removed the extinguished article and applied a cold solvent on his charred behind.

* * *

The past two weeks of physical drills proved to be horribly gruesome. And it was double the burden since Mulan was still learning how to conduct herself as a man.

Kung Fu soon became part of their routine. Every morning, the whole battalion was caught in a voiceless dance with unseen enemies as their reflective blades bathed in the sun's golden light.

Shang normally would lead the training, standing in front of the entire battalion to give a demonstration. His expression was dead serious.

Holding his perfect posture, Shang readied his stance before commanding an apprentice to launch their attack. Mulan's heart throbbed uncontrollably when witnessing how her attractive husband demonstrated his martial art fluency. His movements were fluid; swift as a coursing river, forceful as a great typhoon, and as strong as a raging fire.

 _He is the perfect exhibition of strength and grace, balanced with precision and skill._  Mulan thought dreamily as she watched his toned muscles stretch and flex under his tanned skin with each motion.

Effortlessly, Shang thwarted all the assaults directed at him.

_Thank god he is shirtless._

Mulan almost slapped herself when these thoughts entered her brain and she found herself staring completely inappropriately at her attractive commanding officer.

Mulan tried her best to emulate Shang's movements; unfortunately, her lack of strength and balance overshadowed her ability to win against a bigger opponent. And that wasn't the worst. It happened when the Captain beckoned her forward to be his next sparring partner.

"Fa Ping! Please come forward."

She could feel her body tense up immediately for many reasons.

"This is an important lesson on close body combat," Shang explained, "Protect your crucial body parts such as your head, your chest and your abdomen because failing to do so can make you lose the match… or, even worse, you could  _die_ ," he said prophetically while twisting his neck to the side and pressing his knuckles until their joints gave a loud cracking sound. The recruits winced at that.

"Are you ready, Soldier Ping?"

Mulan immediately corrected her slumping posture, squaring her shoulders and straightening her spine. "Ready is my middle name, Captain!" she said in her best growly voice.

Shang wanted to laugh upon hearing the boy's retort but refrained from breaking the atmospheric grimness that he had created. He was waiting for Ping to launch his attack first, but he could see the boy hesitated.

"Ping, you can hit me as hard as you like, and you won't be punished for it," he promised, but Ping didn't look convinced.

"Are you scared?" Shang prompted kindly but firmly. He didn't want to be caught playing favoritism to his brother-in-law yet didn't want to scare the poor lad by punching him unconscious on his first spar. 

"No," she replied unconvincingly. 

Shang sighed. "Okay, if you refuse to go first, then I will," he said firmly. Shang made sure Ping was ready for him when he launched his attack. The young recruit managed to block his first punch successfully, and duck under his second one―covering his head with his hands.

Mulan looked up in the gap between her arms only to see her half naked husband closing into her space. She must have been charmed, enchanted… or whatever the word was, when she saw those delicious muscles flexing. If this was entirely different time and context, she could almost get excited about the prospect of getting this close to Shang.

It was then that Shang saw an opening and connected his palm to Ping's face. Shang was obviously being careful and only employed a fraction of his strength, but the force was enough to send the lanky boy hurtling towards the tree.

"Ouch!"

 _Why the hell did he have to be so attractive?_ Mulan thought sourly as she nursed the sore spot.

"You must stop staring at his abs, girl!" She could almost hear grandma Fa's voice in her head, rebuking her for her lapse in concentration.

"Ping!" she heard the concerned voice and subsequent footfalls of Ling and Chien-Po. Mulan immediately raised her hand to halt them.

"I'm alright," she said while gradually collecting herself and struggling to get back on her feet. She staggered to her side but willed herself to approach Shang and held her battle stance. For a split second, she saw a glimpse of surprise and admiration in his eyes before they returned to cold and judgemental.

 _Leave the war to the men, Mulan._  Shang's words resonated in her head.

She hated him for being right about her. She hated herself for not being strong enough, fast enough, skillful enough. She hated her limitations. She hated herself for being born as a woman who could do nothing to even dictate her own emotions towards the man who had been a distant, unfeeling husband.

One morning while practicing her routine outside in the hidden corner of the clearing, Mulan surreptitiously watched over her shoulder as two sweaty men engaged in combat not more than twenty feet away. This was certainly nothing new for her. In fact, she had often gone out as a child and watched her father with a few friends train or fight together while reading a scroll or munching on food.

But there was a mile of difference between openly watching men who were triple her age to sneakily spying on her own husband in full contact with a similar opponent. Both men were fighting with two types of weapons simultaneously, jumping at each other's throats and trying to find their adversaries' weaknesses and taking advantage of any opportunities to sneak in an ambush.

Whatever harmless, adolescent crush Mulan had for Shang before she decided to come in her father's place had turned into a four-headed, delusional monster now, threatening to break free at any time.

 _But, even Ling agreed that Shang is irresistibly charming… and he doesn't even have ovaries_ ―that was her hormones talking again.

Mulan felt her heart race, both with anticipation and arousal, watching the raw power completely unleashed, in a manner he never did with her. Shang's movements were sharp, staccatoed with a lethal ambush at each end, while Shao's tended to be smooth and lyrical. This fight was different from the demonstrations Shang did with the other recruits, which tended to be very much one-sided. There was a rhythm to the fight. Both of them seemed to be keeping an internal tempo as they paced around each other.

Shao was a challenge. He kept Shang on his toes. It wasn't often that Shao won a match, but it was often enough that Shang didn't take victory for granted. And Shao, despite not being a soldier as long as Shang, was an astonishingly fast learner. He absorbed new fight techniques and information like a sponge and could expand on them without much instruction, which meant he sometimes took Shang by surprise.

At one particular moment, Shang managed to land a square kick on Shao's abdomen, sending him straight to the ground. But the Prince recovered with haste, standing and taking his stance then spontaneously changing his tactics. He immediately realized that Shang outperformed him in the strength department, but he was honest and clean with his attack. Manipulating Shang into believing that he was defeated and cunningly sneaking in an unexpected ambush would seal the deal. Within five minutes, their positions reversed and he had Shang disarmed. Shao grinned triumphantly at the captain.

"Expect the unexpected, Captain Li," he said with his sword still pointing at Shang's jaw.

"Point taken," Shang replied, taking a deep bow and accepting his defeat like a good soldier. "It was my pleasure to learn from you, Shao Wei."

"You fought well. I have to admit your raw strength and calculated brutality nearly beat me today." Shao offered his hand which Shang took gladly.

Mulan closed her eyes and fought for control. Her cheeks were hot both from the sun and the show proceeding before her. And oh, her badly sated hormones were roaring out for release! Now, she could understand why many married women had blindly dismissed the fact that their husbands may have gone astray to a brothel while they were serving in the army. Lust was a powerful, untamed force. It's when one feels that irrepressible tug, the curious pull that draws you toward another person with such a ferocious intensity; it went almost beyond the realm of self-control. It's the seductive sensation that sensually swept itself across the core when one identified the object of his/her affection.

She knew the attraction was always there, but her body seemed to understand this before her brain did.

Around the encampment Mulan had heard whispers about Shang, about how lethal and sharp he was, how smart and well-acclimated with war and battle strategy. People were starting to respect his name. Those who didn't respect it were the ones who feared it. She had kept her ears to the ground and heard it all, feeling a secret thrill that the same man had, in fact, shared a bed with her. But as much as she had heard about him, she had never seen him in action. That was being corrected quite thoroughly right now, and she was gawking―unabashedly―until Ling's sharp elbow landed right on her ribcage.

"Ping!"

She scrambled off her seat, head going into overdrive when she realized someone had spotted her drooling over two shirtless, sweaty men.

Ling grinned. "I see that you are watching our regiment heartthrobs fighting. Which one do you fancy? Left or right?"

Even though Mulan had no interested in embroiling herself with a palace romance, if Ling still delusively thought she had fallen for the Prince he might not dig up the truth about her relationship with Shang.

Mulan elbowed him back. "Shush, Ling. That is a dangerous liaison, you better not start gossiping."

"Speaking of the devil, Captain Handsome wants you in his tent right after the morning training," he said, grinning like a lunatic at the connotation his words carried.

When she didn't respond immediately, he repeated. "In. His. Tent...―imagine that." He waggled his brows in line with the naughty innuendos he wanted to deliver.

"Haha. Very funny," Mulan retorted wryly. "For the record, he called Chi-Fu inside his tent too. More than once."

* * *

Mulan headed to Li Shang's tent as she was told. Arriving there, she peeked through the gap in the entrance and her sight fell onto Li Shang's bareback.

He was doing a press up on the floor. He was exerting; lifting and lowering himself, grunting with his efforts as sweat dripped down his abdomen, muscles slick and shining, straining with each push.

"Oh, Hi Captain. Hope I, uh―, didn't disturb, um―, your activity," Mulan stammered when she realized she had been caught staring. How embarrassing! But she couldn't help it. Her eyes seemed to ignore all the commands her brain was firing at her.

She watched her husband's body, marveling at how beautiful it was; forged in fire and pain and blood; and something shifted inside her, clicking into place as she noticed the tightly-corded muscles of his neck, coated in a fine sheen of sweat.

"No, Ping. I actually have  _something_  for you," Shang informed. His expression was grave as usual. It was impossible for Mulan to decode what he had in mind.

 _Something for me?_ For the record, none of that  _'something'_  was ever anything good or pleasant. Mulan didn't dare set her hopes too high on this one. Had any of her stupid blunders caused her to earn this private castigation? Or had anyone else become the victim of her apocalyptic clumsiness without her knowing?

And that was when the killer of all romantic moments arrived. The sound of Chi-Fu's hoarse voice calling Shang reverberated outside the tent. If Mulan didn't know him any better, she thought the Emperor Councilor must have a vendetta against her.

"Wait here, I just need to finish my business with Chi-Fu."

While the Captain was occupied by the presence of the sniveling Emperor Counselor, Mulan methodologically studied the tent which Shang had intimately called his home away from his home.

The interior was very basic, consisting of a cloak, very few clothing, a stack of books, a spare helmet, piles of maps and rudimentary medical supplies. Everything was what Mulan expected from anyone on the battlefield. However, her eyes strayed and landed on a pile of papers next to Shang makeshift desk.

Her heart nearly stopped. The stack of abandoned parchment was filled with Shang's masculine strokes, reciting incomplete sentences and unfinished stories. Shang was a man of few words, finding that action was better suited to his non-verbose proclivity. Then, Mulan saw something poking from Shang's large sack. Mulan pulled the paper from its hiding place and opened it.

It was a letter.  _Her_  letter, to be exact.

Dang, how exactly did he do it every time? Every time she tried to nitpick an excuse to despise him, to be angry with him, he would turn around and do something that melted her heart without even trying.

She scanned through the letter, refreshing her memory of the things she mentioned to Shang weeks back. Despite their relationship and the appellative she used to address him as her husband, her letter was impersonal but polite, written merely as a formality that glossed over the superficial truth of their relationship. There was hardly anything sentimental inside that letter that made it worth keeping as far as she could tell, let alone spend such efforts to reply to it.

Then Mulan heard the sound of heavy footfalls approaching from outside the tent, approaching. Frantically, she returned all of the letters to their original position, however accidentally cluttered the neat stack of scrolls by Shang's bed.

The canisters traveled in diverging directions all over the dirt floor. Hearing the clattering sound from his tent, Shang stormed in. His feet were greeted with numerous cylindrical contraptions. The momentum from his movement caused him to reel forward uncontrollably and crash into Fa Ping. The two of them landed in an inelegant heap, in the middle of the scroll mayhem.

Her hand made contact with his seriously muscled arms, briefly mesmerized by the magic of his touch. The same moment his head shot up towards her, the naked surprise evident in his eyes. He just looked at her for a few moments, before the surprise turned into a hint of amusement and ... embarrassment?  _Impossible_! But hey, at least she had successfully erased that dead look on his face.

Shang gave his arms a push and got up with such athletic grace that all she could do was lay flat on the floor and stare for a while. The captain nonchalantly dusted himself off before offering her his hand.

"Are you alright?"

There was a tiny hint of pink on his cheeks.

_Is he… blushing?_

"Yes… yes, I am, Captain." Mulan spluttered, her heart commanding her fingers to accept his generous helping hand, but her head saying otherwise.

"Ouch!" Thanks to her catastrophic carelessness―she fell again, which was not impossible if your name was Fa Mulan. Fortunately, this time minus a gorgeous captain on top of her. Or was it,  _unfortunately_? She grimaced and started to pull back her foot when she felt his hand, rough and warm, grip her ankle.

"Let me help," he said, efficiently examining her ankle. His finger pressure hit one painful spot. Her breath hitched, and she gasped out loud.

"Looked like you've sprained your ankle," he said, massaging the spot.

Mulan breathed in, trying to swallow. She would have been successful, but then his hand moved from her ankle, slowly up her calf and her throat tightened in a knot. The painful sensation progressively transformed into a soothing feeling that wracked through her entire body. Shang moved closer to inspect her. He was so close that she could feel his breath on her face. She instinctively leaned back to try to create a gap between them.

"I'm going to carry you to the medic tent."

"No, no…" Mulan shook her head, panicky. She didn't know whether her heart could survive another moment of intimate closeness without the risk of heart attack… or swooning.

"I can walk there on my own."

She tried to stand, but her ankle hated her for that.

"Ping!" A pair of toned arms captured her. The word of concern that exploded from his lips sounded much too good on her ears.

 _His body feels the same_ , Mulan remarked dazedly, even when the encounter was brief, she didn't fail to absorb the same feeling as when his frame strained against her on their marital bed. She closed her eyes for a moment just to catch her breath, involuntarily inhaling his scent―a combination of sun, dust and hard work. She remembered the last time she felt this―this heady sensation of floating above a cliff, just getting ready to fall. She felt hot, feverish, unable to speak coherently and her inner-self quivering like jelly.

He seemed to remain calm and deposited her on the side of his bed. "Sit here, let me grab some ointment." His voice came out neutral and conversational, as though nothing had happened.

This time Mulan nodded weakly and submitted to his will. As soon as his rough skin pressed against hers, her heart resumed pounding in rapid beats. The room fell into glacial silence, but his touch had spoken of thousands of words she wanted to hear. Slowly, she stole a glimpse of him from under her lashes, just watching him methodically search for the nerve point, observing the scruff on his face that had gone without a shave for too long, watching his eyebrows draw together in deep concentration, and scrutinizing every hard feature on his face that she found strangely endearing.

But unfortunately, she wasn't the only person who had her eyes on Shang. A sniveling shadow of Chi-Fu emerged through the tent opening. He must've heard the ruckus.

_Again?! Seriously?_

"Captain? Anything wrong?" But his sympathetic gaze transformed into a disapproving scowl at the sight of her.

Mulan was so lost, her brain struggled to remember what had happened a moment ago. She thought Shang's hand would halt its ministrations, now that Chi-Fu's suspicious glare was directly on him. But, she underestimated him perhaps. Shang just gazed back at the Emperor Counselor in a calm manner and spoke, his voice business-like, all the while brushing his rough fingers over her soft skin, driving her madder by the minute. "Fa Ping fell and sprained his ankle."

Chi-Fu's skeptical eyes turned to her, hands ready to take notes. "Oh, is that so?"―cue creepy, distrusting stare.

Shang saw vulnerable Ping cower under Chi-Fu's interrogative stare and his hackles were raised at the man's condemning tone. He immediately responded with a predatory glare that Mulan never wished to see again. "Are you implying that I made things up?" Shang could barely restrain his voice to stay within the thin layer of the tent.

He was glaring at the scrawny advisor, not even trying to conceal the murder in his eyes. Mulan thought of interrupting, perhaps singing a song or faking a cardiac arrest. Thankfully, the murder slowly drained out before she needed to intervene. His hand let go of her leg and came up to the table, cracking his knuckles. Stupid males and their testosterone having no appreciation for the weak hearted.

"I am sure you came back here not just to spy on me?" Shang asked him with his stern, accusative voice.

"Of course not," Chi-Fu smirked victoriously. "I just received another letter from General Li."

With a sigh, Shang stepped away from the boy, nodding silently to dismiss him and ushered the Emperor Counselor toward the exit to speak with him outside.

Admittedly, Shang was left a little bewitched by his youngest recruit. Okay, he might have felt an unexplainable protectiveness towards young Fa Ping, but perhaps it was a big brother instinct. But he was sure the strange butterfly sensation he felt earlier had nothing to do with that. For a split second, he thought his lips might have touched Ping's forehead, but he could have just imagined that. For a boy his age, Ping was exceptionally effeminate. The look in his innocent, dark eyes and his shy expression made Shang feel a little dizzy.

 _What's wrong with me! He is your brother-in-law for goodness sake!_  Shang rebuked himself as he remembered the image of Ping, squirming in embarrassment as a blush rose beneath his sunburnt skin.

* * *

That night, Mulan sat on her bed, looking around to be sure the predominantly male resident of the tent was fast asleep before slipping her finger carefully to remove the tie around the parchment in her hands.

 _My Dear Daughter_   _Fa-Li Mulan,_  it said in skillful strokes.

She was stunned in her seat for a moment, realizing her father had uncovered her disguise. For weeks she had been faithfully writing to him as though she were residing at the Li's family home, keeping up the illusion of her absence. And she did likewise to her mother-in-law, making her thinking she had been living with the Fa's.

Pulling a deep breath, she read the next sentence, one word at a time.

 _There is no right word to describe how I feel right now as I pen this letter to you; when I know that you wear my armor and bear my sword_.  _I know you have made a choice. A hard choice_ ― _which I respect. But let me say a few words._

_When I was young, your grandfather told me this, "If you see something wrong happening in the world, you can either do nothing, or you can do something."_

_I believe none of us are ever going to settle for the first option. It is not in our blood to do so._

… _.and that's why I am not trying to stop you._

 _Whatever the outcome of your training_ ― _failure or success, defeat or victory, please remember that I will always be your proud father no matter what._

Beads of tears hung in the corners of her eyes and a sob clawed it's way up her throat. She could almost hear the deep, patient voice of her father behind every word that was written.

_But war is more complicated than you think. I learned this the hard way, a long, long time ago. I wish I could tell you that there is one bad person to blame for every war. But I cannot. Because we are all to blame._

_And whatever Shang has said to you before, please don't hate him for refusing to take my place_ ― _my duty to China is not his burden to bear. Shang is an honorable man who has gone above and beyond for his country. His job is to take good care of you...and it's your job to honor him._

_Also, rest assured that your secret is safe with me._

_I am sure there will be days when you are afraid and dismayed. Remember that we are in this together. That we are fighting for those who cannot. Do not let fear stop you from living… from dreaming….and from hoping._

_Mulan, someday, when you are standing on the battlefront, you will see many deaths, friends and enemies alike. You will see the lives of the innocent, wasted and destroyed. However, you have to realize that you cannot save everyone in this war. That is not what you went there to do._

_My dear daughter, it is my deepest wish that you return to me your fate was never in my hands to determine._

_If the Gods are willing, we shall be reunited in due time. But in the meantime, this is a goodbye._

_Until we meet again, my precious girl._

_Your father,_

_Fa Zhou_

Memories from when she had been a little girl flooded into her mind. Her father bringing her a new trinket from the village, smiling at the way she always tripped on the doorway, laughing when he tickled her into submission. Memories from her adolescence, how he used to shake his head fondly at her, ruffling her hair when she got annoyed, letting her use whatever part of his armor she wanted to play with, brought a small smile to her lips.

But her musing was rudely interrupted by a rustling sound inside her sackcloth. Reasoning that they were in the vicinity of the woods, and any poisonous animal could well linger and take up residence inside her bag, Mulan took a dry branch and poked the bag. A loud 'Ouch!' was heard.

She knew she shouldn't be pleased to hear that, but she strangely was. Well, because poisonous animal normally couldn't talk.

"What did you poke me for? Is that any way to welcome your sacred guardian?"

Mulan automatically scrambled to the edge of her matt. "Who… who are you?" Her frantic movements disturbed the two male residents next to her. Chien-Po grunted before turning his face to the wall and drifted back to sleep, but no such luck with Ling.

"Mulan," he said sleepily, "What's all the fuss about? Go back to sleep."

"Ling," she whispered lowly into his friend's ear. "Don't you see something? Or at least…  _hear_  something?"

Mushu began to laugh boisterously, Mulan was sure he would wake the entire tent, but even Ling didn't even seem to notice.

"What are you talking about?" The lanky man sat up, rubbing his eyes before looking around to check for any abnormality. "I don't see anything. Maybe you've been staring at Captain Handsome too long. You've begun hallucinating!" he joked as he laid his head back down on his pillow.

"Don't call him that!" Mulan was ready to smite her friend with her pillow for his blatant teasing when the creature interrupted her.

"Now, let's get out of here before the entire regiment thinks you're crazy," he offered. And for whatever unclear reason, Mulan decided to follow him, taking the sack with her.

They walked to the encampment border and slightly beyond to make sure no one could hear them (well, no one could hear her, as she had just established, no one could hear nor see the strange creature).

"But…. Where? Why..―? I mean, what are you?" She gasped when reality struck her. "You are…. _a ghost_?!"

"Here's a hint." He threw out a necklace from inside the sack.

"Wait, you're you came from the pendant?" Mulan picked up the necklace and scrutinized its features. There was a 'yin' symbol on one side and a Phoenix painting on the other. There was no dragon to be seen.

She tilted her head and squinted her eyes, trying to correlate the picture on her pendant with the embodiment of what she thought was a red house lizard holding a coin.

"You are one very odd looking bird," she said, appraising the look of the creature.

"They weren't  _kiddin_ ' when they said you were freakin' nuts," he said in faux annoyance, but the corner of his mouth ticked up with a small smile. "I've been called a lizard, snake, iguana, chameleon… you name it, but a  _bird_? Did you get your eyes tested before joinin' the army?" the creature protested.

"Wait,  _what_?"

She must've said that a little too loudly because the dragon immediately slapped his claws over her mouth to silence her. "Remember, you don't want your comrades to think you're talkin' to a tree."

Mulan lowered her voice. "Who are  _'they'_?" And how dare they called her _freakin' nuts!_

"Your ancestors, Girl! When your father realized you were gone―it took him two weeks, by the way, well done!―he prayed in the family temple, and your great great great great grandfather summoned the greatest guardian of all to come and protect you."

"That is a hell of a lot of greatness in one sentence," Mulan muttered in both bewilderment and amusement at the absurdity of the situation.

"Indeed. Therefore, let me introduce myself," he pounded his gong and then bowed dramatically."My name is Mushu, the Amazing Dragon Chaperone...At your service," he bowed.

Mulan squinted as if it would improve her vision. "You're a dragon?"

"I am a dragon," the creature nodded proudly.

"Oh, sorry. I've misunderstood. I thought you were meant to be the reincarnation of the Phoenix on my pendant," she said, scrutinizing the engraving on the pendant that was suspended on a tan leather string.

"No, no… she is on a perpetual vacation. AWOL. So, I figure since Shang won't need my protection, I may as well  _protect_  you," he clarified.

Mulan wanted to ask how exactly the tiny dragon was going to protect her, but she had a more pressing question.

"You… you know Shang?"

"Of course! I am a mighty divinity. And as part of the yin and yang embodiment, one of my many jobs is to make sure your marriage remains balanced and harmonious."

"You are here to make sure that my marriage is…―" Mulan scoffed incredulously. "There is nothing wrong with our marriage. Shang and I adjusted perfectly to domestic life. I cook, he eats. And then he works, I shop…―"

"A  _workshop_?" clipped the Dragon.

"Yeah, could be," Mulan crossed her arms and grinned smugly. "See?" she crowed." We are living happily ever after! The end."

"Really? Then why are you here hiding away from your husband, masquerading yourself as a man?" the Dragon countered. "And don't you think a mighty deity like me didn't see how his subject was drooling over her own husband's abs while he was training?"

She stiffened at this and averted her face, hoping the Dragon couldn't see how red she was turning. "It's―...it's complicated."

"I bet it is," Mushu scoffed, rolling his eyes at her. "However, you are not the only woman who considers truth to be complicated." He shook his head. "Ladies are always so byzantine."

"Lame excuses are sort of an occupational hazard when living among men. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have some beauty sleep to catch!" she said half scathingly and stormed into the tent.

When she arrived back in her shared living space, she carelessly tossed herself onto her mat and pulled the blanket to the top of her head, earning another unhappy grunt from her snoring neighbors.

Perhaps this was just a dream. A bizarre dream about a mythical creature that worked as a love cupid―a defender of her marriage to a man she hardly knew.

She often wondered, what kind of person Shang was under the steel facade. He was harsh and distant throughout their relationship, and she was equally combative in her response. But her body…and perhaps her heart…had a differing opinion. Her body and heart made her want to be close to him, to touch him and to be cared by him, just like what he did in his tent earlier.

She barely knew him―but there was no question that she loved him.

After an hour staring at the distant point of the tent ceiling, Mulan was resigned to the fact that slumber wouldn't come to her that evening. Especially considering she had just been confronted by a mighty deity

… and thanks to her deal with Yao, the rising grumble from her stomach didn't help one bit.  _Note to self, swapping dinner for forgiveness is never a good idea._

Cursing under her breath, she marched out of the tent.

She noticed that Mushu came to join her, but she didn't want to start another conversation that would lead her into talking about her angst-filled relationship with Shang, so she pretended not to notice him.

With the moonlight to help her navigate through the dark, beaten path, Mulan walked into the nearby woods in search of something to appease her hunger. She found a wild raspberry scrub (or at least what she thought was. It's hard to identify anything in the dark), and popped the berries into her mouth unceremoniously.

She thought she had seen enough surprises in a day but then she caught a glimpse of a familiar athletic form beyond the thicket of the coppice by the river.

"Wait, is that the Prince of Wei?" she heard Mushu whisper into her ear.

"I think so."

What was he doing in the middle of the night? Was he hungry too? But knowing even Chi-Fu would willingly surrender his meal to the Prince, Mulan dismissed that thought as unlikely.

Scrupulously, Mulan prowled closer, carefully so as not to attract unwanted attention.

...And the Prince wasn't alone.

A woman was with him.

She was dressed in a dark-colored  _deel_  and an  _ushanka_  on top of her head. Her face was half concealed by a translucent veil, but judging from her apparel, she was clearly not Chinese.

She was one of the Huns.

Mulan observed quietly from a good distance. There was no way she could pick up the Prince's nor the mysterious woman's expressions. She was trying to read their body language. Shao Wei's back was addressing her, and with a glimpse of luck, she might have been able to see the woman's face. But in such dimly lit woods with a number of trees still between her and them, it wasn't a trivial task. Mulan admonished herself for neglecting her mother's instruction to eat plenty of carrots. Telescopic-vision would be handy in time like this.

And then something unexpected happened. The Prince of Wei pulled back his cloak and bowed in the manner of a nobleman acknowledging a position of authority. "Your Highness, it's been a while."

Beside her, Mushu gasped dramatically. "Holy ancestor! Is she…. a  _princess_?!"

"Worse, she is the princess of the enemy," Mulan pointed out as the woman took off her veil, smiled and returned the Prince's gesture. "You sound ridiculous when you call me that, but it's my pleasure―my Prince," the woman reciprocated.

_...And they are friends. Or perhaps more…_

"How do you know this?" Mushu asked, and Mulan realized she must've spoken her thoughts out loud.

Mulan recognized the way the Princess looked at the Prince of Wei. It was that soft, longing look, full of emotion and hopefulness. It was the same way she looked at Shang.

She shrugged, "That's the beauty of human expression. People keep secrets, but their eyes cannot lie."

"Isn't it ironic that those words coming from you?" Mushu said in jest, but Mulan wasn't in a mood for banter.

_Is it possible that the Prince of Wei is a traitor?_

The words from her father's letter echoed in her mind.  _...war is more complicated than you think. I learned this the hard way, a long, long time ago. I wish I could tell you that there is one bad person to blame for every war. But I cannot._

_...Because we are all to blame._

However, her deep contemplation was rudely interrupted by the presence of a dark shadow looming above her. Large hands covered her mouth before she had a chance to scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late post! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. And this is where the main plot begins to unravel. Also, as you've noticed, that Mushu wasn't a visible, tangible creature as he was in Disney movie. He was just there as the voice of Mulan's consciousness (and to add a lot of sarcasm to the dialogue). Hope this approach will appease everyone. And also note the dialogue among the characters had been tailored to fit the rating, hence Mushu won't be as childish and comical as he was in the movie. He'll be one sarcastic dragon.
> 
> Mushu: "The relationship between husband and wife is very physiological, one is Psycho, and the other one is Logical. Now please don't try to figure out who is who."
> 
> Until the next chapter!


	14. Universe of Possibility

"Be quiet!" the stranger hissed, his grip around Mulan's mouth getting tighter as she fought for release. Mulan wasn't sure why she complied to her captor's command, perhaps because of the familiar way his rough knuckles brushed against her skin, or the comforting, masculine scent gently assaulting her nose at his proximity.

Sensing that she had stopped fighting him, her captor loosened his grip and turned her around to face him. She gasped.

_Shang?!_

"Ping, what are you doing here so late at night? Aren't you aware of how close we are to the Mongolian border?" There was a strange zap that traveled up her arm when their skin made contact; Mulan had to believe that it was nothing but coincidence because their hands had touched plenty of times before without that interesting reaction, during training, sparring and…. _making love_.

"This can't possibly get any worse," she heard Mushu's half amused voice behind her ear.

"Please remember in the future that you're the one who said that," she told him quietly so Shang couldn't hear.

"Can you explain yourself?" Shang demanded. Mulan flinched under his penetrating glare.

"I...―" she sputtered, mustering her courage. _Well, what are you doing here too, Shang?_ Regardless of her desire to question her captain, Mulan wasn't going to challenge Shang's authority. "I was just hungry." That wasn't a lie. She pulled items from her pocket that looked like fruits. "See―?"

If she hadn't been so overwhelmed with her own hormonal tide, she would've registered that the Prince of Wei and the mysterious princess had disappeared from view, swallowed by the dark landscape of the surrounding coppice.

* * *

After threatening Ping that he would face brutal retribution as the consequences of his action, Shang gruffly dismissed his brother-in-law and told the boy never to leave the encampment without gaining permission first.

Shang breathed out a disgruntled sigh upon entering his own tent. The letter from his father that Chi-Fu had delivered earlier still lay on his bed.

If it weren't for Ping jeopardizing his political espionage, he would've gotten a better idea of the identity of the mysterious woman who the Prince had met, or at least get a hint of the nature of their relationship.

No wonder Shao Wei had explicitly requested him not to chaperone him to his private spot in the woods that he claimed to be his 'bathing and toilet' spot which had now turned out to be a secret point of rendezvous. It all made sense.

Perhaps the woman he spied earlier with Shao Wei was a conniving Hun Princess and the Prince of Wei was the jackass who'd been complicit to her seduction―as his father often said, many mighty men had fallen helpless in the arms of a beautiful woman.

Shang sank into his bed as he contemplated his next move. He would definitely spy on the Prince again, and this time, he wouldn't let anything or anyone intervene with his mission.

The next day, Shang had invited his trainee for a hike to survey the new field for their training exercise. After the atrocious day Mulan had yesterday sparring with the Captain, she thought today was going to be a better day.

She was wrong. Very… wrong.

Perhaps it was the cold wind last night combined with another day of brutal training, Mulan woke up with an unpleasant soreness all over her limbs and she felt inexplicably nauseated. Dragging herself to get to the breakfast rush, she was welcomed by Ling’s and Chien-Po’s scrutinizing stares.

"Gods, you look like someone who was raised from the dead," Ling said in shock.

Mulan checked her countenance over the surface of her tea. The slight bruising around her eyes where Shang had hit her square during their sparring session had turned into nasty purple and black discoloration.

"I don't feel much different either," Mulan said, staring into the amber depths of her cup.

"Here, maybe breakfast will do you good," Ling suggested. "You skipped dinner last night. It's no wonder your stomach is upset." He offered her a plate of warm bean buns.

"Actually, I….―" Mulan opened her mouth to tell Ling about her encounter with the Prince of Wei but closed it quickly when she remembered who else she had met that night. She wasn't ready for her best friend to interrogate her about what other 'naughty' things she did with their Captain in the middle of the woods, alone.

"Thanks," Mulan said, pushing the bean bun into her throat without caring much about her womanly etiquette.

"Were you just about to tell me something?"

Before she could weave some cover story to cover her lies, the urge to throw up returned with a vengeance, propelling her into a nearby bush to empty the contents of her stomach.

She heard rapid footsteps as Ling followed right behind her.

"Ping! Are you okay?" Ling's concerned eyes scanned over her as he handed her another warm cup of tea. "I think you should tell Captain Li that you need to see a doctor."

"I'll be fine," she said, sighing gratefully when the warm liquid washed away the residue of the vomit that still burned her throat and abated the growing tide of nausea that pooled in her stomach. "Come on, let's go."

They quickly made a beeline towards the crowd of recruits, who began lining up into their training formation, and camouflaged themselves among the uniformly dressed soldiers. From the front, Mulan could hear Shang sternly barking out his orders.

"Don't rely on your weapon. Because there are times you will be out of arrows, or your bow will break, or you will be without your sword or any other form of armament. But your body can be the most lethal weapon of all. Use your fist, legs, even the skull of your head..."

Ling peered towards Chi-Fu and made a remark about the councillor's jagged array of teeth. "I can see someone who has tried to use teeth as his weapon." Mulan bit down her chuckle, she must admit Ling had an impeccable sense of humor.

"...―thus, it is crucial that we train our body to be the strongest weapon it can be," Shang said, gesturing to a pile of baskets that he had prepared for the drill.

First, they were told to carry a load of stones balanced on the staff across their shoulder. The journey was bearable until the trees that dominated the land became less, and the ground beneath them took on the appearance of an unfriendly, jagged body of rocky mountains. The heat became their mortal enemy as there was no undergrowth providing them with necessary shelter. Mulan's limbs were still aching from the archery and the swimming drill, but giving up was not an option. On top of that, she had a healing ankle that still throbbed painfully and a darkened eye as a result of Shang's lethal punch.

Her father would've been furious if he knew Shang had caused _that_.

Then, the second problem came. The terrain became unbelievably steep and rocky. Shang attached each of their waists with ropes and told the recruits to tether themselves in pairs to ensure each other's safety.

Her limbs were covered in cuts and bruises from the climb. And the heat didn't help either. As the fatigue and exhaustion took its toll, she began to lose her balance, dropping her pack and her staff with a thud.

"Ping, you okay?" Chien-Po's voice came from below her. The man wasn't in any better condition, supporting his own weight must've been a real burden right now.

"Ugh, not really," Mulan admitted, feeling her arms tremble from the load she bore.

"It's not a good idea to train on an empty stomach, and I told you to see a doctor," Ling admonished. Mulan had been giving her dinner to Yao as a form of apology from drowning him in her venture to catch a fish. "Your mind may be willing, but there is only so much that your body can bear."

Mulan chose to ignore Ling's patronizing lecture because ahead of them was a devious looking vertical cliff they had to tackle and down below was a gaping hundred meter drop into a ravine. The thought of falling didn't do her any good, she huffed to coax her courage and energy.

Just as Mulan began to push herself up, she began to see black spots swim across her vision and her thoughts began to feel hazy.

"Help," she managed to whisper as the edges of her vision began closing in. "Help me…―" And everything went black.

"Am I… am I alive?" Mulan asked, quickly rubbing her eyes to restore her vision. She saw the glimpse of her comrades looking down, but more importantly, Shang was there, looming over her with a worried expression cast over his eyes. "Or are we both dead?" she corrected, realizing there was no way the strict captain would ever carry such a soft expression.

"I heard you didn't eat dinner for the last couple of days in a row, and you skipped breakfast this morning." Shang's voice was restored to its stern quality. "Do you know how foolish that is? Our bodies are our weapons, Ping. Our best chance for survival is that we take care of it every chance we get. This cannot happen again!"

"I'm… I'm sorry Captain," she cowered under the towering captain. "It's just that…―"

"You better go freshen yourself up at the river," Shang interrupted. He didn't want to set the bad habit of allowing his recruits to earn his sympathy by throwing in random excuses. "Hurry, you are late for our next exercise."

Mulan dejectedly crawled away, her chest was burning with shame. She thought she would've been accustomed to Shang's imperious attitude and harshness ever since he married her, but that wasn't exactly the case.

* * *

 

From her peripheral vision, she saw Shang stand by the edge of the cliff with a bucket of water balanced on his head. Mulan could hear his instruction faintly across the distance. Something to do with balance and finding your center. Just to imagine how it felt like to stand where he was, made her stomach flip. She wet her face and gulped a generous amount of cold water, letting the coolness repel the dizziness and keep her nausea at bay.

But she didn't expect what came next. Shang readied his combat stance while a few men diligently picked up stones. On his command, the recruits began to throw the stones at him. Some looked like they were using the opportunity to take their vengeance for making them endure such a horrible hike. However, their magnificent Captain thwarted every single attack―spinning his staff skillfully to deflect them all. It was like watching an acrobatic demonstration.

"Now, who would like to try first or….shall I start picking volunteers?" His announcement was acknowledged by grim silence among them. In the best case―one would definitely suffer humiliation, and in the worst case―end up dead at the bottom of the ravine.

Even if she wouldn't score well in the actual drill, she could earn back Shang's favor by volunteering. Mulan steeled herself and took a calming breath before stepping forward to say, "I'll do it, Captain."

Shang gave her his spot, and Mulan tried hard not to imagine the deep crevasse that lurked just beyond the ground she stood on. Thankfully, balancing the bucket took all of her concentration and provided a real distraction not to think about her fear.

It took her a long while to stable the pail on her head, not to mention her top knot made the task more difficult than it already was. Unfortunately, her comrades weren't as patient to wait and already ensued aiming the rocks at her even when she clearly wasn't ready.

On one particular instance, Mulan saw one large rock coming right at her face and she ducked down to avoid. Her sudden movement resulted in the bucket flipping on her head, drenching her right to her toes. Even then, she didn't stop swinging her staff blindly from underneath.

By a little stroke of luck, even with the bucket still covering her field of vision, Mulan managed to dodge a few stones and send one flying right in Shang's direction. Thank goodness for his quick reflexes, that stone did no harm to him. When Mulan sheepishly peeked from underneath her bucket hat, the stone just rolled to the ground after bouncing off Chien-Po's shock-absorbent belly.

Shang mentally ran his palm over his face. He wondered whether he would ever see the warrior in the young Fa Ping.

Mulan really thought that the descent would be more bearable than her journey up. They set off, and things were fine at first. However halfway through, Shang ordered the men to pack double loads in both their packs. Now she could really feel the weight was pulling her down.

She tried to ignore the visceral pain shooting through her back where the staff rested and concentrated on the road in front of her. But eventually exhaustion overtook her senses and she started losing balance. She began to feel dizzy again, but this time her pride prevented her from asking for help.

Eventually, when the strain became too much, she fell right in her tracks, this time with her consciousness still intact. Unfortunately, Ling and Chien-Po were nowhere to be seen and obviously were focused too much on carrying their own load to notice she had hit the earth with a heavy thud, but someone else did.

Mulan noticed an imposing shadow of a figure looming over her. When she looked up, she was greeted with Shang's displeased countenance which clearly spelled out how disappointed he was. He mutely picked up her staff together with her packs before she could verbalize anything.

She breathed out an air of remorse from her chest, watching Shang mount her load on his shoulders and jog swiftly to join the rest. Slowly she struggled to her feet and willed herself to follow the rest. Her muscles still ached badly, but it was nothing compared to her bruised pride.

Mulan tried not to cry as she reclaimed the distance between her and the rest of the men. Not once, but twice―she had failed. She purposely lagged slightly behind, keeping herself unnoticed to avoid questioning stares from the rest as to why she was walking without her packs.

* * *

 A few long, agonizing minutes passed as Shang led the recruits through the treacherous landscape. Everyone was silent with just the sounds of heavy footsteps and rapid breathing to accompany them.

Mulan tried to remain unseen, alas, her stomach seemed to rebel on her idea to remain incognito and threw up its almost non-existent content noisily. She didn't hear the panicked rush of footsteps so, when she felt Shang’s hand on her back, Mulan jumped, startled by his appearance, before groaning as her stomach heaved again. His hand was stroking her back in soothing repetitiveness. The sound of fabric rasping against the caress of his palm twined with the sound of her soft breathing was inexplicably calming.

"I think you are ill," Shang announced with his usual stoic tone but somewhere in his expression was worry while handing her a cup of water. Mulan frantically sipped it, fighting back the pit of exhaustion she felt prickling under her skin. Her armour was beginning to feel constrictive and uncomfortable next to her skin. She shifted restlessly. Her sleep was all messed up due to these long nights this last week and it was just like her to get sick when she was overexerted and tired.

"Ping, you are dismissed for the day. Have a rest and if you don't feel any better, please inform me or Chi-Fu."

Mulan nodded weakly, finding she had no energy to even argue when a few of her teammates began mimicking similar excuses in order to be relinquished from the training.

* * *

 

The training ended late in the evening.

She was reading inside the tent when suddenly she felt something alien stirred in her belly, rising the content of her stomach on the edge of her throat. And the musky odour of a bunch of sweaty men in the badly ventilated tent didn't help one bit. She swallowed back her nausea and focused on the scroll on her hand, but her stomach hated her for it. Without warning, a strong projectile launched from her throat with a vengeance, throwing the content of her dinner and whatever left from the lunch before. Thankfully she had anticipated that and moved away from the crowds.

She felt better after Chi-Fu gave her a portion of his medicinal herbal tea from his private stock, albeit begrudgingly. But even when her muscles begged for mercy and the blisters on her soles burned from too much walking, sleep didn't come easily to her.

Resolving not to disturb Ling and Chien-Po from their rest, she went out to get some air. She knew just the friend who she could pour out all her trouble to.

"Hi boy," Mulan said, stepping into the makeshift stable and patting his horse muzzle. "Are you sick of being cooped up in here? I'm sorry I haven't got a chance to take you out for a walk," she said regretfully. Shang's silent dismissal as he grabbed her packs still danced around her vision. It felt like a poisoned arrow was just pierced through her heart. Unwilling tears fell from her eyes, which she quickly wiped away.

The horse replied to her with a soft, understanding neigh, lowering his head as Mulan rubbed his mane affectionately. She must've sounded so tired and defeated to make Khan regard her with eyes full of sympathy.

"I miss home," she admitted. A vivid recollection of her father's aged face, her grandma's laughter, and Ping's innocent grin painted in her mind. It was such a contrast to the brutal drill, the mocking men and the sneering Emperor counsellor she had to face on a daily basis. But it was the thought of Shang's contemptuous countenance that reduced her to tears. She was desperate to earn his approval, his respect… his _love_ ―because she knew he would never accept her as his equal.

….let alone as his perfect bride.

The thought made her heart ache even more.

* * *

Shao Wei lazily dragged himself out of his tent. He had been postponing the task of taking his horse for a walk. Alas, because everyone else was training in the nearby mountain the whole day, no one was available to offer him a reprieve.

He could've done this earlier in the day when the sun was still shining, and he could bask in the warmth, absorbing the beauty of the landscape rather than prowling in the cold, dark night with nothing to see.

Okay, yeah, he shouldn't procrastinate any longer. Pulling his cloak closer to block out the cold, late-autumn wind, he made his way into the stable. It was then he realized that he wasn't alone. Another two-legged figure was present inside the stable. The distinct pixie-cut build and slightly effeminate movements helped Shao Wei to identify the identity of his subject.

_Fa Ping._

Shao Wei sank closer to the nearby wall to avoid being noticed and watched the interaction closely. He saw the black steed lean his face closer as though offering his master whatever silent consolation he could.

"I know I need to hang in there. Failing the training is not an option. It's the only way to prevent Baba from going to the battlefront and Ping from becoming an orphan." He heard her tell the beast.

It took a few seconds for Shao Wei to let the information coalesce in his mind and, after stitching all the facts together, finally the revelation struck him. Fa Ping was none other than Fa Mulan. A daughter with boundless love for her family who had decided to face the unknown to preserve her father's life and ensure her brother's future.

He'd seen the way her face had fallen when Shang sent her away that evening. For the first time, he'd seen her as more than just a shy, clueless and awkward man in disguise. He'd seen a daughter―who was wounded that her captain had flagged her as a failure and disappointed that she had let her family down again. Also, the fact that Shang was her husband, having him reject her in the regiment couldn't be anymore hurtful. It made Shao wonder what sort of damage had been done to her with this whole arrangement. It was hard to pinpoint whose indiscretions had brought on her predicament.

A few minutes later, Mulan and Khan veered away from the footpath along the river, galloping to her secret spot where no one came. (And she was thankful Mushu was sensible enough to leave her alone).

Mist enveloped the sky, making the moon looked beautiful in its flaws, perfectly round and casting a slight glow upon everything it touched. The spot was hidden behind trees, bathed in moonlight and the grass was so thick it cushioned every step. The smell of leaves and raw nature was making her feel better. The noise in the training encampment was distant and quickly drowned out by the sound of Khan's rhythmic pounding.

Mulan halted Khan when she saw the wide, green expanse stretch out in front of them, tranquil and inviting. Mulan inhaled deeply as she enjoyed the picturesque surrounding. She dismounted from Khan and guided him to the pasture.

"Here boy, you may eat as you please," she said, smiling as she removed Khan's reins. Khan neighed happily before ducking his head and gobbling up the fresh grass. It must've tasted better than his usual dry hay and dry oats he had every day.

Meanwhile, Mulan deposited herself near the lake, watching its calm surface mirror a nearly perfect image of the snowy mountain ridges that seemed to expand infinitely into the distance. She closed her eyes, letting the noise of small crickets ensconce her senses. This was her peaceful place, away from all the chaos of her life.

* * *

 Why Shao Wei wanted to drink the water from the brook at this unholy hour was a mystery to Shang. But Shang, being the subservient soldier that he'd always been, didn't question the absurdity of Shao Wei's strange request. Besides, the letter from his father a couple of days ago had raised his suspicions about Shao Wei and his possible involvement in a serious treachery against the Emperor.

His speculation made perfect sense if anyone recalled that Shao Wei's father, Prince Wei Zhang, was the second in line to the throne after the Emperor. While Wei Zhang may be a little too old to plan a military coup, it wouldn't stop him from influencing and conspiring with his oldest son to do so.

At the entrance of the stable, Shang caught a glimpse of his white stallion. "Hi Qing, I know it's late… but I need your favor," Shang told the horse.

Qing merely nickered, the low rumble from his throat indicating he was happy to see Shang whatever the reason. Shang raked his hand through the horse's mane and smiled. "Sorry to trouble you. But this is the Prince's order."

Before long, Qing galloped into the woods heading towards the clearing where Shao Wei had told him to go.

That was when he saw a flash of movement of what appeared to be a person lounging beneath a tree. His first instinct was to hide and he carefully prowled closer to check whether it was a spy for the Hun's army. But as soon as the silhouette stood up, Shang dropped his stance. It looked like a boy, and he was certain no Huns' guerilla was _that_ petite.

Something in his brain clicked: it was Fa Ping.

And the boy wasn't lounging, he was reading something on his lap. Because, a minute later the boy stood in his battle stance, throwing empty punches and kicks at the nearby tree.

 _He is reading a practice scroll_ , Shang thought.

As he moved closer to the young boy, he gave no indication that he had noticed his approach. Shang berated Ping's lack of vigilance and surveillance considering the Hun army could roam through the area and ambush at any given time. Worse still, they could kidnap him to be tortured for information.

 _Fa Ping._ Shang shook his head as he cited the boy's name. Fa Ping came in for training; with his impertinence, and his smart-ass attitude; causing trouble just by breathing. But as the training days ticked by, Fa Ping was proving there was much more to him than his unseeming appearance. He might be smallish, lanky and have none of the muscle density expected of a soldier, but his perseverance and tenacity were indescribable.

In correlation to that, Shang remembered how similar Ping was to his wife, Mulan, who was the opposite polarity to the traditional expectation of a wife―rebellious and stubborn. Perhaps this had something to do with the Fa genes, and somewhere in his brain he incongruously hoped that the kid had something more in him than just clumsiness.

"I didn't know you had a secret hideout," he said, repressing the natural touch of steel in his voice and trying to be casual.

"Cap...Captain Li!"

When the boy was close enough, Shang noticed his puffy eyes. Fa Ping had been crying. Even when he knew harshness was important to ingrain discipline, something deep inside him felt inexplicably tormented to know he was the cause of this pain.

"Please, just call me Brother Li outside training time. We are family after all."

* * *

 

Even from the dimmed light of the moon, Mulan could see his sincere smile, she felt her body relax.

Narrowing her eyes in concentration, she threw her right fist at the tree and then her left before Shang came around behind her and put his hands on her waist, causing her to pause as the air seemed to leave her in a whoosh.

"Keep your hips squared," he commented softly, turning her slightly and she nodded mutely as all of her focus went straight to the warmth spreading across her skin from where his hands were. "And keep your wrists straight so you don't jam them."

"Okay," she managed to get out and he lingered for a fraction of a second longer before dropping his hands and taking a step to the side. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw him flex his hands before balling them into fists at his sides.

She took his instruction and threw some more punches that landed more solidly, even though she doubted it would inflict any real damage to someone, it was enough to cause the corners of her mouth to flick upwards in satisfaction. This would definitely come in handy when the situation required it.

"Yes, like that," he remarked and she could hear the pride lacing his voice. Or was she imagining it? Nevermind. A little positivity wouldn't hurt.

Biting her lip to keep her smile from growing into an obnoxiously wide grin, she refocused on the cadence of her hits.

"What are you doing at this time night, Ping? Aren't you supposed to be resting?"

Mulan stayed quiet. She didn't want Shang's pity. His job here wasn't to look after his little, helpless brother-in-law. His job here was to hone and train her into a formidable weapon on the battlefield.

Sensing Ping wasn't going to speak to him, Shang prodded further. "Are you mad at me?"

"I…I'm sorry Brother Shang, I am just… a little homesick." There was half-truth in that.

"Is this your first time away from home?" he asked, taking the liberty to sit next to him and reclining there, loosening his sash and rolling his robe sleeves up.

"Yes, Si… I mean, Brother Shang. My mother just passed away a few months ago, and I've come here unprepared. I know I am still young, weak and unskillful, but I…―"

"I understand," he said gently. And there was again, a rare, genuine smile tugging at his lips. Mulan could feel her own lips reciprocating the notion.

"I remember your mother, she was wise, poised and beautiful. Just like your sister." He said the words with a matter-of-fact tone; one that you might use to state that blood was red and the sky was blue; but his earnest honestly sent a fluttery feeling rippling through her.

Mulan could feel the tip of her toes tingling with happiness. _Shang thinks I am beautiful?_ But the voice of her rationale pushed back the sudden outburst of giddiness. _For goodness sake, Mulan, he was just trying to be diplomatic, you are his brother-in-law after all._

Shang let out another rare smile, perfectly unaware that his unconscious grace and the power of his words just unleashed an onslaught of conflicting emotions inside Mulan's chest.

* * *

 "Where the hell is she?!"

"Shhh….Calm down, Ling!" Chien-Po nearly slapped his meaty palm across Ling’s mouth to silence his furious tirade over their missing comrade. His venture to the toilet had been abandoned when he realized Mulan was missing. By the clean arrangement of her bed it was obvious she hadn't touched it, let alone slept on it, and it well past midnight.

"Chien-Po, the Huns may have kidnapped her!" _That is plausible, right?_

"But… but why?" Chien-Po didn't seem to understand Ling's logic. "Why would a pixie-cut soldier with a feminine stature be an item of interest to a Hun soldier anyway?"

Ling shrugged and threw his arms up in frustration. "Hell, I don't know! I just… I just…―"

"Look, we'll find her," Chien-Po resolved quickly, trying to calm his friend who was hyperventilating like a fish out of water. "Now please, just calm down… because someone may hear your…―"

"She is heading towards the clearing south of the forest," a voice stage whispered from a nearby tent entrance.

"Your Highness!" Both men fell on their knee.

"Don't worry. I've sent Captain Li to make sure she is fine," Shao Wei told them.

 _She_ ! Did he say _'she'_? Ling was about to point out the wrong gender the Prince had applied to Ping's name, but Chien-Po's question deflected his intention. "What are they doing this late at night?"

"Who knows," Shao Wei replied with a mischievous grin. Ling swore the Prince knew something they didn't―because there was a hint of sexual innuendo in the way he was smirking at them.

" _Training_ perhaps?"

At the point of rendezvous Shao Wei had directed them to, Ling and Chien-Po exchanged a look as Captain Li and Ping gravitated towards each other. Accepting a man's offer for training may not be the most efficient method to 'lure and conquer' a man's heart, but it seemed to work like magic in Captain Li's case.

"So, this is what the Prince of Wei categorizes as _training_?"

"Don't you think Mulan is a little bit more than charmed by our Captain?" Chien-Po prompted without shifting his eyes.

"I know," Ling replied, whispering. Even from the reasonable distance where they stood, Ling could easily tell how flustered Mulan was when Captain Li touched her arms to correct her stance. _No wonder she hasn't learned anything yet!_

"Alas, she is married," Chien-Po piped in.

The statement wiped all traces of amusement from Ling's face. "I dare not say this to her, but I fear the retribution of her jealous husband should he find out."

* * *

 From years of their friendship, Ling had learned that Mulan was many things, but disloyal was not one of them. And Mulan had never come across as a temptress or seductress either. She would be the last person on earth that he could imagine capable of having an extramarital affair. Thus, her interaction with Captain Li was completely out of character. He felt like he was missing some vital information here.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Chien-Po asked as he glanced in Mulan's direction, watching Shang easily dodge her uncoordinated punches.

"I don't think she will improve. Especially when she hasn't stopped staring at him like a beguile maiden looking at hot, bare-chested man."

"She _is_ a maiden looking at hot, bare-chested man. And the bare-chested man is touching her."

"It's supposed to be a punch, not a touch. Besides, Mulan is no longer a maiden, she is married, remember?"

"But you wouldn't blush and smile when someone 'punched' you. Right?"

"No. No. Of course not."

But there was no denying the look in her eyes, Ling could immediately tell that it wasn't exactly a platonic look. There was quite a reasonable dose of genuine affection. Having a harmless crush on an incredibly attractive man was one thing, but falling madly in love with a man that was never going to look at her in the same way…

Well, that was just reckless.

* * *

 "Ah, the beauty is finally waking up I see." Mulan squinted her eyes, directly towards the source of the voice while her hands tried to shield herself from the violent tickling that had disturbed her ever-so-short-slumber. "I believe you owe us a big explanation," Ling said, crossing his arms and giving her a chance to recollect her thoughts. "Consider me generous that I’m just tickling you when I am perfectly capable of pouring a bucket of cold water over you instead."

"What do you mean?" Mulan asked, rubbing her bleary eyes to restore her foggy vision.

Ling scoffed, feeling slightly betrayed that his best friend had chosen to keep a secret from him. "I believe you were spending the night with…―"

Suddenly, a familiar, unpleasant sensation stirred her stomach and Mulan raised her hand to stall her friend, dashing out of the tent in a hurry. She heard their rapid footfalls approaching as she retched and heaved convulsively.

"You seriously need to see a doctor," Ling pointed out, completely forgetting about the subject he had wanted to broach earlier.

"I have no time for that," Mulan replied, wiping her mouth with her sleeve ungracefully.

"Forget about the real battle. How can you train like this? And what if it gets worse?"

"It won't. I'll manage," Mulan dismissed Ling's rhetoric stubbornly.

But it was Chien-Po who suddenly interjected, a look of unease on his face. "Mulan…" he said, pulling her robe sleeve so she was only a few inches away from him. Mulan was about to rebuke him for calling her by her maiden name when he continued,"Have you… have you _missed_ something this month?" he whispered gingerly.

"Missed _something_? Like what?" Mulan stared at her friend who chewed his lower lip anxiously. She really didn't like the fearful look on his face.

Chien-Po gestured vaguely to his lower abdomen parts. "You know…" he trailed off. "Su told me about this thing women have, and the early symptoms of…―"

"Oh dear ancestor," Ling cut him off and sucked in air sharply.

"Are you suggesting that she may be… _pregnant_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm sorry for the cliffhanger...
> 
> Review are adored, kudos and faves are cherished :-)


	15. A Sweet Gift, Oddly Placed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologise for the wait! Life is getting on the way recently, with exams and all that. In return, here is a slightly longer chapter. I've drafted the next 2-3 chapter so hopefully we won't have to wait too long for that.
> 
> All the grammatical mistakes are mine.
> 
> Enjoy!

"But, I… How could it be…―?" Mulan sputtered. Her mind rack havoc with all the thoughts, the consequences, and the implication should she really was...  _pregnant_.

"Excuse me?" Ling rolled his eyes. "You know where a baby comes from, don't you, my friend?" he patted her back with mock sympathy. "More importantly you  _know_  how it is  _made_!"

Well, it really didn't take a genius to make an intelligent guess on it. All the symptoms were there, the fatigue, the unexplainable appetite change, the nausea…―

A serious knot appeared to have formed, causing her internal organs to clench in displeasure and she couldn't fathom why. Shouldn't she be happy she was carrying the Fa-Li future heir? Isn't this the child she was so desired? Would Shang finally saw her as a dutiful wife… more so, his equal? And, assuming if the baby were a boy, she would be extending General Li's and her father's legacy for another generation. She could even hear Grandma Fa cheering, "Ancestor be praised, we have descendant!" chant while dancing around the kitchen. But no… not right now. Disguising herself as a man was hard enough―imagine, trying to hide her pregnant belly would be… well, impossible!

"I…―" She finally registered Ling and Chien-Po who still stood there, wrinkling their brows and tilting their head. They could be her best of friends, friends whom she conceded everything about. Well,  _almost_  everything. But at the moment, her mind and emotions were all over the place, and she needed time and space to process…  _this_. "I had to go," she said quickly and disappeared before her friends could stop her.

"I heard what happen," Mushu said from his hiding place inside the collar of her robe. "Your ancestors weren't joking when they said you had a reckless inclination. If you don't want to be pregnant you should…―Hey, you are not listening!" he scoffed grumpily when Mulan completely ignored his existence.

"Are you done?" Mulan sighed.

"On the brighter light, you have a husband, girl," he consoled. "You have a home to go to."

 _Does she?_ What was home without a family if it wasn't just a structure? And what was a family without love and respect? All she could find in her home was tyrannical mother-in-law and her emotionally absent husband.

Mushu had taken her silence as a sign of disapproval, so he went on. "You can't stay here, Mulan. Whether you like it or not. It's impossible. Besides, you don't want these people mistaken you for Chien-Po when they send you home."

If that was a joke, it wasn't at all funny. Not at her current predicament it wasn't. She couldn't risk losing an innocent soul at the expense of her  _mission_. But could she really afford to abort her mission? In her mind, she imagined Shang's infuriated reaction if she revealed her disguise and the impending doom that awaited her at home when Li Yue, her mother-in-law, found out where she had been.

And yet, these were the easy worries, for neither Shang nor Li-Yue had ever cared about her. Truly. It was her father's disappointed face that would crush her defence to powder.

How would he react if he knew her foolish disguise? She was supposed to be at the Li's home, becoming an exemplary wife that brought honour to the Fa, and here she was - a terrible soldier even so terrible daughter. Mulan sighed dejectedly. She wasn't looking forward to having that hard conversation with her father anytime soon.

"Thanks for the cheerful reminder, Mushu."

* * *

Next morning came. Golden light diffused through the membrane of mist through the encampment. Mushu rubbed his bleary eyes before realising that almost the entire resident of the tent was gone and all their bed were vacated.

"Mulan, Girl! Wake up!" the Dragon hollered for the umpteenth time.

"Can you give me another five minutes?" came Mulan's sleepy reply.

"You have to wake up! You have Captain Handsome to impress, remember?!"

"Oh!" Her eyes jolted open and she leapt out of her bed like being possessed. She frantically grabbed her training clothes, ignoring his lecture about the importance of breakfast and simply mouthing "I have no time for that".

"Well, you would if you wake up earlier" _,_ Mushu grumbled. "Now now… remember, don't overexert yourself. Until you see the midwife… you shouldn't….―"

"Don't worry Mushu; I'm a big girl."

"Yeah yeah… things have been simpler when you were small," he tutted when Mulan found out she had worn her training trousers backwards.

A frigid wind blew from the tent entrance causing her to shiver. "Don't forget to wear one extra layer of clothing, the autumn coming to an end and….―"

"Mushu, I say I'm a  _big_  girl."

Mushu bit his lips. "Right you are."

Mushu's first impression of Shang― he stroke as someone who would not tolerate tardiness. But above all, he didn't understand why Mulan was so desperate to impress her husband: both as a man or a woman. Perhaps this was the way they made their relationship worked? Who knows.

Have you heard the phrase "opposites attract"? That was the first thing came to Mushu's mind when he saw Shang and Mulan. They were like oil and water. Mulan was clever, beguiling and creative (with a slight maverick inclination to be perfectly honest). She was like fireworks, exciting and unpredictable. And Shang… he may be good looking, but he was as interesting as rice porridge. For the record, Mushu didn't find porridge particularly exciting. Shang was the most monotonous, dreary creature Mushu had ever seen. The things he said seemed all to be predictable and repetitive, and his reaction whether he was excited, happy or sad seemed to be always...tepid and bland.

And here he was, secretly watching Shang who was condescendingly barking the same order for hundredth time, yet, Mulan stared at him like he was the answer to all her prayer.

"Girl, you have to stop staring at him and queue for breakfast. Otherwise, you'll be left with none!" chastised the Dragon. Mulan realised she had been caught immediately tore her eyes from the glimpse of Shang who already started yelling instruction for the recruits to begin their warm up.

"I'm not staring at him! I'm thinking!"

"Really?" Mushu scoffed, half annoyed and half amused. "Just admit it. Captain Handsome is quite pleasant to look at. You don't have to feel bad to confess that you  _fancy_  him. He  _is_  yours, you know."

"It's not like I like him," she denied, slipping into her training robe. "I was  _forced_  to marry him," she replied with a forced airiness. "I mean, right now, we're clearly just platonic and not…―He doesn't think of me like he lo…―I didn't mean…―"

"You don't?" Mushu called out incredulously; his mouth fell into a dramatic 'o' shape. "And you persisted when you tell me you have a perfectly happy, loving marriage?"

"Our marriage is balanced and harmonious," she defended, "Besides, love isn't an essential ingredient in marriage. Shang and I are always civil to each other," which everyone knew was a big fat lie considering how they spent their first night as a married couple was by doing a sword fight.

"Right right―I  _totally_  believe you," Mushu rebutted sarcastically. He wanted to debate Mulan's stubborn reply, but he decided there was a better time for having such in-depth discussion.

"Ok, whatever. Now quick, let's go."

* * *

She was about to skip her breakfast when her stomach voiced its disapproval, especially after a night with very little food. Thankfully no sign of nausea on the horizon, so she slipped into the kitchen and greeted with the sight of deserted breakfast tent―save it for Chef Zhang who was washing the dishes. Just then, from the tent entrance, Mushu caught a glimpse of Shang abandoning his robes before leading the warm-up drill.

"Does he… always take off his shirt on every occasion?" Mushu said, tilting his head conspicuously to Shang's direction, right when he executed a particular movement that enhanced the tension of the fabric around his ass.

"Too hot maybe," Mulan commented nonchalantly, paying extra attention to the hard planes of Shang's chest.

"Too… What?"

And she seemed to realise underlying innuendo she implied and corrected. "When I say hot―I mean temperature hot, not figurative hot."

"I can see that," Mushu smirked mischievously, tapping his claw on his chin. "But you did think he is figuratively hot as well,  _right_? I can tell from the way you can't stop calling him  _hot_."

"Not again…" she moaned, but Mushu babbled on. "Mulan, my powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your armor..―" His eyes moved towards her chest causing her to gasp, pulling whatever material she could find to cover the spot.

"Mushu!" She smacked him. The dragon made a distressed sound of shock.

"Jeez, I mean I can see right through your heart!" he said, rubbing the sore spot. Mulan glared at him. "Fine...fine, sorry. I was just teasing you. Ok, now quick, or Captain Shirtless will order you to clean the horses for being late again."

"Don't call him that, you can lose your head," she rebuked.

"Hey, I am a mighty deity. I can call my subject whatever I like," he chuckled. "Oh, this training could be so much fun after all," he chimed excitedly while his claws busy dispensing condiment into the porridge.

"Mushu…" she pleaded. "I know no one else can hear or see you, but,  _can_  you stop talking for a minute?" She already sat on the table and was ready to divulge into her breakfast as quick as she could but Mushu's constant babbling made her lost track of the situation.

Mushu, of course, ignored Mulan's wish, instead presenting the bowl of porridge decorated with eggs and a soya sauce. "I believe the word you are searching for is ' _thank'_  and ' _you'_."

* * *

Chien-Po, can you now go and get some food supplies from the nearby market?" ordered Chef Zhang as he entered the tent where the recruits congregated.

After the initial discussion, Chien-Po and Ling had crafted a plan that discreetly would allow Mulan to go out of the encampment to see a healer for a checkup.

"I'm sorry Chef, I… ―" Chien-Po faked an erratic cough. "I'm not feeling very well. But Ping is willing to take my errands." It was a bad lie, for ailment had almost no place in Chien-Po overtly-nourished body, but what's important was everyone else believed him.

"May I come with him, Chef?" prompted Ling. "I can help him with some heavy stuff that he  _couldn't_  carry." Mulan rolled her eyes and glared at him. The plan was for her to go  _alone_  but Ling seemed to have a different idea.

"I am quite capable of handling this myself, Sir," she addressed Chef Zhang. Despite her awareness of lack of benefit in strength department compared to her male counterparts, Mulan disliked some sexist remark and attitude that suggested that she was a liability to the team.

Ling exhaled at her punctuated answer. "I was only  _trying_  to help," he whispered to her. Seemed like his definition of "help" require a significant adjustment. "Remember... _that_?" he glared at Mulan's still flat belly and pursed his lips in response to her verbal castigation. "Heavy things aren't good for the…―" he stopped himself when he realised Chef Zhang was closely watching their exchange.

Mulan only replied by breathing loudly through her nose and Chef Zhang guffawed at the innocent banter, oblivious to the hidden meaning of their conversation.

"Appreciate your generous offer, Ling, but Ping won't be carrying those alone. We are feeding a regiment, not a family," he snorted ungracefully between chuckle. "I'd say Khan is more useful than you right now, but if you wish, you can keep Ping accompany."

"Oh, thank you, Sir!"

Ling grinned at her cockily. Mulan knew the man wouldn't just give up the fight so she could let another exasperated sigh.

Okay, Ling could be annoying as hell, but deep down she knew her best friend was mortally worried for her. And sometimes she would have to thank the gods for a stubborn friend like Ling because, yes, sometimes she needed it. However, right now, she just wanted to be alone. She wanted to be alone when the midwife delivered the "bad" news, so she could cry or could laugh deliriously, scream or do other unreasonable behaviours without anyone questioning her logic.

But perhaps alone wasn't what she needed.

* * *

Minutes later, the two recruits descended towards the horse stable to procure Khan and a wagon. Ling jotted down the list that Chien-Po dictated and compiled into a list of things to buy.

As they turned down one of the winding cobblestone roads and finally into one quiet alleyway far from the main street, standing in front of them was a small opening with a wooden sign plastered across the top. "Ms. Chua, Healer and Herbalist."

There was hardly words between them during the entire journey. Ling figured that Mulan perhaps wanted some quiet time to confront her thoughts. But right then when he saw his friend's afflicted face, he couldn't help but to place his hand on her shoulder in a silent pledge.  _Whatever the outcome, I am here._

He realised this wasn't the right time to be judgemental. These couple of weeks had laden Mulan with enough duress, and now she was faced with the bitter dilemma of choosing between her baby or her family honour.

* * *

To say she was anxious was an understatement. As soon as Ling left, in the empty waiting room she felt a wave anxiety of what she was about to face. Fear that stroke her hardest left her off guard, overwhelmed her with its enormity.

"What are your symptoms?" asked the old woman who presumably Ms. Chua.

Mulan rattled off the things she was feeling while Ms. Chua told her to lay down on the examination table.

"So, you think you might be pregnant?" she asked again after she quizzed Mulan on her symptoms. She had a feel of Mulan's abdomen and recorded her vitals.

It was clear that Mulan was unspeakably tense that no words seemed to be able to answer a very simple question.

"Oh,  _unexpected_  I see," the old woman added to the silence, as he began mixing and grinding herbs on the bowl.

 _Unwanted_  may be the right word.

Thankfully, the old woman wasn't nosy enough to ask about why she was dressed in a man's outfit.

"Don't you use any form of birth control dear?" she said while busying herself grinding some herbal concoction.

Birth control, if such things weren't a myth in this era, had been largely limited to ' _pull out and pray_ ,' which had not boasted the best success rate and depended considerably on the willingness of obviously  _unwilling_  men. And of course, there was some horrible smelling tea that many women believed to prevent procreation to which Mulan had seen was nothing but pointless torture.

"No," she answered, not bothering to cover the rueful edge on her tone. She was dreading the consequences. Nine-month from now, she would become a mother. Was she even ready for this? She had just learned to be a wife, which she had failed miserably, and now how was she supposed to be a mother? To raise a child, to know how to protect it and love it?

"I initially thought it was something I ate," Mulan said tremulously. "But, I have been missing my period…so I...―"

Ms. Chua nodded understandingly.

Other women would be joyful, no doubt. Perhaps thinking of a sweet, but overly complicated way to deliver the delightful message to their husband, and imagining their husband would sweep them into his arms, peppered her face, her abdomen with kisses wet with tears of pure unadulterated joy.

But a child wasn't what Mulan had wished for.

She had wished for peace, so her father would be allowed to retire at home.

She wished her mother was still here. Alive. A mother that had been years becoming her rock. Her mother, with her calm smile and Chinese efficiency, who brew her tea and fetched warm towel―still, a classic triumph―and sat with her. Her mother with her practical wisdom and her bright smile that seemed capable of calming a treacherous sea.

The old woman seemed to read her mind well and when Mulan had calmed enough to hear it, she said, "Not everyone is meant to be a mother, I'll not lie to you." And she took her hand in her own, and continued soothingly, "But be not fearful, child. All you have to do is believe that you can do it," she gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "A child is a  _gift_ ," she said with her warm, wrinkly smile, and wisdom that weaved on her aged skin. "He or she will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, saving smaller, a home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten….and the future worth living for."

* * *

Mulan had stepped out of the examination room to collect her own urine sample that apparently required by Ms. Chua for further test. She could hear Ms. Chua was attending to someone else when she returned, so Mulan propped herself on the bench in the waiting room to wait for her turn. A woman, perhaps the same age as her, cradling something noisy and wriggly between her arms.

It soon became apparent it was a baby, who at the moment waving his angry fist demanding his will to be fulfilled.

"I know, I know," the young woman murmured as her baby's wails started to gain in volume. She settled her baby in her arms, discreetly exposed her breast and pressed the nipple into his mouth. Her son winced first then started to suck hungrily as soon as the first drop of milk touched his tongue.

And a few moments after, a young man in soldiers outfit, burst into the room.

"Here you are," he said, smiling down at the baby who didn't even bother to notice his father's presence. "Oh, Mei here is your lunch," the man told his wife, pulling two warm buns from his sack. "Char siew bun, your favourite."

"Oh thank you! By the way, can you give me his bib? Front pocket," his wife said distractedly. "There is also a white burp cloth somewhere."

The man obligated and carefully placed the small square of fabric underneath his son's chin then the cloth on his wife's lap. After the few first seconds of rapid suckling, the baby settled to a more leisurely pace, completely oblivious of his attentive parents who were observing him carefully.

"Feeling better?" the young woman cooed to the baby. There was something deeply satisfying to be able to appease your child and know you were giving him exactly what he needed, and it always was a special moment to watch the way a baby would gradually relax, his eyes first staring back at her then slowly drifting closed every now and then in apparent milk bliss.

"I think it's my turn now," her husband stretched his hands.

"It's funny to hear that comes from you, Liu Kang. A couple of weeks ago you were terrified of holding him. You know that he can't even bite you, he doesn't have any teeth yet," she goaded but handing over the sleepy baby into her husband's arm. "A man who can put down a Hun soldier is afraid of a baby. Unbelievable."

"Don't try to divert the conversation," the man replied in faux-annoyance, but the smile he had as he welcomed the sleepy baby in his arms was priceless.

"Here, eat your lunch before they get cold," he told his wife between rocking on his toe and humming some lullaby.

"He has to be burped," the young mother warned her husband.

"Yeah well, I'm a guy, I know all about burps."

She waited until her husband's shoulder was covered with the burp cloth before handing him their son.

"Woah. You're getting heavy, Son," the young man started to gently pat his son's back, while his wife seemed to stare, mesmerized for a few seconds, drinking the tender moment between two most important men in her life.

"I'll leave one for you. You haven't eaten since morning," the woman remarked while taking a large bite of her bun. She kept one of the buns back into the sackcloth for her husband. "Crazy how something as simple as having lunch now seemed like a special treat," she added. Uncaring for her womanly decorum, she polished her lunch in record time.

"Not that I would change it for anything in the world," her husband beamed to their son. "He's growing up nicely, isn't he? You'll be a strong boy that protects your sister."

"Wait…―what?" the woman paused, her eyebrows reaching her hairline, and a loud burp suddenly erupted from their boy interrupted the moment.

"Atta boy! Way to go!"

The woman laughed at the ridiculous pride her husband was showing before waving apologetically at Mulan who was caught watching in surprise as well.

"He is just five months old and you already think about the next one?" the young woman reprimanded her husband, "I still yet to lose all the baby fat from this pregnancy and I….―" she groaned as her palms rested on the curvy flesh of her lower abdomen. No matter how many pots of slimming tea she would drink, those few extra pounds didn't want to leave. Sometimes a woman just needed a little bit of time to accept that her stomach would never be flawless anymore―a lump of excess skin now clearly visible even though she knew it would eventually shrink. The stretch marks would hopefully follow suit.

"My love, listen. Your curves are there because you carried our child and gave him life. All I see when I look at them is how lucky I am that we get to share that. You and I are finally where we were supposed to be. They're as pretty as you in my eyes. And God knows I find you stunning, more so right now."

It was so stupidly sweet that Mulan's heart ached, which was ridiculous because they were strangers and people have babies every day and there was no reason for her eyes to swell with tears.

"Hold on," the man frowned as he sniffed the air. "Oh, awesome! Your son pooped so… you can have him back."

"Oh great, so now he is  _my_  son?" his wife rolled her eyes at him, before coming out of the waiting room with their baby, muttering something like."How can something so small poop so much?"

Her gaze settles upon the young man who stood by the door, his eyes watching the glimpse of his wife and son, and grinning like he was insane. Her heart skips a beat all over again as she wondered:

_A child will make love stronger…._

A strange kind of fearful euphoria building deep inside of her. Could she hope? Would this child earn her way into Shang's iron heart?

Her own mother told her, her father was cold and distant to begin with. Until one day in spring when the plum blossom scent was hanging in the air―she was born in the early hours of twilight, entering the world with a loud scream. Fa Mulan weighed not more than a bag of rice, and in her mother's entirely objective opinion and despite her less favourable gender in Chinese society, she was the most perfect child in existence.

She was their gift.

Fa Mulan may not born of love, but she had brought so much love into her parent's life.

And so would her baby.

She felt warm tears cruising down her cheeks, in which she hastily swept away with the back of her hand.

"Excuse me," suddenly the young man, with half-eaten bread bun, reached out his hand with a linen cloth. "It may have milk stains, but I guarantee you it's clean."

Mulan blamed her tears on the pregnancy. And Mr. Liu was kind enough not to correct her.

* * *

Ling came to the establishment an hour later to find the place was filled with women and their relatives.

"Ling! Over here!"

Her best friend looked mildly surprised at how composed she was. She went in with a great deal amount of trepidation and came out as calm as a monk after hundred years of meditation.

"You have to pee on a bag of barley?" Ling commented dumbly after Mulan told him of the procedure and showed him a sack of grain she got to bring home.

"How could a bag of barley tell you if you are pregnant or not?" he whispered with a truly adorably awkward grimace when another patient congratulated him with zealous handshake and babbled a train of tips for  _expectant_  father―completely ignoring the fact that Ms. Chua had told them Mulan's pregnancy wasn't confirmed yet. But no one could blame them for the false assumption. Ling was the man that took someone else's presumably pregnant woman to see a midwife. But he quickly returned to the point he couldn't seem to move past, "But seriously, how could a bag of grain tell you?"

"It apparently could. If it grows, it means there is a baby inside," another patient, a woman carrying a toddler chimed in. She bit her lips to contain her smile when Ling's brows knotted incredulously. "You can try if you want." A trickle of light amusement radiated on her face when Ling's jaw dropped comically as she finished her sentence.

"That's…― _no way_!"

"You'll be surprised if it grew," Mulan entreated cheekily, hiding her smile behind a concealing hand when Ling's eyes bugged out.

Not knowing how to retaliate, Ling only let a long-suffering sigh. "And I wistfully thought you are the one who needed a moral support. I guess I was wrong," he said with a great amount of irritation.

"I'm sorry, OK? Old habits die hard," she chuckled.

"Good, I am glad you are feeling better," Ling deadpanned. "Too bad, there is no way this grain told us the gender. I need to know if I'm going to be Uncle Ling, Protector of Dainty Princess, or Uncle Ling, the Kung Fu coach."

Their friendly argument was interrupted when a woman, who was clearly in labour, was ushered into the premises. The wife was cool calm and radiant, a glorious force, even through contraction pain. Her husband, however, was a nervous, anxious, fainting wreck who was about to pass out anytime.

"Now," Ling said, looking like he had seen a ghost. "I would  _never_  envy any married men," he said, as the attention shifted and the woman's labour wail started to gain in volume. "I can understand why some men find the job as a eunuch highly appealing."

Mulan smiled indulgently at him. Her child would  _love_  Uncle Ling, she thought.

* * *

They resumed their shopping trip decoy right after visiting the healer.

As they turned down one of the winding cobblestone roads, they found an open shop that boasts a storefront of fresh fruit and vegetables, an orchestra of colour and rejuvenating fragrance of tangerines.

 _The Mighty Dragon_ , the sign proclaims in Mandarin, and then in smaller print, in both Hokkien and Hakka,  _fruit and vegs supplier_.

The bell over the door chimed merrily as they stepped over the threshold, and Mulan found herself and Ling were the only patron in the store.

"Be with you in just a second!" a female voice shouted from the back of the store, in an accent that sounds extremely classy, muffled slightly by the rustling of something that sounded like boxes being shuffled about, and so Mulan took this time to appraise the store. It's a pleasant place, an array of freshly harvested cherry blossom on one corner among crates of vegetables, watermelon, tangerine and cherries, with enough light from the sales windows to stop it from becoming dull.

But she couldn't help but notice a stack of empty crates, for all that it did feature a display of abnormally vacant shelf, reflecting the difficult time the country currently had to endure.

"Sorry about that," the voice said from behind her, clearer now, and as she and Ling started to turn towards it.

The lady at the desk greeted them with a beatific smile. She was tall and willowy, with long, naturally waving raven hair that was currently cascading down her back. Her skin was porcelain smooth, free from blemishes. She seemed to be what many men often described as a perfect courting material. In short, she was beautiful, definitely way too beautiful to be a vegetable seller in a wet market.

"May I help you, gentleman?" she asked primly. The scent of expensive cologne filled the air making Mulan felt lightheaded. Even worse, Ling looked like he could faint anytime.

"We need a dozen of pumpkin," Mulan said, her eyes briefly jumped on Ling to make sure he wasn't suddenly dropped unconscious.

She swept a cursory glance to the crate behind her. "I'm afraid we are running out of pumpkins."

"What's next to the watermelon, isn't that… pumpkin?" Mulan pointed out.

" _This_?" the girl pointed at a pile of daffodil bulbs.

"No, next to it," Mulan directed.

She moved her hands before checking for their approval again.

"Yes," Mulan said once her finger hovered on the spoken vegetables. "We need twelve of those." Mulan stuck out of her finger and grabbed Ling's hand to show the extra two. "Could you work the best price for us? Every little discount will help."

"I may have to call my uncle," the girl informed them before disappearing behind the door.

"Is it just me, or I find it creepy we met a vegetable seller who seems to lack proficiency in identifying the difference between a fruit and a flower?" Mulan whispered suspiciously.

"Nevermind that, I am sure the father will be as charming," Ling replied dazedly.

But the man who appeared to greet them was remotely far from warm grin and gregarious continence. In fact, he had snappy, irritable attitude that Mulan sure could be damaging to his business.

"What do you want?"

"Twelve...er―pumpkin, Sir," Mulan pointed out.

"Maybe we should've stick with the usual vendor," Mulan mused when the man seemed to be busy counting his stock and scribbling something on the paper.

"No way, the previous vendor was selling us a pumpkin a size of my thumb! How can that feed the entire regiment?" Ling disapproved, right when the man gruffly shoved the paper on his face. "Here is the bill."

"This is hardly fit the budget," Mulan exasperated, looking at the list and comparing all the quoted prices. "Are you sure we can't negotiate a better price, Sir? This is for the soldiers."

"This is already the best offer I can provide. The food is scarce now. If you want to haggle the price just go elsewhere," the man snapped.

The girl who had been entirely silent, cleared her throat, and with her softest voice purred, "Uncle Yin, can I have a word with you for a moment?"

The man steeled, suddenly bit his lips and rubbing the back of his neck. There was a strange, powerful authority came from the girl as she demurely fiddled with the end of her braids and blinked in faux-innocence, "We'll be right back with you in a moment."

And Mulan wasn't at all surprised when they got discounted price of what they need and more.

* * *

"I met a girl today!" announced Ling proudly as they were peeling potatoes and pumpkin.

Chien-Po's mouth fell open, looking back at Mulan for confirmation and she paid him with an approving wink.

"No way…!" he wondered aloud, though he rubbed his hands in excitement and scooted closer. "Tell me about it!"

"She even gave me a discount!" bragged Ling proudly.

"She gave  _us_  a discount," Mulan corrected.

"Still, quite an accomplishment."

"I saw heart coming out of his eyes and all sappy," Mulan smirked at him. "Prepare to get jobless Chien-Po."

"With pleasure," he smiled broadly. Chef Zhang entered the tent and asking Fa Ping to help him making the fire, so after excusing herself, Mulan went off.

"So, how's the  _visit_?" Chien-Po asked quietly when Mulan had disappeared from view.

"Apparently not confirmed yet," Ling said carefully after scanning over his shoulder making sure no eavesdropper around. "The old woman told her to wee on a handful of barley."

"Seriously? Are you sure you've seen a healer and not a dodgy soothsayer…or… witch doctor…―?"

"No," Ling replied. "I am sure she is in good hands. I've asked a few other patients."

"So when will we know?" Chien-Po asked.

"We will have to wait for another two or three weeks. But, I am quite positive. The midwife said all the symptoms were there," Ling explained.

"I bet she won't stop training, not until she knew for sure that she is preg….―," Chien-Po shook his head, gazing over the sight of their captain who was diligently doing a hundred press-up while waiting for dinner time. "I'm just worried something may happen before that. I just can't see Mulan finally came clean to Captain Li."

"You know it is a death sentence for smuggling a woman in here let alone a woman who was pretending to be a man, right?" Ling said in matter-of-factly tone.

"I know. But...however strict and ruthless, Captain Li is a good man. I doubt he is going to execute a woman with a child, right?" Chien-Po stated his reasoning. "It's just…. I don't see Mulan would ever explain her situation to Captain Li."

"Well," Ling said resolutely. "If she won't tell him―Then, I will."


	16. Something that I can never have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apology for any mistakes, this chapter is not beta-ed yet.

Ting Ting camped out on the kitchen, facing the veranda, painting her toenails while Tian was braiding her hair and serenading a tune.

"According to this, I'll marry a warrior," Ting Ting announced, alternating between sweeping the brush of vermillion hue on her nails and turning the page of the latest astrological prediction published by a famous astrologer.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah."

"Poor guy. He would have to cook, washes the dish and work super hard, so you can spend the time to do your nail and shopping," Tian replied with a glint of amusement. "Not to mention he would have to foot my salary too."

Ting Ting was not in the mood to banter as she did not engage with the retort as she usually did. Ignoring Tian's mock, she went on. "It says that this week will be my auspicious week to find lo..―"

"Hold on that thought," Tian said, jumping into her feet when she heard the familiar chime of the bell indicating someone had entered into the front shop. She pushed her head to take a peek between the curtain and said with an excited squeal, "It's the gentleman in armour that came last week! I bet he is coming for you; I swear I saw hearts coming out of his eyes when he...―"

"Shush, Tian!"

The two of them headed towards the front shop. As soon as hearing their footstep, the soldier snapped into attention.

"Morning, Ladies," he said, a little bit breathlessly. And from his stature, he couldn't be more than a few years older than her. He  _couldn't_  be categorised as handsome, but still attractive and his smile...well, it was kind of cute.

"Yes, how can we help?" Tian said primly. Next to her, Ting Ting gracefully flicked her hair off her shoulder, inviting all attention towards the pale column of her neck. Tian bit a grin when she saw the soldier's eyes darkened as they travelled up her collarbone.

"Do you know how to kill infatuation?" Tian whispered loudly into Ting Ting's ears. "Next time I'll come here with a cannon."

Realizing Tian's sarcastic retort, the soldier blinked and rubbed his eyes as though he was just woken up from a serious coma. "I...uh, I come to buy more pumpkin," he said, grinning awkwardly towards them.

"Are you sure you are here for the pumpkin?" Tian said in faux seriousness. "Not... _anything_  else? Or shall I say…  _anyone…_  else?"

The soldier gasped, looking flustered and terrified like a little child being caught red-handed for stealing sweets. "I…―"

"Save your breath soldier. We all knew," Tian said between her laugh and batted her eyes towards Ting Ting in a manner she could only describe as suggestive. "I shall leave you two to deal with some…. pumpkin  _business_ ," Tian said with a mischievous grin.

"One more word and you can kiss you payday goodbye," Ting Ting hissed with fake outrage as Tian made her exit with a hysterical laugh.

"Sorry about my friend. By the way, I am Ting Ting," she said politely.

"Oh, uh… I am Ling. Such a...uh… pretty name," he stuttered, standing mesmerised. His eyes glazed over as though he suddenly slipped into a particularly pleasant daydream.

"Very….very pretty nail you have there," Ling said, twisting the hem of his training robe.

Ting Ting could only smile. Ling was so nervous it was acutely adorable. "Oh, thanks! You are the first one to notice."

"Am I?"

"Yes," Ting Ting said.

"Well… red is my favourite colour," he said quietly. "It's hard not to notice."

"I like red too."

"Really? What a coincidence!" He was positively beaming up at her as he spoke.

Feeling emboldened, Ting Ting went on and proposed. "I know this kind of forward for a lady to ask this, considering we just met a handful of time. But if you are free, would you like to join me for a cup of tea?"

* * *

 Although Ling had politely implied that he was more than capable loading the pumpkin into his cart himself, Ting Ting still made an effort to assist him.

"So, here is the pumpkin. Is your encampment far from here? Because this they are quite heavy to car…―"

Their pleasantries were interrupted by a whirlwind of dust, clothes, and dark hair streaking into her shop, missing the garlands of onion and a crate of eggs by only mere centimetres.

"Please tell me if he is gone!" the man―though really, hardly more than a boy―said, thankfully managing to a stop, albeit a little on the tipsy side. He hid behind Ling, as though he was avoiding  _something_ … or perhaps  _someone_.

Ling ignored the boy's plea. "Ping, what did I say about…?"

After making sure whoever in pursuit of him was not in view, the boy went out from behind him, sheepishly smiling. "Uh, sorry… am I interrupting something?"

"What do you think?" Ling said, crossing his arms and tapping one of his feet on the ground.

A trickle of light amusement running through her at Ling's long-suffering tone. Earlier, Ling had a chance to tell her a story about the brutal training he went through before facing the battlefront. He told her about the food ration, the strict schedule, the inhumane amount of physical exercise. There was nothing pleasant about it. However, during this time of trial, Ling had a handful of friends who kept him standing on his toes. Chien-Po and Chef Zhang to name a few. And there was Ping, his best friend, who  _accidentally_  provoked the entire battalion into a fighting frenzy.

"Call me Ting Ting," she offered pleasantly to the boy, and though she already knows the answer, civility is of vital importance in a first impression, "And you are…?"

"...Fa Ping!" he said with an adorable, lopsided grin.

Ping had lost one of his shoes, his man bun half loose, and traces of soot covering part of his face. "People call me Ping," he said between heave and brushing his soothed forehead, turning to Ling whose eyes comically bugged out from their sockets.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't run but… there is a very large, burly man and his toes..―" Ping looked around and grinned smugly. "I think he lost me."

"Ping, save it," Ling interrupted with a sigh, and Ting Ting's amusement only grew at Ling's ultra-dramatic eye-roll.

"Pleased to meet you, Ping," she said, smiling. "You seems to be very young to be a soldier. How old are you?"

Ping slapped his own chest, coughed a few time before producing the most unconvincing masculine falsetto she ever heard. "Fourteen this year, Miss," he said, posture exuding false confidence.

Ling cleared his throat to invite everyone's attention. "As we were discussing, Ping, I am taking Miss Ting Ting out for a drink, just ten minutes…"

"I can handle the rest of the list," the boy chipped in quickly. He might be clumsy but was clever enough to conclude this "tea party" was more than a friendly social call. And most importantly, he wasn't invited.

"Okay, so you need to go and see Mr. Ping, the potter. Please double check the number of cups and make sure no crack in each one of them," Ling reminded as he gave the boy some money. "...And try not to burn and crash into anything while I'm gone," Ling said, sparing a look that Ting Ting could only describe as an exasperated big brother over his shoulder, which the boy returned with a half-apologetic, half-defensive.

"Look, Chi-Fu's tent was just the  _one_  time!" and he tripped on Ling's shoes, nearly fell back into one of the empty crates if Ling's astounding reflexes didn't catch him.

Ting Ting felt her smile grow only incrementally larger. She rather imagined it had been more than  _one_  time.

"You two go have fun," Ping threw a cheeky wink at them. "...And Ling, make sure the lady didn't have to pay," he added cheerfully, slapping a teasing hand down on Ling's shoulder as he exited.

Ting Ting thought she was doing quite well at battling down the laugh that wanted to escape her throat.

Then, there was a crash, and a yelp, followed by an angry yell, and Ling's exasperated, "Ping, what did I just say?!" echoed out from the room.

Ting Ting lost her valiant fight and succumbed to her mirth.

* * *

 

This had become a routine for a couple of weeks to come―Ling and Ping coming to town to do their errands and then Ting Ting would invite them for tea. Ping's answer had always been the same though. He said he hated tea and the smell of chamomile made him felt nauseous.

"See you two later at five," Ping said.

Ting Ting watched until Ping's petite figure swallowed among the mass of people doing their business in the market square and blended in into indistinguishable form. "He is an interesting chap," she said, tongue only partially in cheek as they head into the tea house.

Ling, in turn, took the opportunity to tear his eyes away from her face, because she just indeed noticed him staring, "The horse cart he totalled certainly disagreed. Our captain even suspected the enemy sent him to jeopardize us from the inside."

"Really?"Ting Ting said.  _He is undeniably handsome when blushing,_  she thought to herself. "But what can they do to him? Put him in jail so he stopped harming anyone?"

"D'aww…" Tian said from behind them. She had agreed to join them but prefer to sit by the porch, claiming she liked the scent of cold, fresh air. Ting Ting knew this wasn't true, but played along because Ling didn't know who she or Tian was just yet. "Ping is too cute for a jail."

Minutes later, they sat at the tea house, on the corner table, hands cradling matching little ceramic china, the steam of oolong wafted from them.

Then, Ling told a story about his embarrassing experience of losing a couple of teeth during training and his regret for cutting gym. The conversation drifted to the highlight of his rather poor sporting career, joining the village Chinese Football club only to got his shin fractured a week after.

Ting Ting continued to find it endlessly amusing. Ling was a great storyteller.

"So, when you get to know Ping?"

Ling leaned back with a deep exhale and a sentimental smile before he began.

He and Ping were childhood friends. They had a great age gap, but for the record, Ping always owned the latest  _gadget_  from Chang'an, his father would bring him when he returned. It only helped that Ping's house geographically laid right next to his. The last time he saw Ping was when the lad turned ten when he left the village and moved elsewhere with his parents.

They reunited as strangers, as men with stories and secret of their own. And as a man, Ling's life and concern were remotely different from Ping who was barely a teenager. But war had a strange ability to make family out of strangers, brothers out of friends, and after all, they'd been through together these couple of weeks, Ping was probably his best of friend and so he let himself be drawn back into this friendship.

Ling didn't say much about Ping's current family situation other than the reason why the young man had decided to join the battalion in place of his elderly father―a story that she found deeply heart moving.

Ping didn't come across as how a soldier should look like, in fact pretty would be the right word to describe how he looked. Pretty Ping. And for whatever reason, she felt his voice somehow unnaturally low, almost like her after eating too much deep fried stuff the night before.

She knew Ling notice it too, but he was too much of a gentleman to mention it.

Then Ling told her about his training days, the endless hikes, the aiming practice, sword fighting lesson….and what expected of him when the training ended. It was hard not to think that he, and hundreds of other soldiers alike, were crafted into becoming a weapon of destruction.

And there was silence.

"I  _hate_  war," Ting Ting admitted finally. She truly meant every word, but he didn't expect Ling to understand the depth of it. Of course, the man didn't know who she really was. "I wish for peace. I am tired of hearing people killing each other for nothing. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for soldiers, but I don't see how violence could solve anything."

Ling took a slow swig of his tea as though he was thinking.

"No soldier delight in war," he replied with unexpected seriousness, but there was no ire in his tone. "We were trained for it, yes, it is not war that had fueled us. It is for protection."

And after hearing such wisdom, she has no room for anything in her heart but… _admiration_.

"You're a good man, Ling. I know that."

And then, Ling twined his fingers together and then, to look up to her, with a pragmatic air, she found no way she could take her hand back.

"Once a great war strategist told me: True soldiers fight not because what they hate is in front of them, but rather because what they love…. is behind them," Ling explained, with the most exquisite smile she couldn't help but to return.

_...because what they love is behind them._

Tian was right, this week's horoscope seemed to be quite accurate. Ting Ting knew she could only hope.

* * *

 

"So….You fancy the lanky one?" Tian asked her with a hushed tone when they retreated back into the shop. She definitely noticed the giddy smile on Ting Ting's face as she cradled a small bouquet of osmanthus Ling had shyly given as they parted.

"Who's his name again?  _Ling_...is it not?" Again Ting Ting didn't answer straight away. Her mind was drifted into the tea house where Ling…―"

"Earth to Ting Ting," Tian snapped her finger.

"W―what?"

"Yes, you…―," Tian repeated, jabbing her finger to Ting Ting's chest. "You  _like_  that Ling guy. I can tell."

"Who? Me? Fancy him? Ack.  _No_ ," Ting Ting denied, trying to calm her racing heart that seemed to rebel in every reference of Ling's name.

Tian rolled her eyes. "Your blushing face said otherwise."

"Who is blushing?!" Ting Ting said with faux innocence. "We are…. We are just friends. We just met. I hardly  _know_  him!"

" _Friends_  who hold hands and look into each other eyes," Tian snorted.

"He didn't hold my hand! He...he accidentally  _touched_  it. He thought it was his chopsticks!" Ting Ting said lamely.

"Oh, come on!" Tian snickered. "You don't use chopsticks to drink tea. I swear I can hear your heart pounding from out there."

Ting Ting shrunk at her seat, and Tian smiled. "But fear not. I think the sentiment is mutual," she said in a hushed tone.

"People have meaningless crushes all the time," Ting Ting replied. The worst feeling in the world was when you liked someone... and turned out he was just having an empty fling―superficial sense of admiration, nothing more.

Tian smiled and bid Ting Ting to follow her into her bedroom and shut the door behind them.

"He can barely speak to you. All he does was staring. And I just can see the stupefied affection spilling from his eyes. It definitely not just a meaningless crush."

"But many men in the court looked at me that way!"

"Many men who tried to betroth you knew you are an affluent royalty, but this guy… all he knew that you are a daughter of a vegetable seller who couldn't tell the difference between pumpkin and flower bulbs."

"Yes, naming the produce would've been my limit." Ting Ting chuckled, their pleasant conversation replayed in her head. "I am sure Ling wasn't at all skinny. It's an optical illusion. Besides, he has a great sense of humour."

"...said the girl who said it was merely a  _friendly_  chat," Tian teased. She laughed when Ting Ting turned red from head to toe. "It's hard to believe, really. You're living among many affluent nobility, handsome princes, wealthy traders and powerful politician… why a soldier?"

"Sorry to say that my feelings know no money, status or position. Besides, those royal brats are usually shallow, childish, insubstantial….. and uninteresting."

Tian nodded in contemplative understanding. "And are going to say anything about this to Prince Shao about this…. new  _friend_  of yours?"

Ting Ting shrugged noncommittally. "Maybe. When the time is right."

Tian cringed. "There won't ever be a right time for  _that_. You know how insanely protective he is of you since…-" Tian chewed her lips, watching rising sadness and anger brimming on Ting Ting's delicate features. "What I want to say is….―There is no question that he loves you. I mean, he had gone this far to hide you in here, travelled great length, pulled various connection to make you stay away from the grip of political demands and…―"

"If he loved me as he claimed, then he'll understand," Ting Ting told her firmly. "I'm tired of being men's property."

"I am just saying…―" Tian trailed off. She knew this kind of discussion would never reach conclusive ends. Ting Ting may look like a fragile rose in a glass vessel, but her will and wants were tougher than steel. "Talking of which, we haven't seen Shao for weeks," Tian mentioned, changing the subject.

"Yes. I heard he has a lot on his plate lately."

"Oh no, don't tell me. Is it a girl he took home from the bar two months ago has claimed she is pregnant with the royal heir? Or… he's overshot his weekly allowance in a gambling den?" They both laughed. Shao's irresponsible lifestyle had often provided necessary entertainment to them both.

"He cut me off if he heard us bad mouthing him. Ack. No. I can't survive without my nail polish provision!"

"Relaaax," Tian placated. "We all knew he is perverted and we still love him for it."

They both giggled again.

"So, what's his problem now? Has Chi-Fu been agonising him?"

"No. Much worse," Ting Ting said. "He said he has a personal-space-invasion problem after General Li assigned his son―Captain Li Shang―who had been watching him like an eagle 24/7. General Li was gravely concerned about Shao's safety and commanded Captain Li to follow Shao anywhere around like his shadow."

"Anywhere?"

"Yes. I heard there is no privacy, not even in the toilet!"

"Ugh. No. That's…. That's bad," Tian made a face. "But it may be a good thing. You know how many Huns want his head hanging on their wall?"

"I know," Ting Ting sighed into her tea.

"Isn't that ironic? After what Prince Wei Zhang did to General Li and Miss Xia many years ago? And now their son and Shao Wei…―"

"Well, General Li is a loyal man, that I know for certain. I don't think he would ever compromise his integrity over an old love affair," Ting Ting said. "And if General Li does have a personal grudge or vendetta against Prince Wei Zhang, I doubt he will cross the line and goes as far as harming the royal heir. Shao Wei has nothing to do with this mess."

"It is surprising that General Li hasn't chop your father's head off. He had plenty of chance to do so," Tian said. "No offence there."

"None taken," Ting Ting replied. "And given the way he treated me...calling him a father will be a compliment," she added grimly.

"Hey, I'm sure Shao's plan will work out this time. And things will return to the way it was." Tian soothed.

"No," Ting Ting shook her head. "I don't want things to return to the way it was. Court life is a poison," she said bitterly. "It is not a place to find real laughter or love. Everyone pecks everyone else for the slightest scrap of power. It's…. It's a terrible place. I much prefer to be here, leading a peasant life in peace and simplicity," she sighed somberly to herself.

"Although the Palace is as beautiful and opulent as many had heard it recited in novels and poems, it is also a hard, cold place full of ambitions and relentless jealousies. It's nice to be here, to be 'Ting Ting, the daughter of the vegetable seller'. No one dictates where I'd need to go, what I'd need to say, who I'll marry… No one gives a damn about what I...―"

"Hey...hey," Tian rubbed her back comfortingly when Ting Ting emotion ran high. "You'll get there in the end. It's just...―It takes time."

"You must think there is something wrong with me," Ting Ting told her, leaning with her shoulder slumped. " _Freedom_. Yes. I am willing to trade it with my wealth…. my privilege or my life! Don't ask me why. Maybe it's the allure of something that I can never have."

"Sorry, I shouldn't…―I shouldn't burden you with my problem," Ting Ting looked over to Tian who was resting her head on her palm, eyes glazed with both burden and sympathy.

"Not at all," Tian replied quickly and rose to her feet. "I think I'd better help my father to write his report back to Prince Shao Wei. I can't let him wondering too long what has happened to his favourite princess," she announced, watching Ting Ting toying with the bouquet of osmanthus Ling had given her earlier.

"Of course," Ting Ting muttered but grabbed Tian by the hand as she walked. "Tian…―"

"Not a word," she promised. "To Prince Shao Wei, to my father. To anyone. On the Emperor's honour, not a word."

"On the Emperor's honour?" Ting Ting said, impressed. Tension left her body, and all her worry seemed to melt away. "Tian. I―… I  _like_  him."

Ting Ting honestly thought Tian would hoot, squeal, and tease her to no end like she usually did. But instead, Tian only looked over her shoulder, astonished at her frankness, then turned carefully and smiled. "That's wonderful. I am happy for you."

"Thank you. I owe you one. I promise you once I'm free from all this, I will reward you and your father accordingly."

Tian smiled, squeezing their clasped hand together in a gesture of reassurance. " _Family_  owe nothing," she said simply and left.

* * *

 

_This morning a load full of gunpowder and rockets arrived together with an army of escorted convoy from Imperial City. Shang must've thought that his men were ready for the final stage of their training―learning to use and aim the weaponry on the targets._

_Unlike arrows, rockets were dispatched in a limited amount, so the recruits had to learn to use it judiciously and efficiently. Unfortunately, it was easier to be said than done. First, none of his recruits managed to aim the missile on its target, sending it on random direction that caused themselves more harm than the enemies._

_Well, one of his recruits actually hit a target―not the desired target, but still, Ping lit the fuse and Ling, who was too eager to help, accidentally stumbled on it. In his panic moment to restore the position of the rocket, Ping set it upright, firing the missile to the sky and towards their distant encampment and went indiscriminately straight to Chi-Fu's tent, incinerating the whole thing instantly._

_Shang couldn't filter his awe. The boy could be both lethal and accurate as much as clumsy and weak. Ping was certainly a very unpredictable soldier._

" _He could decimate the entire country," complained Chi-Fu._

" _He is still very young. Give him time to…―"_

" _The time that we don't have," Chi-Fu grumbled. "Captain Li, while I appreciate your long-suffering attitude towards your brother-in-law, I can't see this kind of treatment do him any good."_

Shang throw himself on the makeshift bed, letting "yet another" apocalyptic episode of training replayed in his mind. He stretched his arms and grunted, feeling his muscle ached in an unpleasant way, adding towards his already foul mood after seeing the havoc his recruit had caused. Today was not any better than last week.

 _It would take a dynasty to make a soldier out of this mess. C_ hi-Fu's disdainful babble echoed in his head. Perhaps the bony councillor was right when he objected his father's decision to put him on promotion. He was too young, too inexperienced in this field. It wasn't the skill that Shang was lacking. It was the ability to motivate and encourage the recruits that he struggled.

Then, he remembered Fa Ping. The young man was clearly fallen behind his peer. In the beginning, Shang gave him the benefit of the doubt due to his young age and his comparatively lanky frame. Soon he realized he had singled out and compromised his hard approach.

He spared some of his time to spar with him in private. He let Ping go with only stern words after he was caught cheating in archery. He assisted him when he collapsed during the hike while he wouldn't say he would prepare to do the same should it was Ling or Yao who fell behind. And if Ping's blunder still sounded innocent enough, Shang had allowed the boy to get away after nearly barbecued Chi-Fu alive.

 _You liked him, that's why―_ said the voice in his head. _You like him like a man to a woman would! You loved him, and you WANTED him._

 _No! That's...that's absurd!_  Shang ran both of his hand on his face and groaned frustratedly. He realised that this special treatment had to stop. Not only this behaviour had kindled his feeling for Ping to root deeper, but detrimental to Ping's overall behaviour. The boy needed to learn to fend himself! Shang wasn't here to babysit; he was here to turned the boy into a man―a soldier worthy of battle. In the real war, there was no playing the-protective-big-brother, there was no mercy, and there was no room for mistakes - and Fa Ping was simply a liability to the team and a danger even to himself.

 _Perhaps, perhaps I should just dismiss him… sending him home._ Shang considered. But in all honesty, there was a part of him that won't let the boy go―a dark part of him that strangely wanted Ping to stay… and to be  _close_  to him.

 _Snap it you pervert! He is your brother-in-law!_ rebuked the voice in his head. _Are you going to let him stay and watch him being butchered by a Hun, can you?_

_But what would you tell him? You'll tell him that he is hopeless and better to seek a career elsewhere? That's going to crush his soul!_

His train of thoughts was interrupted by a voice in front of his tent. "Captain Li?"

"Chi-Fu," Shang greeted, opening the entrance of his tent. He didn't even bother to mask his irritation of having the old councillor disturbing him this late. "Is there anything I can do for you this  _late_  at night?"

"May I come in Captain?" he said, his tone urgent.

"Of course," Shang said. "Please do sit."  _This is better be important,_ he muttered under his breath.

"This is about the Prince of Wei," Chi-Fu said quietly and scrupulously, which Shang never thought the prying councillor ever capable to do. "He wrote me a note, saying he'll be gone for about a week for a meeting in Chang'an." He produced a terse note from inside his pocket that Shang recognised immediately as Shao Wei's―he had never seen such eloquent, formal strokes elsewhere.

Shang took a moment to read. There was no abnormality that perked suspicion in its content. It was just a polite information stating the address and purpose of his absence.

"Anything wrong with  _this_?"

"Captain Li, I'd like to point out that we are on the strict order to watch Prince Shao Wei whereabouts," Chi-Fu said, a little vexed. "And that's the responsibility that unfortunately fell on you and I."

 _Well, perhaps he wants to go to see some street slattern and unwanted to be seen._  Shang thought to himself.  _He is famous for relentless partying, cavorting with women, drinking and smoking, is he not?_  But Shang didn't say it out loud, knowing it would just raise a heated debate and further lecture.

"I understand. I'll go and catch up with him tomorrow morning," Shang said diplomatically. Chi-Fu nodded and seemed to be pleased with Shang's instantaneous compliance.

"Anything else?" Shang asked when Chi-Fu still parked himself on the mat in front of his bedroll, unmoved. "I have an early drill to run, and if you want me to catch up with the Prince, I might..―"

"Captain Li," Chi-Fu sounded inexplicably grim. "Have you saw Prince of Wei doing something odd lately?"

Shang gave him a blank look. " _Odd_? Like what?"

"Like sneaking out when you are not watching."

That hit him. The episode of the Prince's encounter with a foreign princess flashed in his mind. But Shang schooled his expression to his usual steely mask and calmly replied,"Why do you ask? Have you caught him doing something he shouldn't?" Shang baited.

"Well, I didn't. But Chien-Po saw him around eight weeks ago. He was in the Xi'an market doing our weekly shopping when he saw him."

"Eight weeks ago? Then why you just notify me now?!"

Chi-Fu bristled at Shang's accusation. "Because there is a spreading rumour that Princess Wei Ting is still alive!" He snapped, slamming the piece of formal looking parchment on Shang's table. "I received  _this_  yesterday. One of the Imperial Intelligence spot her at the…—"

"...Xi'an market?" Shang gasped, shocked and aghast as he read the report from the Palace Intelligence. The eighteen years old Princess of Wei had been mysteriously missing since last year. Some had speculated she was kidnapped by anonymous guerilla―Huns or Chinese no one knew, but no ransom demand had ever arrived. Further down the road, to avoid public outcry and abate relentless gossip, the Palace official had announced that the Princess had died of strange illness.

"Precisely," Chi-Fu took the parchment back and kept it under his sash. "She was talking to one of our soldiers when they did," Chi-Fu added.

Shang ran through his memory. He recalled Chef Zhang had sent two of his recruits to buy their weekly supply. Yes, Ling and Ping. Shang made a mental note to ask the two about this. After all, Xi'an was the closest village to the encampment…―

A look of comprehension crossed Chi-Fu's face, which immediately overshadowed by fear. "Are you saying that the Prince of Wei is up to something…—something that related to our missing Princess?" Something on the back of his mind was telling him this wasn't a mere coincidence.

Suddenly everything fell into its place. Shang realized what had brought Shao Wei to join the low ranking regiment, what had made him willing to endure uncomfortable lifestyle and pointless training with a bunch of men that never be his match. Because all this nonsense was just a  _decoy_! An illusion that he had been crafting to mislead people from seeing his real motive and intention!

 _But...why? Why would anyone like a Princess of Wei fake her own kidnapping?_ Shang's mind begged.  _Has Father known about this hence ordered me to follow the Prince closely in the hope he would eventually unravel some clues?_ Another thought occurred to him.

Just as he thought spiralled into a bottomless pit, another voice echoed in front of his tent and Shang dismissed Chi-Fu in a hurry.

"Ling?"

"Evening Captain. Hope I didn't disturb you."

Shang frowned when he realized the conflicted look on the recruit's face. "No. Is there...anything wrong?"

"Captain Li, I know it's late. But there is something you need to know….―"

"Yes?" Shang turned, watching the hesitation on the recruit's face. "I…―This is….―This is about Fa Ping."

* * *

 

It was a long journey from Xi'an to Kangi, the village on the border of China that the Huns army had used as a base.

Hayabusa had been living in Kangi for the past three years, working together with the huge entourage of Huns warrior and serving as the loyal strategist for the Khan.

He was seven feet tall. His body was covered with hair. His head was part-shaven and his faces decorated with tattoos made with needles dipped in soot. Upon his broad chests were etched suns and moons and faces with writhing snakes for hair, his dusty backs adorned with bloody handprints slapped on by their comrades.

Despite his menacing look, Hayabusa was a familiar fixture in the Xi'an ever since the tension between the Chinese and the Huns thickened. But people of Xi'an itself had never treated the Huns traders and customers differently from Chinese. To them, they were equally beneficial to the capitalist economy of their little town.

Hunting and herding was the foundation of the Hun economy. Even after his appointment as the Khan's strategist, Hayabusa had been trading his cattle herd and widely known in Xi'an for his excellent bred horses. In return, he sought cloth, coins, weapons, and alcohol.

The sun slowly crept to the edge of the horizon when Hayabusa and his entourage made halfway through the journey. Occasionally, he nursed the sore spot on his toe―courtesy of a small, clumsy Chinese soldier who accidentally tipped a heavy clay urn to his feet. And walking nearly a day back into the Huns encampment did not give his sore foot any favour either. But he knew far better than confronting the timid soldier that stood no chance of in hand to hand combat against him.

"Do we need to stop, Master?" one of his soldiers asked conscientiously. For a young seventeen years old warrior, Attila was surprisingly observant and he seemed to have noticed Hayabusa's growing discomfort.

"No," he answered firmly. "I'm fine Attila."

"I can return to the market and capture that little urchin," Attila announced. "And you can have the privilege to watch the life drain out of him."

"No. I know we can capture and kill him―no big deal. But I don't want to shed a vain death without a greater purpose," he said to the young man. Attila tilted his head as though begging for explanation.

"I have a feeling our path will cross again―and maybe, that little soldier can be of greater use to us."

"But Master, what if that prick reported us to their leader? And I am sure General Shan Yu..."

"Yes, I know, General Shan Yu would just finish that stupid Chinese boy on the spot where he stands. He tends to be light handed on this kind of thing," Hayabusa clipped him. "He even will flatten the market to the ground if that needed to be."

Attila hummed his agreement. Shan Yu was renowned as a formidable enemy to the Chinese because he possessed massive, possibly even super-human strength that made him a hardened fighter and a lethal combatant, armed or not. He could break down a barricaded door with minimal effort, climbed and smashed through a rooftop with ease, and simply sliced massive pillars to shreds with his sword. Yet even then, it cannot quite do justice to the man whom his trembling Chinese enemies dubbed "The Scourge of God". Shan Yu adopted the nickname with alacrity and a sardonic grin. He relished it, as befitting a man whose military brilliance was matched by a savage sense of humour.

But his strength and brutality sometimes could work against him as he tended to act swiftly without much thinking, and for that, the Khan had appointed Hayabusa―a much calculative and crafty thinker of the two.

"Sometimes we have to consider our move carefully―to lose a small battle and win the war. After all, I am appointed to be Shan Yu's strategist for a reason. Yes?"

Attila fell silent. Hayabusa's leadership was matched by his cunning intellect. In addition to having the idea to scale the seemingly-impenetrable Great Wall with grappling hooks, he was able to infiltrate the Palace of Wei and poisoned Prince of Wei's most notable and influential consort―the mother of Prince Shao Wei, the only heir to the Wei's throne. He did so to instil fear to the people of Wei and to make a point, that to the Huns...losing is never an option.


	17. The World That's Dancing Before My Eyes

The night wore on, long and silent. But not for Shang. His mind was actively replaying the Ling's narration. But was it even possible? Ping was so young… innocent...and he was hardly came across as a person who….—

"Captain Li!" Shang was barely asleep when Chi-Fu was back rapping his tent entrance and harassing him with his throaty yell.

"Captain Li! Captain Li! Wake up!" Chi-Fu blustered, upbeat. "Let me introduce you," he barged in without caring that Shang was shirtless.

Shang jumped out of his bed, rubbing his eyes, dizzy and confused. Then a stench of alcohol and coffee hit him. No doubt Chi-Fu had been binge drinking while brewing his plan all night.

"This is Miss Meihui," Chi-Fu said, signalling the person to remove the hood from her head while Shang, still dazed, frantically tried to put on his robe back on.

"Wha-what?" Shang's brow jumped to his hairline, aghast. He was nearly speechless—Chi-Fu took a woman to the camp full of males? And into  _his_  tent? "I… —I don't get this," he choked. "I have never called for..—It must've been a mistake!"

"Captain Li, I  _know_  you are married. She is not… —Not for  _that_ ," Chi-Fu laughed, the rice wine made him delirious. "She is your  _accomplice_."

"Accomplice?" Shang blinked, suspecting Chi-Fu alcohol-addled brain was barely functioning.

"Yes. Accomplice. Remember,  _our_  plan?"

Shang's sleep-deprived head finally caught up with him. " _Your_  plan," Shang corrected, remembering Chi-Fu had returned to his tent again after Ling had left and babbled until past midnight about his scheme. The old advisor had been crafting a plan that Shang would disguise himself and went undercover as a traveller from the south who was seeking job opportunity in Xi'an.

"I'm afraid I don't require anyone, Chi-Fu. I am not an invalid. I am perfectly capable of holding myself in a busy marketplace," Shang said flatly. "And by the way, I would like to remind you that this encampment is out of bounds for women…—" he glanced at the girl and back to Chi-Fu, glaring. "...By death penalty—order of the Emperor."

Chi-Fu snickered, low and throaty. "Captain Li, let me remind you. Yes, the Son of Heaven was the one who signed the rule, but  _I_ —underline that word—was the one who made them. And...look at you!" He ran his skinny finger, pointing up and down Shang's figure. "You think you are not noticeable and blend in well with majority of other people?" he scoffed. "Now...you tell me, in this encampment alone, apart of the Prince of Wei, who is as tall, strong and… and…—"

"Handsome...able-bodied...," Meihui butted in. When both men looked at her questioningly, she just shrugged her shoulder. "...I am just pointing what's obvious."

" _Thank you_  Miss Meihui," Chi-Fu scowled at her before turning back to Shang. "What I mean is, you don't look like another average,  _normal_  people."

"As if you were," Shang muttered sarcastically. Thankfully Chi-Fu was too engrossed with own thoughts to be able to hear him. "And how can Miss Meihui here can help me to get less… less tall,  _muscular_  and  _handsome_?" Shang said, crossing his arms.

Chi-Fu blew an impatient breath through his nostril, mumbling something intelligible to himself before gaining his prideful posture. "So, Miss Meihui will pose as your sister, girlfriend or whatever, so that at least people will be less suspicious."

"Less suspicious," Shang parroted, rolling his eyes.

"Think about this. Why does a man like you wandering around, alone in the market full of women doing their weekly shopping? Most other men your age are wielding their swords in the battlefield," Chi-Fu demanded. "And I bet you won't even know what to buy!"

Shang fell silent. He quietly admitted Chi-Fu did have a point. He eyed both Chi-Fu and Meihui respectively. "Then why don't you go to spy on the Prince instead of me? It will be a far better arrangement since I don't have to abandon the training."

"I…—" Horrified look fell on Chi-Fu's face.  _Just as I guessed,_  Shang smirked inwardly.  _He was just a manipulative coward who wanted the credit without getting his own hands dirty._  "I can't… I have to be here if the Emperor suddenly summon me."

 _Summon your ass maybe_ —Shang thought sardonically, but he held his silence, not wanting to disparage the councillor and made him looked ridiculous in front of an outsider. "...And does Miss Meihui has no objection taking part in this espionage?" Shang asked.

"No. I've discussed a method of  _payment_  that will be sufficient for her," Chi-Fu replied with a mischievous wink that made Shang's stomach churn. Meihui blushed furiously. "She only needs a  _small_  favour from you, Captain."

This made Shang felt uncomfortable. "Favor from...  _me_?"

"Don't worry, her wish isn't difficult to fulfil, I assure you," Chi-Fu grinned, displaying an array of crooked teeth. When Shang stepped backwards and looked a little unsure, Chi-Fu pressed on. "You want to solve the puzzle of our mysterious Prince, don't you, Captain Li? Granting her wish is a small price to pay for a bigger good. Yes?"

Shang drew a sigh. "Why are you torturing me like this?"

Chi-Fu laughed. "Because I can."

* * *

Mulan yawned as she made it back to the reporting post. She was on the final round of her patrol that morning. The dusk broke in the sky, and the fog still covered the ground like a blanket. Ling was trailing a distance behind her. Suddenly she caught a glimpse of Qing, fixed on the willow tree by the banks of the river, a good distance away from the encampment.

 _Is Shang about to go somewhere this early?_ She thought. Her curiosity carried her to Shang's tent, which was pitch a reasonable distance away from Shao's. But by all means, both tents were at the far corner of the ground, away from the noise and cacophony of the communal tent and training field.

Chi-Fu appeared and already calling out with his throaty voice outside Shang's tent door. It was clear Prince of Wei was gone, or otherwise, he would have scolded the old councillor for disturbing his peaceful slumber.

And then something unexpected happened. And a woman, in her twenties, come out of his tent. She looked like she just woken up from her slumber, hair still everywhere and her sleeping robe was poorly secured.

"Miss Meihui, how's your sleep?"

"Not very long, but surprisingly very good," she said politely and flushed when she realised Chi-Fu had already donned in his formal wear. "I am a little late, am I… ? Captain Li..—?"

Her statement caused Mulan's body to react.  _Captain Li…_ — _? Did she…_ — _?_ She felt panicked, short of breath like the ground around her swallowing her whole.

"Oh, you mean Captain Li? He is an early riser. He has waited on the training field for  _you_ ," Chi-Fu said, giving her a meaningful smirk that felt like a stab to Mulan's heart. "Take your time to primp up yourself. Your man can't see you when you are like  _this…_  can he? We'll see you when you are ready."

 _What is she doing there…_ — _? And most importantly, has Shang…?_

 _No,_  said another voice in her head.  _Do you really want to know?_

And for the first time in her life, Mulan felt something hot, ugly, scorching in her chest, rising up her throat, burning her eyes. Surely, she can't be jealous of the woman, can she? Mulan was unwillingly sleeping with Shang given the chance. Why was she having such a visceral mental response now?  _Why?_ She demanded, clutching her hand on her chest. _Why do I feel this way?_

The answer bubbled at the edge of her conscious mind until the utter panic drew it back down.

Mulan ran into the nearby coppice, kneeling by the edge of the brook. She took a generous scoop of water with her palm and splashed her face. The coldness of water seemed to appease the piercing pain in her heart, but only to have it stung harder the next seconds.

 _Has Shang...cheated?_  The twisting feeling came back again until she thought she was about to die.

 _This has to stop!_ She commanded.  _Stop! Stop! You foolish girl!_

"Ping!" Ling's voice echoed in the distance.

Mulan took a few deep breaths and gradually stood. She looked at her reflection at the surface of the water, steeling her face until no sign of distress was visible. She breathed and tried to find her centre. _Calm...calm...calm,_ she chanted to herself.

"Yes?" she said without meeting Ling's eyes.

"Are you coming to the sparring practice?" Ling said from beside her.

"Of course, I'll...I'll catch you up later."

Thankfully Ling went past without further questioning. Once she felt she had reined her emotion, she went to join the others at the training field, where all the men gathered around the circle, watching the spar. Shang was already there, leading the warm-up. And then he announced that he needed a few volunteer and Mulan suddenly saw her chance.

* * *

Shang had forced himself to lead the warming up and join the recruits to run a full circle across the circumference of the encampment although his sleep-deprived body was begging him for rest. And sharing a tent with Chi-Fu didn't help him one bit. That man snored like a wheat grinder. It's no wonder that he had stayed single!

After the warming up, he commanded everyone to stand in formation while he stepped forward, abandoning his robes. "Let's begin our training by demonstrating an example of unexpected ambush. Imagine if you were walking alone, and suddenly a few Huns guerillas attacked you from unknown directions. You have no weapon, except one that you happen to hold on your hand. And what would you do? I will need five recruits for this exercise."

Five volunteers stepped forward. Shang was surprised to see Ping jumped in front of the queue with no hesitation. Considering the boy had just finished his shift of long night patrol, he could only imagine the similar kind of exhaustion and sleepiness that were eating him. But Shang wasn't about to prevent him from joining the drill.

The stage was set. Chef Zhang picked up his flute, while Shang sat cross-legged on the ground, closing his eyes and listened, waiting for the attack. The flute was a favour to them. It dulled Shang's well-trained hearing. Without it, they won't stand a chance.

One man came from behind him, Shang swiped his leg and elbowed his gut as the poor guy fell on the ground. Two men climbed the trees and jumped on him at once, Shang caught each of their legs and angled them to each other's face. Another man came from his front, but flip over last minute, trying to pile drive him. Shang simply moved away.

Suddenly, Ping was upon him like a wall of fire.

He charged at him with ferocity. Like he meant it. Shang was shocked, but recovered quickly, blocking all his punch and kicks.

"Good Ping, good," he said, hoping to placate him, but it seemed only making the boy angrier. He swiped at Shang, attempted to hit his vital organs, growling. Shang blocked, and Ping swiped at him with his other hand, the force of rage behind his strike.

 _Ping! Stop! What happened to you?_  Shang looked at him with befuddlement and grunted when one of Ping's punch hit his gut, but Ping didn't slow down one bit, as though he was purposely ignoring him.

_Ok, you asked for it._

Shang waited patiently for a chance to strike. And finally, when Ping was about to deliver a powerful punch, Shang managed to catch his fist with one hand and grab his collar with another. He picked the boy up, throw him to the ground face first. And before Ping had a chance to recover, he twisted the other arm behind his back and planted his heel on the name of Ping's neck, pinning him immobilised at the ground.

The crowd cheered, and after a moment Shang released the boy.

"Great energy, Ping, excellent!" he said. Ping rose to his feet and saluted him without meeting his eyes.

"You'd all take the example from Ping's relentlessness," Shang said to the direction of the crowds.

"Yes Captain," the rest chorused.

* * *

"Now we are going to learn hand to hand combat with both of our hand tied."

Mulan could hear Shang's voice as the training went on. She crawled to the back of the crowd as soon as Shang dismissed her, hand nursing the spot where she landed right on the hard ground. She knew challenging Shang on a spar was a risky move and could have a serious, detrimental effect should she was really pregnant, but at that moment at the time, her brain was like clouded with haze of anger and jealousies that she couldn't think straight.

 _Oh, stop being such a child,_ she chastised herself.  _What if nothing happened between them last night? And what if this was Chi-Fu's order? You know what he's like._

"Now, I will need another volunteer. How about you Yao? Please come forward." Shang's voice rang behind the cheer of the crowds. "Jing, please take the rope in the weapon tent."

Mulan was wiping her cheek with a wet cloth when she happened to capture the sight of Meihui, concealing herself behind the trees as she watched the spar from a distance to avoid attracting unwanted attention from the recruits. She was wearing a dark-coloured cloak, but Mulan could still see her face. Her delicate hand flutter over her heart, her eyes sparkling, her face flushed, looking at the men in combat with enough admiration and desire that could melt an iceberg.

The twisted pain on her chest was back, but Mulan found she couldn't look away. She watched as Meihui gasped in her small worried-tinged voice when Shang got punched, or cheer with absolute adoration as he concluded the match.

Mulan was so engrossed in observing Meihui that she didn't realise the sparring session was over and Shang came over. Meihui saluted and paid him with a gratuitous smile that reached far into her eyes. Shang returned her smile.

Mulan was taken aback. Shang had almost never smiled. It was almost like a rare commodity. That unpleasant twisting feeling began a new.

"That was an amazing performance," the woman told Shang a little breathlessly.

"You saw your man?" Shang asked, his voice loud and smooth and cut perfectly through the silence.

Mulan gritted her teeth.  _Your man?_  she nearly shouted.  _Did he just call himself 'your man'?_

Meihui nodded, blush spreading to her ear. "Yes, of course, I could hardly take my eyes off him!"

"I bet you do," he said, throwing her another smile.

The two were talking, and Chi-Fu came interrupting. "Are you two ready?" The old man rubbed his hand together expectantly. Meihui nodded and glanced briefly to Shang who picked up his stuff from the ground. Chi-Fu grinned, his tobacco-stained teeth looking ugly. "So, let's the show begin."

* * *

Chi-Fu, Shang and Meihui talked and headed to the back of the encampment where Qing was. Mulan couldn't hear what they said without getting noticed, but she got the idea by watching their wordless gesture.

She peeked between the gap on the nearby shrub, careful not to make any sound that would trigger Shang's cat-like hearing. Chi-Fu handed him two sacks, one of which Mulan recognised as Shang—she had packed it right before he left their home. Shang helped to secure their belonging before mounting himself on Qing.

"Uh, how do I…—" Meihui looked at the towering beast. Her hands clutched tightly on her chest, looking fragile and terrified. It was clear to Mulan that the girl had no idea how to ride a horse, she was even afraid of one!

Shang ran his fingers on Qing's mane affectionately. "Don't worry. She won't bite."

Meihui seemed to relax at his reassurance. Shang signalled her to come close and patted Qing on her side. Meihui took a few careful steps, cautiously touched Qing's pelt and she laughed in amazement once her finger made contact with her fur. "She is… so soft!"

"I groom her every day," Shang said simply.

"You two better go now to catch up with Prince of Wei," Chi-Fu announced.

Suddenly the look of something akin to uncertainty cascaded over Shang's face. "Venerable Chi-Fu, are you sure you can…—?"

"Captain Li," the old man said with a dose of irritation. "I've been working with men way longer than you. Trust me. I'll keep them busy and out of trouble while you're gone."

Shang considered his answer. He was still completely unconvinced, but he also knew he had no other choice. "Fine," Shang resigned and turned his attention to the woman. "Miss Meihui do you need…—?"

"Some help? Yes. Yes of course."

"Placed your foot on this stirrup here, and I'll help you up," Shang told her. And then he stretched his hand. Meihui did as she was told, and Shang pulled her up with his strength and mounted her in front of him.

"Better?" he asked, sensing Meihui was still a little petrified.

"I…—" she stuttered. "Don't worry. I will be. It's just I need to get used to being this... _high_."

Suddenly a buzzing bee startled Qing and caused the stallion to jerk forward. Surprised, Meihui lost her balance, and it was down to Shang's excellent reflex that saved her falling out of her grace.

" _Oh_!" Meihui yelped.

 _Yeah, pulling the dainty-little-lady's card thing. Very clever._ Mulan thought ruefully.

"Don't worry he got you," Chi-Fu chuckled amusedly and turned to Shang and said in faux-seriousness. "Captain Li, will you make sure you returned Miss Meihui to her parent's house in one piece?"

Meihui laughed as she thanked Shang and Shang seemed to pleasantly enjoy her company, pulling her closer to him, securing her in between his arms.

Mulan suddenly felt as though she been thrown into the ground again, twice as hard. Something about Meihui sitting between Shang's arms, about his gesture of protectiveness, about the delicate way he smiled at her….that made Mulan breathless and shaky with anxiety. She stepped away from the shrub, her breath ragged. Panic, sadness, rage, all came to her at once.

She raced through the limit of the encampment unto the woods and to the clearing where she usually spent her time alone.

* * *

Mulan arrived on her usual "contemplating" spot and sighed in relief when she found no one there. She stayed there, sitting by the tree for hours, skipping her lunch… and perhaps her dinner. She had no idea where and why Shang was going. She only got a hint that he would be gone for more than a day, as the size of his bag suggested, spending his time alone with Meihui.

Yes, Meihui seemed to be a sweet, peace-loving girl with a small voice and gentle smile. She probably dabbed rose oil behind her ears and perfumed the sheets, and danced with fans, wore beautiful lingerie, and went limp at his touch… and Shang probably loved it!

The hysteria rose in her again. The pain and agony were like a thorn in her flesh. She was surprised by the intensity of it.

Mulan turned her attention to the pebble underneath her feet. She took one large one and threw it to the water with all her might. The stone bounced and leapt before sinking into the water with a satisfying thud. The action seemed to release part of the sadness that strangled her heart.

 _Isn't that great? Finally, you have a reason to truly hate him!_ said the unspoken voice in her head.

 _You feel this way because you love him! Admit it!_ Replied another.  _You love every inch of him!_ Gods, the memories still tinged—the memories of his hard, muscular body pressed against hers. Although it had been weeks since they shared a bed, those nights seemed to have imprinted themselves like a tattoo in her mind. But once the physicality of sex and the intimacy of his touch were no longer readily accessible to her, it became clear to her that it was Shang's heart she desired.

_Oh, you foolish girl! You are wasting your time! He will never appreciate you. A girl like you will never be his perfect bride!_

Mulan massaged her temple, attempting to drive the contradicting argument away. She resented Shang for wanting her to be like other women—subservient and obedient. It didn't make any sense. Shang spent his life crafting warrior! He should love a brave, strong-willed woman—not a pampered, dainty ornament that had no understanding in the world of men.

"Hi Girl! I've been looking everywhere for you," greeted Mushu who suddenly transpired out of nowhere. "Ugh, what's with that sour face?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," he said. Jumping to the ground in front of her so he could see her face clearly. "Tell me. What's eating you?"

When it was clear Mulan wasn't going to tell him, Mushu pulled out a crystal ball out of nowhere and mumbled something foreign.

"You can…—You are a fortune teller now?" Mulan marvelled, finding herself sidetracked from whatever agonising stab she had been experiencing.

"Oh, you just knew?" Mushu said cockily. "I came from a long line of a creature with a gift of sight!"

Mulan crossed her arms and eyed him sceptically. "Is that come together with a gift of talking nonsense?"

"Fine...fine, it's mostly bullshit and cold reading," Mushu admitted. "But the odd thing I was quite often right! Now, tell me, isn't it Captain Handsome that caused you this profound torment?"

Mulan didn't answer, but the heavy sigh and her slumping posture did.

"Oh... so I am right.  _Again_ ," Mushu said, clicking his tongue. "Care to share?"

After minutes of persuasive cajoling, Mulan finally cracked and told the little deity everything.

"Well, don't arrive at any conclusion just yet. The woman might be… might be…—"

"Sleeping with him?" Mulan deadpanned.

"No. I mean…—Look, Chi-Fu was there too. What if that woman related to him and not Shang?"

"Do you really think that even possible?" Mulan scowled."Mushu, she is third of his age!"

"Hey, are you sayin' old man aren't attractive? I am thousands of years old and I…—"

"She came out of Shang's tent!" Mulan cut him impatiently, more suspicion and jealousy piling up, poisoning her mind. By now all she wanted was finding evidence that Shang was indeed the cheater her mind had extrapolated him to be. "What else can that be?"

"But...but Shang didn't come out from his tent with her, right? Wait—what's that bruise?"

Mulan quickly obscured the assaulted spot with her hand. "It's…. It's nothing." But it was too late, Mushu was all over her.

"Oh, dear ancestor! Who did that?" Mushu exclaimed as he checked. When she just pursed her lips, he gasped. "Did… did  _Shang_  did this?"

"It was…—" Mulan buried her face in her palms. "It was my fault. I was having a serious go at him at the spar. And he…—," she sighed. "He was just defending himself."

"What? You'd  _challenged_  him at the spar? Oh, dear Guan Kim, you can get yourself seriously hurt! And what if the baby….—" Mushu slapped his claws to his head. "Your ancestor would never forgive me!" He went with his worry-induced babble.

"But it does feel good when I managed to punch his gut just now," Mulan mumbled to herself.

"Please remind me, don't ever make a woman jealous," Mushu mumbled while giving her bruise a closer look. "Man, this will leave a mark for weeks!"

"I'm fine Mushu, it's just a scrape," she said, anger and hatred were gone in exchange for deep sorrow. "I just..—I don't understand," Mulan sighed, sounding defeated. "Why he actually like to be around… around….a feminine nonsense."

"A feminine nonsense?" Mushu's frowned. "Mulan, that girl is just being… a  _girl_!"

That rubbed Mulan's frayed nerves. "He was smiling at that girl, Mushu.  _Smiling_!"

"Is that wrong…. To  _smile_?" Mushu looked even more puzzled.

"You are aware that Shang thrifts his smile to the  _important_  occasion?" Mulan bit back.

"But the girl smiled and thanked him! What do you think he supposed to do? Give her an ugly frown? It's called  _being polite!_ "

It was a fair point, but Mulan—twined in the feeling of Shang's betrayal—wasn't about to back down just yet. "He can just say _'your welcome'_  and walk off!"

"Are you for real?" Mushu threw his arms in the air. But the feeling of pity came upon him to see Mulan, curled under the ancient tree, hugging her knees with her arms, looking small, hurt and broken.

"Girl, I think you are overthinking things," he rubbed her shoulder in a soothing motion. "I know I may be outrageously dense and outright insensitive," Mushu said, trying to enlighten the mood. "...But having female acquaintances don't automatically conclude a man is having an affair."

Okay, that may be right. Logical and undeniable. But on the other hand, Mulan could not completely rule out the possibility of such thing from happening.

"I don't get it," Mulan said resignedly. "He is a soldier. He spent his life training and crafting men to be like him, eloquent in swordfights, excellent at horse riding, precise in aiming. He loves engaged in physical combat and any sort of confrontation. So why he…—why he resented me for having the same passion as him?"

Mushu rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You see… when Shang married you, he wants you as his  _wife_ , not a sparring friend. He had plenty of those here… in the training ground or battlefield. Shang wants you to fulfil other needs….—other needs these men couldn't give him. He doesn't want you to challenge him. He didn't need someone who could throw kick, punch and spar with him. He had done that here all week."

Mulan crossed her arms, "Ah. Got it. He wants a girl who will sate his sex demand and clean the house all day."

"That's not true, because if it is, most men will only marry two type of women—a whore and a housemaid. Dare I say your mother is neither of those, and your father loved her for it," Mushu elaborated.

"Your point is?"

"You see… most men—not all men—but most, want to be  _needed_."

"Needed?" Mulan snorted with a heavy amount of sarcasm. "The last time I told Shang I  _need_  him to take the place of my father in the war, he scolded me."

"That's because you don't  _need_  him. You  _want_  him to take the place of your father," Mushu pointed out. "Think about this, have you see your mother asked your father to help her pick the laundry? Babysitting you and Ping? Or carrying heavy groceries? ...She  _asked_  and made a point that she  _needed_  him. It may be just petty housework—no big deal, but even little things make your father feels like he is a superhero! He makes her happy! Every man feels damn proud to make a woman happy. So at the end of the day, she is smiling and glad to see him and wants to feed him and take him to bed."

"What about a woman who is capable and can make herself happy?" Mulan balked.

"That's great. I mean some guys are really into that. Believe me, when your ancestor summoned me, I am rather amazed at your self-reliance and independence. But for a traditional guy like Shang, he might think…— _if she can do what I do, then what does she need me for?_ "

"But I am not my mother!" Mulan said bitterly "You'd think that Shang would at least respect me for who I am and not wishing me to be a helpless damsel in distress that would plead him for help in every situation."

"Nah. Girl, you don't get it. Shang didn't despise you for who you are—it's just… he needs time to understand that you are not like any other girl. He needs assurance that although you are a capable woman, you still  _need_  him in your life," Mushu said softly. "You see….many men, especially old-fashioned one like Shang, want to be respected. They want to feel they are the one in control, the one who made decisions. Challenging him a spar or a sword fight isn't the way to win an argument with him."

"So, a woman who knows how to challenge a man in a sword fight would never be a perfect bride, is that it?"

"Wo wo wait… —since when is this conversation turning into a discussion about sword fight? It's about having room in your heart for another person, about having some need that the other person can fulfil. You see, you are clever, brave and beautiful, Mulan—I am sure many men, even Shang and his parents can't deny that. That's why they picked you! But before Shang married you, how many men have asked you out or see you more than just a friend material?"

"I…—" Mulan began. Her eyes widened, and she found herself unable to answer.

"Checkmate."

* * *

Mulan gnawed at Mushu's words. Most of the time the foreign deity was speaking with joke and sarcasm, but no, not today. Her mind turned over...and over...and over again, slowly unravelling the puzzle.

_Men didn't want strong, capable woman? Is that it?_

Then why her father raised her to be the complete opposite of what most men would want? Her mind sat uncomfortably in her mind, hot and angular and nonsensical. She went numb.

_Man wants to be needed._

Perhaps Shang's intent had been to confuse her to such an extent she suffered an existential crisis? But…. _why_?

_Maybe so that he can have a good excuse for having an extramarital affair._

Mulan would lie if she said she didn't hate Meihui. She knew that there was hardly any evidence to accuse Meihui had seduced Shang or tempted him to commit something immoral. But her mind couldn't help to fill the blank even though it couldn't see any proof otherwise!

The worst of it was because Mulan could see why Shang could have fallen in love with this woman. The way Meihui spoke coyly to him, praised him, blushed in his presence...perhaps made Shang felt like a god! Meihui was beautiful, soft-spoken, dainty and fragile like a rose. She needed a man, a big and strong man to protect her, to help her with her heavy grocery, to help her climbed on her horse and prevented her from falling.

While she? She was likened to a wild orchid—grown freely in the forest, cared nothing of the world. She was strong, resilient and self-sufficient. She would fight for her survival and her existence and owed nothing to no one. But evidently, many men had valued the fragile rose that would wither and die without constant care and protection far more than the tough, sturdy wild orchid.

She looked forlornly to the sky and shouted. "Oh, why do I  _care_?" she asked herself. _It's not like we are married out of love,_  although she knew, somewhere deep in the small, hidden corner of her heart part of her did—the part that wished one day Shang would return her sentiment entirely. Yet, the love she felt was accompanied by an equal hatred, revulsion, all mixed together in a basket of useless, energy-sapping emotion that she could do little about.

 _You deserve this, foolish girl. He is not the first one to lie. You are._ She thought ruefully as Ling's words about her coming clean flashed on her mind. Yes, she was the first one who carried a double life and lying to Shang, to her father, to his family...she was lying to them all. If there was a rift forming between her and Shang, Mulan should blame herself for it. Perhaps none of this mayhem would've happened if she stayed obedient at home and maybe became blissfully unaware of her husband's duplicity.

Mulan looked into a distance, towards the direction of where Shang was heading. The sun painted a golden hue in the late autumn sky. For a moment she considered taking Khan and raced to catch up with him, to apologise and told him everything.

…but she didn't.

 _It's too late for that,_  she thought. If she had lost him. She had lost him long ago.

* * *

"I know I've said this, but let me said it again. Thank you for allowing me to watch my Yao sparring," Meihui said as she and Shang rode Qing to Xi'an. They made a stopover by the roadside to eat their lunch before continuing the journey.

"I'm glad I could help," Shang said, biting into his lunch.

Meihui smiled but suddenly looked a little troubled. "You won't tell him a word, won't you, Captain Li? If my parents knew…—If Yao knew what I did…—"

"Not a word," Shang raised his free hand as a sign of solemn promise.

"Thank you. I just…—," Meihui sighed in relief. "I know I just met him once… but I," she shook her head, chuckled to herself. "I can't explain it…—I just missed him, you know, being in training and war and all that. I haven't seen him for eight weeks and oh! I don't know how long more my heart could take it if not because of your generosity." She sighed again to the imaginary point on the road, giving it a dopey look.

"It's a win-win trade," Shang said simply, a little taken aback with the intensity of this woman's love to a man she barely knew.

"So, if I may ask...how do you know Venerable Chi-Fu?" Shang asked carefully. He was pretty certain the story of Chi-Fu salvaging a nearly homeless family was a heavily edited version.

"Oh, you see… my mother was a daughter of the Royal Treasurer, a noblewoman if you liked. She was betrothed to someone of equal status and of a similar background, but my mother decided to marry my father, her childhood friend who was just a shoemaker."

"Oh..."

"And then….her family disowned her and all her siblings cut ties with her. As a daughter of a rich man, my mother had never learned any real skill for survival. She was designed to marry a man who will make providence for her and her family...lavishly," she said, dejected. "Our family fell into deep poverty, and in this great time of need—my mother considered a desperate measure as far as begging outside the gate of the royal court. This was when she met Chi-Fu, who recognised her familiar face."

"So, Chi-Fu lent her some money?" Shang deducted. He couldn't hide his disbelief.

" _Given_ ," Meihui corrected. "Maybe it was out of pity, may be out of passion, I don't know—nonetheless, we are living comfortably now—thanks to him."

Shang fell quiet. He had never seen the selfless, charitable side of the old, naggy councillor that had caused him nothing but trouble.

"How about you?" Meihui returned. "Chi-Fu said that you are married."

"I am."

"Is she from around here?"

"No. But our fathers were close acquaintances."

"Oh, what an excellent match! Both of you must inherit a good breed," Meihui complimented candidly. "Who's her name?"

"Fa Mulan, the eldest daughter of Fa Zhou."

"Fa Zhou? You mean the great war-strategist  _Fa Zhou?_ " Meihui said, impressed. "I know him..—I mean, who didn't know the Tiger of China?"

Shang nodded. He had to admit when his mother first came home and enthusiastically shared the news—it was all sounded perfect—too perfect even. It's almost like a match made in heaven.

"She must be remarkable!" Meihui gushed. "Just like her father."

 _You have no idea,_ Shang scoffed had never spoken those words out loud but the million emotion that played across his face did.

"Sorry, did I say something wrong?" Meihui clearly puzzled by Shang's reaction. "I mean, coming from the similar background, she is one of a few qualified women to understand your daily challenge as a leader, right?"

"True…" Shang considered. "Although her stubbornness can often be a trouble sometimes," he blurted out.

"You mean you rather have a girl that only speak whatever things you want to hear? Even... a lie?" Meihui said, her small, soft voice suddenly sounded harrassed and agitated.

"No, no... that's not what I meant," Shang said, slightly surprised with her sharp reaction. "I don't want her to sugarcoat the truth or telling me a lie. All I want is her obedience. Submission. Is that too much to ask?"

This time Meihui nodded and let a dainty chuckle in response to Shang's exasperated plea."Oh… a 'yes-sir' girl will bore you to death, Captain Li. What so interesting about a woman with no opinion? You'll die or boredom."

Shang rolled his eyes. "Try me. I think I'll rather die of boredom."

"Pardon me if this sounded patronising. I know stubbornness can be off-putting. But stubborn also means persistent, tenacious, and never wanting to give up. Stubbornness can be very trying but it is also an amazing attribute." Meihui explained.

" _Amazing?_ " Shang deadpanned.

"Yes. Tell me if I am wrong," Meihui said sagely. "But a stubborn woman like your wife is usually fierce with her feelings and when it comes to things and people she loves, she's all in."

Shang fell silent. His mind recollected every instance how Mulan diligently rehearsed all the womanly etiquette prior to their wedding. He could tell that graceful elegance didn't come naturally to her. Nonetheless, her determination and hard work finally won her perfectionist mother-in-law's stamp of approval. That in itself wasn't an easy feat. And how Mulan vehemently argued him to take the place of her disabled father. She was undoubtedly fierce with her feeling and willing to do anything for the people she loved!

"Perhaps…—Perhaps you are right," Shang relented. From the first day he saw Mulan inside their bridal sedan, he quietly admitted that Mulan possessed some indescribable attributes that he found appealing. He just couldn't figure out what it was. Was it her affinity to challenge him? To speak her mind in earnest?

"I was just… —it's just complicated," he resigned. "I just can't understand her at all."

"It takes time," Meihui placated. "But having a stubborn woman means that she's stubborn about you. And if she loves you—she will love you, no matter what. Just like I was with Yao." She reached her neck and gasped in surprise.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh! I think I've lost my engagement necklace! It must've dropped inside your tent when I was sleeping last night."

Shang rose from his seat, patting his trousers and took Qing's reins. "Don't worry, we'll get it back."

* * *

The next day Mulan kept herself busy to prevent her mind wandering off to where Shang was. Unfortunately, it was a futile effort considering there were not many things to do while clueless Chi-Fu left in charge.

The old councillor obviously knew nothing about training. Therefore, in order to keep the soldier occupied, he allowed them to go to the Autumn Fires Festival, set nearby on the foot of Wudan Hill, with the promise everyone returned back to the encampment before midnight—a condition that accepted by the recruits with delight.

"What do people do in Autumn Fires Festival?" Mulan asked aloud when she sat together with other soldiers during meal time. A few recruits exchanged meaningful glances and chuckled quietly until one of them took a pity on her and replied. "It's a festival to basically enjoy the last bit of warmth before winter took over. "

"You should come," said Wu, one of the men with a beard, over his shoulder. "It'll be fun!"

"Big party all tonight until morning!" Chen added.

"That's sound tiring," Mulan said, considering a good night sleep as a rare commodity these days. Why these men found sleepless night enticing was beyond her.

The two men looked at her and chuckled.

"There will be drinks, laughing leaf, magic mushroom, music…—"

"—...and women," Wu pointed out. "Come with us, Ping. It'll be fun!"

"Fun?" Mulan wondered aloud.

"Fun for us,  _men_!" added Chen, smirking pointedly.

"Yes," Wu laughed heartily when she gawked and blushed realized the hidden meaning behind his words. "Oh, Ping. You are so innocent!"

Mulan wondered why she had never of such festivities.

"Consider this is the last indulgence we'll have before the war," Chen said, slapping her shoulder in a friendly way. "I'll show you around, don't you worry."

Mulan considered her option. Under normal circumstances, she won't join this kind of gathering. She could imagine Ling's testy response or Chien-Po's aghast gasp if they knew where she was heading or what kind of company she ran into. But Mulan was still bitten by Shang's betrayal that she made a concession to allow herself to do  _anything_  that took her minds off him.

"Okay, I'll come with you."

* * *

An hour later, Mulan and a few other recruits set out in a good cheer towards Wudan Hill. About a mile into the clearing, they could hear pounding drums and smell of smoke from a distance away. They were soon joined by more crowds of people from all sort of life: merchants, farmers, prostitutes, bandits, performers…and even a few Huns. One man, in particular, gave her a queer look. Mulan decided to keep her distance.

"Where all these people come from?" she asked gingerly.

"Many places….—Ah, you don't want to know," replied one of the men who happened to stand closest to her. Despite his ragged look—tousled hair that looked like hadn't been washed for months and his spiralling tattoo on the calf of his leg and notorious looking scar on his right cheek—the man was extremely cordial. "Just enjoy the party and do whatever you like, because whatever happens in Wudan, stays in Wudan."

The gathering was nothing short of awe-inspiring. By the centre of the clearing was an enormous bonfire spitting smoke and embers towards the moon. People in various state of inebriation and undress danced around the fire.

Mulan observed. Most of the girls she saw were either prostitutes or performer or something in between. She didn't see anyone normal—like a girl that came with her family or her husband—and it all soon became apparent to her: these people were poor, homeless or criminal, or anyone who didn't want their identity known. From the crowds gathered here, one would easily get an impression that China was a huge underclass in which Mulan had little awareness. However, they seemed happy—laughing, drinking, and dancing. The mood was infectiously cheery.

It was then the stark reality stung her and she began to feel out of place, stunted. The rest of the world was just out there, dancing before her eyes, beating with life, and what had she been doing so far? Cooking in the kitchen until her back broke, living with snappy mother-in-law whose only objective was to grind years of womanly conduct into her skull, and for what? In pursuit of  _what…_?

Was it her husband's acceptance? His affection?... His  _love_?

Whatever it was. It's something she could never have.

How much of the world had she missed out living as this kind of woman? Enslaved by emotion and bonded by the empty hope of love?

The thought put a resolve in her pace. Tonight would be different.

Tonight she would taste  _life_.

* * *

The last ray of blazing sun dipped into the depth of horizon. Up in the sky, the star threw a party. The night was chilly but the spirit was high. Mulan saw as her compatriots sat around the table, putting their gamble and sipping their laughing leaf. Then was a few men approaching her, perhaps not in an entirely right state of mind for mistaking her as a woman, but Mulan didn't care.

They looked like soldiers from other regiments, charming, tall, dark and handsome in whom she had every reason to be interested—but it did nothing to her. In fact the more charming, attractive and muscular, the less she liked them.

One of them gallantly offered to get her a drink, which she refused by politely said she had an upset stomach. Albeit looking a little on the tipsy side, the man took her refusal well and soon was found swooning over a bunch of voluptuous dancers who invited him joining to the beat.

She was soon forgotten.

 _They were all the same,_ she scoffed quietly. _All men are the same,_   _like Shang._

"Hey," a voice behind her grunted. "Sweet boy."

Mulan glanced back over her shoulder. Her heart nearly stopped when she realized it was the Huns man she saw a couple of days ago in Xi'an market. She recalled sending the man on a wild goose chase after accidentally dropped a big clay pottery on the man's toe. Worse, she could see a few of his compatriots lingered around the bonfire, gambling and smoking.

"Y-yes?" she said, putting her tone a pitch louder to obscure her trembling voice.

The man laughed, looked at her up and down and shaking his head. "Now, I totally didn't see this comin'."

"Don't see what?" Mulan braved herself to ask. Despite his burly built like a stereotypical Huns, the guy spoke with surprisingly eloquent Chinese.

The Hun man ignored her question, went to grab his beer pint and drank deeply. "You breakin' bad or something?" he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I mean… most men are here for the girls, gambling and drugs—I know that. But you?" he burst out laughing. "You  _can_  be one of those girls."

Mulan's hackles rose. "What I'll do here is none of your business," she bristled.

A surprise and a flick of admiration flashed on the man's eyes. He almost admired this little Chinese boy for having the nerve to answer him like he did.

"I know  _you_ ," he told Mulan. "You are the Chinese soldier in the market!"

"I…—I didn't…—" Mulan had inched away, preparing her swift exit.

"Look," the Hun man said again. "If you need spy work, come to me first, okay? Good money—I promise," he said with a smirk. "You can spend on betting, drinking… or  _girls_."

It was Mulan's turn to be surprised. "You… you are not going to call your clan...to…—I don't know…—kick my ass or something?" she said dumbly.

"Ain't no benefit in kickin' your ass, Sweetheart," he scoffed. Mulan could only gape at him and the man laughed. "Don't believe me don't you? Here," he said, tossing a coin to one of the guys with a cartload of bottles. "The drink is on me."

"But…—" Mulan sputtered.

"Name's Hayabusa. Talk to me first, 'kay."

Her brain seemed to stop functioning, so she only managed to say a weak, "Y-Yes Sir."

He laughed again. "Ain't call me Sir. I'm not your boss," and he stood and left.

Mulan watched the man walked away, overcome with the weirdest feeling of acceptance she ever experienced.

* * *

"Your drink!" The bartender, a man with an earring pierced on his nose, handed over a rustic looking wooden bowl as he took the coin Hayabusa tossed earlier. Something putrid and green danced inside, but Mulan hardly noticed. Her head swam, racing with train of thoughts. Did she just met one of the Huns soldiers and he offered her to …—that was just absurd! Did that man think she will dishonour her country for petty financial rewards?

Nodding in grateful silence, she accepted the drink and sit obediently on the dirt as though she was under a spell, that was a few steps that she didn't feel.

"You'll love it," said the bartender, showcasing his smile and a few missing teeth.

She sipped her drink. It tasted strange—no, in fact, it tasted horrible, repulsive! But there was something in it that drew her to take another sip and another…

From a distance, she saw a few of her compatriots, joining the undulating crowds by the fire. Tongues of energy emanated from their skin. Somehow she could see how the music connected them all. The thumping rhythm suddenly sounded like a soothing lullaby in her ears.

She slowly looked up and saw the star twinkled in the sky, they rays extended and retracted as though breathing. She reached her hands towards the sky, tracing the constellation, and felt her digits touch something warm and fuzzy like she grasped into the depth of an entire universe in her hands. Just like when Shang hugged and cuddled her to sleep.

_Shang…._

A bubble of darkness rose within her and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She fell to her knee, gasping as though her chest had been pierced with an arrow.

"Agh… no!" she cried.

"Hey," a man said. Mulan recognised him, but no name came into her mind. But it hardly bothered her. The man looked friendly anyway and his hand was equally soft and warm.

"Is this poison?" she asked him. "Wait..! Do that usually move? I mean… can...can it  _moves_?"

"What moves?"

"The snakes... on your skin," Mulan pointed out at the tattoos that spiralled out of the man torso all the way up to his neck and part of his face.

He laughed. "Cos not Sweetheart. But everything's movin' when you drink  _that_! Don't believe me, check your toes!"

Mulan looked down. She gasped in surprise when she saw the ground beneath her feet was transformed into a thick mass of cloud. Soft and fluffy—swirling around in a folding prism of musical light. She was just about to enjoy the amazingness when she felt her balance was lost and she was about to tumble…—

"Easy there, Sweet Boy," the man said.

"Oh, thank…—thank you, Sir," Mulan said. And despite a few ugly thoughts of Shang still nagging somewhere in the back of her head, she felt curiously lighthearted.

"Hayabusa… 'member me?" the man smiled. "You seemed to enjoy yourself. Mind if I join?"

"Oh no..no...Please do," Mulan laughed, didn't understand why she sounded more delirious than she intended to be.

"Try this. Even better!" Hayabusa said, offering a cigarette to which Mulan had no idea what to do until he demonstrated to her. She mimicked his motion, putting the pipe into her mouth, inhaling the smoke deep into her lungs.

"Ack…" she spat out. The scent left a trail of acrid taste in her tongue, her eyes began to water and she felt an overwhelming desire to retch. "This…—what is this? Bleugh! It's  _horrible_! Ugh!"

Just as she was about to assume Hayabusa was playing a joke on her, a wave of pleasure hit her, passing over her senses like a thin membrane of pure joy, and she was swept off, forever into the night and into the stars. Her feet become nothing but a wisp of smoke, a blessed release from the confine of her emotion and dilemma, a release from being her! She laughed with joy. Hayabusa joined her and together they danced.

She felt wondrously enchanted, like an insubstantial spirit watching the gathering, loving every song she heard and every person she saw.

"Ah… I have never seen things this beautiful," she gushed.

"What is?"

" _Everything_!"

He laughed, spinning her for a twirl. "I bet nothing sort of like this in your encampment."

"No. It's nothing like this."

Hayabusa chuckled. "Aye, you are one bad boy. Come here to party all night."

The guilt crept to her chest, clawing its way up to her throat. Although Mulan felt her act was—in some way—justifiable, other parts of her condemned her deliberate intention of breaking the rule out of selfish needs to soothe her aching heart.

"Just for tonight," Mulan told him, taking another puff and sighing in relief when the smoke once again dulled all the bitter reality around her. "I just need sometime to…—Oh, nevermind," she waved her hand, wilfully deflecting the shadow of Shang and Meihui and whatever they might to tonight to pollute her mind.

"Perhaps he is leaving me…—" she whispered, accepting her fate.

"Who is?" Hayabusa raised his brows. Mulan slapped her stray mouth, it was not the details that meant to be spoken out loud.

"Its…—I mean everyone is leaving…—as in  _away_. Yes, they are all…— _gone_."

Hayabusa tilted his head but seemed to be buying her lie. "That's what I am guessin'. When the cat's away the mice will play," he smirked, knowingly, Mulan smiled back, playing along.

"So tell me, who are these  _cats_ , huh?"

"Venerable Chi-Fu…..Prince of Wei…. our Captain…, " she gritted her teeth when the image of Shang returned, spreading like disease contaminating her senses. This time she snatched the cigarette out of Hayabusa's hand with eagerness. She took a deep breath until a wave of pleasure billowed.

"Prince of Wei you said?"

"Yes," Mulan replied, the image of Shao Wei in his red cape and looking perfectly out of place in the regiment full of underprivileged recruits made her broke into another train of delirious laughter.

"One night of fun won't do any harm," Hayabusa commented, returning her smile and offering her another dose of his cigarette.

"Exactly," Mulan approved, taking another puff. "Oh….!" she marvelled as the world around her burst into colourful fireworks. She looked up into the sky, strewn with stars along a rich milky path—the path that led into a dimension she had never seen, deeper and more enduring than she ever recognized.

"This is…  _amazing_ ," she drawled, felly an overwhelming feeling of comfort, happiness and trust.

"I know right?" Hayabusa nodded in agreement. "Talking of which. Where is your encampment?"

* * *

 

Attila was sitting on the far side of the hill when he captured the glimpse of his mentor, Hayabusa, by the lake, dancing mindlessly with a young Chinese soldier in his hands.

The scene looked absurd to him, but he was certain Hayabusa wasn't drunk or intoxicated. His mentor was far more careful to let his guard lose in a place invested with a throng of bandits, pickpockets and criminals around.

Attila prowled closer and hid behind the shrub. He clicked his tongue softly, making his presence known only to Hayabusa. A few minutes later, his mentor joined him, ducking behind the coppice with a big smile on his face.

"My instinct is right," he told Attila. "Thank goodness you didn't kill that dirty Chinese urchin," he said while scribbling something on the parchment from under his sash. "Here. Inform General Shan Yu to assemble the army," he instructed, handing the message to Attila.

"Tell him—In a fortnight, Northern Wei will be ours. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Do you think Mulan will find out the truth about Shang and Meihui? Do you think Shang will eventually figure out his wife was under his nose all the time? And... how will Mulan hid her pregnancy as the months passed? All will be revealed soon.
> 
> This is my longest chapter yet. Review and fave are cherished. Thank you for reading :-)


	18. The Tough Guy

The chilly autumn rain pounded the earth that evening, just as Shang and Meihui concluded their journey. Arriving in Xi'an, they stayed in a motel closest to the market square, posing as a pair of siblings from overseas looking for a little fortune and opportunity to trade.

The room was small, the decoration was spartan and lacking furnishing with just a single tatami bed and small pillow―very unfavourable sleeping arrangement considering Shang couldn't (well, he could… but his pride wouldn't) let a woman sleep on the floor. While they could well afford to rent two room, Shang worried it might raise some suspicion. It didn't make sense for him to sleep in a different room alienating his sister. So, he left with no choice.

"Captain Li, you can take the bed. I have enough good night sleep last night," Meihui offered when she saw Shang struggled to get comfortable, curling in an awkward position on the dinky corner of the room.

"No, I am fine Miss Meihui. You go ahead and sleep."

"You are  _fine_?" she chuckled. "You are sandwiched between the wall and the bed with not even an inch of space to turn. I think your definition of 'fine' needs some adjustment."

"Yes. But believe me, I've been in worse," Shang said stubbornly.

Meihui rolled her eyes. "You know…You don't have to act tough all the time. Even the mightiest warrior have to accept help from weaklings sometimes," she said and burst out laughing when Shang gaped at her. "Oh, I was only joking. Of course you…― _Mr. Tough Guy_ _―_ You go ahead and sleep and enjoy the cold floor while I suffer the luxury of this warm, comfy bed."

"Thank you," Shang deadpanned, although couldn't help to hide his smirk at Meihui's banter.

The floor was cold, slightly damp and the corner of the room barely could contain his large frame. But Shang's aching body really couldn't care any less. He sighed contentedly as he laid on its hard surface. The coldness of the floor felt like a force that seeped into his muscle, undoing its knots and helped it to relax.

* * *

The next day they rose early and combed the entire market from north to south. And for once Chi-Fu was right. Meihui helped him navigate through the crowd and assisted him to stay natural and anonymous in the crowd. He could pretend he was talking to her when clearly his attention was elsewhere.

By late afternoon, Shang began to see the enormity of the task at hand. Xi'an market was filled with hundreds, if not, thousands of stalls. There was exceeding number of people coming in and out. Without any clues or specifics, looking for a man in the place this busy was like trying to find a needle in haystacks.

And he was right.

Three days passed without any progress. The longer it took to track the Prince, the more frustrated Shang became. Why were there so many people, stalls and alleyway? There were at least five main arteries that branched into countless smaller back alleys should the Prince wish to conceal himself.

Shang began to fear the search would be fruitless until days later and all the hassle of taking Meihui and abandoning the training would be nothing but a waste of time!

 _Oh, you fool. You shouldn't have listened to Chi-Fu and allow your curiosity get a better of you,_ rebuked the voice in his mind.

He should've stayed and stayed focus in training his recruits….or perhaps allowed himself to speak to Ping about his strange behaviour during their spar instead of leaving things unresolved between them.

He should've….―

 _There is no use of regrets._ The voice inside his head admonished. Shang exhaled loudly. Frustration and regret sliced through him.

Just as he was about to give up all hope, something caught his attention.

" _Ms. Chua_ _―_ _The Healer"_ , the sign said.

 _He was ill._  Ling's voice echoed in his head.  _Well, I suspected he was._ Ling pressed a paper into his palm. Shang had limited knowledge in herbal-remedy, but he was certain the dosage prescribed on the paper was meant to last for months, if not a year.  _Healer Chua,_ the scribbled on the bottom was signed.  _I saw Ping sneaking there as we went to the market. I got curious. And then I saw this inside his sack._  Ling explained.  _I trusted you are a man of good heart and integrity, Captain,_ he said as he folded back the paper. Shang nodded. He understood that Ling had trusted him with a great secret that possibly would ruin his friendship with Ping forever.  _This will remain between us,_  he had promised.

"Hey, are you alright?" Meihui's voice snapped Shang out of his stupor.

"I..―" Shang quickly tore his eyes from the sign he had been staring for a minute or so. The question was running through his mind like a wild horse. "I…I'm fine."

" _Fine_?" Meihui narrowed her eyes.

"Yes, I was just thinking about…" Shang frantically looked for an idea for a convincing cover story. A book stall appeared on the corner of his eyes gave him just the idea. "I am looking for a gift for my wife," he said. Which wasn't strictly a lie, he was thinking a lot about what Meihui said a few days earlier about him and his stubborn wife. About why he failed to understand and appreciate her quality and zealousness. Perhaps, he should make an amend and initiated the first move to fix their strained relationship. He figured a gift would be perfect.

"Oh?" It was clear Meihui didn't expect such thoughtfulness came out of him, which stung a little, but he let it slip. There was a bigger elephant in the room to address.

"My wife loves to read. Books will be…"

"That's an excellent idea!" Meihui cut him and elbowed him on his side. "Then what are you waiting for? Go and find the most romantic tale that will melt her iron heart! Be careful though, some of those romance flicks can be outrightly graphics! Although not a bad idea for you and your wife to reenact." Meihui muffled her laughed when Shang turned red.

"I… I better get going."

"Shoo… _Tough Man_!" Meihui let a dainty chuckle.

Shang zipped through the crowds while his eyes trained at the sign above the healer's door.

 _Is it serious? incurable?_ Shang thought.  _Is it….terminal?_

Shang came to the door and knocked. A young lady brown robe who appeared to be the receptionist welcomed him.

"How can I help you, Sir?"

"Hello, I'm sorry. I just want to inquire. Is there a patient here by the name of Fa Ping?"

The ladies went inside to check her records, leaving Shang to peruse the almost full waiting room. There were a few men but mostly women of all size and way of life. Upon closer inspection, it was clear that Ms. Chua wasn't an ordinary healer.

She was a midwife.

 _Has Ping... Has he impregnated a woman?!_ The fourteen-year-old boy who had claimed coming here to defend the honour of his family….and had ended up between the sheets?

Shang could suddenly feel the sting of anger, disappointment piling up around him.

 _I know your son is a very capable man, General Li. But Li Shang is too young for such responsibility._ Chi-Fu's belittlement resonated in his ears. The old counsellor was always trying to find fault and discredit him in every opportunity that he possessed. If that old man knew not only he had let Ping slipped from under his surveillance but also giving that boy a chance to commit sacrilege act, that would be the end of his career.

 _How dare he! HOW DARE HE!_ Shang thought furiously.  _He was barely performing in the regiment and was spending….wait. No. Wasting was a better word! Wasting his time messing around with women!_

When the receptionist came out to inform him there was no patient with such a name, Shang was already gone.

* * *

Mulan woke up back inside the communal tent.

Her head hurt like hell.

She rose a hand to her head and the movement makes her dizzy. Her raging hangover told her she was either drunk or drugged last night.

Part of her instinct said she should at least told Ling or Chien-Po. But what should she tell them? That she was out there wasting herself with a bunch of strange men hoping would taste a little thrill of life? That she was trying to lessen the ache of her broken heart? What broken heart? Was she ready admitting to her friends that she was irretrievably in love with a man who would never, could never reciprocate her feeling?

Mulan sighed.

There was no memory other than she had joined with a few men to that extremely wild party in Wudan. Another part of her was relieved because whatever had happened last night couldn't be good.

Thankfully none of Mulan's comrade who had taken her breathed the truth. As they said, what happened in Wudan, stayed in Wudan.

Instead, one of the recruits, Wu told Chi-Fu they had spent the night doing  _harmless fun_  at the nearby village―whatever that implied. Chi-Fu seemed to care nothing about it and didn't question them further, and instead, passing them a long list of food to buy for General Li's visit. Ling was too busy telling Chien-Po about his latest romantic encounter with Ting Ting, an astoundingly beautiful and well-mannered girl. They, too, didn't question her absence last night when Wu said she was with him and other men, and they were all stayed up late playing mahjong at the bar.

Mulan groaned as she struggled to sit up. She considered going back to bed. There was no Shang, no training. No one would scold her for lateness or for lack of discipline. But her bladder clearly had a different priority.

Forcing herself to stand up, Mulan headed towards the river. On the way, she passed through Shang's tent which located on the far end of the encampment.

She heard a ruckus, and a shadow stormed out of the tent.

_Another woman?_

Mulan knew she wouldn't like whoever she saw coming out of Shang's tent―whether he was there or not―but she couldn't help but to look.

No. It's not a woman.

It was Yao, cursing and swearing profanities as he stomped out of Shang's tent. "You bastard!" she heard him screaming. "How dare you take what is mine! MINE! One of this day, I will make you pay! I swear!"

* * *

Ling trotted slowly behind Ping, Chien-Po and a few other recruits, feeding his sight on the dust under his feet.

"Ling, pick up your pace!" Wu scolded from his front.

"If you walked at this rate even all the women would've left the bar!"

"As if women would be interested in him," said a guy to Wu's left to which Wu shushed him with a laugh.

"Don't mind them," Mulan whispered gently.

"I second that," Chien-Po added.

Ling sighed and looked up at the sky which already turned dark by the time they arrived in Xi'an. Due to the sizeable purchase, Chi-Fu had sent a larger entourage to carry out the mission.

In a couple of days, General Li would visit the encampment to monitor their progress and selected those who would join Captain Li to the front line. While Ling took pride if he were to be chosen, it also could mean his life would be at stake.

As the time neared, Ling grew more melancholy. What if tomorrow were the last time he could see her? What if he found her with another man after he returned from war?

Unable to bear the secret any longer, Ling turned to Chien-Po, someone with a similar situation with him for a counsel.

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone," his friend told him. "You should tell her before it's too late."

Ling thought it was wise. Should this war end him, he didn't want to hold any regret of things left unsaid.

When Chi-Fu sent a group of them to Xi'an, Ling saw his chance. He immediately arranged a small gathering in their favourite tea house. The owner of the teahouse, Mr. Wang, graciously agreed and refused Ling's payment when he expressed his intention to book the entire room to themselves.

"That day happens to be my birthday, why don't Ms. Ting Ting played her erhu for me and we consider it done-deal," Mr. Wang said. It was an offer that no one could refuse.

When they arrived, the first pile of snow was ensconced outside the establishment. But the back room of the tea house was delightfully intimate, a small room with a fireplace, just as Ling wanted.

"Are you sure sitting on the floor will be a good idea?" asked Mr. Wang. "It's a little colder than usual, and the temperature plummeted once the sun is gone. You have been on your feet the whole day; I feel bad to let you sit uncomfortably."

Ling looked around the establishment that was already packed with people. There was no place for them to sit on the mat, taking note Chien-Po would likely to take two or three spaces at once.

"I'm sure after a long journey everyone would appreciate just about anything. Thank you, Mr. Wang," he assured.

"I'll prepare the tea then," Mr. Wang smiled.

"That would be appreciated," Chien-Po bowed before he took a seat. A few other recruits huddled in front of the fireplace while Ping huddled to Chien-Po for warmth. Ling understood they had no time to waste and gestured to Ting Ting to start.

Ting Ting took his cue, taking a tiny sip from her ceramic cup and started tuning her erhu. All conversation stopped, everyone watched her do this. After a moment she became aware of the sea of attention fixed on her and looked up sheepishly.

"Shall I…. start?" she said, confidence draining from her feet.

"Well, we didn't come here to watch you tune… we want a song," Chien-Po said, chuckling and exchanging meaningful glances with Ping.

Ting Ting's cheek reddened, looking undeniably bashful. They all gushed with "D'awww" and laughed.

"We're going to stare at you without mercy then," another recruit teased.

"Ok… fine. I am not the best, but I hope this will do."

She drew her bow across the string. Within a few notes, she had all of them enchanted, eyes mesmerised while beautiful melody was twisting around them. The fire from the lantern flickered from all around them as the Milky Way burst into view above, whirling across the sky like a diamond in the sea.

Ling glanced at Chien-Po, who had his chubby chin propped on his hand, smiling with a dopey look on his eyes. "I see what you mean, Ling," he said softly.

"About what?"

Chien-Po sighed and gestured towards Ting Ting with his eyes. "This… she is…― _This_  can't be helped."

"I know," Ling shook his head. "Some days I can hardly believe it."

"Believe what?"

"She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I will make her mine," he said, pulling a jade pendant out of his pocket. "I managed to sneak and bought this just now."

Chien-Po gasped. "You are going to propose her? This soon?"

"Idle fantasy does not make a relationship," Ling said. "Besides, pretty girl like her won't hang around that long. I have to act swiftly and cease the opportunity."

"You are right," Chien-Po agreed. "If she said yes, I take it you will be asking her parents for her hand."

"I know it's only been a short while, but I…―" Ling closed his eyes, like thinking deeply. "I have never been so sure in my life."

"You are one lucky man," Chien-Po grinned goofily.

"I am."

A beautiful serenade filled the air. Ling sighed with delight.  _Perfect_  would be an understatement―to be here, with his friends, and his beautiful enchantress was weaving her spell all over them. What could be better? Even if he never made it out of the war alive, this would be a final bouquet of the memory of her, something that he could pin closed to his heart as he faced enemy's spear.

When the song finished, everyone clapped. Ling took the chance as a perfect moment to dedicate the jade pendant and offered the words he had rehearsed thousand times over last night. The crowds burst into another cheer.

To his dismay, there were no tears of joy. There was no hug. No acceptance. And no misty eyes as Ting Ting accepted his gift. She looked shell-shocked. Petrified even.

"Oh, you two look so cute together!" Tian gushed, suddenly materialised out of nowhere. "...but I'm afraid the cuteness had to come to an end. We have to go now," she said, tugging Ting Ting's hand with a force, giving the girl barely a chance to respond.

"Sorry, urgent family matter," Tian said to no one in particular.

Ling, assuming the explanation was directed to him, nodded and smiled understandingly although sting of disappointment sliced through him.

"See you soon," he said with his eyes fixated to Ting Ting until her figure disappeared from view.

* * *

Most of the recruits went out of the establishment still rather mystified by Ting Ting's enchanting play. All, except for Mulan and Chien-Po, who obviously knew how much Ting Ting's unexpected response had crushed their best friend.

"She didn't say 'no'," placated Chien-Po.

"And she actually accepted your gift," Mulan pointed out. "That's a good sign."

Chien-Po hummed his agreement. "Give her some time until the reality sinks in."

Ling sighed, defeat still evident."But what if she said  _no_?"

Mulan frowned at him.  _Like it matters what she said? You can marry any girl as long as her parents agreed. You can deal with her as you pleased and treated her as your property! As your possession! Just like Shang did to me._ She wanted to say, but she bit her words.  _No. Ling was a far more dignified man than someone who will force his will to a helpless woman just because he can._

So Mulan swallowed her own emotion and smiled at her friend. "If she is the woman worthy of your love, she won't say no."

* * *

A dose of warm tea and beautiful song did do wonders. Feeling rejuvenated, Wu, acting as the team-leader, divided the group and delegated each team with a portion of Chi-Fu's long shopping list before the day concluded.

"Let's go," Mulan said, dragging Ling with her. "We have a couple of hours before the market completely shut." She hoped keeping Ling busy would take his mind off Ting Ting.

Thankfully, it didn't take much cajoling to lift up Ling's spirit. After minutes into the task, he began to tell embarrassing stories, crack lame jokes and laugh at them.

It was until…

"Is that… Prince of Wei?" Mulan whispered, urgently tugging Ling to lower down. The Prince of Wei was seen wearing a plain two-piece robe, but his exceptionally muscular, taller than average stature distinguished him from the assemblage of peasants, making him an easy target to spot. The Prince was seen skirting around the marketplace watchfully towards the edge of the square.

"That can't be. He supposed to be in Chang'an for some important meeting; I saw it on the schedule sheet as we signed out our name from Chi-Fu's attendance list," Ling confided.

"Then, why is he….here?"

They were briefly staring at each other, trapped at their own bewilderment.

"Watch out. He is heading here!" Mulan warned, shrinking underneath the shadow while Ling whistled some cheesy romantic song as though it made him totally inconspicuous.

Thankfully, Shao Wei seemed to be totally oblivious of the invasion of his personal agenda, proceeding to head towards his destination.

Both recruits cunningly camouflaged themselves and blended into the crowds. After inspecting their surrounding, they prowled and approached the nearby wall furtively, making sure the Prince didn't notice their presence.

Mulan strategically hid behind an umbrella seller, standing an earshot away from the Prince to eavesdrop, while Ling stood further away.

"You are late!" A girl with a thin pink veil obstructing her face admonished warmly. Her finger flicked her lustrous, long hair in unconscious grace. Mulan thought she recognised that voice but the cacophony around her made it impossible to make a conclusive judgement.

The Prince grinned. "I had to look presentable for my princess, no?"

Laughing, the girl shook her head. "You always look handsome," she flattered, her finger brushing the Prince's arm fondly.

 _My Princess?_  Mulan questioned the intimate way the Prince addressed the girl. The faint shadow of her crimson lips curled upwards, flaunting her disarming smile. At the moment, everything about her was screaming 'love interest' right atop her head.

_Wait, if this girl is the Prince's potential romantic interest....then, who is the mysterious woman in the woods?_

Then, Mulan remembered the story Chi-Fu shared. As a young man, Shao Wei's life had been defined by the latest party, the latest drunken binge, the latest string of nameless women… Although he was studious, witty and never took his responsibility lightly, he'd run fast and far from any hint of commitment, especially when it dealt with the subject of choosing a wife.

There were more people festering the place, so Mulan moved away to avoid unwanted attention. Constantly focusing on her target, she prowled behind the clothing stalls and stood next to one of the customers, pretending to be passionately interested in one of the garment. It was then she noticed Ling was no longer with her.

Mulan crept closer so she could have a better view of the Prince. He took out the content of his sack: a box of delicacies, a woven cashmere throws with gold thread, and a few other stuff Mulan couldn't exactly identify but looked that they may have cost the world.

"Spying again I see," said the voice that nearly made Mulan yelp.

"Mushu!" she hissed.

The dragon grinned, "Miss me I see! So, have we lost interest in Captain Handsome and spying someone else? Mm…?"

Mulan rolled her eyes and returned to the object of her interest. The Prince was still regaling the mysterious woman with his gift. But someone seemed to capture the Prince's attention. A beggar, sitting about a stone throw away. He was poorly clothed ― his garment was minimal, dirty, and ragged. He sat cross-legged, slightly further from the entire commotion, shivering mildly from the incessant early wintry breeze. Next to him was a tattered, large linen bags that probably held his entire belonging, and a small tin was placed on the ground not far where he sat.

"Wait here," he said to the girl. He zipped quickly and returned without that expensive blanket in his hand.

"I hope you don't mind I've given that…―"

"Shao!" the girl admonished. "You know I have countless cashmere throws."

"Do you?" he said, blinking his eyes innocently.

She rolled her eyes. "You gave me a dozen of them on my birthday and I haven't even had a chance to use them yet!"

He shrugged, brow raised. "And your point is…?"

"I have enough blanket," she said, pointing to her shoulder that was wrapped neatly in a modest-looking material. "This works just fine."

"Seem like you acclimated well to the life of a peasant," he said in jest.

The girl gave him a faux-annoyed glare. "War will eliminate anyone. Rich or poor. Nobility or peasant. Your words, not mine."

"Relax, I am only joking," Shao smirked, flaunting his flirty smile as he encased her with his arms.

The girl sighed, melting in his touch. "Not terrible to be honest. There is a hard aspect of it, but mostly… I enjoyed the friendship and freedom it's offered." 

Mulan couldn't exactly hear most of the conversation, but at least she could watch the interaction between the Prince and the girl with relative ease. However, after minutes watching the exchange, Mulan decided it's time to come closer and decipher what they were truly discussing. When she saw her chance, he slipped and crouched down behind a stack of the crates full of pumpkin, listening.

"And oh," the girl interrupted herself. "I meant to tell you about something," she said, somewhat reluctantly. "Uuuh,  _someone_  actually…―"

"Someone?"

"Yes."

Mulan crept closer but accidentally pushed one of the crates, and one pumpkin fell with a heavy thud. She cringed.

"Shhh…." the Prince swiftly covered the girl's mouth with his hand.

"What….what happened?" the girl whispered, sounding half-terrified, half-perplexed.

"Someone is watching," he replied, clearly looking agitated. Mulan froze where she stood.

"But I suppose you are aware you can't hide me here forever, aren't you?" the girl said again. Mulan dared herself to peek through the gap between the crates.

"I know," Shao sighed, wiping a hand across his face, suddenly the tiredness looked so profound in his eyes. "But, you have to understand, this is the only way… I won't let him did this to you, treating you like a mere property and giving you up to that man!"

"But Father might be right; this may be the only way to…―"

"No!" Shao said adamantly, grabbing her by her arms. "You have to understand the only man that can protect you is me! Understand?"

"I… ―" she choked. "Ouch…"

He suddenly snapped from his tirade and loosened his grip. "I'm...I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," she said understandingly.

They just stood there, staring in silence for a minuted or two. Until the Prince began, "You trust me, don't you?" he said after clearing his throat. "I am the only person who can protect you from all this. As long as I live, I won't let  _him_  touch you. Do you hear me, Ting Ting?"

 _Wait, Ting Ting?!_ Mulan gasped. It took her a minute to peruse the girl's semi-concealed appearance to conclusively deduced that indeed the girl was the same Ting Ting that she knew.

_Is she, his secret lover or something?_

A terrible thought struck her.

What if she was with him for money? Shao Wei had unlimited resources in that aspect. Or probably he was blackmailing her? Forcing her to be his sex-slave or some sort? But no. Those exchange didn't look….transactional. In fact, it looked far too genuine...and mutual.

"Holy cow," Mushu's voice piped in her ear.

"Ling wouldn't like this," Mulan whispered back.

"But you risked everything! Shao, please… just send me―send me away. To Japan or somewhere remote," Ting Ting implored.

"No. I have devised another plan. Altan has agreed to help me."

"The daughter of the Huns' leader? Didn't you hear yourself? You are going to form allies with the Huns just for…―No. I object," she tore herself from his arms. "I know you meant well, but if anyone discovered your ploy... you'd be accused of an act of treason. And the Emperor will have you executed as a traitor!"

"He wouldn't dare!" he snorted.

Ting Ting just pursed her lips, seeming to be entirely unsurprised by Shao's pretentious declaration. "When the sword is on your neck, it'll be too late for regret."

"We'll see about that," Shao replied with a smug smirk. "I'd say if there is one with fine sword-skill as I to one duel with Uncle Xiongnu, he would be the one who ends up six feet under."

"This is a serious drama." Mulan felt Mushu's breath tickling her ear. "I need some crackers and dumpling to watch this," he added.

"Shush Mushu!"

Her voice triggered Shao's instinctive reaction of scanning his surrounding. She forgot that only she could see and hear this annoying deity.

Mulan felt her presence was definitely unwelcome, carefully inched away from the behind the crates and into the crowd, while Mushu, pantomiming a slicing motion on his own neck and grinning mischievously.

Mulan sighed but choosing to selectively disregard him.

 _Does Shao Wei has a personal vendetta against the Emperor? Is he really planning to form allies with the Huns behind everyone's back? Who is "him" they are talking about?_  That's serious food for thought. Which was probably why she didn't notice the sudden movement to her left until she collided with a strange man, falling to the ground on her hands and knees.

"Ouch," she moaned, feeling the scrapes on her palms. She got up and caught her balance and looked up. A man. Well, a gigantic man stared back.

"I…―" she stuttered, taking in his huge, imposing structure and his mean tattoos that covered his entire arms and neck.

"Oh dear Guan Kim, not again!" Mushu moaned. "Do you ever use those eyes of yours, Girl? There are there not just for accessories you know?"

Mulan ignored Mushu's mocking and concentrated on the impending doom that currently staring indignantly at her.

It wasn't clear to Mulan whether the man was Chinese or Huns, a bandit or a soldier. What she knew was: he was the biggest man she ever saw. And If she thought giants only existed in a land of fantasy and fabled legends, today, she believed they were real.

"Hey!" he roared like a hungry predator, swinging his sausage hands in her direction. His smile was sinister and Mulan could sense his agitation leashed inside his athletic body. While she knew the civilised way was to admit her clumsiness and apologise but her survival instinct told her to run.

"Come here you, Buckethead!" The man screamed.

"Run! No… left left… no! Look out!" Mushu commanded, holding desperately to the tip of her collar. "For the love of Fa ancestor, please use your eyes this time."

"I am  _trying_!" Mulan said between her heave. "Can't you shut up so I can concentrate?"

Unfortunately, in her haste of keeping her eye to her back and making sure she kept a distance with the infuriated hooligan, Mulan forgot to keep her eyes in front until she hit another concrete chested man who she imagined would be just as scary. So, when the man grabbed one of her hand, her defence reflexes automatically fired her other free hand to hit the man square on his face.

"Ouch!"

Wait, she recognised that voice. Slowly looking up, she saw the profile of Shang, rubbing his nose. Her first instinct was to touch the assaulted spot on Shang's face, but that would look...wrong in so many angles. So instead, rubbed the back of her neck and grinned sheepishly.

"Cap… Captain Li, Sir, I… ―I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," she stuttered, wanting to sound as sharp but ended sounded like a student giving a lame excuse of forgetting his homework to his teacher.

"So much of using those damn eyes," Mushu grumbled into her ears.

"He should've deflected my hand," she muffled her own voice behind her hand.

"I guess he didn't know that you want to ruin his handsome face deliberately," Mushu commented, which perhaps contributed to Shang's current dazed look and his failure to respond to her direct attack on his nose. "He will have a crooked nose for the rest of his life―no longer able to participate in any form of duplicity, is that your jealousy sated now?"

_Jealousy?_

And that was it. That twinge of twisting feeling rising its ugly head. But before it spread, she saw Shang swiftly picking up the scroll that must've been accidentally knocked off during their struggle. Her eyes may be useless at spotting obstacle on the road, but they didn't fail to capture important details. The scroll had an intricate gold seal and purple ribbon wrapped around it. On the tip of the silky material, it's spelt out.  _To my wife, Fa-Li Mulan_.

Had he…. Had he bought her a….  _gift_?

Her jealousy was zapped instantly as though it was killed with a double-edged sword. The remnant was only a feeling of remorse and guilt. Surely, a man convicted of extramarital affair won't bring his wife a thoughtful gift, won't he? Had he been thinking about her? Had he... _missed_  her?

"Ping! What are you doing here?" Shang's voice snapped her from her mental monologue. There was a deep scowl etched on his face that immediately shattered her romantic fantasy.

"I… shopping, er...Ling, and….―a man. Run and….―I hit….―" Those were the only explanation she could verbalise. Shang raised one of his brows, crossing his muscular arms looking perfectly unimpressed with her fragmented, nonsensical excuse. Hell, he was still handsome. How could that even possible? It should be a crime to look hot even when he was angry, no?

Thankfully, despite the randomness of her sentence, when Shang saw a large man stomped and yelled questions to a passerby, he immediately acknowledged what must've happened and understood the grim trouble she was in.

He pulled her roughly aside, blending into the crowd and into a quiet back alleyway behind the shops. She felt his arms tighten around her fractionally before he let her go, allowing her the much-needed distance between them.

"You better have a good explanation about this!"

She looked up at him and watched in fascination as the surprised and shock slowly melted away, transitioning into bone-deep anger that could have scared anyone else. No. Not her.

"I told you! I was just helping Ling to shop!" Mulan just tilted her chin up in defiance and watched the anger spike higher.

Shang only returned her look with his signature "perpetual stare of death" and raised his brows in challenge to what she said. "And?"

"And I…―" she realised she shouldn't spy on the Prince and despite her discovery, she wasn't planning to tell Shang just yet. It was a dangerous allegation to accuse Prince of Wei without conclusive evidence. Amending her reply in her head, she swallowed back her words and decided to take a sudden passionate interest at her boots.

" _This_  will have consequences," he growled through gritted teeth, answering her silence.

Mulan kept her eyes trained on her feet, and only answered a weak "Yes…. yes sir."

* * *

"It seems like I won't be able to accompany you to the market anymore," Mulan grounded out as she shifted a pile of horse dung, courtesy of Shang after being caught in the market earlier that day.

"You gave up on me already?" Ling whined, brows knotted in faux annoyance. "What kind of friend are you, Ping?"

"But you are looking oddly cheerful for a person that scoops horse dung," Chien-Po said, drumming the table with his chubby finger. It was the comment Mulan chose to pretend didn't hear. The recent discovery about her husband and how wrong she was of accusing him of infidelity had made her felt indescribably relieved and elated to the cloud nine. Even shifting horse dung felt like shifting gold at the moment.

"I know her curve and looks are to die for, Ling. But I ain't gonna scoop any more crap for you. Doesn't matter how gorgeous, respectable and of excellent-descent Ting Ting is," Mulan feigned an exasperated sigh. A really fake exasperated sigh.

Ling snickered, passing a bottle of rice wine, purposely skipped Mulan and let Chien-Po had a double go at it.

"Hey!" Mulan whined when Ling simply swatted her waiting hand.

"No wine for the P-lady. And until we have the confirmation of those barley seeds, I ain't gonna let you drink. Not even a sip!"

"And you just stood there watching the P-lady doing this?" Mulan gestured towards a pile of fresh manure with her shovel. Ling chuckled and shook his head. "Unbelievable! You are worse than Captain Li."

Ling ignored that, unceremoniously taking the bottle back from Chien-Po and took another big gulp.

"I am glad I had a chance to meet Ting Ting," Chien-Po said between gulp. "She is smart, good-looking, respectable, polite. An exact opposite of the brainless twits your mother asked you to marry previously."

When Ling gave him a blank look, he went on with his statement. "Have you forgotten? The one who has uneven teeth and blatantly demanded your family heirloom as her dowry," Chien-Po reminded him. "She is a gold digger alright. Thank god your father still have a brain and refused her parent's offer straight away."

Ling coughed and gasped. "You mean Zhen Mei? You… you still remember?"

Chien-Po laughed. "How can I forget? Especially when her name literally means  _beautiful_  and  _innocent_!" He guffawed harder causing his belly to jiggle. "Now, that's my friend what I called  _tragic_!" he paused, easing his laugh. "Although, thinking about it… it was my mother who introduced her to your parents."

"So much of a friend you are!" Ling waved his accusing finger at him.

"Hey, you should thank me!" Chien-Po chastised him. "I broke my arm and you ended delaying your wedding for ten weeks to help me around the house. Otherwise, you may end up marrying a pregnant woman!"

"You were nearly betrothing a pregnant woman?" Mulan turned to Ling who sat horrified at the memory.

"Long story," Ling cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Apparently, a few months before, she was on the way to Chang'an hauling some exquisite handmade jewellery for sale. Her father was an excellent stone craftsman. Why had he sent his daughter on this unescorted journey far north will be a story for another day," Ling coughed.

"And?"

"Seeing the sign of snowy blizzard, she made this unanimous decision to alter the route and crossed the wilderness to save time," Ling continued. "A group of bandits sensing the smell of money in the air decided to follow her. Thankfully, a warrior who happened to travel in the opposite direction came to her aid, however, ended up losing all his belongings and his horse in the process. So, they ended up stuck in a cave for weeks due to the snow, with only each other for warmth... and _entertainment_."

"Woah," Mulan said, completely awed.

"Saved the Princess, claimed his prize," Chien-Po chimed in as Ling closed his story.

"But any man will do the same. So I have no beef with that dude," Ling stated levelly.

"Wait, you mean? You'll bang her too given the situation?" Chien-Po said, both shocked and amazed… and perhaps a tiny bit envious.

Ling's face turned red. "Yeah. I'm gonna have to say yeah. I am going to say no. But yeah…" he said, rambling a bit due to wine.

Mulan turned to Chien-Po. "Chien-Po, how about you?"

The man considered the situation. "Does she…  _wants_  to―, uhm,  _reward_  me?"

"Let's assume for a second that she wants to," Ling butted in, tipping the rest of the bottle to his mouth.

"Does she still have this crooked teeth?"

"Ack. No. Let's pretend she is a beautiful princess with perfectly pristine, well-aligned teeth. Shiny. Like a mother of pearl!" Ling lured.

"Like a princess will give me the time of the day," Chien-Po muttered.

"Chien-Po!" Ling groaned, getting impatient. "You are killing me here. Just answer the damn question like a normal man!"

"Like hell you will know what is  _normal_."

"Answer. The. Question!"

"I told you, I would if she wanted to. But if she's a princess, she probably doesn't. A peasant like me doesn't even exist to those girls."

"I am sensing issues here," Mulan said, watching both semi-inebriated men having a fierce argument about a fictional situation involving banging a fictional princess with fictional pearly teeth. Which was a wrong move, because suddenly both men turned their attention to her. "Ping, would you?"

Mulan fell into thoughts and finally said. "Is she…. _cute_?"

Both men suddenly fell silent, eyes bulging like a bug.

" _Seriously_?" Ling said a little too loudly that Chien-Po covered his mouth. "Now, I didn't expect that coming."

"Geez, I guess we've learned something new about Ping today," Chien-Po said, still sounding incredulous.

"We... ugh," Ling pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ping, we've been friends for decades, and you never told me that you…―? Man! What else did I miss?"

"Oh no no no. It was a  _joke_!" Mulan said, laughing.

"Hell no. I am sure spending weeks with naked men have done funny things to you,  _Pretty_  Ping," Ling said, making a circular movement with his fingers on the side of his head. "Watch out cute men….and  _women_. Here comes Ping…"

Chien-Po laughed tipsily. "I am glad I am not single."

"You are  _single_ ," Ling jabbed his skinny finger until his large friend flinched.

"Am I?"

"Yeah," Ling said. "Until you are officially married to Su, you'll say you  _are_  single."

"Oh!" Chien-Po retorted thoughtfully. "But I am  _not_   _cute_  right?" he whispered to Ling before carefully stealing a glance at Mulan with the corner of his eyes.

"Oh dear ancestor, either you two are demented or there is something inside that rice wine," Mulan said, pointing at the empty bottle which was labelled "eL-eL" on it.

"Who is eL-eL?" she asked.

"Lanky Ling," Chien-Po chuckled and waved his stubby finger drowsily towards Ling.

"It was the name Ting Ting gave me," Ling said proudly. "Creative right? He called me Lanky Ling," he added, slapping his own chest in a masculine manner. "This is a gift from her weeks ago."

"And you think calling you that is a...  _compliment_?" Mulan raised her brow.

"Her admiration is undeniable," he said dreamily.

Mulan felt her heart sank. After spending the entire day building Ling's hope back up, how could she break the unpleasant discovery about Prince Shao Wei and Ting Ting?

"Maaaan!" Chien-Po slurred. "No wonder you seemed to be a magnet for… an….  _unique_  kind of chick!" It was clear  _unique_  wasn't the first word that popped into his mind.

"She said she isn't good with names. So she has to make interconnected points to help her brain to cope," Ling tried to explain.

Mulan cleared her throat, easing into the bad news. "What if. Just an 'if'. What if someone wants to betroth your beloved Ting Ting?"

" _Someone?!_ " Ling turned his head so suddenly Mulan thought she heard his bone cracked.

"Whoa, calm down. Remember just an "if"," she tried to assuage his shock.

"Why would she want this someone?" Ling nearly yelled.

"Maybe...maaaaay be he is rich or handsome!" Chien-Po slurred and laughed tipsily when Ling glared dagger at him.

"Are you saying I am not handsome?" Ling sounded insulted.

"Oh, gods..." Mulan immediately regretted the notion of trying to reason with two inebriated men.

"Well, if he is rich, good looking and powerful, she won't be able to decline even if she wanted to, right?" Chien-Po insisted.

"Soulmate won't discriminate against looks and wealth," Ling sneered. "And I am quite sure such man with those qualities doesn't even exist," Ling shook his head sceptically.

"Of course. Like a…a... a prince, for example. Powerful. Handsome. Rich. A  _fictional_  prince," Mulan emphasised, seeing her chance to clarify the truth inconspicuously.

Ling considered for a moment. "I am sure if it is love, she'll choose to elope with me. And we'll live happily ever after. The end!"

"Yes, and having a prince wanting to stick his sword through your guts for the rest of your life," Chien-Po chuckled.

Mulan nodded approvingly. "You won't live an easy life abhorred by a powerful man with eyes and ears everywhere."

"Clearly a prince will use his power and charisma to suppress the helpless victim," Ling commented. "But I won't let her go. With love everything is possible," Ling said stubbornly.

Mulan wanted to disagree. In this scenario, Ting Ting, despite her delicate frame, didn't look like helpless victims at all. She was the first to throw her arms around him. And the way she smiled and fondled his arms, the affection seemed to be mutual. 

"Love can't feed your hunger, can't pay the bill. I hope you are aware of that," Mulan reminded him.

"Hey thanks, that's so supportive of you," Ling said dryly. "I am quite certain that Ting Ting is my soulmate. She is the woman who is meant for  _me_. I can feel it right here…," he gestured at his heart. "...straight away when we met," and sighed dreamily.

"I am with you," Chien-Po said between hiccup. "Su and I are soulmates too."

Mulan fell into thought. Yes, she used to believe in those dreams―a dream someone who had her name engraved in his heart. It's the one person who knew her, and accepted her, and believed in her before anyone else did or when no one else would. But now…?

"That's a myth," Mulan shook her head signing her disagreement. "There is no such things as soulmate. You two haven't married yet….that's why."

Soulmate was something whispered about at sleepovers, that little girls dream about with childish romanticism. Those dreams die with age and dawning reality, just like what she experienced with Shang. Despite the positive shift of their relationship today, Mulan believed fairytale ending was only a fictional tale―a figment of author's imagination. There was no love, only two pragmatic people who tried to be realistic and practical about building and sharing a household together.

"Ok, why don't we bet," Ling challenged. "If we still madly in love even way beyond our wedding day, you will have to clean my shoes!"

"Ugh, I may need surgical masks to deal with that," Mulan joked.

"But if you lose," Ling grinned evilly. "You have to compliment Captain Shirtless in front of us."

Mulan gasped."What?!"

"I saw you by the hill with him. You were all moon-eyed by Captain Tall, Dark and Handsome." He ended the sentence with mischievous brows waggle. "But don't worry, I promised never to tell your husband. What's in the camp stays in the camp."

Mulan pressed her lips together to repress any indication of emotion from showing. Thankfully none of her friends witnessed the visceral response she had at the sighting of Shang and Meihui. There would be questions to no end. "Ling, Captain Li and I are just...friends."

As the words just left her lips, a glimpse of Shang followed by Chi-Fu paraded in front of them. It was the usual sight: the old councillor babbled mindlessly while barely interested Shang was putting his best behaviour by not yanking the man's tongue from his mouth.

Thankfully for Shang, one of the recruits had asked for a quick spar practice with him and Shang, despite his bad-mood, couldn't afford to say no.

So Shang shed his shirt and took the training sticks.

The other guy didn't quite have Shang's height or leanness; instead, he's squarely built, all solid bulk and flat panes of muscle. And scars. Mustn't forget the scars. Mulan had learned a lot about scars since she met Li Shang. They're important.

They watched as Shang shifted his stance and brought the sticks around, managing somehow to flip the other guy up and over, so he landed hard on his back.

It had to hurt, but the man just lets out an "Oof" of lost air, then smiled good-naturedly at Shang―who again, still his broody self.

"I do wonder what Captain Li was thinking right now?" Ling said suddenly, making Mulan jumped on her seat.

"He is incredibly broody for incredibly handsome man," Chien-Po piped in. "If he smiled just a tiny bit more, I am sure many women would swoon on his feet."

Suddenly Ling turned to her and prodded, "Tell me―if suppose you were single―is Captain Li your type?" he said a little too loud.

"Shush, Ling!" Mulan hissed in alarm, glancing toward where Shang was sitting, wiping his sweaty brows. He was bare-chested, stony expression as usual. Well, no. In fact, he looked annoyed. The line of creases between his brows looked vicious and deep, making his serious expression far more terrifying than usual.

"I swear. I bet he is taking his robe on just to take it off again―in front of everyone," Ling scoffed.

"I will be stripping off naked if my body was half as good as his," Chien-Po remarked while Ling nearly spat his drink for the second time.

"Thank god you are not," Ling made a gesture of worship to the heaven.

"But he has the appropriate physique that will turn your inner like jelly," Chien-Po supplied, eyes still admiring Captain's Li undoubtedly sculpted body.

"Oh dear, you too?" Mulan said with a fake surprise, while Ling was laughing out loud.

"If you want. But you may be more interested with my fiance, Su," Chien-Po bantered back.

"Oh. My giddy aunt," Ling shook his head, wiping the tears of mirth on his eyes.

"For crying out loud, you guys. I am going to bed," Mulan announced. She admitted it was refreshing to have these two idiots with her.

"Yeahhh...?" Chien-Po drawled. "But with who?" Both inebriated men clinked their empty bottles together and burst into laughter only to stop when they saw a glimpse of Yao, stomping indignantly into the communal tent.

"What is his problem?" Ling lowered his voice.

Chie-Po grinned smugly. For once he had defeated Ling in the gossip-hearing department. He signalled both of them to come closer.

"I heard that he found his fiance's necklace at Captain Li's tent," he shared.

"He….What?"

Chien-Po lowered his voice even more. "Meihui, his fiance. Chi-Fu told Yao earlier to clean up Captain Li's tent, and he found her necklace on his bed. And someone else saw them leaving together. How on earth he managed to sneak a woman into this den of men is another mystery, but imagine that: _On.His.Bed!_ "

"Oh," Ling leaned back, absorbing the story with his alcohol-addled brain. "I wouldn't be surprised if Captain Li will lose his balls one of these days."

Both men fought a grin while Mulan tried not to say anything.

* * *

It was past midnight when Mulan heard a ruckus on their communal sleeping quarter, only to find Chi-Fu gloating at the tent entrance and shouting with a loud voice.

"Fa Ping," beckoned the familiar nasally voice. Mulan looked up and saw Chi-Fu sending her a dirty look. "Captain Li wished to see you in his tent. Now!" he said gruffly.

It was obvious he hadn't forgiven her for her undeliberate incineration attempt even when Shang pointed out that she was generally a threat to anyone around him.

" _His arrow went straight to my tent!" Chi-Fu exclaimed, retelling the misfortune that had befallen to his tent. "How can you say it was unintentional Captain Li?"_

She remembered Shao Wei who was happened to be there, was laughing profusely.

" _I'm sure it's nothing personal, Fa Ping just has an indescribable talent of surprising us all," Shang said again, this time didn't bother to hide his satisfied smirk._ It was one of those rare days she saw him smiling. _Is that it?_ She thought. Shang would only smile at her stupidity and carelessness? Did he enjoy watching her humiliating herself?

Her internal battle was drawn to a sudden halt when she saw Shang approaching. She wondered what brought him this late at night, only to find the Captain wearing his grim mask on with Khan on his hand.

Her blood ran cold. She knew that this meeting wouldn't be without repercussion.

"Fa Ping." Shang's voice was decidedly neutral and devoid of emotion. "I'm afraid there won't be further training for you," he explained, in the kind of absolute tone that Mulan had come to detest.

"Excuse me?" she said. Part of her was sure it was just a joke, until Shang unceremoniously handed over Khan's reins. That was when reality struck her like lightning.

Shang sighed heavily as he saw Chi-Fu ushering the young boy from the communal tent towards his.

Shang had made peace with himself about Ping's scandalous behaviour―whether it was indiscretions, a one night stand or it was soberly planned. Ping's future as a man and his sexual adventure wasn't his business to meddle.

 _The boy is old enough to join the army hence was old enough to make a conscious decision about his personal life._ Shang told himself. Yes, his job here was to shape Ping into a soldier worthy of battle, not policing the boy's moral conduct. His principle may not be Ping's principle, and he was in no place to judge. The area beyond the training camp was the territory he should never cross.

But it didn't make his job any easier. For the last hour or so Shang had been battling with himself what he should do with Ping.

 _Just assess his ability objectively,_ said the inner monologue in his head.  _Do you think he is a man worthy to bear arms?_

With the last year or two of his life having been consumed with this relentless war, Shang knew with horrifyingly explicit detail exactly how brutal battlefield really was. It may be a place of victory and freedom, but it was also a place of death and defeat. And after weeks of training, it was clear that Ping bore no future in the war.

_You should send him home._

The rational part of him recognised that made sense and was completely valid, the irrational part of him, on the other hand, wanting Ping to…―

 _Are you having a second thought now?_  Part of him rebuked.  _Why do you want that boy badly to...stay?_

It was the question Shang himself was trying hard to answer. But as a creature of logic, he went with his rationale. Therefore, he took Khan's rein and called Ping to meet him behind his tent.

"Please understand that I did this for your own good," Shang said, after delivering the bad news. "I appreciate all your dedication and hard work…In my own term, I wish to keep you―I really do," he added, schooling the best steely facade on his face. "However that would be a selfish thing to do. Because…" He swallowed his own emotion, which was weird. He had dismissed countless recruits before and he had never felt any dismay other than disappointment that they had failed. Thankfully, his stone-cold expression that he had honed throughout the decades seemed to cover his brief emotional lapse.

"The last thing I want is for your father to bury you than you to bury him. You are still very young, Fa Ping, there are plenty of things ahead of you. Now… pack your things and go home," he said, with artificially cold, unsympathetic voice.

"But…―"

"There is no but, Ping," he said firmly. A little bit of annoyance seeping into his voice.

"Is this because of what happened in the marketplace? Or...or to Chi-Fu's tent. I swear, Captain it was an accident… because I…―"

"I said it's over!" He had managed to keep his voice from elevating past Ping's loud voice into yelling territory.

"Brother Li, please!" The boy was trying to remind him of their blood connection. "I can't go home, you know what my father will do. I can't let it happen," he pleaded. Shang could see Ping's chest shook in an attempt to curb the emotional sob that threatening to unleash itself.

 _And I couldn't let you stay here to mess around with women,_ Shang thought angrily. He took some time to regulate his breath before continuing, "Neither can I let bad things happen to you! You are my brother-in-law, Ping. I don't want your life became a worthless sacrifice that had no value. It'll be foolish if I let you into the battle when I know you are going to die," he argued. It was a sensible statement.

"It's nothing personal," he said again, forcing his voice to be cold and unfeeling. "Some men are not designed for battle. I much rather sending you home now, than sending words of bereavement to your father. Now please, just go home."

That moment he could see angry tears hanging on the young soldier eyes as Ping snatched Khan's rein from his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry for my lateness in updating this story, life happens and I found it hard to find the time to write! As usual, all grammatical mistakes are mine. As some of you have eagerly mentioned that you can't wait to see Shang's reaction to the pregnancy: unfortunately that won't happen really soon. At the moment, I am planning to gradually unravel the main plot and kept the romance as the subplot of the story.
> 
> Also, for the benefit of those of wasn't familiar with Chinese kingdom, in this story (and for simplicity sake), I assume that China had united as a single large kingdom with Forbidden City as its capital. Northern Wei is assumed as one of it's autonomous province with Prince of Wei as its leader.
> 
> While I know this story has a lot of flaws and shortcomings, faves, follow and comments are much cherished.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	19. For Many Reasons

 

> " _You said you want to talk?" Shao said as a way of greeting as Shang paid him a visit right after he arrived that evening from what everyone thought was a journey from Chang'an. And being the clever crook that he was_ ― _Shao Wei obviously had carefully taken a different route to avoid anyone's suspicion._
> 
> " _Do you have time?"_
> 
> " _Of course," he said, pointing at the empty seat in front of him. Shang bowed politely before taking his place._
> 
> " _Shao, I'm not a man who likes to probe on someone else's business, but I've been left wondering for weeks. Why did you come here to train with a low-class regiment while you are offered a place in the Imperial Army?" Shang worded his sentence carefully._
> 
> _Shao unceremoniously plopped himself on the settee as he considered his answer. "Oh, humility is a mark of a true hero," he grinned, clearly crafting his answer to tease Shang._
> 
> _Shang observed him._ _Regardless of the fact that they were living under austere condition. The Prince was still dressed in a suit that Shang knew cost more than what he made in a year. His robe impeccably pressed, tailored to fit his tight figure to perfection. Series of opulent looking gold embroidery running through the trimming of his trousers. A whiff of expensive cedar wood mark his presence, and his face was glowing with success and prosperity_ _―_ _a perfect representation of Chinese royal's beneficiary._
> 
> _Yeah, humility personified. Shang thought sardonically._
> 
> " _Why did you ask?"_
> 
> " _Just curious," Shang said, subtlety hiding his true intention of digging the truth out of him. "How's your meeting in Chang'an?"_
> 
> " _It was fine," Shao Wei replied coolly. "Just usual political discussion that will bore anyone to their death."_
> 
> " _Nothing else?"_
> 
> " _No. Why?"_
> 
> " _Oh well, it's just…_ _―_ _I was in Xi'an to buy weekly supply, and I thought I saw you," Shang said, putting a pause and observed the Prince's reaction. Shang decided that maybe, even when Chi-Fu's plan of catching the Prince red-handed was a total failure, he still could bait the Prince into confessing._
> 
> " _Aren't you meeting… someone there? A woman?"_
> 
> " _You saw me? With a woman?" Shao guffawed. "I am surprised the article is singular. Should've been 'women' if you knew me well."_
> 
> _Shang refused to deviate from the subject. "So you really were there then, in Xi'an," he affirmed. "Which is… a complete detour from Chang'an, am I right?" he pressed on._
> 
> " _Oh, that," Shao laughed, still completely unfazed and collected. "I was staying the night there to pay regards on my late aunt. Her dust was rested in Hoching temple outside Xi'an."_
> 
> _Shang was certain the Prince was lying through his teeth, but he patiently listened to the cover story Shao weaved because he knew he had no proof to say otherwise._
> 
> " _So, this woman you are meeting…?" Shang began. "Is she…_ _―_ _"_
> 
> " _She is just a friend," Shao said quickly. And before Shang fired another question, Shao craftily shot him back. "Shang, tell me. Have you ever been in love?"_
> 
> _Shang blinked, completely didn't expect such topics to be brought up._
> 
> " _In all due respect, I believe emotional attachment makes one weak Your Honor," Shang said, keeping the subject impersonal._
> 
> " _So, no one you can say holds a special place in your heart?"_
> 
> _"No," Shang said firmly._
> 
> _"Not even your wife?"_
> 
> _Shang was dumbfounded. Why would the Prince suddenly mention his wife?_
> 
> _"My personal feeling is not out for public scrutiny," Shang retorted plainly. "But let me tell you that having a woman in your life doesn't equate love. I am sure you are much aware of this fact."_
> 
> _Shao Wei barked out a laugh that was far louder than appropriate. "You made marriage sound like torture."_
> 
> _Shang cleared his throat. "I might be a husband, but I am a soldier first and foremost. The only dedication and loyalty I swore are to the country and the Emperor," Shang said with conviction, but a strange, alarming twist strangled his chest._
> 
> _Shao let out a mirthless chuckle. "I see."_
> 
> _Weeks ago, Shang would feel annoyed at the man's impertinence and audacity in making a sarcastic remark about his personal life, but his irritation quickly wiped out when he remembered Chi-Fu's story of the Prince's unfortunate life. Shao Wei had lost his mother in his teen together with his nursing maid….and then lost his only sibling nearly a year ago. Perhaps this was Shao's mechanism to cope with his loss, he thought. Now Shang could only feel pity, a pity he would never dare to vocalise._
> 
> _But Shao's subsequent inquiry quickly dashed whatever Shang had on his head. "Is that why you are fond of Ping?"_
> 
> " _Fond?"_
> 
> " _Yes… fond."_
> 
> _There was a hinted innuendo with the way Shao said the word. Shang practically growled in his frustration. "I can't believe what you are suggesting there, Your Majesty."_
> 
> _"Well, a nobleman like yourself could take more than one mistresses," the young prince added. "Too bad Ping isn't a woman."_
> 
> _Shang's frown deepened, he had no idea where the prince planned to take this conversation into._
> 
> _"Are you suggesting that I fancy a romantic relationship with Ping?"_
> 
> " _Maybe?" The Prince said cunningly with rhetoric. "I can see you have a soft spot for the boy."_
> 
> " _What?" Shang's hackles rose, but he quickly reminded himself of the appropriate social decorum. He was dealing with a prince after all._
> 
> " _Shang, relax…" Shao patted his shoulder good-naturedly. "Every man is allowed to have a wild dream. A fantastical imagination. It what makes us….men!"_
> 
> _Truthfully, Shang didn't know why he still entertained the Prince's ridiculous interrogation into his private life. If he was indeed attracted to Ping, why would he discuss the finite points of what it was like to harbour a physical attraction to another man with a stranger? Shang shook his head from irrational daze. He can't even properly love a woman he already married to, let alone considering pursuing someone else._
> 
> _"But don't worry, I am the man of integrity," Shao Wei chuckled, clearly amused with Shang's displeased expression. "Your secret is safe with me. I won't breathe a word," he promised._
> 
> " _As long as you did what I tell you to do."_

"Captain Li?" Chien-Po said, breaking Shang's daze. He was sparring with Ling, and the lanky man was sandwiched between him and the ground, grunting helplessly but refusing to surrender.

"Oh! Um. Yes, very good Chien-Po," Shang said whatever came first to his mind.

"Er, but Captain… I tripped!"

"Oh!" Shang could feel his face burning in embarrassment. He shuffled his feet in apparent nervousness. What had he been thinking? He exhaled and swiftly rebound his expressionless don't-mess-with-me' facade.

"Yes. Well. Try again. Let see," he said to Chien-Po. "While the rest," he shouted to the crowd, "Please run fifty laps until lunchtime."

A confused murmur erupted, but no one dared to voice their thought. Shang just huffed and left them.

Shang really couldn't understand why he couldn't focus on his training that day. He spent the majority of his life doing the exact same routine every morning. But right now... he couldn't find his concentration.

Was it because of the bitter exchange between him and his brother-in-law, Ping? Had he played favourites? Had he developed a soft spot for the young man liked the Prince conjectured?

_No. That couldn't be._

If there were any feeling towards Ping, it would be something akin to sympathy… and perhaps a hint of pity.

Despite Ping's incapability, it was selfless of him to come as a replacement for his elderly father. But it was also foolish of him to think that he wouldn't die to honour his family and China when he couldn't even strike a target, aimed a cannon or caught a fish.

_Then, you don't need to feel bad dismissing him. You've done the Fa favour._

But the look of brokenness in Ping's eyes. The shock that slowly transformed into resentment.

It was the same look as Mulan when he refused to go in place of her father. There were tears of disappointment leaking from her eyes. The wound she struggled to conceal. The bitterness and secret she tried to hide from him.

It was the same look as his mother, Li Yue, looked at him since he was…―

Shang shook his head to curb the useless, energy-sapping emotion at bay. His mother had nothing to do with this.

He knew he shouldn't feel this way. Towards his mother. Towards Mulan… or Ping.

He had never been attached to anyone in this context. Not even his father, the sole figure that he thought sincerely with his heart to be the closest person to him. Shang was groomed to be a rational man, who was taught that emotion would make ones weak and susceptible to intimidation. Emotional attachment to someone would blunt his sharp decision-making ability and cloud logical judgement.

He did what he supposed to do as a good, responsible leader―protecting his soldier from vain, meaningless death. A good leader didn't use his feeling, but rather―his head. And rationality, he had saved the Fa the only heir to their names. Yet, he felt awful like he had violated some sort of moral order for causing such agony.

He sighed through his nose as Ping entered the deserted courtyard, rubbing the soreness out of his shoulders and cracking his neck. Shang made a face. Okay, it seemed quite bad-ass for him to do it, but for a boy as young and skinny as Ping to crack knuckles, his neck and other bones in his petite frame, he was starting to see why that turned off a lot of people. He made a mental note to rein that bad habit of his.

The black ring around Ping's eyes and the bloodshot redness around his pupil spoke volumes about how the young boy may have spent his night. Shang was guessing he didn't sleep well last night―well, perhaps didn't sleep at all!

_Maybe you should speak to him, set the record straight once he calms down._

Shang revealed himself on the back of the clearing. Ping didn't take notice of him.

 _He must be ignoring me_ , Shang thought ruefully, especially after not so pleasant dismissal that certainly bruised that little soldier's pride.

Shang shook his head and gave up on his own training, instead opting to watch Ping as he began his morning routine. He began with gentle and fluid, tai chi moves―one of the exercises that he excelled. Shang should've been jealous that Ping was a lot more graceful that he would ever be, but he was so enraptured by the twisting of his hand, the gentle sloping of his back and the fluid of his arms and legs to really felt anything besides...

Wait, what was he thinking?

His eyes widened with that dangerous epiphany.

Was he...  _attracted_  to Ping? Was the Prince  _right_  about him? Was he  _fond_  of Ping in a non-platonic sense?

Shang bit back a laugh.  _Attracted_? The thought was delusionally absurd! Ping was a man, and Shang, despite the majority of his days spent with a throng of testosterone driven bunch, was quite certain he was straight inside out. There was plenty of occasions he met a rather effeminate man like Ping and he was positive he had never felt any lustful urge as a man would to a woman. But somehow, he had seen Ping as though... as though, he was... a woman!

_Is that even possible?_

One particular incident where he invited Ping to his tent to retrieve a letter from Fa Zhou surfaced in his mind. As it began to seep into his memories once more, objectively he was able to see that perhaps his affection towards Ping that day could have been construed as less than platonic.

 _I did not just think of that._  He watched the young warrior for another moment before gagging at his own thought.  _You are sick! You are a married man... a seasoned warrior! You are the one supposed to set a good example for him!_

But there was nothing wrong with a look... the relationship between men are prevalent in a context of battlefront where they deprived of women. Yes, men, even the mightiest warriors, were still creature with needs... carnal needs... right?

_Hell with the carnal needs! Just...just snap out of it!_

Now that Shang was off on that sobering thought, he realised if his thought were spoken out loud there was more than the social controversy. First was obviously his father's reaction to any perceived advances on his part that would make him regret to even think of it. And then Fa Zhou would kill him. His father-in-law, perhaps, would tolerate if he took a second wife, but bringing a man in his household? More so his youngest son? He would murder him, and feed his corpse to the birds.

Shang shook his head and returned to his silent training.

* * *

Before his current assignment, Shang was aware of spreading rumour surrounding the death of Consort Yang, Shao Wei's mother. Many years ago, she was found poisoned together with a few of her handmaid. There was obviously a great furore in the harem after her untimely death. She was one of the most prominent and powerful figures in the Wei Palace and the most favoured by the current ruler of Wei―Prince Wei Zhang, Shao Wei's father― because she was the first and only concubine to give him a male heir to the throne of Wei. Plotting such a murder would guarantee public humiliation and capital punishment to whoever convicted.

The head of Palace's security managed to capture a Chinese mercenary who committed suicide immediately after being apprehended. But everyone knew, this man was only a device on the hand of more powerful man―the real mastermind of the crime.

Henceforth, there was a lot of speculation: most rancorous rumour was suggesting Consort Yang's infidelity, while some suspected she was blackmailing one of the royal nobility and had to pay a hefty price. In any case, to preserve his family's good name and the Palace's reputation, Prince Wei Zhang immediately closed the case and threatened all the member of his staff that they would face brutal torture if any dared to spread the scandalous gossip outside the Palace wall.

But the story that had since forgotten with time after the years lapsed, was now brought back to attention after Princess Wei Xiu Ting, Shao Wei's sister, died after a strange illness in recent months―another enigmatic death within the harem to which no one dared to inquire.

However, those with connections and who rubbed shoulder closely with people beyond the Palace wall suggested that this was no coincidence. The princess was supposed to be given to Kaidu, the Khan of the Huns, to wife on her twentieth birthday. Whether she had committed deliberate suicide, kidnapped or run away, no one knew. But as the result, Wei Zhang's failure to fulfil the political allegiance incited the tension between the Chinese and the Huns.

Chi-Fu testified that he was one of the groups of person who heard the first-hand account of the tale. Shao Wei told him that he believed his father was involved in the tragic death of his mother because she was obstinately objecting to her daughter's betrothal to the leader of the Huns. Chi-Fu obviously had never shared this story with anyone outside the royal circle, fearing horrific consequences.

But then he met Shang, a young captain with nonexistent political agenda, an unsophisticated man who had no inclination to the gossip-spreading routine. Thus, he relayed the story to Shang.

"You don't believe me, Captain Li?" Chi-Fu scoffed when Shang regarded him with an incredulous look after he ended the story.

For a person who had lost two closest family member, seemed like Shao Wei had an uncanny ability to move on from things, things that would normally leave people scarred for life. However, Shao motives to join the low ranked battalion with inexperienced recruits had stayed unknown.

"It's not that. I mean, while I can believe the to death cases may be related, but saying that Prince Wei Zhang himself was involved in the death of his own consort...," Shang shook his head. "Chi-Fu, that's a serious allegation. You need to watch out your tongue."

"You are terribly snarky Captain Li. That is his son's speculation, not mine," Chi-Fu pointed out. "I am merely a vessel of his thoughts."

Just before Shang managed to get any words out, an imperious bark got louder outside their fabric barrier.

"I don't care that I haven't any appointment with the Captain. I am  _the_  Prince."

"Wait! Your Honor!" One of the recruits obviously tried to explain that Shang was currently occupied, but too late…. the Prince barged in, flashing his dashing posture that would make any maiden swooning on his feet.

"Captain Li," he addressed.

"You are dismissed!" With a single wave of his hand, the soldier who was initially barring his access fled―a solid proof of the man that exuded power.

"At your service," Shang bowed reverently. "Your Highness, what brings you here?" Shang was trying to be polite.

"Is that true that you've dismissed Fa Ping from his post?"

"Yes. It was because…―"

"Silence," Shao Wei snapped and lifted his hand. Even Chi-Fu was left frozen on his feet. "I know the reason. You don't have to waste your breath explaining that to me." There was a hint of annoyance surrounding his voice that Shang had no idea why. It irked him somehow that the young nobility behaved patronisingly as though he was responsible for all his recruits.

"However, I demand you to reverse your decision and…―"

Shang flicked his gaze that previously had been trained on the ground, looking at the Prince in disbelief. "What? But why would I…―"

"Silence!" Shao barked, and Shang could only grit his teeth in silence anger. "It is my power as a  _Prince_  to overturn your decision,  _Captain_  Li," Shao Wei strongly put an emphasise on Shang's position contrasting it with his.

"Yes, but I won't dismiss any of my recruits if they can prove themselves worthy to bear their armour!" Shang finally managed to spit the words out. Shang knew they were hardly friends despite Shao Wei's invitation to call him intimately by his first name, but he had never seen the Prince so worked up like this before.

"He will be worthy of his armour, just give him two weeks," Shao announced.

"But, we don't…―"

"Do as I said," Shao cut him in, tipping his head towards Chi-Fu who frantically recorded their exchange on his notes and nodded his silent approval.

Shang could only grit his teeth. The Prince was the type of guy that turned everyone he met into yes-men who were desperate to please or to form alliances. Shang didn't want to make himself into the number, but he immediately found himself cornered.

* * *

It's been a couple of hours Mulan sulked on the corner of the tent, refusing anything to eat nor drink. Not to mention, she had spent the entire night outside the tent, pondering in grief. She ignored the train of question Mushu was firing about why Khan was outside and her belonging that already packed haphazardly into her sack.

Yes, Shang had dismissed her. This was her chance to return home without expounding her impersonation, yet strangely, she didn't feel happy or excited or anything remotely positive.

Instead, she felt like a total failure.

And Shang, the only person she thought would understand, had lost faith in her. However, deep inside―especially after failing him twice in the same day during the hike, she knew she was just buying time.

 _Some men are not designed for battle._ Shang's words rattled around in her head. She knew Shang was just being plain and honest about her ability. It was her failure that earned her such treatment. But it got her thinking whether he would give her the benefit of the doubt if he knew the boy he wished to keep was the wife he had left behind?

But it didn't make the pain felt less painful. Why were his words of dismissal became the thing that finally broke her down? Why did she let his sparse and empty words defined her? She had been beaten, mocked and insulted in various occasions, but she had steeled through them all.

"How long am I supposed to watch you wallowing?" Mushu pleaded.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, shoving more stuff into her bag with a gusto.

"Okay," Mushu said carefully. "But if you leave...your bed will be empty. Ling and Chien-Po will notice, then Chef Zhang will look for his little kitchen boy. And that gossipy Chi-Fu and they will..―"

"Yes, I know, but can we not talk about it now?"

"Sure, but where are you going?"

Mulan gave him a look."Is this your  _not talking_  about it?"

"Ok fine. Fine. Sorry," Mushu lifted his claws trying to placate her. "But can you at least tell me what's going here?"

Mulan pulled a long sigh before saying this weakly, "Shang dismissed me."

"He…― _What_?"

But the dragon's surprise swiftly turned to confusion. "Then, what's that long face is for? I thought you want to see your family. You told the Captain you missed them! You should be glad that both you and your father are spared to face the war," he stated his logic. The bewilderment in the Guardian's voice was evident.

"Yes, I do miss them, but…―" she trailed off, and Mushu scratched his head.

"When men said women are impossible to understand, they ain't joking."

"It's not like that," Mulan breathed. "My father will go if he realised I've been disqualified and terminated from my training… and he-," she swallowed, imagining how angry and disappointed her father would be if she returned. "He won't forgive me. I am a disgrace to the family. If I came home, I will only tarnish his reputation and defame his good name."

"Think of the brighter side, you've grown stronger since. Soon your abs could rival Shang's, and you don't have to stare at his… you can stare at your own. Besides, you may… or may not...have  _something_  else to think about," and then drops his gaze briefly to Mulan's midsection and lifted an eyebrow in unspoken question.

 _Oh yeah, that! Dang it!_  Her eyes automatically coasted on the open sack of barley, sitting on the corner of her bedroll. As two months went by, there was still no sign of germination, which was  _great_. She might have one less problem to think about, but now… she was dismissed, the result didn't really matter anymore.

"You see, perhaps your dismissal wasn't all a bad thing! You can stop this lie once and for all and return to your normal―womanly life."

Mulan rolled her eyes, "Are you done?"

Mushu ran his claws down his face. "Look, Girl. Sorry for the harsh words. The truth is, we're both frauds. Your ancestors had never sent me. They don't even like me. But you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions."

But intentions would not save her father from battle, won't help her to win a war and won't proof anything to Shang.

She ignored Mushu's exclaim of "Hey, where are you going?" when she marched out of the tent to do her morning Tai Chi and figured out it would help her to relax her mind.

* * *

Mulan supposed to head home that afternoon, but the dawn of General Li's visit had caused her departure to be postponed. Apparently, Chef Zhang needed an extra hand in the kitchen, and she was given an extra day to hang around the encampment to help up with the washing.

When the work was done, she prowled quietly, leaving the crowds, avoiding to engage in any sort of conversation with people. The last thing she wanted was for any of them to know that she was terminated prematurely from her post. While her mouth could keep the secret under wraps, she was worried that her expression couldn't. Besides, she wasn't ready to face Shang and looked at his disappointed face again. No, not yet.

So, instead, she borrowed Ling's ruan and sat on the hill that was overlooking the encampment.

From a distance, she could see the rest of the team was embroiled in pleasant shenanigans after Chi-Fu decided to have an elaborate banquet to welcome General Li. Mulan had never been fond of drinking, but for once she was thankful there was some strong drink provided tonight. She sighed in relief as the alcohol burnt her throat.

And her eyes caught a glimpse of the Prince of Wei in his lavish robe and the episode of what happened last night transpired.

 

> _She ran to her usual spot by the river and sat, with her knees pulled up to her chest, tears soon joined and quietly fell down her cheeks. She hadn't cried since she left home, ever. Not a single tear fell when she was mocked, beaten, exhausted and bullied._
> 
> _Of course, it was stupid to think Shang was different than any other men_ _―_ _a man that someday would accept and respect her as his equal. Mulan knew the impossibility of it, but_ _her desire of his body had blinded her to his fault. Yes, the physical pleasure of their union had seduced her heart entirely and made her still falling in love with him despite her knowledge._
> 
> _The pain was agonising that the thought of battlefront felt to be a lovely respite from the world of dishonour and betrayal._
> 
> _"Fa Ping?"_
> 
> _Mulan saw the glimpse of… Prince of Wei?_
> 
> _How the hell he found her there?_
> 
> _Oh well, not relevant. But of all time to have a breakdown, why it had to be now? Of all the times to allow those walls around her heart to crumble into dust, why did he have to come to witness it?_
> 
> _She heard his footsteps approaching and then depositing himself next to her. Mulan shifted when he got too close to her liking._
> 
> " _I wish to have some privacy if you don't mind," she said sharply._
> 
> _If he was bothered, he hid it well. The man held up his hands in a conciliatory way, trying to be the calm adult in this exchange. "Relax, soldier...I just want to make sure you are not doing anything stupid."_
> 
> _A warm cup of tea made it into her view. Mulan would've been touched by the Prince's sympathetic gesture until he revealed the reason of his pity. She accepted the cup quietly without looking at him._
> 
> _"Sorry, don't mean to eavesdrop, but his tent right across mine._ _I'm sorry for what had happened," he said._
> 
> _Mulan pretended not to hear him even when his words evoked the terrible nightmare that had strangled her for many days to come._
> 
> " _Captain Li has dismissed you, didn't he?" the Prince repeated, responding to her silence._
> 
> _Screw you all, males! Rebuked the internal voice in her head. She sniffed, turning her face away and standing._
> 
> _"What do you want?" At the moment she just wanted him to leave, but the Prince did the exact opposite._
> 
> _"Ping..." he said more firmly, putting a friendly pat on her shoulder. "I can help you."_
> 
> _She didn't say anything, but the Prince had seen the question on her face: What did you say?_
> 
> " _I. Can. Help. You," he repeated. "If you managed to pick that arrow from the mast, you have a good argument to stay."_
> 
> _Confusion painted on her face, which was natural given the context of the situation, why would he offer to help her anyway?_
> 
> " _You are not the only one with someone you hold dear." He gave her a polite nod, the heat in his eyes belying the politeness. "Consider my offer, Fa Ping. This may be your last chance to hold your family's honour."_
> 
> _He stood up and prepare to leave, briefly watching her waged war within herself._

'Someone you hold dear', Mulan's mind replayed the scene she witnessed between the Prince and Ting Ting.

 _He may be a snobbish royal, but at least he was willing to risk everything for someone he loved,_ Mulan thought.  _Even when he will betray his country…_ _―_

" _It's an honour for a man to defend their country."_ Shang's word lashed out in her mind as if rebuking her short-sightedness. _"Your father knew his place! And it's time for you to learn yours!"_

 _I guess you are right about me, Shang,_  she thought gravely.  _I am just a useless woman after all._

Mulan wiped the tears that she didn't know was there. It seemed like her days would always end in guilt, tears, and an empty bottle of whatever she got his hands on first.

She decided not to dwell on her disappointment and picked up the ruan. She strummed the bow and coaxed the instrument to play just a few decibels louder so that the sounds of it shrill soared over the sound of the happy chattering in the distance. It was almost loud enough to drown out her thoughts about Shang's dismissal.

"Mind if I join?" Shao Wei said from behind her as she was taking her first sip right after finishing a song. 

"Oh, I thought I you'll be busy enjoying the banquet?" Mulan said, not meeting his eyes to hide her surprise. What was he doing here?

"Yes and no. I've eaten all I can and so I thought I'd come over here. I hope you won't take this the wrong way but you liked sort of alone over here. Where is Ling, Chien-Po?"

"Oh, they are helping the rest to cook an extra meal. Apparently we consumed more than we intended to. I think ration and austere measure is thrown out of the window for today."

"I take it the Chef hasn't really trust you to enter his kitchen again, has he?" The Prince sounded serious, but a faint smirk was evident on his face.

"Yeah, sort of forbidden area for me now. Too bad, because I began to enjoy cooking and making people sick in the process," she said. "He figured that washing the dishes perhaps a safer alternative for everyone."

The Prince bit his laugh at that. For once, Mulan saw how sincerely jovial he looked. Without his permanent sinister scowl and his sharp, sarcastic tongue, actually, Shao Wei was quite a pleasant man to be with. Had his meeting with Ting Ting had anything to do with this?

Mulan looked up at him, words on the tip of her tongue, questions she wanted to ask him. She wanted to ask him who was Ting Ting and what his relationship with the Huns Princess? Why had he come to join the regiment and…. plenty other question that made her head spinning. But she wasn't supposed to have overheard what she had overheard and saw what she had seen. So instead she settled with an awkward grin.

"I'd say you need to make Chi-Fu really sick, or perhaps you can set his tent a fire one more time. I began to grow weary to his constant meddling," he added, his smirk grew exponentially in size.

"I'd bet Captain Li will agree with you in a heartbeat," she replied, trying to sound neutral as she mentioned Shang's name.

"Speaking of which," Shao steered the conversation, his demeanour turned serious. "Is that true Captain Li is your brother-in-law?"

"Yes. That's...that's right," Mulan said, a little anxious with the direction of the conversation.

"How much do you know him?"

Mulan gulped quietly. "Not much, he wedded my sister not long ago. Apart from that, I hardly know anything about him apart from how ruthless he is."

"Captain Li Shang," the Prince said with a chuckle. "Who guessed one could be both handsome and capricious?"

Mulan bit her lips and answered his banter with a forced smile. Her mind flew to the conversation they had earlier that day.

"Your Honor, what do you mean when you said earlier that you could help me?... And most importantly.... _why_?"

"Fa Ping!" As if ordained by divine intervention, Chi-Fu appeared from behind the trees, waving his hand impatiently to attract their attention, only to succumb in a deep blush when he realised he was caught yelling in the presence of the Prince of Wei.

"Your…. Your Honor, my apology, I didn't…"

Shao Wei interrupted him by raising his hand and firmly cut in. "State your business Chi-Fu."

Chi-Fu looked at him sheepishly, clearing his throat as he bowed."Right… of course, Your Honor," the counsellor obeyed reverently, before turning his sour face to Mulan. "The Captain wants you. Now!"

* * *

Shang drew a heavy sigh as he finished counting three hundred press-ups. He took his towel and propped himself against the tree. The rest of the encampment was enjoying a short break, a dinner, to welcome General Li's visit. He should be out there, having fun and engaged in meaningful conversation with his father, but he found out it was impossible to take his mind off his recent exchange with the Prince of Wei.

" _It is my power as a Prince to overturn your decision, Captain Li."_

Why the hell the Prince wanted Ping to stay? It was no news that Shao Wei was a man of many secrets, but Fa Ping was far too young and naive to be involved in all sort of dirty politics.  _Or…is he embroiled in something more intimate? Like… trading sex with…_ Shang pinched the bridge of his nose, driving his incredibly presumptive thoughts away.

Whatever it was knew he could do nothing but to obey.

So, begrudgingly, he asked Chi-Fu, who dragged the young soldier who was in the middle of his dinner or drinking or whatever it was, looking somewhat confused and anxious as though he had run into serious trouble to be dragged out of his meal.

From his tent entrance, he saw Shao Wei lingered outside his tent, shedding his robe and preparing to run his own drill.

The Prince grinned towards his direction as their eyes met and nodded in pleasant agreement.

* * *

Mulan trained her eyes towards the ground as she approached Shang's tent to conceal any puzzlement, anxiety and bitterness from showing. Hundreds of scenario of why Shang suddenly summoned her ran through her mind. None of which positive―perhaps just another mock on her mediocre fighting ability. Yes, Shang's words were still burning on her ears. He might be right that she would never make a good soldier, but…

She wanted Shang at least to know―to know this part of her secret. She wasn't a wife with sterile obedience to her husband. She wasn't just a useless woman―even when he thought she was. She was a fighter―a fighter who lived within her principles and who could make her voice be heard…. even when her end was humiliation and defeat.

And even when Shang would be utterly distraught by the revelation, and she potentially running the risk of him divorcing her―she needed him to know who she was inside.

"Sir?" she said, marshalling all her courage to speak up.

"Fa Ping." Shang sounded testy but was shirtless, as usual. "So, do you know why I call you?"

"No, Sir," she answered. She was genuinely confused by all this, but a large part of her awareness was taken up with the mental fight not to stare at Shang's chest.

While just a stone throw away, the Prince wiped his bare muscular torso that was currently dripping with sweat, smirking smugly towards her direction.

Damn these shirtless men. How was a girl supposed to concentrate when they walk around like that?

She shook her head, trying to shove the unwanted distraction at bay.

She closed her eyes and breathed. "Captain Li, before you say anything. Please let me speak up."

* * *

_Meanwhile, in Forbidden City..._

"Your Majesty the Son of Heaven," addressed the doorkeeper, "Your Highness Prince of Wei is here."

The Emperor dipped his head signalling the guards and everyone else in the room to leave.

Wei Zhang strengthened his spine and schooled one of his jovial countenances that he usually wore to public gathering before opening his arms in a friendly embrace. "Eldest Brother Xiongnu, it's been a while. Hope I find you well. I am sorry that I…-"

"You're late," his brother accused, clearly sounding unimpressed.

Wei Zhang had no defence, considering the invitation was from the Emperor himself, and he'd meant to be here a good hour ago. He glanced back, but all his councillor had abandoned him to his fate. Wei Zhang lifted a hand to stay his brother's diatribe and said, "My transport had―"

"Safe it, we have a matter of greatest importance to address," Xiongnu interrupted, walking closer and stopping just inside his personal space. They hadn't spoken face to face since the failure of Wei Zhang's ill-advised liaison with the Huns. But since the stability of their relationship was one of the main ingredients in China's political cohesion, they had remained civil and responded to each other in writing to retain the facade. It was until last week, Wei Zhang received an invitation to meet his estranged brother, no doubt for a matter of greatest importance.

"We have reason to suspect someone within the family is involved in political espionage." The Emperor suddenly turned towards him. " _Your_  family."

If Wei Zhang knew his brother well he wouldn't be at all surprised by his recrimination, especially many years ago, their relationship was tainted with similar disagreement. But still, he took a moment to process.

"My brother, in all due respect, you can't just point finger at my family without any concrete proof," Wei Zhang responded, trying to be polite even when his brother's words shredded him.

"Once there is a wise man said: people give up their lives for many reasons. For friendship, for love, for an ideal. And people kill for the same reasons," the Emperor chuckled mirthlessly. "What other proof should I give you? I knew from the start that your dangerous liaison with the Huns was because you want  _this_  throne.  _My_  throne. Your daughter was just a puppet―a decoy, even your brainless wife could see that. If it is not because those little hiccups that turned your peaceful treaty into a war, I suspected one of those Huns might have killed me!"

Wei Zhang's expression turned from anger to condescension. "Be far from me what you've said! I may want your throne, Brother. But to conspire with the Huns to eliminate you? Never!"

The Emperor just stared at him, tilting his head and lacing his fingers as he sat behind his mahogany bureau.

Wei Zhang sighed, "You know me since we were kids, Brother. I may not be the most compassionate nor noble leader, but laying a finger to plot against my own flesh and blood?" He shook his head. "That's not me. I just hope establishing Chinese ties with the Huns will earn me your approval to give your daughter to marry my son. Nothing else."

The Emperor fell deep in thoughts. "Fine," he said, but his expression was closed off. It was a fair reasoning. He had no male heir, and by marrying his eldest daughter to his own nephew, they would keep the line of succession within their family. "But how can you explain this? How conveniently Princess Wei Ting had died a week before her…―"

"It was an unexpected crisis. I told you that," Wei Zhang interrupted, his tone sharp. "You want to say all this war between the countries was down to  _my_  doing?" he scoffed. "My daughter's death is a tragedy to my family!"

The Emperor rose from his seat. "Master Peng of the Imperial Intelligence who is heading the investigation has obtained some interesting evidence," he explained, "...and while we don't know exactly who was the mastermind or how he did this, but we know Princess Wei Ting is still alive."

"She is….what?" Wei Zhang needed a second take on that.

"She is still alive," the Emperor confirmed. "Our spy saw her. Thanks to the crafty work of someone who clearly has an interest of keeping her out of the political betrothal," he cleared his throat. "And when I heard your dear son refused to take his place as a part of the elite regime, who could not wonder why? You honestly think this is a mere coincidence?"

Swallowing his flare of irritation Wei Zhang gave his brother a short nod. "Okay, what's the plan? Shall I call Shao Wei and ask him…―"

"No," the Emperor declared. "I've sent the imperial army to neutralise the situation and brought in both Prince and Princess any cost."

Wei Zhang halted mid-step, turning on his heel to face him. He should try to school the expression on his face, but that seemed like too much effort for the moment. He probably looked murderous. Or like-an-angry-bull in his son's parlance. He glared at his brother. "Excuse me?"

"This is a very delicate matter, Wei Zhang, and I, as the Emperor would…―"

"He is my son," he countered. Loudly. "You've sent soldier to….to  _arrest_  him? Are you suggesting, without firm evidence, that he is the one..."

"You're wrong," the Emperor answered, raising his hand in a placating manner. Considering the circumstances, Wei Zhang was sure he's misreading the calm look on his brother's face. He couldn't possibly be happy about this, and then continued, "I am not suggesting anything. But if my eldest daughter were to be married to him, Shao Wei wouldn't just be my nephew, he would be the future emperor, and thus it is my best interest to make sure he is clear from all allegation."

And Wei Zhang must be imagining the note of satisfaction in his tone. "This union was your idea."

Wei Zhang opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. If he was surprised at the idea of political espionage, he was absolutely stunned at the Emperor's assertion that his son could be a part of it. All these kinds of twisted plots were normally his forte. Shao Wei may be a clever, witty young man, but his brain was stuffed with relentless party, women and gambling to care too much with position and power. The suggestion was so absurd and wrong that he didn't even know where to start. "Brother..."

"I've contacted Master Peng," the Emperor said. "His team would report to us in about two weeks time."

With that, Xiongnu gave him the cold smiles and turned towards the double door, heading out of his office with more than his usual grandeur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience waiting for me to update this story. Hope the next update won't be this long. It's been fun writing this story and I hope you all enjoy this too. I know you all wonder when Mulan will tell the truth and why Shang was such a jerk in this fiction - rest assured I tie all loose ends. I know the plot moves kind of slowly, but I feel it is important not to rush the story.
> 
> Review, fave and follow are cherished. And a snippet of the next chapter will be posted on my Tumblr 3431jessica. Thank you!


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